029:

I made it back fairly quickly, and the guys were all still over at my house, and what were they doing? Were they discussing experience or skill or talent needed to start a production company? Were they scouting the rooms to see which would or could be easily remodeled into studio space, or talking about exactly what equipment they would have to buy?

No, they were looking at photo albums on the floor in the den. And Felicity was systematically unloading the shelves beneath the entertainment center of all their DVD's.

I stood in the doorway watching them.

Are you kidding?

Four grown men on a mission--- a purposeful mission I might add. And they are sitting and laying cross-legged on the floor looking at my family and personal scrapbooks. Rafe glanced up---- he shut the book he'd been perusing and smiled as if he'd been caught at something. But I could tell he wasn't sure if this was something I would feel was an invasion of privacy or if it was okay. He hopped up.

The rest of them had no such qualms.

"Hey, Aubrey! Come look at this! This is you as a little kid! You with your dad, waterskiing. This is your Mom and Dad's wedding, they got married in the Salt Lake Temple."

"Really?" I clapped my hands for joy. "That's really something, guys!"

They looked a bit sheepish and then settled back to the fascinating drama that was my mom's amazing scrapbooks. Her books were bound--- and had either been given to me as gifts, or I'd purchased them when I moved out. I loved looking at them too. There was a whole life worth of experiences before I ever came along, and I'd be plumb out of the loop if I didn't have this photo documentary of their lives so I could relate when they told all their gazillion stories.

I noticed that the book Rafe had been looking at was not one of my mom's, but one of mine. Of course, we kids often kept our own. We were all shutterbugs and very often exchanged yearly scrapbook Christmas albums of our lives. It made for a library of books, but it was fun also.

He would have seen things like my pets--- high school friends, events like plays I was in, recitals, and cheerleading. He'd have seen my horse, and my garden, and my cousins, and our vacations. All from my point of view, unless I borrowed pics someone else had taken. No picture taken in our family was considered private domain. If someone wanted it we always shared.

Felicity came to me and pointed at my boobs. She gave the universal sign for "up" by lifting her arms and then said loudly, amamantar.... Meaning nurse me.

Rafe's face colored. He came to her, now in my arms and explained in Spanish about the no leche. She didn't seem to care, and the reason was because she wanted comfort. Then she wanted my phone so she could look at the picture of her parents. I realized this scrapbooking thing might be making her miss her parents, and asked if she wanted to go play in the water and waves. She slid down to run out, but Rafe swung her up giggling and told her she'd have to wear a swimming suit and Aubrey had just bought her one.

We were about to go out on the sand when the front doorbell chimed--- and when I say we were about to go--- I mean we as in Rafe, Felicity, Ben, Jeff, and Mutt. And me. All of us. It seems that this family doesn't do anything alone!

The doorbell had to be answered though and lo and behold, it was the brand new Grandpa Stryker.

He pulled a very large luggage case, and a smaller one on top, and his laptop, and some other bag around his neck. Rafe leaped to help him, as did Ben, and pretty soon his stuff was ensconced in the downstairs plain white guest room and he was changed into his shorts and was heading outside with us to play in the waves.

Rafe had water toys. I hadn't realized he had a room off the garage, facing the ocean that was easily accessed from the outside, and it was full of water toys. He had a volleyball net, and poles, balls, surfboards, blow up stuff, but---- you ain't seen nothing girlfriend, he told me, pulling out this cart with these cute little neon yellow and green--- things----

"What are they?"

Rafe was his usual super excited, way too energized, elaborately zealous hyperactive self. He unzipped the bags and the guys were standing around clapping themselves on the back, taking dibs for the first one out. I'd never seen this kind of toy. It was called a water sled, and you lay on it in the water and held on to two handles near the front of it. It was like a mini jet ski. You had to wear goggles and life vests, although I noticed Jeff wasn't wearing a life vest. There were a bunch of them hanging from hooks in this room.

He called it the Seabob—world's fastest water sled.

Only one person at a time. He immediately let Jeff and Mutt have at it, while he got another cart, this one with electric power surfboards. He said that he would take Felicity if she wasn't too scared, and she, of course, examining his tattoos with mild anxiety said no.

What? He was beyond words crazy with that.

Come on, Tinkerbell, he yelled and scooped her up.

But her screams split the air, so I suggested that he and Ben demonstrate the power boards, which by the way, I'd never seen. Leave it to Rafe to have whatever was the most fun stuff out there.

The Seabob guys had disappeared, you could see them surface and then go back under now and then across our horizon. I'd night surfed in Mazatlan with Rafe, and gone on the catamaran, but this was different.

They went out, and I stood on the shore with Felicity and watched for a little while. Eventually, she put her feet in, threw sand, and she and Grandpa--- who dubbed himself grandpa instantly--- waded, and played. They had a Frisbee. That was enough for now. I was itching to try one or the other of these amazing new toys.

Rafe finally got out and called to me to join him. It didn't take but a second for me to strip out of my cover up and dive in. I looked back, but although she was watching, she wasn't screaming. Her screams would have put an end to my fun, I'm afraid.

I made it to Rafe who was sitting his power board, holding the thong that kept it from running away with him, and the little jets were idling. I flipped myself on and his arms went around me--- his voice in my ear was as electrifying as the feel of buzzing power between my legs. He demonstrated all the pertinent how-to's and then slid off the back, and away I went.

Oh, the glorious feeling of surfing, but a lot faster and a lot harder, with air power you wouldn't believe. I'd surfed since I was Felicity's age--- as had every single person in my family--- so catching air and getting tumbled in the ocean wasn't foreign. But the feel of this super pumped air catcher was.

I loved it. I rode for a few minutes and then yelled for Rafe. He'd gotten his regular surfboard. He was definitely an experienced surfer as well, and I had to admire the sleek line of him standing his waves, balanced, feet far apart, shoulders hunched slightly, arms out, glistening in the late afternoon sun. It wasn't the time to be surfing--- but it wasn't not the time to be surfing. It was a perfect afternoon. Until I looked up on the sand and saw Lance--- just Lance talking to his dad.

I signaled to Rafe and the guys. But of course, they didn't see me. We needed some kind of ear bud speaker thing to talk to each other. I looked up again and Ronda and the kids were coming down to the surf. Okay--- now it was time to get out and see to my kid who might be freaked out being invaded by our usual crowd.

It was Saturday night, right?

I pulled the board up on the sand and laughing went to Felicity before the others got to her. In Spanish, I told her how fun it had been and asked if she wanted to ride out to Rafe. She did. I was thrilled.

She took my hand and we went out and she sat the power board and I pulled it out past the shore waves to the larger swells, avoiding any that might crest on her. None did, and we saw Rafe surfing, just as he saw us, and trailed his hand to steer himself out of the wave so he could join us. He pulled powerfully slicing through the water like an elegant penguin, as Felicity sat her board with her little life vest--- I was glad Rafe had little nieces around who he'd supplied with life vests so I didn't have to go back to the store. He even had goggles. She kept adjusting them, but wanted to wear them and be as cool as he was. Of course, he was just wearing his sunglasses.

He sat his board. "What are they talking about?"

"I didn't ask. But I can guess."

"Is that Ronda and the kids?"

"Yep."

"Is anyone else coming? We don't have anything to eat here."

"We can order pizza. It's a pizza kind of night." I turned to Felicity and asked her if she liked pizza, and it didn't take two explanations to see that she did.

Rafe asked her if she wanted him or me to take her for a ride and she pointed of course, at him. I would have thought by now that my chest was the magic draw, but no--- That crazy tattooed chest and those sleek muscles that made my thighs tense every time--- dang!

I conceded that she should ride with him and I paddled the non-power board back into the waves for a couple of rides before pulling it up on shore and getting to Ronda and the phone, I ordered the pizza.

"Oh my gosh, is that her? Is that Felicity?" Ronda's eyes were excited.

"Yes!" I ran to her, feeling this closer friendship than I'd ever felt before.

"How is she doing?" We hugged and I peeked at Alyce who was asleep in the sling carrier her mom wore strapped around her like a little cocoon. I felt that funny pang of loneliness for my own baby--- and the sling I wasn't going to wear this year or anytime soon.

"She has her moments." I laughed conspiratorially, pushing the pain of loss away firmly, as I told her about the screaming and the grocery store. We talked for a few minutes, and then got the patio chairs and towels for when the guys got out. I noted that Lance and Fred were still talking. They'd moved further up the beach away from the little kids who had brought trucks and stuff to play in the sand.

"You know Aubrey, you're so good for him. Look at him out there behaving just like a daddy. It's so good to see him finally settling into something he loves."

I eyed her carefully. "Me or the kid?" I laughed.

"Oh, he'll be a great dad, but you--- you have tamed Tarzan."

I laughed again, wrapping in my towel, and digging my feet in the sand. "I guess he was pretty wild before."

"He went from one woman to the next. Insatiable. Insecure." She said staring out to sea, and the guys out surfing.

"He once told me he thought that love and trust and fidelity couldn't exist. He's lost so many times, he is afraid to let himself believe."

"Yeah, you can see that he's starting to get through that though. You've given him that security. I think right before he met you, him and Troy were heading down a bad path. Violent and angry."

"Ronda, what happened to Troy?" I asked, my eyes peeled now for Rafe and Felicity, hoping to get this answer to my questions before they came back up.

"He was killed in a car accident. He was drunk."

"I thought he'd started changing his life, getting back to the church and stuff?"

She shrugged. "He had started maybe.... But he wasn't committed to his course, he had slip ups. One too many. The guys were and are still devastated."

"There are no pictures of Troy and on the album covers, he's always in the background. It's hard for me to get a real sense of him."

"Oh, yeah. He was the mysterious one. He was Rafe's foil."

"Rafe was the loud, out there, front man---- with the mysterious tootsie roll center, and Troy was the mysterious exterior with the----." I was going to say mysterious inside as well, but Ronda laughed.

She waved her hand. "Troy was really a big baby. He liked the attention. He was normal--- so normal really. I think that made him want to stand out. As you can see in this band--- it's all about Rafe."

"Does that--- bug the other guys?"

"Sometimes."

"In what way?"

"Oh, like they get interviews and Rafe is talking all the time, as if no one else even knows how to talk. Sometimes it seems like he was on the journey alone."

"But on tour, they all kind of talked." Now that I thought about it Rafe did take the front position, even to the point of exclusion occasionally. I still felt defensive of him.

"Really? I think mostly they like it this way. Loudmouth talks all the time, and they don't have to. They are great musicians, but get them in an interview and they laugh and grunt like cavemen. Haven't you seen that?"

I had seen that.

A nice looking lady with long blonde hair and a cute one piece beach cover up was coming around the side of the house, carrying food and two little boys. I jumped up and went to her smiling, and introducing myself. I didn't know who she was. I wondered if she was lost.

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