Hi, my name is Michelle, and I have ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), which I struggle with daily. Things haven't ever been easy for me. It took years for my mum to get me diagnosed since I was a child in primary school. Then, in my late teens, not long after finishing secondary school, I was privately diagnosed with it. It makes me feel bad that Mum had to pay out of her pocket to diagnose me. Maybe it was because doctors were too blind to see it when I was a child. But for that, I love my mum dearly even though I can never express it or say it to her.

Yet, ever since that fateful day, I was finding it hard to accept my diagnosis that I wasn't "Normal" like everyone else. Of course, life went on, and I attended college and looked for a job. But it was a continuous cycle for me, getting sent from pillar to post from the job centre to places on how to get said job up until my thirties. I have gained work experience from school and being sent to sites, but I felt I never got the proper support. If nobody were there to help me, I'd have a meltdown. I now have my first good job and have done so for the last couple of years at a supermarket, which I've learnt isn't the most glamorous of jobs. I'd gotten help through HACS, an autistic charity my mum had contacted.

But now, I am in my mid-thirties, still living at home with my parents. My older sister is married with two kids and lives in her place. My younger siblings have both got partners and are thinking of flying the nest for me to be left alone. I've tried to have relationships and want to be in one, but things never seem to pan out because I find the dating world too daunting or sometimes feel dejected soon after I mention I have a disability. 

I've also had problems questioning sexuality since I was a teen many years ago because I've been so confused, and it's only just recently I've begun to accept that I'm bisexual. I haven't come out to anyone, but I've come out to you, my readers and fellow followers, if you haven't seen the recent change in my profile. I've yet to come out to my friends and family, and I'm scared of how they will take it or if they will understand or accept me. My dad is the one I worry about who takes it the wrong way when he pokes fun at LGBTQ+ people, whether on the news or in a TV show. It makes me uncomfortable, and I want to say something to him but don't.

A/N: I've wanted to write about this for a while now and get some stuff off my chest. Even though it's tiny, it's a start, and that's enough. Thanks for reading x