(Whatsapp)
(Subject: Kidnapping)
(A/N: This is by far the most chaotic page I have ever made. So, enjoy!)
(K/DA universe.)

Evelynn: hey, Ahri?

Ahri: Eve!

Ahri: I've been looking for you and Kai'sa for nearly two hours.

Ahri: where are you?

Evelynn: well, we sort of went out drinking.

Ahri: why didn't you tell me?

Evelynn: it was sort of a sudden decision.

Evelynn: since we're all still bummed out about Akali(you know, the cheating wrench), I decided to hit the bar.

Evelynn: I saw Kai'sa on the couch with the cutest sad look, so I decided to invite her over.

Ahri: I ask again, why didn't you tell me?

Evelynn: I'm just gonna come clean, I wanted some quality time with Kai'sa.

Evelynn: I was so tired of people saying that YOU were what's been keeping our group together, so I just thought that me and Kai'sa can bond a little.

Ahri: by drinking your problems away?

Evelynn: you make it sound like there's another way to do it?

Ahri: ffs.

Ahri: wait, why are you texting me if you didn't want to know?

Evelynn: because I need you to pick us up.

Evelynn: Kai'sa is wasted, and I have been drinking too so I can't drive us back.

Ahri: out of everything you ever did, is driving drunk really such a big deal?

Evelynn: well, yeah.

Evelynn: I drive crazy, but I don't drive drunk.

Ahri: are you serious?

Ahri: anyway, how drunk is Kai'sa?

Kai'sa: hey, foxy, how are you and your sexy ass doing.

Evelynn: as you can see, she's full on wasted.

Kai'sa: we should invite Sivir to swim in our pool.

Kai'sa: I want to see that delivery girl in a swimsuit.

Kai'sa: LET'S TRICK HER INTO WEARING A MICRO-BIKINI!

Ahri: wow, it is bad.

Evelynn: I know.

Evelynn: I mean, we already knew she had a crush on Sivir, but never actually admit it.

Ahri: alright, I'll come to pick you up.

Kai'sa: noooooo.

Kai'sa: we're not done drinking.

Kai'sa: I'm still sad about that b*tch!

Ahri: we're all sad about Akali, but what can we do?

Evelynn: yeah, we already burned all of her stuff, so there's nothing left for us to burn.

Kai'sa: I know!

Kai'sa: I thought of the best way to get Akali back.

Ahri: really?

Kai'sa: yeah.

Kai'sa: let's kidnap her!

Evelynn: that's actually a pretty good idea.

Ahri: are you two crazy!?

Evelynn: no, we're drunk.

Evelynn: I thought that was obvious.

Ahri: we are not kidnapping Akali.

Kai'sa: but she cheated on us!

Evelynn: plus, she and her new group moved in town the other day.

Ahri: Look, I'm mad and sad too, but that's no excuse to kidnap someone.

Kai'sa: hey, Ahri, remember that stuffed animal that you loved so much but went missing?

Ahri: you mean Kiko?

Ahri: wait, do you know where he is!?

Kai'sa: Akali stole it.

Kai'sa: she used it as a sponge for one of her paintings and then threw it on the street where dogs ate it.

Kai'sa: she made me promise to not tell you, so I'm not telling you that she did that.

Ahri: WHAT!?!?!?

Ahri: Akali did that!?!?

Ahri: jsbdkdnshwjrisnsjd.

Ahri: F*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck.

Ahri: forget what I said, we're kidnapping the b*tch!

Kai'sa: yes!

Kai'sa: kidnapping time!

Evelynn: okay, since you're coming to pick us up, bring some rope, duck-tape, something to knock people out with, and keys to one of my fastest cars.

Ahri: you sound like you've done this before.

Evelynn: no comment.

(about thirty minutes later)

Ahri: alright, I got her!

Evelynn: get in the car, now!

Kai'sa: we're kidnapping Akali!

Ahri: step on it!

Kai'sa: we're kidnapping Akali!

Evelynn: stop saying that.

Ahri: stop texting while driving, woman!

Kai'sa: she looks so cute tied up with duck-tape on her mouth.

Kai'sa: I want to give her a dog treat.

Ahri: I really don't know if she said that to insult Akali or because she's drunk.

Evelynn: most likely the latter.

Ahri: Eve, the road!

Kai'sa has added Grey into the groupchat.

Ahri: WHAT DID YOU DO?????

Grey: for the love of Sif.

Grey: what do you girls need my help with this time?

Kai'sa: Grey, you won't believe what we just did!

Ahri: hoe, don't you dare!

Evelynn: take her phone from her!

Ahri: I'm trying, but she just keeps phasing into and out of existence!

Grey: what's going on?

Kai'sa: we kidnapped Akali!

Grey: you WHAT?!

Ahri: don't listen to her. She's drunk.

Kai'sa: oh, I'm definitely drunk.

Kai'sa: but we really did kidnap Akali.

Kai'sa: here's a picture!

Kai'sa: *Kai'sa has sent a photo to the groupchat*.

Grey: Ahri, what in the name of Artorias are you doing!?

Evelynn: ffs!

Evelynn: look, we went out drinking, ran into Akali, and decided to bury the hatchet with her by drinking our asses off.

Evelynn: she just passed out from drinking.

Grey: that doesn't explain why she's gagged and tied up!

Grey: also, why is she tied up in THAT way?

Grey: she looks like she's about to star some bondage porn!

Kai'sa: that was Evelynn's idea.

Grey: can you explain to me what in the entire world got into you to kidnap someone!?

Evelynn: alcohol.

Kai'sa: Yo mama!

Ahri: KIKO HAD TO BE AVENGED!

Grey: are you sure that Kai'sa is JUST drunk?

Evelynn: well, to be honest, I might have slipped a little *whistle* in her drinks to help her get drunk faster.

Ahri: Eve, watch the f*cking road!

Grey: so, not only did you kidnap Akali, but you also drugged Kai'sa?

Ahri: Grey, I swear I knew nothing about the drugs.

Kai'sa: Man, Sivir is hot!

Kai'sa: I want to put my babies in her womb!

Grey: I think I just broke the world record for longest breath ever.

Kai'sa: great news! Akali woke up!

Grey: is she okay?

Ahri: well, for one thing, she's not thrashing or screaming, so that's a good sign.

Grey: does that have to do with the fact she's gagged and tied up?

Ahri: maybe.

Kai'sa: Awe, she looks mad.

Ahri: probably because you keep poking her cheek.

Ahri: and also the fact that Evelynn just reached back and groped her.

Ahri: thankfully, I slapped away her hand so she can focus on driving.

Evelynn: I'm drunk, and my mind is currently filled with all that fan art about me and her, so don't expect me to keep my hands off her for long.

Grey: and sexual harassment was just added to the list.

Grey: for the love of Sif.

Grey: can you untie one of her hands, give her a phone, and add her here?

Ahri: do we have to?

Grey: AHRI!

Ahri: fine.

Kai'sa: oh, she almost choked Evelynn with one hand!

Ahri: thank God we were at red light.

Ahri: not like Evelynn seemed to mind, but I managed to get Akali's hand off her.

Evelynn: I'm drunk, I just tied up a hot girl, and she tried to choke me after I let her go. What do you want from me?

Ahri: to not enjoy being choked so much.

Evelynn: no can do.

Ahri has added Akali into the groupchat.

Grey: Akali, how are you feeling?

Akali: you know, I've never been kidnapped before.

Akali: after trying it for the first time, I can safely say that I DO NOT LIKE IT!

Akali: also, did you drug Kai'sa?

Akali: she's trying to show photos of puppies to her own reflection on the window.

Evelynn: maybe.

Akali: WATCH THE F*CKING ROAD, WOMAN!

Ahri: okay, I just took Eve's phone so she can stop looking away from the road.

Grey: so, can you please understand that this was one giant mistake and not act violently when they let you go?

Akali: are you f*cking serious!?

Akali: these people kidnapped me, tied me up, groped me in Evelynn's case, and you want me to just forgive them!?

Grey: I didn't say forgive them, I just said don't kill anyone when they let you go.

Grey: plus, I'll be there, so...

Akali: okay, fine.

Akali: but why am I tied up like I'm going to star some kind of bondage porn?

Ahri: Evelynn's fault.

Akali: what a surprise.

Akali: also, can you get this duck-tape off my mouth.

Kai'sa: okay!

Akali: jeidbrjskbdkdid.

Akali: NOT LIKE THAT, WH*RE!

Akali: THAT HURT LIKE F*CK!

Akali: also, why is Ahri in on this?

Akali: I get that Kai'sa is drugged, and Evelynn is SLIGHTLY drunk, but why is she on this?

Ahri: TO AVENGE KIKO!

Akali: who?

Ahri: my beloved stuffed animal that you threw to the dogs!

Akali: thanks for keeping a secret, Kai'sa.

Kai'sa: your welcome!

Kai'sa: I'm such a good friend.

Grey: it's going to take literally every favor Caitlyn and Vi owes me to get you out of this.

Ahri: it can't be that bad.

Grey: yes, yes it is!

Grey: Tiara herself has never done something close to being that bad!

Evelynn: are you sure about that?

Grey: I'm the one who has to bail her out every time she gets into trouble, so yes.

Grey: in other words, you girls crossed a line even Tiara would never cross!

Akali: it does sound bad when he puts it that way.

Ahri: I'm sowey!

Ahri: pwease forgive me!

Grey: oh no you don't!

Grey: Ahri, my love for you has gotten you out of a lot, and I mean a LOT of trouble, but not this time!

Grey: after this is settled, we're going to have a LONG talk.

Grey: and that includes the rest of you!

Akali: wait, what did I do?

Grey: may I remind you that this all happened because SOMEONE didn't stay loyal to their group!?

Ahri: and Kai'sa?

Grey: she's supposed to be the responsible one, and she went drinking with Evelynn, which is the exact opposite of being responsible.

Evelynn: that's fair. 

Grey: I am seriously going to need a drink after this.

Evelynn: funny enough, this is how this entire mess started.