The rest of the week had gone over pretty well.  Anthony had kept his distance from the boys like Cole had demanded, and Bryce – despite his dedication to his friend – wasn’t about to bother them and risk being hit again.  Cole felt bad for his actions, but desperate times had called for desperate measures.  Other than pushing Noah and hitting those two, he’d kept relatively calm under those stressful situations and he was almost certain Dr. Pembroke would be proud of him.  In under a year he’d managed to turn his life around quite a bit and he felt confident and comfortable being alone.

Thankfully his friends were going to let that happen.  The following Sunday Kendall had texted everyone and told them they’d be going out to eat somewhere.  It was nothing fancy, but they needed a celebratory lunch to chat and make plans for prom.  He may have looked like a two hundred pound attractive giant, Cole knew Kendall was kind at heart and he had no problem bringing him and Laura into their small circle of friends.  They only had a few months until graduation and had to savor every moment they had together.

Cole sat at his computer, scrolling through his favorite fashion blog on Tumblr when he heard the unmistakable sound of Noah’s horn outside.  He quickly reblogged a picture of Florrie, one of the blog’s many models, and logged out, grabbing his jacket and sprinting down the stairs.  His mother Janette sat on the sofa while Oscar massaged her back.  They both looked up at him as he came running down.  “Be back before our show comes on tonight!” she said.

“I will!” he said, slamming the door behind him.  He slipped his arms into his coat and glanced at the front seat.  Noah and Kacey rode together up front, and in the bed of his truck were Laura, Kendall, Paul, and Naomi.  He climbed in the back, panting heavily.  “Hey, guys.”

“Hola,” Paul said, wrapping an arm around Naomi’s shoulder.  She tried to hide her blush and shoved him away, scooting next to Cole.  Noah pulled the car out of the driveway and headed out of the neighborhood.

“Where are we heading today?” Cole asked.

“We all already had a vote and Burger King won.  I’m paying, and Laura said if you all wanted to see a movie, she would pay for that,” Kendall said.

“Aw, you don’t have to do that.”  Cole didn’t want them paying for all seven of them.

“I want to,” Laura insisted.  “We both got paid on Friday and we’re gonna make it rain.”

“I see you,” Paul laughed. 

“Now that Robert’s okay and you guys are done with the excitement, I want to thank you for the best thing that’s happened this school year.  I would have said the field trip we went on in English last semester because our bus broke down, but rescuing a kidnapped baby is ten times better than that,” she smiled.

“I remember hearing about that,” Noah said.  “Well, I’m glad we beat that for most exciting school situation!”

Cole grinned and shrugged.  If they were going to insist, he wouldn’t put up a fight.  While they rode, the group made small talk, discussing homework plans and what all they had to do before they graduated.  Laura and Paul still needed to pay off their caps and gowns but it wouldn’t take long.  The drive to the restaurant seemed much shorter than it was and they were pleased to see that the place was nearly empty inside.  The moment they entered, Cole and Noah both spotted the manager who’d thrown them out two weeks ago.  He shot them a look that faded when he realized they wouldn’t be trouble again.  Cole smiled at him.  They all got comfortable in the largest booth there, and once they were situated, Kendall brought out his phone and instructed them to write their order down.  When he and Paul headed to the counter, Noah glanced at Cole.  They sat side by side, stuck between Laura on one end and Kacey on the other.  Under his breath, Noah asked,

“Did you bring them with you?”

“Yeah,” Cole said, patting his left jacket pocket.

“Good.  We’ll head out after lunch and take care of those,” he smiled.  Cole grinned as well, his eyes lighting up when the two boys returned with food and drinks.  Paul handed out drinks and Kendall distributed their orders, each sliding into their seats after that.  Kacey put her straw in and took a long sip of her soda.  She made a curious face.

“What is this?”  Paul’s ears practically perked up.

“Coke Mountain’s Beer.  It’s like a Suicide, but a lot tamer.  You like it?”  She took another drink, smacking her lips.  After a moment she shrugged.

“It’s kinda good, kinda gross.  I like it,” she smiled.

“Awesome.  It’s not for everyone, but we love it.”

Cole watched Noah as he tried the concoction as well.  He swallowed quickly, a forced grin on his face.  He cringed a bit but tried to hide it.  “It’s… good.”

“Liar,” Cole chuckled.

“Yeah, I’m lying so much,” Noah sighed, his mouth pulling into a smirk.  He appreciated the offer but the drink definitely wasn’t going to be his new favorite.  Good old Coke held that title.  Still, he sipped sparingly as he ate, drinking from Cole’s just to get a rise from him.  Smacking his hand each time it neared, Cole managed to enjoy his mean despite Noah’s attempts to bug him.  Naomi’s sudden burped surprised her more than anyone else at the table.  They stared in silence for a split second before cracking up.

“You killed that one,” Paul said, biting down into his burger.

“What can I say?  I’m a real classy lady.”

Cole and Noah bailed out on the group when everyone was finished eating.  They had some business to take care of, and rather than dragging them along, the group would hang out in the arcade until Cole and Noah returned.  They stopped by Naomi’s house and everyone filed into her car.  She hung her head out the window and pointed at the two of them in his truck.  “You two better be good,” she warned them.

“Yes, Mom!  Love you,” Cole said, blowing a dramatic kiss.  Naomi returned to her seat laughing, sliding on her seatbelt.  The boys watched the others drive off before doing the same.  Noah glanced at Cole out of the corner of his eye.

“How many did you write?” he asked.  He gestured to the letters in Cole’s hands.

“Five.  One for Brent, my therapist, Mom, Dad, and me.”

“You wrote to yourself?”

“Well, I wrote to who I was last year.  I don’t know.  It was really therapeutic.”  Noah nodded and turned his eyes back to the road.  Had Cole known where Brent now lived, he would have done this on his own but he didn’t still talk to him like Noah did.  The last time he’d even spoken to the guy was at The Croon Club when he forced him to reveal the truth about his deception.  While he understood why they wouldn’t ever talk again, Cole still wanted to apologize for what happened.  Not everything had been solely his fault but he’d never talked about what he did, and now he would.

He stared out the window as Noah drove them to Brent’s new apartment.  He hated to admit it, but his stomach was twisting and turning wildly.  It was only a letter, and Cole would never have to see him open it, but it still made him nervous.  What if Brent simply ripped it up when he saw who it was from?  That really shouldn’t have mattered to him, though.  This was for Cole, not for Brent.  This final forgiveness was for himself.  Noah turned into an empty parking space in a moderately nice apartment complex and unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Want me to go with you?”  Cole thought about it but shook his head.  He had to end what he’d begun alone.  “I’ll be here if you need me then.”

“Thanks,” Cole said, bringing his gaze up to him.  “I’ll be right back,” he said with more confidence than he felt.  He placed the other four letters on the dashboard in front of them and climbed out of the truck, picking at his clothing.  He walked up the stairs to the second level of the building and found his apartment easily enough.  What was hard was dropping the letter off.  Should he even do this?  Was the letter perfect?  If it wasn’t, he didn’t want Brent reading it.  He opened the envelope and removed the paper inside.

Brent,

I’m probably the last person you ever wanted to hear from.  Normally, I wouldn’t even think to try and contact you again.  If someone had done to me what I did you, I could never see them again and that would still be too soon.  But I just want you to know how sorry I am for what I did to you and Kelsey.  I invaded your personal privacy.  I publicly humiliated you.  I played with your emotions and lost control of my own.  I wanted you so badly that I was willing to ruin everything you’d worked for just to please myself.

When it first happened, I blamed myself.  I thought I’d done something horrible to deserve what you did to me.  The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that I didn’t deserve that, either.  You used me.  You lied to me and embarrassed me and accused me of so many horrible things that it felt like you wanted nothing more than to hurt me.  I trusted you.  I thought I loved you.  I loved the idea of being in love with you.  I can tell the difference now because I’m pretty sure I love someone.  He treats me better than I ever deserve.  He comforts me when I cry.  He holds my hand when I need strength.  He was always right in front of me but I was too selfish to see it.  Not anymore.

I’m writing you because I want to apologize and I think you do too.  You were a bad boyfriend, and so was I.  It was both and neither of our faults that our relationship didn’t work.  We weren’t right for each other despite trying so hard to change that fact.  You came from a broken home and my home was breaking before my very eyes.  You couldn’t fix me because you weren’t fixed yourself.  I hope you’re fixed now, because I am.  I have a doctor who fixed me when I thought I was done for.  He saved me from myself, and in a way, I love him, too.

Really, I just want you to be okay.  It’s almost been a year since we were together and so much has changed.  I’ve made new friends.  You’ve got a new girlfriend.  I don’t know what you consider yourself these days, but that’s up to you.  Whether you’re completely straight, or bi, or whatever, I just hope that whoever you pick makes you happy in ways that I never could.  Maybe she has the power to fix what I couldn’t.  I can’t change what we almost were, but I can change how we remember each other.  To me, you’ll no longer be the biggest mistake of my life.  You’ll be the catalyst that I needed to help myself.  You brought me back to the person I was meant to be with and I’ll always be indebted to you because of that.

I hope I was the push you needed to do something good, too.  I hope you repaired your relationship with your father.  You didn’t have that love growing up, but you deserve it now.  You should be happy, and I should be happy, and if that means that we’re not meant to be together, then no matter how many break-ins I perform, no matter how many times I hunt you down and beg for you to love me, nothing will change that fact.  We weren’t meant to be together longer than we were.  It’s just how things work, I suppose.  Regardless, I want to apologize and also thank you.  You weren’t always a breath of fresh air, but thinking about hugging you, or sitting in bed with you, or watching movies together always makes me smile.  I hate that the bad things happened, but they did and I accept them.  The only thing that changed is how I look at them.  You’re a good thing that happened to me.  You’re a good person, and you should have nothing but the best.

I just wanted to talk to you one last time before I graduated and went on with my life.  Here’s to hoping both of us live a happy, drama-free life.

P.S. You’re still my favorite game of Seven Minutes in Heaven

- Cole

Cole clenched his jaw and placed the paper in the envelope.  He placed it in the clip on the side of the door where the complex placed notices and invitations to parties and headed back downstairs.  He climbed into the truck, buried his face in his hands, and tried to steady his breathing.  Rather than speaking, Noah reached over and ran his hand up the boy’s back.  The simple touch made Cole both happy and sad.  He hated being touched when he cried because it only made him cry harder.  But why was he crying?  This was finally over.  He’d made peace with the past and now he could move on.  Cole sat up and wiped away the tears threatening to spill out.  He smiled at Noah whose expression softened when their eyes met.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Surprisingly, yeah,” Cole said as he buckled in his seatbelt.  “Let’s go deliver the rest of these and get back to the others before the movie starts.”  Noah didn’t need to be told twice.  He backed out of the parking spot and headed for the exit.  With a sigh of relief, Cole watched Brent’s apartment door get smaller and smaller until he could no longer see it.