First of all, seriously all of you guys have improved. I might have to toughen my scoring rubric because it's getting to be a lot of high scoring ties around here. Don't worry; I'll let you know if I do that. Also, Kyren's entry will be posted after voting because I have to include the proper deaths in there from eliminated tributes. Remember bonuses, awards and rankings will be posted next :)

Female 2: Shadow Sage Jaeyria Lightwood - 13

WOW! The action scene with the Siren was just... intense. I didn't see any mistake in the action at all. Most of what surprised me was that even in the action, nothing you said was vague. Usually, even if action scenes are correct, there are still small points or times when the action mentioned gets vague and it's difficult to tell what happened in some part or another, but not with you. Once again, I was watching a movie. It was so intense, but I seriously loved reading that from Jae's point of view. I really also enjoyed the longer interaction with Kyren... Is it wrong that I fangirled at their fight? Also, several times, his comments and Jae's thoughts about him made me laugh. Once again I was thrown into this world and everything around me faded until only this story existed. You did great with Jae's magic, and your use of vocabulary enhances your descriptions so much it's absolutely amazing. The bit that you added at the end came as a huge surprise. The way you used the anti-magic grenade was chilling. You literally not only left me in a bit of a cliff hanger, but I seriously just got the chills at how easily it was for Jae to kill them. AHHH. Honestly, when you mentioned that hers went a little passed Eiri's entry, I was expecting a scene between the two of them where she confesses her feelings toward him, but bam. You completely went the opposite direction and threw that twist at me, which was just completely shocking because I didn't see it coming (I don't know if you even meant it that way, but that's how I reacted). As for notes, I really do think that writing in third person worked way better for you and also for Jae. You were able to get inside of her head with no hesitation and give me so much more of what she was feeling. That was the best choice you made, and it really paid off. Just keep doing what you're doing!

Male 5: Healer Wizard Eiridan Stormblessed - 13

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow! Where do I even begin? First of all... your descriptions were so concise and vivid, I seriously was watching a movie in my mind! I was immediately so wrapped up into this, that nothing else existed but the story. The encounter with the mermaids, and all the race building you did, not only to them, but the Sirens as well, was just absolutely impressive. I was so wrapped up, I didn't see any grammar mistakes at all. The Siren-scene was so intense, and you included so much about Eiridan and his feelings. The encounter with Kyren was definitely.... Interesting, and once again you've done a great job portraying his character. For several minutes, I forgot that he was actually my character because of how wrapped up into this story I was. The fight scene at the end was well written, and well thought out. I also got the feels when Jae hugged Eiri after he Siren scene, and when you mentioned the pain in Kyren's eyes, I just died. ALSO.... GAAAAHHH NEW SHIP! Jaeiri!!! It's official (unless you can come up with a better ship name, haha.... Eiriyia? Or Jaeiri ?:) Anyway, all in all, it was just absolutely fantastic (you know, I'm running out of words to use when I try to explain how amazing your entries are). Seriously, I am a reader and I NEED MORE!!! As for notes, you didn't include anything with Eiridan using his magic, but I know why for several reasons: 1. Word count. 2. He's a healer, and with the story it made sense WHY you mentioned that he didn't. so because you made it fit with the story, I'm not counting off points. You did include Jae's magic, which is what I graded you on in the magic section of the rubric. As for anything else, all I have to say is I just need more! congrats on the perfect score!!

Female 7: Air Mage Aelia Zephyr - 13 

I didn't see any mistakes, and I absolutely loved her character. I don't know if you meant it to be this way (though you probably did), but she just changes like the wind. At first she didn't mind killing her magi, then when actually put in the situation, she knew she couldn't kill her friends. And the scene with Kyren, I literally just exploded with feels. She didn't kill him—no she warned him and then killed one of her friends, and she enjoyed it! Afterward she felt nothing, but I felt like you portrayed Kyren's reaction perfectly. Not only that, but then she goes to a place that's supposed to bring her peace, only she slaughters this beautiful creature and enjoys doing it, only to feel completely crushed afterward, and then bam. Feels nothing at the end.

I had so many feels you're giving me whiplash! As for notes, I saw no mistakes, nothing I would change (except maybe not breaking my heart, haha). Just keep doing what you're doing. I seriously can't wait to read more!

Male 12: Water Mage Evian Damini - 13

Well.... Let's just open this entry with a great big bag of feels then! Haha. What can I say? Another amazing entry!!!! Immediately I was hooked. You did a better job of portraying Evian's emotions in this entry, especially at the beginning. It was so raw and I really loved how realistic it was. Especially the mention of his fear, how he wasn't concerned with death, but with how easily he could kill the other magi. The mermaid scene trying to get the supplies was interesting, and I was practically holding my breath the whole time he was underwater. I love how he thought things through, and his encounter with the girl (secretly hoping it's Ashni...). You were extremely realistic with his magic levels so great job there! Your descriptions were amazing, your emotions were intense, and Evian is just AAAHHH. Love him!!! As for notes, I didn't see any grammar mistakes, so congratulations! What you can improve on, though is continue to vary your sentence structure. In the middle there were a lot of sentences that began with "he" but with the word count on this one, I get it; it's really hard! But seriously though, amazing job, and I'm DYING to read more!!!

Female 14: Warrior Sage Isanabella Spoolblac - 13

Wow, wow, wow! Can I just say that you're an amazing writer to begin with, but your writing just keeps improving? This was just amazing! I felt like I was really in Castre, and most of the time like I was just following Isanabella around behind her shoulder, observing all of this happening. It's this quality of writing that not only throws a reader into the story, but really makes the story come to life. That's what you did. Her voice is unique, making her sound and feel real. Not only that, but the voices of the other characters around. Her raw emotion, and lack of is described so well, I feel it with her. Yet its perfectly balanced between that and description. The action scene was just as equally good, so intense. I really enjoyed how Kalen's magic ended up starting a legit fire. I don't know why but most people forget the realism behind using some magic like that, so wonderful job. I also felt like you portrayed Kyren's darker side absolutely well, and it gave me the chills. The ending especially did, with how she realized they were all to filled with hate to be swayed from killing each other. It made this story feel so unique and real that it really hurt her to see them all turning on one another, and I felt like that was a good choice in making that your main focus. As for notes, I didn't see one grammar mistake, and I don't really have anything at all that I would fix. Just... amazing, amazing job!

Female 1: Shapeshifter Sage Lilja Svana - 12.9

First of all, what the heck?!?!!? Cliff hanger...... I AM DYING RIGHT NOW. Gosh dang I need the next part and I need to read it now. She just left her sister? Is Chanel dead?!?! She can't be dead.... Oh gosh...um. Okay back to judging, not fangirling. *ahem* amazing entry! It was so beautifully written... just beautiful. You're writing style is so unique and beautiful, I seriously just love reading anything you write. Lilja's feelings and emotions were so concise and your descriptions were so beautiful it was like I was right there behind her the entire time. Can I just say AAAAWWWW for the flashback? It was so cute; I grinned the entire time. I absolutely just LOVED how it ended right where you began, so not only was the beginning hooking, so was the end, and then bam. Cliff hanger that left me begging and wanting MORE! As for notes, I only saw two mistakes, and they were both typos I think. So seriously; nothing to improve other than to just write more so I can read more!!!!!

Female 3: Lightning Mage Ashni Damini - 12.9

FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I just died. SOOO much. How in the world can I be a judge when I'm trying not to cry. You are evil and yes you made me cry and yes I cried over the death of a griffin. Seriously, what is wrong with you? You can't just give a beautiful, majestic creature the most amazing name ever and then BAM. Kill him. What the heck?! I demand a refund or something... Haha. Anyway.... What can I say? Everything about this entry was perfect! Seriously only like two mistakes (you used the word her twice instead of I), but it did not pull me away from it. I was hooked, engaged and I just continued reading because I couldn't stop. The entire scene with the Xanthos the Griffin and Kyren, and the race for the supplies was intense and suspenseful, and just when I was so certain she would win, bam. Kyren gets there and challenges her.

ALSO YESSSSSSSSSS. You deserve an honors award for the PERFECT MAGIC BOSS FIGHT THING. Seriously! Unique and amazing! Not only did each attack get changed up, but you were so magically realistic about her energy levels. Not only that either but the difference in their training was SO REALISTIC AND I REALLY FELT THE DIFFERENCE. It added so much layers of depth to it that no one else has done, which makes you so unique and sets this entry apart. It really does. I don't have any notes for you at all. Other than I am extremely interested on the friendship blooming between her and Kyren (not in a ship way, because he's married, but... it's just... interesting friendship potiental). Not only that, but her character development would fit right along perfect with what I have planned for him (and I'm dying because I can't tell you). Also, on a side note, you hooked me immediately and I seriously LOVE LOVE LOVE the emotional turmoil inside of her, so keep it up!!!!!!!! I NEEEED MORE!!!! Just try not to rip my heart into shreds, please...

Male 15: Plant Mage Sigel Silverblade - 12.9

Overall, this was another amazing entry. I didn't see any grammar mistakes. The action was all super intense, leaving me on the edge of my seat. It sucks that he didn't find Telex, which really makes me eager to read Telex's. I enjoyed the encounter with Kyren, and it was nice to see his more "sadistic" side. Sigel's emotions were stronger this time, and you really gave us a glimpse into his past, as well as the way he feels. I love how Kyren's words kind of shook him up. His final decision at the end was a nice end to the entry, because I had been wondering the entire time what he was going to do. I enjoyed the vampire attack scene. I'm wondering about how Sigel can control the dead... It wasn't really explained or elaborated on much, but I'm hoping it will be explained more in the future (and I hope there's a logical connection to that and his magic). So for now, I didn't take off points for that. This was a well-balanced entry, with description and emotion, and especially development on Sigel which I really, really enjoyed. As for notes, like I said, I didn't see any mistakes. Just for future reference, it is spelled Kyren, not Kyran, which I did take off points for that. I also enjoyed the interaction and friendship with Chiara. Next entry, get creative! I'm ready for another entry that really sparks. Great job! 

Male 14: Warrior Sage Telex Silberblade - 12.8

I seriously can't tell you how much I enjoy reading your entries. Once again, I was entertained. It felt like a story not an entry, and it hooked me right away and kept me engaged. I also love the difference between Telex and Sigel, and how well developed their voices and personalities are. Telex's attitude sometimes makes me laugh. There were a few sarcastic remarks with the interactions between Telex, Kandi and Myla that seriously just made me giggle. (someone help me start a fire. I'm going to burn this" hahahaha). How he tried to take away Kandi's injury really gave me the feels, and how he's worried and looking for Sigel. Your writing style is just so beautiful it always makes for a smooth and enjoyable read. I can't wait until the brothers are reunited! As for notes, the only mistake I saw was a spelling mistake (It's Kyren not Kyran). And the fact that he was able to shoot a fire ball when he's a warrior sage not a fire mage. However, if you explained it so it made sense with his magic, then I won't count it against you next time (for now, I did take .1 point off though). For instance, because he's a warrior sage if he's using fire as a weapon, then that will work. As for what you can improve on? Just keep doing what you're doing! My advice though: you have the power to give me the feels... use it! Hahaha. I can't wait to read more!

Female 15: Shield Wizard Eriswen - 12.8

Can I just say that I'm fangirling way too hard right now other than to just scream? AAAAAH. Okay screaming over. Once again, you've written another amazing entry. You seriously took my advice! She focused way more on her energy levels, and it was so much more realistic this time, so great job! (This also greatly helped in improving your score). The reason why I was fangirling was because of the encounter with the Elves. Not only did I absolutely love your creativeness with their connection to her (half-breed, wow! Twist), but your addition with the elvish language seriously just killed me! I'm still fangirling over it. That's some amazing race-building!! The way you included jahad's map (how it was addressed in elvish and his note on the back), was soooo creative, and I loved the way you added your own little twist to it. I'm anxious to see what she does with his note... Anyway, the encounter with Kyren came as a surprise. He's my own character and even I was going, okay how'd he get there so fast? And what the heck did he do to prove himself to them (that's what I want to know, haha). As for the fight, I didn't see any mistakes at all in the action, and you added suspense by doing a count down. What was your creative unique twist to it, was adding in the elvish. I'm freaking out over here! I'm sad to say, that I was rooting for Kyren the whole time! Can't believe she beat him. But I really liked her determination and sheer will to win. As for notes, there were a few grammar mistakes, but I was so engrossed into the story I barely noticed. What you need to work on now is deepening her development as a character. Also, what you need to work on with your writing is varying your sentence structure. Overall, you did wonderful, but there were still a few instances where you began the sentence with the word "I." it wasn't enough to be repetitive in this entry, but I'm letting you know now, so you can watch out for it in the future. Overall though, impressive job! 

Female 4: Fire Mage Vala Leanour - 12.7

Overall, I really, really enjoyed this entry. There weren't too many mistakes, so it made for a smooth and easy read. I really liked the emotion in this, especially her fear at the beginning. I was immediately hooked. You also did a great job of developing her character with how rash she is—like her decision to split away from her brother. The fight with Kyren was definitely interesting. You did a great job of keeping up with the magic—both Vala's and Kyren's—and portraying them and the right elements about them too, and her energy levels. You kept it realistic. Her encounter with the phoenix's not only felt real and descriptive, but kept up with her emotion. As for notes, what you can work on is being more descriptive. While you were extremely descriptive about the castle, the chains, the pheonix's and the fight itself, you didn't really describe the environment around her as she left or ran. Outside of that, great job!

Male 7: Metal Mage Mordzar Malthus - 12.7

Overall, wow, wow, wow! You seriously took all my advice, fixed the syntax problems and made for a wonderful first entry. In just the course of one task your writing has improved so much and I love, love, love it! I'm definitely impressed! The fight and action scenes were so intense! There was so much going on, it was chaotic, and yet it was smooth to read! I only saw one grammar mistake, but it didn't take me from your entry. I was hooked, and you kept me engaged the entire time! I loved how the magi turned on each other, and yet how Mordzar still had his allies and they worked together to help each other! I liked the brief scene with the werewolves and how Mordzar knew one! Sooo unique. The scenes in the marshes was so intense! Your descriptions were so vivid I was watching a movie! I really liked how Zentra seems to be a temporary bad guy. The interactions and scenes with her were so intense; several times I was worried for Mordzar! The encounter with Kyren was PERFECT! It was brief, and yet it showed and portrayed his character perfectly. The dead spiders and scorpians, plus his one liner before he disappeared seriously made me fangirl. As for notes, like I said I only saw one grammar mistake. You didn't really include much about Mordzar's energy levels, but with the limited word count and everything going on, I understand why. I still took off 0.1 point for it though. So just keep doing what you're doing. Next entry, again try to include more emotion from Mordzar as well as more on his energy, and more of his personal story—I want to know more about him. Endear him to me. Wonderful job!

Male 9: Air Mage Morrow Endelen - 12.7 

Gaaaahhh! You're writing style is so beautiful it seriously just makes me smile every time I read anything of yours. The use of his magic was absolutely fantastic, especially keeping up with his energy levels. You have a way of describing how he uses it and what happens when he does that literally makes the magic feel real. Honestly, your descriptions, especially of the tundra, really reminded me a lot of a video game called Skyrim, and it was like I could picture everything. I was right there with him. The creative bit with the troll's poem/song was definitely so creative and wonderful to read, and the creative twist with encountering it on the bridge was also enjoyable to read. The fight with Kalen was good and intense, along with the suspense of Morrow being chased. His emotions were very clear and brought out well in the entry; you are doing so good at showing not telling. As for notes, I saw two mistakes one misplaced comma and one misspelled word which I think was a typo, but it didn't take me out of your entry. As for what you can improve on, occasionally, you get so vivid and descriptive that it almost becomes too descriptive and too vague and it makes it hard to read when focused so hard on describing one thing, and then something else isn't really thought of or focused on. Work on balancing it out. This entry was absolutely amazing, but I was just telling you for future reference and improvement :) Amazing job! 

Male 11: Gravity Mage Jaxon Steele - 12.7

I know I shouldn't have, but I laughed almost all the way through this. As I was reading, my grin never left my face. Jaxon's attitude is just... so snarky! I love snarky men! You've definitely got that on point with him. The descriptions were much more vivid, and his interaction with Kyren was interesting to say the least. I am just so happy right now because you included way more emotion from Jaxon, and it worked out so well. The idea that he wants to protect Lydora is so cute! Can I just say your creative touch with the griffin/gargoyle hybrid was just... AMAZING? I also loved his scene with the griffins. He's one of the few who actually thought through actually trying to communicate, and he's the only one to think back to what Nassia said. I think it's such a unique idea in the flashbacks, and how he squeezed the information from her (figuratively). Not to mention the cliff hanger you left me on (literally, hahaha). As for notes, there were only two mistakes, and both were spelling mistakes. I thought you did a fantastic job and there isn't anything you need to change. One small note, though, is that his energy levels. They were SO realistic in this task. Given that he used his energy to communicate with the griffins, I can understand why he was exhausted. I also love the creativeness with the fact that exerting your body physically can make you lose your energy faster! So awesome! However, in further entries, he can do a little bit more with his magic without being exhausted. He is twenty and has trained for several years, so he would be slightly more advanced than this. That being said, be careful not to go too far. It's all part of just finding the right balance, and I know you're still figuring it out, so no worries! No points were taken off, as I said, because in this entry, you portrayed his levels perfectly. I just wanted to let you know that in the future if he uses his magic and fights more, he can do a little more than what he did now and still be okay during the fight itself. Overall though, fantastic job!

Female 11: Healer Wizard Lydora - 12.7

Can I just say that Leo and Lydora are SOOOOOO CUTE!!! It's like a puppy ship... like a little sailboat, hahahaha! Leodora ! Haha, okay anyway. Once again, this was a fantastic entry. I loved her teenager-ish spunk and how well you did developing her attitude and character. She has a very strong personality (in the sense that its well developed). Not only that, but the interactions she had with other people, combined with all the events that happened in your entry made for an interesting read. I felt like you portrayed Kyren's character correctly—I still don't think he would have it inside him to immediately start slaughtering children. I loved your creative tweak with the heart trees being able to heal her, and your development with the elf race as well. You're improving on writing in this genre, and the more you do, the more creative twists you add. I absolutely loved how she found Jaxon in the end (yay he's gonna live), but then you ended me on another cliff hanger because now SHES in danger! As for notes, there was like one or two grammar mistakes, but it was nothing to bad. What I would work on is varying your sentence structure instead of starting with "I" a lot. Also, being more descriptive just in general. You're descriptions in some places are extremely detailed, like with the petals and the heart trees, but in others it's a little vague, so try to find a balance. I didn't take off points because I know with the word count it was extremely restrictive, so I understand with that! Overall though, fantastic job! Keep it up; I need more!

Male 16: Conjurer Wizard Leovarettan Maverson - 12.7

LEOOOOO!!! Haha, okay sorry; I just had to freak out for a moment. I really, really enjoyed the flashback and the glimpse into his past. It was nice how you focused more on his development than anything else. The way he sees himself just makes me feeeeellll so bad for him (and not because of his age—because of how sweet he is). You've done a fantastic job endearing him to me, and making me fall in love with his character. He's just one of those genuine underdog characters that you just have to root for. As for notes, I didn't see too many mistakes, other than a few instances where you switched tenses, but it didn't take me out of the entry at all. What you can improve on, well, this time I felt like you prolonged the time in the castle a little too long and it made things a little slow, but you took that perfect chance to develop his character, so it paid off. Your portrayal of Jahad and Kyren was amazing, especially Kyren. The way you described his darkness was so unique I just lost it with fangirling so much, haha. Wonderful job! You've made me root for him and I can't wait to read more from you :)

Female 17: Light Mage Chiara Gonzolas - 12.7

First of all, I just have to say BLOODBATH!!!!! I'm fangirling to much because most of it was because of Kyren. That was definitely freaky and enjoyable to read. I honestly felt like you portrayed his sadistic side perfectly. The bit with the earth and stuff, and her almost being crushed freaked me out because the entire scene was just so descriptive! You were so vivid I could clearly see everything, throughout the entire entry. Her interactions and team-up with Sigel was another thing that had me fangirling and I have no idea why. I'm seriously torn between wanting her to reunite with Nickolai, and saying screw it and hoping she just teams up with Sigel the entire time. (On a completely different note, I'm not sure who I ship with her more *ahem). Back to being a judge.... I didn't really see to many mistakes, though that could be because I was engrossed in the story. Once again, you've done a fantastic job with her magic energy levels, and not only hers but everyone else's. This had more of a darker tone and I seriously can't get over the bloodbath action scene, and then the brief fight scene at the river. You portrayed Kyren's magic so well, and made him so much like a baddie that I just I'm still fangirling. You added in more emotion from her character, so I felt like you balanced it all out better: description, emotion, action scene, development, cute interactions. I also enjoyed the mermaid scene.... It was so intense and I couldn't stop reading. I really honestly don't have anything to tell you to improve, other than work on varying your sentence structure a bit. You started several sentences with the word "I." Other than that though, perfect job! I enjoyed this entry so much just keep doing what you're doing!

Male 8: Lightning Mage Kalix Leanour - 12.6

Overall, this was definitely an enjoyable read. The beginning was hooking and interesting to read from Kalix's pov. All your fights scenes, especially the one between Sigel and Kalen, was full of suspense. I couldn't stop reading. I enjoyed Kalix's interaction with the griffin, it was short, but it made me smile! Your descriptions were vivid, and you especially did a great job with showing me, not telling me. I felt everything. I also felt like you did a better job including Kalix's emotions in this entry than the last one. Keep up the great work! You also did a fantastic job with his magic and keeping up with his energy levels! As for notes, there were several parts where you used the word, "the griffin" and it became so repetitive. Next time, watch how many times you use a word, and try varying it a bit. There were a few grammar mistakes, and one part where you had a huge run-on sentence, but it didn't take away from the story. As for what you should do to improve, next entry, I would try changing it up so that the end fight scene isn't exactly the same between Vala and Kalix. It was okay this time, and interesting (mostly because I read them days apart), and you did a good job of making them so different that reading it from Kalix's pov was different than reading it from Vala's, but I'm mentioning this to you as a warning of sorts, so you don't start becoming repetitive in your entries in the future. Wonderful job!

Female 10: Space Wizard Chanel Svana - 12.6

Overall, this was a wonderful entry. I seriously love the short poems that you engrain into it. It seriously makes it unique and not only that, but beautiful to read. I didn't spot any mistakes. I loved how it coordinated with Lilja's because it was interesting to read from her perspective, but be careful of that. I wouldn't advice it too much in the future, as coordinating too closely can make it really boring. I was glad that you at least included a scene with her magic, especially such an important one. I'm assuming the man she saw was Kyren, which was how you included him. Also, I can't believe she's mortally wounded at the end. I think the poem was a beautiful and nice place to end the entry itself. As for notes, you could improve on her emotions and endearing her to me. Make me want to cheer her on, give me something about her that is relatable that makes her feel real and feel human. Also, it seemed like you tried so hard to coordinate with Lilja that you forgot the most important part of the task—encountering one of the creatures. You ended on the same place as her, cutting off the encounter with any type of creature in the arena. For this reason, I had to count off points for not sticking with the task. Wonderful job though.

Female 5: Illusionist Sage Zentra Oromis - 12. 5

Overall, this was another impressive entry! You applied everything I suggested, and seriously just ran with it! I absolutely loved reading this, especially the sections that coordinated with Mordzar. Reading them from Zentra's point of view, was interesting. There were no mistakes with the action, and all your descriptions were so realistic and vivid I felt like I was really there (her encounter with the Arachne literally made me cringe). Kyren's brief encounter was another part that had me fangirling, and I think you really portrayed his character spot-on. As for notes, only one or two grammar mistakes, one punctuation mistake which I think was just a typo. My main concern is that you never mentioned her getting tired after all the spells she used, especially after she had taken control of all the Magi and the Sporkions. I'm also not really seeing the connection with the fact that she's an illusionist, and how she's able to control the sporkions. If she sent them an illusion, which in turn confused them and made them attack someone, that's one thing, but in one part earlier in the task, she directly ordered them to attack. If there's a logical, magical connection, then you should describe it. That's all you have to work on, everything else is perfect! Other than, next task, I really want to know more about why she's targeting certain Magi. Tell me more about her; give her motivations, especially since she's being portrayed as a darker person with more sinister goals. Amazing job! (again!)

Female 13: Conjurer Wizard Verna Ningha Ankundinov - 12.1

Overall, I really felt like you took more time and thought into writing this entry. There was a lot more detail included than your last, and you improved greatly. The brief scene with the Pegasi was interesting... I loved your vivid descriptions of them. Verna's protective, motherly instincts adds a layer of realism to the entry, and it really endears her to me. It's one of those characters that you just have to root for, you know? I liked how she conjured the stag, and her magic was mentioned, so that was also something that you added because of my advice. The fight scene was good, although you missed an action. After Verna had seemingly won, Ogygia suddenly had randomly gotten on top of her and was choking her, though you never mentioned that she had tackled Verna, or somehow had gotten her to the ground, which left it a bit vague and confusing. That being said, the encounter with Kyren was... shocking and interesting. He's my own character, and somehow you still managed to give an air of mystery about him and why he does the things he does (I'll be having a very stern talk with him about that later, haha. Just kidding). As for notes, there were a few grammar and punctuation mistakes, and that one missing action. All in all, it was interesting, but something about it still hasn't quite caught me yet, so it still feels like I'm reading an entry not a story. It really felt like you did and included only the bare minimum of the task. (only one death, brief encounter with pegasi), so it still didn't feel like true fantasy to me. Even if you only had one death, the interaction with any of the creatures could have been longer, or interactions with the other Magi as well. Next entry, try to add more creativeness to it all, make me feel like I'm reading a fantasy story. Overall, though, good job!

Male 17: Light Mage Aswake Coveni - 12.1

WOW! Okay, you wrote this entry like you were a completely different writer! If I compared this one to last without knowing that you wrote them both, I would have thought two different people wrote them. Every single thing that I said you needed to fix, you fixed. Your descriptions were absolutely amazing. They were clear, straight to the point, and told exactly what was going on. I am so impressed with your entry right now. You included a lot more development, and your creativeness really shined through. Having Aswake go to the vampire forest was just an amazing twist! Here he is a light mage, going to the darkest place in the arena! The way you wrote about his journey felt like it was just that: a journey. The encounter with Kyren was definitely interesting... Especially the slaughter. You have officially scared me from my own character, haha. Anyway, I really loved all of his interactions with the creatures: first the vampires, then the pegasi and your creativeness with making them twisted and dangerous, and the mention of the mermaids, only to have him end up with griffins, who had a very deep connection with his past. This was just... so impressive from you! As for notes, there were still instances where you switched tenses, and there were several grammar errors, but I was so impressed with how mature your writing grew in just the span of one task that I hardly even noticed! Also, that cliff hanger. Boy you sure know how to torture me... I seriously have to know who was talking to him! GAHH. Great job!!!

Female 9: Water Mage Myla Nixie - 11.2

Overall, great! This was a great entry! I really liked their emotions at seeing their fellow magi dead. I really got the feels, especially when Kandi came and everything she was feeling, and Myla's sympathy for her. You've done a good job with developing her character. I also loved the interaction/fight scene with the werewolves. The flashback with their connection to her past, not only told me more about her, but connected it all very well. As for notes, there were several grammar and punctuation mistakes, instances were there were run-on sentences. And you could work on varying your sentence structure. A lot of your sentences began with the word "she" so next time try to change it up a little. Good job!

Male 6: Shapeshifter Sage Faun Asterios - 10.1

Overall, this was a good entry. I enjoyed the description you used about his runes, and the way he used that to transform into a lion. It was very unique. As for notes, there were several grammar mistakes. What I would improve on, is not making his entry's too close to Centurauri's... at times it got a little bland because most of the parts I had already read from Centurarui's before, so just try not to make them too similar next time. This time it was okay because of Faun's emotions, which you did a good job describing. Good job!

Female 16: Plant Mage Kandi Kinsey - 10.1 

Overall, this was a good entry. You did good with including her emotions and thought process into it. You've also done a good job developing her character. As for notes, there were several grammar mistakes; instances where you put "she" instead of "I"; misplaced commas and run-on sentences, making it difficult to get hooked into your entry because of the mistakes. The idea with the vampire was a little cliché, and the part where she decided to randomly follow a boy into a forest even though she knows it's supposed to be dangerous seems a little unrealistic. Also, the fact that she would trust a random guy in the woods is a little unrealistic too. But the idea itself was solid and it was nice with what you were trying to do. Also, you briefly mentioned her energy levels, but toward the end, with her using vines strong enough to hold a vampire, not only that but drag him along with her, would have depleted a lot of her energy. Good job!

Male 3: Space Wizard Centurarui Asterios - 10

Overall, this was a good entry. Your writing has improved since the last one, which is great! I enjoyed the fight scenes with the vampires. It was suspenseful. As for notes, there were some points in your magic that didn't make any sense: the fact that he uses wands and staffs. One, there would be no logical way he could get them in the arena, and two, it was specifically stated that wizards use chanting with their words. Outside of that, you mentioned Kyren fighting with a bow, which he would have used his magic. Other than that, there were several grammar mistakes, but nothing that took me too much out of your entry though. Good job!

Female 12: Ogygia Gozo - 10

Overall, this was a pretty good entry. It was really short, so next time I would focus on making it longer and putting a little more effort into it. Another thing that will help is varying your sentence structure. Instead of always staring a sentence with "I" did this and "I" said this and "I" did that, it helps to change it up. This: "I saw the meadows ahead and ran toward them. I looked to make sure no one was there. I continued running on through." Could be this:

"The meadows were bright... beautiful. My eyes shifted over them entirely, watching closely for enemies. When I was certain there wasn't any, I moved on." The difference is huge and much more impacting. That being said, though, I did like your entry. Her interactions with the hippogrifs and griffins was enjoyable. It developed her as a character too—she seems to be better with animals than with people. Good job!

Male 1: Shadow Sage Nikolai Aerie - 0

Second time no entry - automatic elimination

Male 2: Shield Wizard Naven Aerie - 0 

Second time no entry - automatic elimination 

Male 4: Fire Mage Kalen - 0

Second time no entry - automatic elimination 

Female 8: Gravity Mage Jaei Burton - 0

Second time no entry - automatic elimination 

Male 10: Illusionist Sage Arvidell Milagras - 0

@ShayTree no entry - first warning

Male 13: Earth Mage Atreyu Coen Demarcus - 0 

@Danger-Of-Authority no entry - first warning 

Okay I think I didn't forget anyone, and I'm pretty sure I didn't get anyone's notes mixed up this time... If I did (again), please tell me and I'm so sorry (ahead of time just in case, haha).