『 ViolaJenning_ 』

✰ cover
I genuinely love this cover. It's very minimal and simplistic—those are the type of covers I love. The figure of the girl in the middle just adds so much to it.

✰ title
The title has opposite qualities within itself and that's what makes it so unique.

✰ blurb
The blurb is nice but I feel like you can give us a little more about the story as a whole. Like is there something in Lilliana's past that her mom and Bryant don't want her to find out? And maybe explain who Byrant is because before going into the story, the reader doesn't know who he is.

✰ characters
I think that starting with a character who has insomnia is a brilliant idea. It makes the character a blank page the reader can put themselves into as we go through this journey of discovering who they are. There are still a lot of things to be uncovered about who Lilliana is, but if I had to give an educated guess, I'd assume that Lilliana was someone who was constantly badgered by her parents to get good grades and to be the perfect child. Her friends weren't really her friends—they just followed her around because she was popular.

Bryant seems kind of selfish, in a way that he doesn't care about Lilliana's feelings at the moment at all. Lilliana said it best herself: instead of being loving and caring towards her during this time, he's somewhat cold and angry. If I had a loved one who lost their memory, I surely wouldn't treat them like that. But then again, he is just a teenager so I don't expect too much from him.

That being said, her parents, especially her mom, seem delusional. Her mom wants everything to remain the same when that's just not realistic. She thinks Lilliana is the perfect child when I bet she never even had a genuine conversation with her about how she was feeling. I only assume this because of Lilliana's scars. There was something deeper going on there.

✰ plot
I know a few stories where the main character gets amnesia, but I truly believe that you're making this plot entirely your own. It's always interesting to see the pieces come together as we try to find out what this person must have been like before they got amnesia.

✰ pacing
The pacing is good. The way you introduced the characters didn't feel rushed at all.

✰ grammar/language
I did spot a few errors here and there. This can easily be fixed by just going back and re-reading the story. Like these paragraphs:

I felt like the flow here felt a bit rigid. The second sentence of the first paragraph could be re-written as:

As I lifted it, each strand glistened under the light that came from above, which made them nearly invisible as they fell back into place.

The second sentence in the second paragraph could also be re-written as:

Ocean-like eyes stared back at me and in an instant, I was lost in them.

Just suggestions!

There was also a word missing in this paragraph:

My advice is to make sure to proofread each chapter before publishing them.

I do think you had wonderful descriptions! Great imagery too.

✰ overall thoughts
Overall, I think your story has great potential! Going back and editing those few things will help enhance your story even more. [Spoiler] My theory is that Lilliana was the one who died and Maise's soul is the one in Lilliana's body. Just a crazy conspiracy theory though, lol! I'll continue supporting you in all of your writing endeavors! Keep it up!

✎ . . . .

Happy writing!