Vision created a chat.

Vision invited Tony, Steve, Clint, Sam, Bruce, Bucky, Rhodes, Thor, Peter.

Vision: I need some advice.

Steve: With what?

Bucky: Aren't you a computer?

Peter: Yeah, don't you know everything already?

Vision: I'm a synthezoid, I do not know everything.

Bruce: He knows quite a lot, but certainly not everything. He's a person.

Bucky: Science is weird

Sam: Tell me about it

Vision: Actually, I need advice on female interaction. 

Tony: ...

Bruce: ...

Steve: ...

Sam: ...

Bucky: ...

Peter: We've got you man! 

Peter renamed the chat [Boyz] 

Peter: Who is it?

Vision: I don't feel comfortable sharing.

Clint: It's Wanda.

Tony: Yep

Vision: No it's... How did you... How did you know that?

Sam: Dude there are two 'females' in this compound

Rhodes: One of them is Nat

Bruce: The other is Wanda

Clint: It doesn't take a genus to figure it out

Tony: ...

Steve: Also you two are always talking. It's cute

Peter: Yup I totally ship you two

Bruce: What does ship mean?

Tony: Idk. Kid, quit it with the pop culture references

Peter: But it's not-

Tony: No. 

Rhodes: So Vision, what's your question?

Vision: Seeing as you are all human males and likely have experience with female interaction that exceeds my own, I would like to know how to...

Sam: Ask her out?

Vision: Yes.

Peter: Ok, here's what you do.

Peter: Step one = accidentally bump into her, then catch her in your arms.

Vision: If it is planned, how is it an accident?

Sam: You pretend it was an accident.

Vision: I did catch her one time, when Ultron had attached Sokovia and the city was exploding.

Peter: And then what happened?

Vision: I left her on the hovering boat and went to kill Ultron 

Peter: Ok so not a bad start 

Steve: Wait no don't do all that, just play some romantic music and offer to teach her to dance 

Tony: In what world can Vision dance better than Wanda? 

Bucky: In what world can Steve be romantic? 

Sam: lol 

Thor: You are all ridiculous. Simply take her into battle, save each others lives, then return and make love during revelries. 

Steve: ... 

Tony: ... 

Rhodes: ... 

Sam: ... 

Clint: THERE WILL BE NO LOVE MAKING 

Bruce: Vision if you want to ask her out, do it in a way she'll like it. 

Vision: How do I know she'll accept? 

Tony: If she likes you back - which she does - she'll say yes no matter what 

Peter: But you should still try to be romantic 

Sam: Yeah. Like make her a nice meal or something. 

Vision: I've never eaten, I don't know how to cook 

Rhodes: So buy her a nice meal 

Steve: Isn't that a date already? 

Tony: Buy her a gift 

Clint: Dude that's a bribe 

Bruce: Yeah don't bribe her that's awful 

Vision: I want to do something Wanda would like 

Sam: Great, so do that 

Vision: But I don't know what she would like. 

Peter: Why don't you ask Pietro? I bet he would know. 

Tony: Kid no! 

Steve: Wait don't- 

Peter invited Pietro. 

Bruce: He did it 

Sam: Everyone brace yourselves 

Pietro: What's this chat about? 

Steve: Nothing no need to read through it 

Bucky: You should totally read through it 

Tony silenced Bucky. 

Pietro: GUYS WHAT THE HECK!?! 

Clint: Kid calm down 

Pietro: YOU WANT TO ASK MY SISTER OUT? 

Peter: Dude chill, she's a grown woman 

Tony: Stay out of this kid 

Pietro: STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER!! 

Vision: Apologies, I did not mean to anger you. 

Pietro: SHUT IT TOASTER AND BACK OFF 

Thor: Notice how the caps lock goes uncommented when he does it 

Tony: Shut it blondey 

Bruce: Pietro, Wanda can make her own choices 

Pietro: NO SHE CAN'T 

Pietro: STAY AWAY FROM HER 

Vision: But... I like her. 

Thor: And she likes him. 

Rhodes: A lot 

Pietro left the chat. 

Vision: I fear we may have made a mistake involving him. 

Vision: Help 

Vision left the chat. 

Tony: Uh oh. 

Steve: Guys we've got to fix this. 

Sam: How? 

Rhodes: Hang on Nat's on the other chat 

~ Avengers Chat ~ 

Nat: Um why did Vision just blast a hole through the wall? 

Rhodes: He was trying to hit Pietro 

Wanda: Vision why would you do that? 

Pietro: BECAUSE HE'S AWEFUL THAT'S WHY 

Steve: Everyone chill! 

Pietro: Wanda the avengers are bad news we're leaving 

Wanda: What no I like it here! 

Tony: Guys relax 

Pietro: NOT UNTIL THAT TOASTER BACKS OFF 

Wanda: That's rude! What's gotten into you? 

Nat: What the heck is going on? Did I miss something? 

Clint: Yes 

Vision: I would like to say that I never meant for him to respond like this! 

Pietro: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU TOASTER! 

Pietro left the chat. 

Vision left the chat. 

Bruce: Uh the news just started talking about chaos in the city. 

Sam: For the record, this is the kid's fault 

Peter: Hey! 

Tony: Leave the child out of this 

Peter: With all due respect, Mr. Stark, I'm sick of always being left out! I'm mature, I can be a part of this kind of thing 

Steve: Dude you're thirteen 

Peter: I'm fifteen! 

Bucky: Exactly 

Bruce: Guys Pietro and Vision are going to kill each other 

Wanda: I don't know what you guys did but I have to go fix it now. 

Wanda left the chat. 

Nat: Clint filled me in on our private chat 

Nat: You guys really messed up 

Sam: Yeah but Wanda's on it now 

Tony: She seems like she's got it covered 

Rhodes: Yeah I'm not getting involved with those three 

Thor: Me either 

Clint: 'Cause you're scared they'll kick your butt again? 

Thor: NO 

Thor left the chat. 

Nat: lol