『 crimson_lipsxx 』

✰ cover
The cover is super cute. I like that the four girls are on the book cover itself and the font of the title fits the story.

✰ title
The title is the name of the band but is also the name of a song if I remember correctly, and I think it goes really well with this group. However, it would've been a bit more interesting if they would have come up with a band name on their own--this is just my opinion, I still think that this band name is super cool.

✰ blurb
I love the quote in the blurb! It really sets the reader up for who the members of the band will be. It also exudes girl power ~

The blurb is okay, I would just recommend adding just a bit more to it. Like who are the other members of the band? What is the conflict, if there is any?

✰ characters
The dynamic of the group is so much fun to read, especially in chapter three. Dialogue can be quite tricky to get right but I think you've done a great job at it when it comes to the girls. Their bond seems totally real.

✰ plot
I love the plot of this story. I might just be a bit biased because I've always wanted to write a story with a group of girls in a band (I've also always wanted to be in a band myself lol), but it really is a lot of fun to read. It's especially interesting to see the process in which they get signed.

✰ pacing
The pacing is fine, my only suggestion is that you put the flashbacks in italics just so we can distinguish it from the story that's told in the present tense.

Your story flows perfectly! It's easy to follow and read through.

✰ grammar/language
I was a bit confused at first because you kept changing in between past and present tense and I couldn't quite tell if it was a flashback or the present. I found this issue throughout the story--there was a lot of mixing between past and present tense.

Remember that words like is, can, will, do, etc. are all in the present tense, while words like was, could, would, did, etc. are in the past tense. I suggest doing more research on this as it can get quite difficult to grasp. Practicing this, however, will help you understand which to use and when to use it.

Now, this really didn't make sense:

The entire story is told in the third person but I would occasionally feel like you wanted to tell it in first. Here is a perfect example, you used "I" instead of the person's name. Try figuring out how you want this story to be told. Do you want it told from the perspective of someone in the band or in the third person?

✰ overall thoughts
Overall, I think your story is so much fun to read! I love the relationship that's building between Carrie and John. I wish you all the best in your writing endeavors!

✎ . . . .

Happy writing!