First of all, I just want to say a huge thanks to all of you for sticking in the Games thus far. You guys really stepped up your game this time and wrote amazing entries - your best - that made me cry and have feels and everything, so fantastic job to all of you! 

jesusfreak202

-0.2 for grammar (I had a perk to ignore one aspect of the grading rubric so that makes grammar 0).

-0.1 for repetitive sentences

2 on the writing maturity scale

SCORE: 11.9

Lots of feels for Hijikata and the war. It was a lot of details about the Boshin War itself especially the research on what could have changed it or fixed the war in one stroke - really good research. If they hadn't raised the Emperor's flags at the battle, they would have won so you were right about that. There wasn't a whole lot that you did wrong either.

ariel_paiement1

-1 for being late

-0.1 for punctuation

2 on the writing maturity scale

10.9 would have been your original score, but you received a perk to have an 11.5 automatically

SCORE: 11.5

Well your entry really captured and hooked me into what was going on, so much that I couldn't stop reading to comment on things. I only saw one punctuation mistake which is highly impressince since I was looking for things. I ship Aetius and Lucia so much - AETIA or LUCIUS? Either one sounds great. It was so sad and tragic that they had to start the war. I hate Kieirth so I'm glad he's gone.

RondaRayl

-0.1 for sentence structure

-0.1 for lack of description

-0.1 for spelling

1.4 on the writing maturity scale, resulting in a 0.6 point deduction.

Originally, your score would have been 11.1 but due to an award you now scored an automatic 11.5 for handing in first last task.

SCORE: 11.5

You spent more times developing your characters personalities and their developments throughout their arcs. The fight with Richard and Jackson was a good action scene - your first so great job with it! Their dynamics between each other is getting better and I can see real improvement in your writing. Next you should work on dialogue. You don't always have to say "he or she said." Instead, you can have them move around or use other words to describe how they're saying things. Also, saying Richard had to go didn't imply that he had to go to the bathroom so it was a little confusing to read what was going on until after it was over when he escaped. I love the chief smoking his pipe and taking his time! That was a great extra deal that made your story realistic. This was your best entry by far; so many historical details and vivid descriptions and I can see your writing improving. Great job! Keep it up and I can't wait to find out what happens next because of how you left things with Richard and the others!

JesterheadJohnSnow

-0.2 for spelling

-0.4 for sentence structure

-0.5 for punctuation (because of a perk to ignore one aspect of the grading rubric, this is now 0)

-0.2 for grammar

2 on the writing maturity scale

Your original score would have been an 11.2 but you had a perk to give you an automatic score of 11.5

SCORE: 11.5

Nice intro! It hooked me into the story and was descriptive so I could picture things, but it also filled in information as I kept reading, which makes me wanna read more - good writer's tactic! Haha poor Akh but I love the banter between your characters. You're doing a great job working on their dynamics. Great details about Akh's bed. OOOH YES. Hijikata- Cheng team up! I'm so excited for this! "Is there something in the water fountain thats causing everyone to go berserk?" HAHAHA OMG HILARIOUS. XD BAH, poor Thomas. I love how insistant he is that if he can't go back to his time and change it, no one can! LOVE IT. Great job with the historical details; you included a lot more from after Toba-Fushimi which I hadn't focused on, so I'm still learning. I love the creativity with how the groups split to two different time periods during the war to find Hijikata and Cheng. "I have a bad feeling" reminds me of Star Wars. Also, all the dead bodies in the streets reminds me of Hakouki (since this is the same time period), so I'm half expecting you to include furies in your entries LOL. Your action scene was smooth without any unrealistic things or mistakes and man, was it exciting! I love how you're showing different sides to the Boshin War. BAHAHA I don't know why, but the idea of Starkad, this big hulking viking with a battleaxe just carving through samurai left and right amuses me! XD I love how you took a historical event that happened - Kondou getting shot - and literally made it something caused by one of your characters. Creative. I love how you went all the way through the war. Your scene jumps were perfectly timed and your entry was entertaining from the start. :D Cheng and Hijikata are such an epic dynamic to read (and write, lol). I have so many feels for Cheng and how strongly he fights for this era and when his companions dragged him back, it's so sad. What's even worse is they think he's insane! Poor Cheng! You did have several punctuation mistakes and sentence structure errors, which is understandable with an entry this long. Overall, I literally love this story you're writing and I can't wait to read more of it!

Sara_R_Stark

-0.3 for grammar

-0.1 for punctuation

-0.3 for spelling

1.7 on the writing maturity scale, resulting in a 0.3 point deduction

SCORE: 11

I love John and Charles' dynamic although it's sad that Charles kind of turns John into a bad boy lol. I feel terrible for the group and their grief over Peter :( It's so sad. I have a bad feeling about John trying to escape again... I feel so bad for the group since they have to go on another mission. Heiron's grief gives me so many feels but I think I'm starting to like he and Celene and where that could be going... ^^ ... Or not. MAN WHY DID YOU HAVE TO KILL HEIRON AND CELENE? Like I get that killing her and leaving him alive would have been cruel but I LOVE HERION I DON"T WANT HIM TO BE GONE. GO BACK IN TIME AND SAVE HIM! PLEASE. *sobs* Man, John went from this likeable guy that I could totally understand where he's coming from to this total villian so I need your next entry so I can see him brought to justice! You did have a few minor syntax errors but they weren't big issues and it didn't take away from your entry. You did use the word got quite a bit, so if you want to try to improve, try thinking of other words to use instead of got (I'm editing one of my books and I did this A LOT so it's been super hard, lol). I can't wait for your next entry so keep up the great work!

MusicgirlXD

-0.1 for punctuation

-0.4 for grammar

-0.3 for spelling

-0.1 for sentence structure

1.5 on the writing maturity scale, resulting in a 0.5 point deduction

SCORE: 10.6

Whoa I didn't see the twist that Inoia would try to kill Miamoto or that Eletta would kill him. Overall, this was your best written entry yet; more detailed, less mistakes. I feel like you're too insecure in your writing because you're actually really good. Your biggest issue seems to be spelling and grammar. Though the spelling could be because you might get in a hurry, but these are all simple mistakes that can easily be fixed. If you'd like more help, let me know next task. I really enjoyed reading this. Eletta's grief over Blair and really getting into Eletta's head. You showed her personality and really helped us get to know her and I love her character so far.

Several7s

-0.1 for sentence structure

-1 for being late

1.7 on the writing maturity scale, resulting in a 0.3 point deduction

SCORE: 10.6

What they had to fix in the civil war was very creative. I also always love Khenki moments especially now that she can talk! Feels for Urjak and Kjell (sorry about the spelling). I can't believe you killed all of Zoe's characters! *sobs* You had one sentence structure mistake so other than that and being late, perfect. I can't wait to read next.