148: Aubrey

I visibly started. "Excuse me?"

"One of those controversial subjects we haven't yet conquered."

"Om, I think there's a controversial subject downstairs that we need to conquer."

"No, there's not. Animal testing." We arrived at the elevator, this time with Ben, Jeremy and Levi following. Jeff had gone back to his room.

"Mice." I said quickly. "Who are those women?"

"Not monkeys?" He answered pressing the ground floor button. "Just women. Models."

"No, not monkeys." I snapped. I pressed the hold button. "Models that you are familiar with? Intimate with?"

Ben grunted. "That was a different life, Aubrey."

"Tell me now, or I'll Google it." I said firmly. "I'm not going to be caught off guard when I'm feeling like this, and be lambasted my some super model you used to date. Is this going to be a problem?"

Rafe glanced at me. "I dated Camilla Solberg ten years ago."

"Which one was she? Were you engaged?"

Ben snorted again. "Stop snorting." I snapped at him and he laughed outright.

"The tall one. No, we weren't engaged."

"They were all tall." I looked back and forth from Rafe to Ben. "But you slept with her? For how long? Do you still have feelings for her? Is she going to be excited to see you here?"

Ben started howling with laughter and then calmed, pressed the button to go on, and snorted again to himself, studiously avoiding looking at me or anyone else.

"I slept with her. For three years exclusively. I don't have feelings for her currently, and I have no idea if she'll even care if I'm here."

The elevator doors opened and I started to prance by my obviously flustered fiancé, wearing my yucky rumpled yoga costume, no makeup and messy hair, eyes and cheek scabbed with scratches, only to run smack into the models--- of course!

"Rafe!" A lovely feminine voice brushed past me, brushed past Ben, Jeremy and Levi, and in genuine joy, kissed Rafe full on the lips.

I gave her one turn around, because there were three more waiting to board the elevator. She had perfectly shaped limbs, she was at least six feet, and her body was---- incredible to say the least. Her facial features were less gorgeous than exotic, sultry--- intimidating. Long perfectly coifed and shaped dark brown hair, with golden high lights, nearly black winged brows, piercing fake green eyes, over sucked in hollow cheek bones--- like a cheetah--- or a--- I turned and flounced away to the rec room--- a monkey.

"You have nothing to worry about, Aubrey, he doesn't even care about her the way he cares about you." Ben tried to take my arm. I turned back once more---

"Right." I perfected the annoyed look of disbelief and jerked my head in Rafe's direction where he was grinning widely, while enjoying being draped on by her royal highness the green eyed queen model.

"She's an Elite Forum model, isn't she?"

"I think we just saw the Elite Forum Angels checking in." Levi added, not taking his eyes off the distinctly incredible women.

"And Camilla is his favorite." I snapped.

Ben burst out laughing and pulled me around the corner out of sight of the elevator. "That one's not Camilla, babe, that's America Rolvsson from Brazil." I stopped dead in my tracks.

"That's not the one he dated? That's not an old friend? Former girlfriend?"

Ben shook his head. "Nope. That's the more recent girlfriend that he left Camilla for."

I closed my eyes. My reaction was ridiculous. Rafe had never been less than honest about his former entanglements. I shouldn't feel threatened in any way, and I never had before, but suddenly the jealous monster rode my shoulder like a parrot whispering Polly want a Cracker?

Rafe came around the corner at a trot, looking red in the cheeks, with his lips literally smeared with bright freaking red lipstick. I saw Ben and Jeremy run their fingers over their lips in signal to wipe it off, but Rafe didn't notice them.

"Sorry about that." He swallowed, blowing it off, he tried to turn me toward the gym area. I stood rooted in place. "Aubrey, it was just an old acquaintance. How about that animal testing?"

"How about Assisted Suicide?" I rolled my shoulders, and let my skeptical look raise my eye brows.

Ben, Jeremy and Levi all howled with laughter.

"I'm sorry." I said at his hurt expression. "But that was no casual acquaintance. You knew her and you knew her well." I used my towel to wipe his lips, and showed him the red smear.

"Oh, God, Aubrey, look, I didn't know she'd do that. The last time I saw her she was kissing some other guy in my bed. Damn. This is awkward. But you have to believe me---."

"I so believe you." I simpered. "I believe she really enjoyed your time together with her, and wouldn't mind enjoying you some more."

"Well, that's not ever going to happen. She said she is engaged as well, and she wants to meet you. We can have dinner together tomorrow. She's coming to the concert tonight, her and the others of course." He could see by my expression I wasn't thrilled at the ideas he was presenting.

"She really kissed you." I accused.

"Sorry. She caught me by surprise."

"You about decked a guy for touching my hair."

He laughed outright and held the door to the gym for me. "Aubrey, you are my only love. There never was and never will be anyone else."

I shrugged. "I believe you. I just don't think she would believe you. Oh and by the way--- what did you say her name was? Camilla?"

Rafe closed his eyes in defeat. "Don't be one of those jealous girls that puts her man through hell trying to prove his innocence and devotion."

"I have never had the occasion to be jealous before, so I have no idea what I will be like. And you can spend your whole life trying to prove your innocence, and devotion for all I care." I flounced past him to find a spot on a mat and begin the warm up. We were all going to be quite stiff, I thought.

****

I was thirsty. We hadn't spoken. I went for another bottled water in a pack Anita had brought. Rafe was still stretching on the floor. Avoiding me, I surmised.

I thought about running into one of his old girlfriends. I thought about running into two. It was likely to happen, now and then. I felt stupid for making a big deal out of it. But she had kissed him.

Kissed him! He wasn't free to kiss anymore.

But in her defense, she hadn't known that. She probably thought I was the hired help, if she even saw me at all. And I had once read an article about when you run into the old flame.

Number one thing to do: don't act weird.

Well, I'd blown that one.

I looked over at him on the floor. How did he manage to look so good no matter what time of day it was and what he'd been through the day and night before? I thought about the day we'd fought in Montana... the morning we'd gone to Loula's and then out to Whitefish Beach in the almost snowstorm. He'd mentioned then that he had a hard time showing emotion, real feelings. I guess after spending literally every day and night with him for over a month, I agreed. He did his best to stay open with me, but his natural inclination was to slip into denial, and self-sabotage.

Rafe looked up and smiled. I swallowed--- my pride. "Did Ben say what time we had to be ready for the volcano?"

Rafe pursed his lips. He glanced at his watch. It was just after nine. "He said the tour bus leaves at nine-thirty. We'd have to get changed quick. Are you still wanting to do it?"

"And spend the day attached to my baby? Yes, sir." I quipped. He tried on a reluctant smile and stood up.

"You sure I'm your baby?"

"Rafe, I'm sorry. It was a bad reaction." I went to him but didn't touch him. He looked closed off and a little forbidding.

"I told you once you should hear about the old girlfriends. You didn't take me up on it." We started walking out of the gym. Camilla, America and their friends were all just entering. A coincidence?

I stopped in the doorway. I decided to put my big girl panties on. "I'm sorry we didn't meet earlier. I didn't realize you two knew each other till I was already down here. But I'm Aubrey Mann, Rafe's fiancé." I held out my hand to shake, a very American thing to do.

"We have to catch a tour bus." Rafe urged me along as Camilla and America exchanged glances and tried to engage us in conversation. But they didn't attempt to shake my hand. Now Rafe was the one being a little rude. "We'll see you tomorrow." He called back over his shoulder.

"What about the concert, Cherie?" One of the two called after him and Rafe simply ignored her, which I thought was totally rude. And it made me very happy.

We didn't talk till we were in the van heading out of the city. Rafe's arm was around me, his neck pillow around his neck, and his other hand in his lap and holding my fingers. I rubbed his absently, not knowing if I wanted to bring up the subject of old girlfriends now, but apparently after a few minutes, he did.

"Aubrey." He sighed, keeping his eyes closed. "I've never felt about anybody the way I feel about you."

"I know, baby." I said helpfully. "The feeling is mutual."

"I know. So that's why you can't be threatened by meeting up with bimbos like Camilla and America. They mean nothing to me, former acquaintances. That's all."

"Who you slept with." I wished I hadn't said that the instant it came out. He sighed and rubbed my fingers now.

"I knew this was going to happen." He said and closed his eyes.

"No----." I felt stupid. "I'm sorry. It doesn't matter."

He swallowed hard. "It does matter. To you, to God, to me. It does matter."

"Rafe, please forget it. Like you said, this isn't a big deal. I'm sorry I said that."

"But you feel funny knowing I slept with them. You like to picture me like yourself, don't you? You think we're discovering this for the first time. Together. You can't help it."

I found my throat choked up and my lips bit too hard.

"It wasn't like you and me. Them... they were freaking good lays. That's it. We had sex."

I breathed long and slow. "I know."

He blinked tolerantly. "I don't think you can know. You're a virgin, and you don't think that way. It's easier for me to think your way than it is for you to think mine. But even then--- it's not easy for either of us--- and won't be--- always----."

"We have pretty good honest communication."

"Yep. We got that going for us, usually, but sex is a weird topic after--- well, after you're in a relationship. Things change. Please believe me, honey. I want it to be good for you, no unwanted intrusions from former girlfriends."

"I know, right."

He closed his eyes again, "Just hold me. Be with me. Love me, Aubrey, today, love me."

I lay my head against his shoulder, kissed his neck, closed my eyes and felt the tears squeeze into the rims. If I blinked they'd fall. It was a long two hour drive to the Ixtaccihuatl Volcano. Rafe was emotionally strung out from yesterday, we all were. Maybe we just had to let the old girlfriends go.

Ben was his typical excited self. This meant he got out of the van first. The base of the mountain was already close to twelve thousand feet. They had gear for us--- warm clothes, hiking boots, sticks, hard hats in some cases. There was snow on the peak-- even glaciers, I was told. The trail was about 80 feet from the parking lot at La Joya, and there was a hut here for those who had already been hiking to rest. A few people were inside. More cars were parked in the makeshift parking lot.

"It's a three hour intermediate hike." Ben told us, and I know we both looked skeptical. Was today really the day for this? I gazed up at the "Sleeping Woman". You could no longer see her outline as you did when we were driving toward her. The ridge we were to hike was stark and barren, unlike the fertile valley we'd come through to get here.

But the rest of the week we'd committed to the studio, and Rafe really needed that, so yes, today was the best day for this. Our group just consisted of ourselves and our two guides. We had only one security guard, Aiden. Lunch was available--- we ate.

*******