"You sure will not spending the rest of the holiday with us?" he whined as he watch her packing her belonging back into the suitcase.

"You know, I had to go." She softly said while one in a time checking on her phone make him frown.

"Come on, doll. Macaw is cool. We will have our good time there." He still keen on his opinion and try to take her shirt back but she hit his hand before he can do it.

"Nope. Go away. Don't disturb me." She said sternly and then zipping her suitcase, done. "Anyway, we will meet again in few days, Seoul." She then motioning to check her phone again when he hardly pulling her hand and she lost her balance. She fall, on his chest.

"I'll miss you." He then buried his face on her chest not minding the hard thumping inside her crib. "Please don't leave."

"You know I can't."

"Or may I go with you." He insist make her sigh.

"It's personal issue."

"So?"

"So-" she talked but need sometimes to think. "You are not that important to be the part of my personal issue. yet."

There is a long silence after she said that words, it might hurts his feeling, but she doesn't care. Its true that she had soft spot, a little one for him. But it doesn't mean he is innocence after all what had happened. Sin is a sin.

"I can't believe you still act all bitchy after what we had through." He said softly more like a weak whisper. And there her hand reaching for his hair, caressing it gently as she smiles.

"Bare with it."

--

"You sure you don't need our company with you?" Namjoon oppa said after hugging me and I smile while shaking my head.

"I am a grown up woman, I am more than what you see." I said act tough. But then Jennie unnie slap my hand make me flinching.

"You'll gonna call me as soon as you arrived, arasseo?" she said almost crying and I hug her.

"Ne, unnie-nim." I said playfully and releasing her, looking at the girls and boys uneasy face I smile.

"I'll be okay, I'll be back and have fun in Macaw." I said before taking my suitcase and walk toward the gate.

It must be good to be able to visit Macaw, but I had to go. I want to see her, Yuqi.

 Yeah, it's been years since she gone. And I promise to myself to visiting her annually because I couldn't be there when she needs me the most. I will mourn and scolding myself on her grave, I will punish myself and reminding myself why I should shutting down my feeling.

"Doll." Almost reaching the gates I look back when I heard his voice. And I frowned watching at his messy hair and breathless him standing while holding his knee. Looking at my wrist to check the time, I walk back when I still have 20 minutes left.

"You said you won't go, Jeon." I mock him when I approaching him, I am on the waiting chair beside him, and he sat with me while the others reluctantly walking away, leaving the two of us alone.

"Like you ever care of what I said." He said still breathless.

"Well, you got the point." I said still giggling over his state now. "You are in a mess." I said trying to combing his hair but he quickly catch my hand and holding it.

"I'll wait in Seoul." He said, promising the thing that obviously will happen, but I nodded anyway. I need to take care of this needy guy so he wont tailing me straight to Beijing. "I will taking care of my hormones." And it successfully make me laughing hard while he still holding my hand.

My face flushed red when he kill the space between our face and suddenly, he kissed me, on the lips.

"So take care of yourself, okay." He said while smiling sweetly as if I am the cause of his happiness. Oh gosh, what's on your mind Lis. A man like him won't know what's the value of happiness.

"Don't smile like that." I said when my heart turn to cold again, he frowned and it faded away, his smiles faded away. "I am afraid that pretty smile will turn into tears."

--

Yuqi,
How are you?
I wish you are good upthere.
And I am sorry that I did this.
I only want to see how cold his heart is.
But seems he is not that hard to get.
Now I know his limits.

I'll end this all.

I'll just let him go.

Yuqi.
I miss you.

--

From : Jungkook
I miss you.

Seen, 7.07 pm.

--

"I am glad that you come, Lily." I smile when Yuqi's great grandma talking to me after our dinner with her big family. "Yuqi must be really happy that you are here."

"I don't think so, grandma." I said softly looking at her face, how many wrinkles on her face but it can't hide the beauty of her. She must be a pretty bitch back then, her face resemble with Yuqi's sometimes. And it makes me wonder, will Yuqi looking like grandma if only she could live longer beside me.

"What do you mean? She loves you, you know." She said and then she look straight at the infinity. "When we were on phone she can't stop talking about you, she adores you."

I chuckled and look at my shoes, shy.

"She idolized you so much and wishing that someday she will be like you."

"I am a bad girl, grandma." I cut her words and she smile in knowledge.

"You are not, in her eyes, you are someone that she want to live as. Brave and bold."

"She is just too kind, that's why everyone took advantage of her and-"

"Lily." I almost exploded with anger until grandma holding my hand and ask me to calm down.

"I am sorry, grandma."

"No, it's okay. You have the right to be angry. What's his name again, Lily?" she asked, yeah, she knows. I collapsed when I went to Yuqi's funeral. I can't think straight and keep saying that that's all my fault that she is gone.

I cant take the feeling of lost. We dream to live together once we got into university. She said it will be an amazing life for the two of us. But before all the dream nearing to become true, the reality hit us.

How terrible that even the sweetest dream must face the morning.

I had no one to talk about her, but grandma. She has weak body but strong heart. She could contained everything I had told her about Yuqi. Everything.

"Jungkook." I hissed try to not throwing the glass on the table in front of me to the wall. I don't want to be breaking alone, even if it's only a glass, I need something to break along with me.

"Jeon Jungkook."

--

"Is it feel good, Jennie unnie?"

"What's good?"

"Falling in love."

"Of course it did." She smiles. "It felt warm. Don't you feel warm when you think about Jungkook?"

"It must be winter in my heart, unnie." She said innocently make the other girl frowned and anticipating, giving space between them, wider in each time.

"There is nothing warm in there at all."