When your brain decides to be a total dick....

Me: *yawns* Geez, this has been a great day! Maybe I can actually start liking myself!
Brain: ahahahaha, that's funny
Me: Huh? What's funny?
Brain:
Brain:
Brain:
Brain: oh you were serious

Me: Wow, I'm pretty smart. I would never say or do anything stupid that could possibly hurt myself or others.
Brain: Hey, remember that embarrassing thing you did a few months ago? Wow, that was so stupid. Why would you even say something like that?
Me: hEckIng

Me: Okay, whatever you do....don't have gay thoughts. This is a serious-
Brain: *immediately flashes pictures of my adorable little crush* haha gotcha bro
Me: end my life

Me: *in bed, lying down, trying to sleep*
Brain: Okay...in one...two...three! *flips productivity switch*
Me: *eyes widen in terror as creative thoughts consume me*
Me: please give me a break, my poor heart, my poor soul

Me: Okay, you see her everyday....you can do this. It's not like she's gonna kill you or-
Crush: sup.
Brain: Blush. Do it. Stutter. Cry. Do something embarrassing. Do it. DDD D D DO III I IT.
Me: *inhales*
Me: *opens up Google*
Google search history: "How to tie a noose"

~Aly