Fort Rosewood on the Flathead. That's our family affectionate name for where we grew up. Leave it to dad to build a level nine secure facility to house his enormous family in case of any and all contingencies.

There had been kidnappings, witness protections, rape, beatings, death, all kinds--- and I mean all kinds of calamities. My mom figures our family is simply accident prone. She takes it all in stride now--- doesn't pass out, doesn't go crazy and is always there to pick up the pieces when the rest of us fall apart.

And so is Kell.

After the funeral I took an indefinite leave of absence. It has occurred to me that I might really--- really be in the wrong profession.

And Kell was the first one to voice what I had already been thinking.

After the funeral, here at Rosewood, after about a week, everybody cleared out. You're talking hundreds of people. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, siblings, nieces and nephews, grandpa's and grandma.... the grandparents siblings, and cousins. We have these major family reunions in New York with my dad's family every couple of years, and there are about two hundred or more that come to that... maybe three. I don't know. I honestly don't know. And then the Crandalls. They represent another fifty or sixty. And the McCaffrey's and the Harthon's, and General Colby, and yeah---- we have far too many people in our family. You just can't know them all, and if you do know them all by name, then you can't know them all intimately.

I kept to myself.

My room was never in the teen wing. I am the baby of the family. Yes, the absolute baby. I am the youngest of twenty-five. I am it. So I never had to move my room. I just kept it. And it is in the main house, not the teen wing. Never got that privilege. Never had the need.

And that's where Kell found me. I was sitting on my bed. A rose colored bedspread with giant yellow flowers and black ladybugs. I made it when I was seventeen. One could say now it is ghastly. But I am rarely here, so I don't care. This room is deserted as is my life.

I sat there, for hours. Staring at the way the pool water reflected on my ceiling from the window to my left. And I really stared.

Kell was just there one moment. I am not in a stupor, and I am not in shock. I am just... done.

I looked up at him and tried on a fake smile. It didn't work, so I turned away and crossed my hands over my knees.

Kell shut the bedroom door, looked around at the rather bland and unlived in bedroom--- my dollies on the shelves, Lego houses on other shelves, artwork on the walls, my nick nacks all around, and frames of teenage happenings on another shelf. It was all very organized. I'd dusted twice since I'd been home, and got rid of the bean bag chairs that were leaking, and some of the stupider stuffed animals.

He cleared his throat. I rolled my eyes.

"Ashlyn is what three years older than you?"

I looked at him and didn't answer. I know he knew that information very well. He kept track of everything family.

"Has it been that long since I had to come make omelets for the mentally disabled?"

I blew out my breath. "Do you make omelets?"

He walked into the room, his presence filling it in waves of unbelievable charisma. I told you besides my dad, Rafe and Kell had the most charisma I'd ever seen.

"I do." He walked to one of my shelves and picked up a particularly well dressed Barbie. He actually looked up her skirt and nodded because there were panties on her. All Barbie's in Kell's house had to wear underclothes or he'd throw them out. It was a well-known fact. His girls kept their Barbie's dressed.

Let me describe the Kell I am seeing right now. He was wearing dress pants, and dress shoes. His hair... dark burnt blondish brown... his smart goatee and mustache... his warm dark brown eyes, with the spider leg lashes... his brows that curved up as if he plucked them to look concerned every day. He was built. I think he was forty at his last birthday and he was very well built. But you'd never know. He played so many differing parts on the screen that you couldn't pin point him in any stereotype at all. Except he had a penchant for working with a certain director whenever he got a chance. His light blue button down, open at the chest revealed a silver chain around his neck and he frankly--- had a very nice neck.

His lips are the most expressive thing on him. They are pale, matching his skin... and most of the time he manages to look Latino, or Native American, or even Spanish. He is actually none of those things. He is Dutch. And his name means local lunatic.

And he is. The local lunatic. No doubt about it.

He has shot himself across a canyon with rockets, he has burned up a car on a bet, gone hang gliding off the Hoover dam, jumped two cars on his motocross bike, and continues to do skateboard stunts you would not believe. He isn't the tallest, the strongest, the broadest or the smartest--- but he holds the record on taking dares in the family, and is absolutely the most fearless.

And he fancies himself the family problem solver.

We won't get into that. I knew what he was and why he was here, and I know there is nothing he can do for me.

"Mom says you took a leave of absence."

"Word travels fast."

"Indefinite leave of absence?"

"I don't really know, Kell, why do you ask?"

He gave me that under the arm pit look as he examined my next best Barbie.

"It has been.... so long since my services were needed. I am rusty."

I nodded. "Don't worry about it. I am not suicidal. I have not endured any kind of personal terrible emotional breakdown. I am just taking a break."

"Your schedule--- from what Mom says--- was grueling. Your last night home was three months ago."

"A cat got locked in my house for two or three days once." I agreed.

"And this is the life you imagined for yourself?" My third best Barbie just went flying over his shoulder with a snort. I had to lean far off the bed to save her from instant annihilation.

"No. It isn't, Kell. But saving some people would have been nice."

"You don't save people?"

"I kill more than I save."

He turned and faced the room, looking for something else to examine. I happened to be hitting at a time when his hair was short, but I'd seen it very long, and in dreads, and shaved, and all kinds of other weird ways. He was such a chameleon.

He was nodding. "Kill more than you save, eh?"

I wrapped my arms around my knees again, and put my chin on top.

"Are you going to kill me?"

"Not today."

"Maille?" (His wife)

"Nope."

"Any of our kids?"

"Nope." I looked stricken and then buried my face in my knees. "At least I hope not."

He drew in his breath and it sounded very much like a train whistle. I wondered if that was a sinus related issue or if he did that on purpose. I did not look up again.

"Three months ago you went on a date." He said and my tears that were almost leaking, suddenly sprouted, and I had to wipe them. How the heck did he know that? I hadn't told anybody. How could he possibly know that?

He had my attention, even though I refused to look up. He knew it.

"I shall recount it for you. You went to Venice beach, rode the Ferris Wheel, had dinner, shopped, did some artwork, tootled around----" I stopped listening, of course, Kira and Ally had told him.

"Yeah, so what. It was my last date. Been kinda busy killing people since then."

"You think our nieces told me, and you would be right to assume that, except they did not tell me, and I had to fish it out of them after the fact which was very annoying to me."

I had to look up. "Fish it out of them?"

"After the fact." He looked extremely affronted. "Aubrey. I. Am. The. Big. Brother."

I let him have my doe eyed expression. "And?"

"I should have been the first to know, not find out about it from your lover who is pining away in his stupid multi-million dollar club without your phone number, and no way to get it from your work places or from Fort Rosewood operatives."

I loved the way he talked about the family as his operatives or spies. He always had. And they never did. Cracked me up.

But the pertinent question was how did he meet up with Rafe?

He glanced at me, working it out in my little pea brain--- and then rolled his eyes. "Must I deliver it all to you on a silver platter?"

"Rafe told you?"

"He is leaving for his tour of South America. He saw me at his club in LA. He asked about you. Not because he is your lover, but casually, as if I couldn't figure out his interest in you on my own, thought he was being covert. He has nothing on my expert sleuthing skills."

"You told him I'm a really busy surgeon, out killing other people's children, and can't come home?"

"Yes, I told him that, yes."

"I left my number on a sticky note on his back door. If he'd been really serious about me, he'd have called."

"He had no such number."

"He was lying. I left it on his back window."

"And you do not deny being his lover? For how long?"

"I am not his lover. And we had one weekend, a weekend mind you he used me to distract him from his very recent loss."

"And whom did he lose?"

"He said his best friend."

"And you did not find out details? Go to the funeral with him? Make sure he was all right?"

"It was a casual fling, Kell, nothing more. I've relegated it to my past." Which was an outright lie and I knew it. There wasn't a day gone by that his face didn't pop up into my thoughts at one point or another.

Kell sucked in his breath.

I looked up at him.

He wagged a finger in my face.

"All right. I care for him. But he--- he was--- more than I can handle. And I am unsuited to a relationship. I am gone, as you know-- far too long."

"Aubrey---" He paused for sincere dramatic effect and then plunged in like he was taking an Olympic dive. "I will tell you this. You are in the wrong profession. You have played doctor too long now. It is time to find something else you enjoy."

I swallowed hard, hearing my own self-examination coming out of his mouth.

But I had to protest. "I am just beginning my practice."

"It is taking a toll on you."

"What toll?"

"You are haggard, unlively--- you are bristly, woebegone."

His words---- did he just call me woebegone? Really? "Was that unlovely or unlively?"

"You are a sleep walker. Your life is passing you by. Enough of the doctor. Become the woman."

My eyes were tear filling really fast, and his were frank and enigmatic, stern if you thought about it.

"I am an incredible surgeon."

"I know you are."

"I have been to thirteen years of school. I am certified in two specialties you can't even pronounce."

"I have his phone number." He held up his phone.

I blew out my breath and hid my face.

He came over to the bed. "If I thought for one second that hugs and kisses, hair braids and omelets would sooth and heal you, Aubrey, I would do those things. If I thought that buying you presents, or puppies, or houses even would help you, I would do it I a heartbeat. But that isn't what you need."

"And you would know what I need...."

He snorted. "You think I don't know you."

"You don't. I've been gone too long. I live a different life now."

"You are wrong."

"Excuse me?"

He held up his phone. "I know where you are every day." He pressed a few buttons and a calendar came up. I leaned forward as he held it for me to see. It was my schedule. He swiped another page. It was my educational test scores, my graduation requirements and accomplishments. He swiped another page. My bank accounts were listed, and I gasped, and then remembered that we shared the same accountant, and signed a waver that dad had access. If dad did then Kell did. It was as simple and as given as that. And yet another swipe, and this time I really gasped. It was a picture---

I grabbed the phone and stared. It was my house, inside my house. It was me... cooking inside my house.

I did have hidden cameras. I guess he could have hacked them.

I wanted to feel invaded, but I couldn't. I knew this Kell, the one who loved me so much he was willing to make sure I was living life and not just moving through it.

"You will spend another week here.... moping and feeling sorry for yourself--- allowing yourself to place blame where it doesn't belong. Then you will go up to the counselors and get yourself a few sessions. Then... " He cocked his head.

"Yeah? While you micromanage my life? What else?"

"You will contact ABCSC and secure a position on their staff. And this fall.... you will try out for reality TV."

I threw myself back on my bed and howled. "Right!" Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I kicked my feet in hilarity.

"I don't see what is funny. I. Am. The. Big. Brother. I know what is best."

"You have no idea."

"I have thought about this long and hard."

"Well, auditioning for a TV show--- singing--- Kell--- that's just not me!"

"I look at you and I see a young Madonna."

"Oh for pity's sake. I am nothing like Madonna."

"I see a young Marilyn."

"Who?"

"Monroe. Marilyn Monroe."

"You see me as a sex symbol?"

"You are a very sexy woman, Aubrey."

I stared at him with my mouth in drop down fishy position, my eyes following suit.

"Does hearing the truth make you embarrassed? You have industry in your blood."

"I will not throw away thirteen years of medical school to go play sing and dance girl."

"I did not say you will win it. I did not say you will continue in music. But I am saying you will take this year off, become a midwife only and have some fun in a different way."

"Oh ho, you want me to catch his attention again, don't you? What did he say to you?"

Kell considered me and then sighed. "He sought me out, of course. He asked if I was married to Maille, which I am--- " He rubbed his fingernails on his lapel after blowing on them. "And he asked if I knew you."

"And?"

"I do know you."

"So you've proven. And?"

He eyed me carefully. "I deduced the rest for myself."

"You did not."

"Really?" He pressed some more buttons. "You have not seen his latest music video have you?" he showed it to me. It was Rafe, and the band, but mostly Rafe, sitting on the beach, Venice Beach, at night, in the dark, in the dancing light of a bonfire, but this time he got up and walked into the silvery moonlight singing:

"I want to fall into the ocean, be swallowed up in you, like the tides and the moon, love is cheesy. Cotton Candy, yeah, If I fall with you it'll be forever, forever, forever...."

I was in shock. I sat there, staring at Kell's phone.

"He wrote this for you." He said very low, and my eyes rose to meet his.

"The guy has about a million girlfriends." I tried to blow it off but I was really overwhelmed.

"Apparently not." Kell put his phone away in his back pocket and turned to leave the room. "His lyrics--- it'll be forever... I believe him. You made a lasting impression, but what will you do to keep your man?"

I drew in my breath sharply. "You're asking me to give up being a doctor, for this--- for a rock star?"

"Is there something wrong with being a rock star, love?"

How could I ever think there was anything wrong with being a rock star? But what about me? I'd put my whole heart and soul into medicine. It would be more than a waste to stop--- ever.

I hung my head. "I appreciate your care, Kell. It means the world to me, it really does, but just so you know. Next week I will be back to work, and the week after that too. I may kill people's kids for a living, but it's worth it when one of them survives."

He eyed me surreptitiously. "Kill is a hard word, love."

"You know what I mean."

"I do, but kill is a hard word."

I bowed my head. Kell left and I was surprised. I'd heard all the stories about Kell coming barging in rescuing different sisters... especially Gavin's wife, little Amy. He'd helped Ashlyn get back on track, he'd saved Braylyn's life. And Maille. and Melia...

I couldn't think about him anymore. Not for any reason. And it wasn't in me to be hurt that he hadn't told me anything helpful. Throw away my education? Obviously he had no idea how hard I'd worked.

*****

Author's note:

So--- I love Kell. He's this amazing character, and he surfaces in a lot of my stories. There is one all about him that I haven't got out there, but just suffice it to say that Kell might be my favorite character. He's not a huge part of Rafe and Aubrey's life, but he's there when you need him.

So, I know this post was longer. I hope that's okay. It felt weird to break it up into two segments.