Journal Entry 1:

I have been keeping a chilled towel on Agni's forehead but it's doing little to ease his fever. His hand is so small clutching mine, no bigger than a human child a few years of age even though these boys are mere months old. Hiding was the only thing I could do to keep them alive, but alone, I do not know how to care for dhampir children. In desperation, I went into the local nomad villages to seek information as discreetly as possible, but there was no real way to ask what a dhampir might need to ease a sickness.

The best I managed was gathering herbs known to help vampires with certain afflictions, but no creatures of the night suffer from fevers. They are cold as ice. I have experimentally combined fever reducing plants for humans with herbs that settle and soothe dark magic, but I have no idea if the scent wafting from the towel is helping Agni or making him worse. Tears water my eyes even as I write. I am failing the children in front of me as much as the one I left behind with Pyre.

Helia was my second birth so my body is less damaged than when I had Horus, but I am still healing and full of motherly hormones. They scream at me to return home, to take Helia in my arms and bring her to my breast, but if I leave these children, they will perish. I am all they have, while Helia has Pyre. It is cruel, but it is what fate has decided for me.

Helia was only a few weeks old when the Cinder elders asked me to come with them for something only I could do. They'd wanted a mother and a grand mage, one who understood what had to be done. The woman who bore Agni and Alev thrust them away like they were beasts, all while they cried and screamed for the mother who rejected them. With gentle hands, I took both the boys, only babies at the time, and they nuzzled against my familiar Cinder magic. It took no more than a little rocking and affection to soothe them into slumber that day.

All they'd wanted was their mother.

The Cinder woman had lain with a vampire under allure, and by the time she was herself again, there was no undoing the pregnancy. So she had carried it to term, but the moment she birthed her children, she cast them aside. That was when the elders had laid down their decree, that the children should be killed to avoid catastrophe, as all dhampirs were said to bring. I agreed to do it because I knew the men would have been cruel about it otherwise, but I never intended to go through with it.

With both boys in her arms, I walked out into the desert and never turned back.

Only monsters could order the deaths of infants and have no remorse, and I want no part of that world. For too many years, I fought and hated at Pyre's side, and though I love Pyre with all my heart and feel as he does toward the creature of the night, these children are innocent. No matter their parentage, they deserve a life, but I am unsure if it will be a long one.

Journal Entry 2:

The wind along the ravine shakes the tent I set up at the cliff's base. The shade and the wind make the heat bearable, but the sun sometimes bakes us even on the ground. It's not an ideal location, but I need the cover from the elements for Agni to rest. When he is awake, I whisper soothing words and hold his hand, but he never manages more energy than it takes to slip his fangs into my wrist and drink blood. His ability to do so is growing weaker each day.

Dark magic flooded my tent early in the day, and I found a tall man standing in the doorway. Obsidian hair hung from within his hood down to his hips, and his skin was the color of the darkest shadows in the dunes. A Sol. Under his sand-colored cloak meant to hide him against the dunes eyes like molten lava skimmed the tent.

I shielded the boys with my body as he took a single step into the tent, and flames danced on my fingers as I crouched in preparation to defend Agni and Alev. Without aggression, he dropped his hood, and the flap of the tent fell with a ruffle. The sheen of his hair showed how well he cared for himself, which meant he wasn't a wandering vampire. This one belonged to the Sol house in a higher capacity than most.

Even with his height, his frame was thinner than many I'd fought in the Cinder territory, but I imagine he had no less muscle on his lean body. No other magic emanated from outside of the tent, so the vampire was alone, and he'd have hell on his hands if he chose to attack me.

"The boy is sick?" he asked, and I lowered my hands as I searched his eyes for whether or not he was a threat.

Every fiber of my being screamed for me to run and take the boys as far as I could. As a grand mage, I do not wither in the presence of many, which meant this vampire was as strong as they came. Still, Agni was getting worse every second and Alev was not far behind as his brother faded.

"I have asked around, but I do not know what to do for him," I decided to answer, praying that the man was here to help. I was out of options, and I might just lose the children otherwise.

"Allow me to come close," the man seemed to be asking more than demanding, but the way his blood red eyes boiled in my direction spoke volumes as to what he thought of mages. This one would rip me to shreds if I left myself open. It noticed my hesitation, and his piercing gaze lightened just so much. "Killing you would be detrimental to the boys' health, so you are safe from me, Nova Cinder." His knowing who I was when I did not know him put me at a disadvantage.

The vampire approached, and against my better judgement, I moved to the side. Poor Agni was gasping for breath, and the man dropped a hand to his forehead as he knelt. A groan escaped Agni that had me wanting to tear the man's arm off, but slowly Agni's breath calmed and he settled into silent sleep next to Alev.

What had he done?

"Why are you alone with the children? Did the father perish?" the vampire asked, seating himself in front of the boys like he had no intention of leaving.

"I... don't know," I managed to speak to the vampire, and his eyes narrowed.

"How do you not know? The father would not have willingly abandoned his own, as I assume you were with him during..." The vampire inhaled my scent deeply as he assessed me, crawling his eyes up and down my body like he was feeling me for weapons. A growl rolled from his lips that set my teeth and had flames at my fingertips again. "They are not yours."

"No. The mother rejected them, and the mage council ordered me to kill them. I had no other option but to hide at the edge of the Sol deserts where they would not chase me."

My voice choked off as the vampire snapped out a hand and yanked my arm forward. A shiver ran up my spine from the ice as he pulled back my sleeve, but I sank into the sands as I realized he was merely examining the innumerous bite marks from Agni. I was all he had to feed from.

"Mom?" Alev had woken to my spike in fear, pushing his wavy red hair out of his face as he sat up. He saw the man touching me and growled protectively, even though he is so small. It was such a pitiful noise from a child barely old enough to have fangs, and his underdeveloped vocal structure had him choking it off with a light cough.

"It's okay, Alev. This man is just trying to help your brother." I pulled my arm back, and the vampire let me go as he met Alev's flaming Cinder eyes.

"You are feeling ill as well," the vampire asked kindly, but Alev sank as the man lifted a hand to him. Before the vampire could touch my trembling son, I slapped his hand away. Tears laced Alev's eyes, and he darted behind me, holding my arm and burrowing himself into my side.

"What do you want here?" I asked directly as the vampire looked to his hand and set it back in his lap.

"It is rare for dhampir children to take to a surrogate. Your magic and feel must be near identical with the mother's or they would have perished within a day," the vampire said, not answering my question. "Creatures of mixed magic need the presence of both light and dark to mature past childhood. You seem to be doing an adequate job as their provider, but without dark magic, they will both perish."

"I did not know," I whispered, squeezing Alev's hand to quell his fear.

"I imagine as much. I am Rivin Sol, and I would be happy to provide the dark magic necessary to get them through their earlier days. Once they reach adolescence, usually a little over a year after birth, they will be okay with just you." Rivin seemed earnest, but Alev was still sputtering a growl as he leaned on my thigh. "I can also provide you someone for the other boy. A willing donor to give blood. I can see you've been giving all you can, but you're not enough."

"I know I need help, but if you intend to rear them only to kill me when they can survive on their own, I cannot accept yours. You know who I am, and I did not need much focus to read the loathing in your eyes when you saw me. These boys have been through enough, and I will not have them lose their mother twice."

Rivin met my eyes with a disgusted twist of his lips, and I sat up straight under his assessment. With a small huff of breath, he dropped his hostility for a smile. It was a brittle thing, just lifting the corners of his lips, but the threat within his eyes lessened, and his muscles lost their tension as he let down his guard. It was meant as a show of trust as well as an offer.

"I would not do anything to harm such miracle children, including take their mother." Rivin's tone was gentle and accepting, his dark magic so soft as he offered a hand that I could not believe the man before me was a creature of the dark. "I will make accommodations and find you a better place to conceal yourself than a tent at the cliff edge. The sandstorms often drop boulders down in these areas, and one could end all three of you. Come with me, Nova Cinder, and I will make a place for you."

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Word Count: 1917