Rewinding the Spool
sleeptalks
Summary:
Femto takes the chance to go back in time knowing what he knows now and retaining his new form to reset his plans from a more advantageous point in history. At least, that's what he tells himself his reasons are.
Notes:
(See the end of the work for notes.)
Work Text:
He wrapped his talons around the thread of causality the skull knight had tried to slice him with, and realized he had the world in his hands. All of space and all of time tied to a string he held.
His first instinct was to tear it asunder and bring the whole world into the interstice. It would allow him to carve out a place in the world where he and his demon army would forever become a necessity, ensuring his rule over midland for as long as he wished with a convenient foe to unite all the humans under his reign against, just as Ganishka's attacks had allowed for the beginning of his reign. War
But then, he thought to himself, why stay bound to a linear world when he could take this opportunity and do so much more with it?
The skull knight likely had no idea of the true potential of what he had made, but Femto could feel it's power the instant he touched it.
Do as you will, chosen one.
With a smile, Femto did not tear, but instead let himself be carried off by the string of fate.

The question was when he wanted to be carted off to. It would be best to go around the time Guts had left; he had been perfectly set up to court Charlotte, and he would be able to easily avoid the recklessness caused by irrational emotion that had been his downfall before. He could bide his time and play nicely until his courtship was secured, and then quietly get the king out of the way. With an army of demons on hand bound to follow his every order, he wouldn't need to rely on mortals to do his dirty work. Demons would relish in the opportunity to do what mortal men would find him repulsive for.
Course set, he let go and felt himself neatly slide into his younger self's skin.
He had chosen the night Guts had abandoned him. He had evolved beyond any particular strong feelings about the event by now, but at the very least he could resolve his own curiosity. He saw no need to deny himself, after all.
He waited outside the room Guts slept in and, at night when the rest of the hawks should be asleep, he listened for the sound of the door opening.
When it finally did, he stepped out from behind a stone indent in the wall to intercept Guts's path.
"Hello, Guts." He said, putting on the smile Guts would probably expect to see. "Out for a late night stroll?"
Guts startled at the sight of him, and Femto could see a sliver of hesitation in his eyes (eyes- novel, that) before his resolve hardened again.
"Yeah. Just couldn't sleep. Don't worry about it." Guts said, and took a step forward to move past him. Femto caught his shoulder, and met his eyes.
"Walk with me."
Guts nodded after a pause, his face still set into a hard expression.
Femto led the way, but waited until they were outside to start asking questions.
"Cold out tonight, wouldn't you say?" Femto said as his boots crunched in the snow. All he got from Guts was a grunt of agreement.
"So, where were you headed so late, on such a frigid night?" He pressed on. He left room for Guts to try and lie to him, curious as to what he would choose to say. He knew that, if that night had gone how Guts had planned, he would have left without giving Griffith so much as a goodbye, and the thought of it had stung sometimes, when he was laying on the floor of a dungeon too weak to stand and in too much pain to do anything more than breathe and ruminate in his own misery.
"Just on a walk." Guts said, drawing Femto back to the present.
"With your bag packed and slung around your shoulder?" Femto asked, tone gentle but words cutting straight to the point.
Guts didn't speak for a moment. "The job's done, isn't it? You're well on your way to achieving your dream and getting your own kingdom."
"It does seem that way, doesn't it." Femto said.
"So you don't need me anymore." Guts continued.
"So that's it then?" Femto asked, tone kept measured and disinterested. "The war ends, and you leave?"
"...Yeah." Guts said simply.
"But why?" Femto asked. "Were you truly just disgusted by me after all?" The words sounded  as though they should carry some feeling, but Femto delivered his lines distantly as though he was debating the motivations of a character in a story. That's all his past was to him now. A distant memory.
"No! No, that's not it at all." Guts interrupted, and Femto heard his footsteps grind to a halt, so he stopped as well. "You know that's not it. Like I said before. I'm the man who killed a hundred men, aren't I? I have no room to judge you for any of that."
Femto kept looking forward, not sparing Guts a glance. "So was it the opposite, then? Were you simply afraid you would grow bored without a target to kill?"
"What?" Guts said, genuinely sounding a bit caught off guard. "That's not..."
After a tense period of silence, Femto gathered that he would gain nothing more from that line of questioning, so he finally turned back to look at Guts, who was staring at the ground, expression full of barely concealed hurt. "Then why did you decide to abandon me?"
Guts took a deep breath, and looked up at him with a determined stare. "I need to find my own dream."
Femto tilted his head to invite Guts to continue, but Guts was not the type who could be compelled to speak just to fill a silence, so they were left staring into each other's eyes, neither jumping to fill the air with more words.
"Why do you think you would need such a thing?" Femto finally asked. "You belong to me. Have you forgotten?" He took a step forward and reached out to grab Guts's face. Guts moved to dodge out of the way, but Femto was quicker. "What makes you think you have the right?" He said as he tenderly stroked the side of Guts's head.
Guts, never one to miss an opportunity to struggle pointlessly, tried in vain to jerk out of his grip. Femto, of course, was much stronger than Guts now, so all he could manage was a bit of pathetic jolting. Femto smiled as he watched Guts uselessly flail around, dropping his bag in the snow to grab at Femto's forearms.
"Explain yourself." Femto ordered, face returning to a detached expression, voice cool. "Why did you think you needed a dream?" The tips of his fingers became black talons, and he drew blood from Guts's temple as he tightened his grip.
"I wanted-" Guts started to grit out, but cut himself off to stubbornly pout. Femto gripped him harder, claws scraping blood from both sides of his head now. Guts's hands came up to try and pry Femto's claws off of his head, but his eyes widened in confusion as his fingers touched not human skin, but scales with raised bumps on the knuckles. Femto stared at him intensely, and Guts met his eyes and for the first time saw slitted pupils.
"What-what's happening to you?" Guts asked in horror.
"Answer me." Femto snapped.
"I-I wanted to find my own dream, so I could stand by your side as an equal!" Guts shouted. "I heard what you said at Promrose Hall. I wanted to become your equal so I could be someone you could call a friend!"
Femto stared into Guts's eyes. He began laughing, suddenly finding the situation too ridiculous to tolerate. His eyes went to the sky, and he had to stop himself from looking at the earnest expression on the fool he held between his hands, because if he saw that face at the moment he felt he may never regain his composure.
He then slid his arms around him and brought Guts up against his chest, holding him tightly, in a way that would almost look like a hug were it not for the rivulets of blood coming out of the sides of Guts's face.
"Your place will always be by my side." He whispered softly into Guts's ear. "But you will never be my equal." Femto let his human form drop, black helm coming to cover his head and leathery wings sprouting from his shoulders to wrap around the two of them, cutting them off from the rest of the world and trapping Guts against him.
He let his hands raise back to Guts's face, pulling him back far enough that he could look directly into Guts's eyes, which were wide with fear. "You belong to me."
He brought Guts's face up to his own, Guts's pointless thrashing not making his steady hands move so much as a millimeter, and tenderly planted a kiss on Guts's lips. He whispered again between kisses. "And I am never letting you go."
Notes:
I didn't see it until after I had written this already, but if you liked this work you should check out https://attendthetale.dreamwidth.org/1063.html (no spoilers but it's a good fic)
I dillydallied on posting this for a while bc I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but in the end I decided I might as well put it out there lol. Hope y'all enjoyed!