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Shouto POV:

I feel like....there's something I'm missing.

It's been picking at my mind all day and The Woman's presence only makes it worse. Actually, I think she's the cause of my headache in the first place.

Every time I think I'm starting to understand her, she makes things complicated again.

One minute, she talks my ear off and sleeps with me—falls asleep with me. Then, she ignores me for twenty-four hours and barely says two words to me when we finally see each other again.

Twenty-four hours is a long time not to see each other. Doesn't she know that? Doesn't she think that? I'm only saying that because how else will we get any work done if I don't see her everyday? It should be a requirement that she has to see me everyday. I should talk to her manager.

I couldn't help but think of Momo's words from dinner last night. She was so excited to see me after a month and said it felt like 'so much time' had passed since the last time we saw each other. At the time, I didn't understand how that could be possible. During the whole month I didn't see her, I didn't even notice her absence.

But, now, I think I understand what she was saying. Because, The Woman didn't send me a text for one day and it felt like years.

And then, when we did see each other today, she was silent at first. Like she didn't have anything to say to me after all that time.

Wasn't she going to explain herself? The reason for her absence? Or talk about falling asleep together the other night? Or ask me about work? Or question what I've been doing? Or....

The silence boggled my mind. She's never silent, and when she is, I can't stand it. I want her to talk. I want her to talk all day and say things I won't remember, and phrases I won't understand. I want her to look at me when she does and pay attention to me, and eye my body the way she thinks I don't notice, and touch me with her hands. The way her mouth moves is so interesting, I can't ever look away. Especially, with that lip ring.

I wanted it. Any of it. I would have taken anything. I wanted it so bad, I spent the first half hour trying to think of something to say when I was doing my sit-ups. Something that would get her talking.

I've only been the one to start a handful of conversations in my life. Who knew it would have been so much work...

And then when she did talk, it fed something inside me. She started doing all the things I was thinking about, looking at me and paying attention to me, and my stomach felt hot. My pulse buzzed with some sort of adrenaline.

A different kind of adrenaline than when I'm fighting. I didn't know what this kind was. But, the feeling only comes from her, and I found I liked the sensation of it.

The feeling only grew the more she talked. Then, it reached its peak when she came closer....closer...

She has this habit, you see.

It's like....she does things—things I'm not expecting....and then just ignores them afterwards.

She's done things like this a few times now. It always starts with her getting real close to me...with her scent of oranges and lilies....and...

Then it increases my blood pressure and makes me feel lightheaded. My chest always tightens and there's a knot in my stomach. A pleasurable knot I don't mind. One I want more of.

She makes these really soft sounds and shows me the lipstick color she chose to wear today...and that little beauty mark under her right eye I never noticed before. She looks at me like she knows something—like she wants something that I'm supposed to give her.....and then....

She just stops. She backs away like nothing happened and continues on with the day.

I don't understand why. And I don't understand the way it makes me feel. No one's ever made me feel so...breathless (?) before? Maybe now, on top of the heart attacks and dad's genetic insanity, she's somehow given me asthma, too.

My health must be getting worse from the stress she causes me. She's a horrible person.

I sighed tiredly as The Woman and I walked down the street. We finished up in the gym about twenty minutes ago and the sun was starting to set now. Once again, I find myself walking her to the subway station when I live on the other side of town. I couldn't tell you why.

But, it's late and there's been an increase in crime the last few weeks. Really, I'm just doing my job and making sure she gets home safe—when you think about it....

She took the long way to the station, along the boardwalk with the beach to our left. The setting sun painted the water and the sky pink. I don't really notice the sunsets that often. But, I guess I do now.

The Woman had a pleased look on her face as she swiped through all of the pictures she took of me today. Her hair was fluttering in the wind, and her shirt was coming up every so often, barely giving me a view of her navel piercing and the tattoo on her side. I still don't know what the tattoo is...

"Wow, look at all these sexy pictures." She mused, giving my shoulder a soft nudge as we walked. "Man, if you had a crush and you sent them these? You'd win their heart for sure."

My head couldn't absorb all of her words because I was distracted. I was distracted because of the way the setting sun was hitting the pink in her eyes. Her lip piercing glinted and once again I found myself wondering what it would be like to have a piece of metal in your face right there, or to feel it-

"Crush?" I simply said, unable to get any of my other internal thoughts out.

The Woman hummed and put her phone back in her pocket, smiling a bit curiously as she looked over at the beach.

"Yeah. You've had one, haven't you?" She asked, giving her arms a big stretch over her head.

Her shirt rose up past her bellybutton now, displaying her smooth skin and stomach. I already knew what it was like to feel her in a way because we slept together—fell asleep together. But, I've never seen that much skin on her.

It's....it's nice skin. Is that weird to think?

"I've never really thought about it." I said, feeling my mouth go dry when the wind blew her shirt even higher.

Oh...

The bottom hem stopped just below her chest now, flashing the very bottom of her bra—it was...it was dark red...very dark red...almost the color of wine. The material of the shirt hugged that area tightly...around her....her-

"So, you've never found anyone attractive?" Her voice brought me back, realizing her eyes had been looking my way.

Oh. She was looking at me? How long was she looking at me? I was....I didn't meant to....but, I guess I was looking at her chest. Did she notice? Is it bad if she notices? Is it bad if she doesn't? I only looked at it because it was right there and I didn't think to look anywhere else.

I should focus on what she's saying. I keep repeating her questions as answers, and while I normally do that with everyone else because it's just easier, I find myself wanting more. From me.

I want to keep her interested enough to keep talking and paying attention to me. I assume that means I need to try and contribute to the conversation more than just mirroring what she says.

But...

This is hard. Talking and conversing is hard.

Attraction, right? She said something about attraction and crushes...

So, I thought. For her. I really thought about it this time instead of just checking out, realizing I actually had an opinion after I took the time to legitimately think about it.

"Are...crushes and attraction the same thing? I thought they were different." I said honestly.

Her brow quirked in curiosity and her eyes were even more focused on me now as we walked down the boardwalk, and I liked it. I liked it a lot because it brought back that feeling I was telling you about with the adrenaline and the jitters.

"Is that so?" She mused, taking her bottom lip between her teeth.

At the same moment, her hair spilled into her face, thanks to the beach wind, covering some of her eyes. But, her mouth was still perfectly visible and her teeth were so white and straight biting her lip like that.

That's when I realized something...

Logically speaking, The Woman is attractive.

I'm not stating that as a personal opinion, but a fact. Anyone would look at her and think she's attractive. They would walk down the street and she'd catch their eye and take their breath away just like she does to me. Because she's The Woman and she has features that meet the attractive....requirements? Are there requirements for such a thing? I never thought about it.

If there are, she meets them.

And then I thought about today.

Because the same way I was looking at her just a moment ago is how she was looking at me earlier. It's how she always looks at me. And she's always close, and her eyes always look at my mouth.

So, based on this....

"For example, I believe it's been proven that you find me sexually attractive." I blurted out casually, watching her eyes bulge out of her head.

She abruptly stopped walking at that, causing me to stop a few steps ahead and look back at her as she gawked.

"What!?"

Oh. She sounds....panicked? I don't know if that's the right word, or if I'm reading that correctly. She definitely sounds like something, and I can't tell if it's a good something. Honestly, I don't even know why I felt the need to tell her that, but now I'm more curious than before.

If it's true.

What does she think of me?

"You don't make eye contact as much since you saw me shirtless." I said honestly, watching the life drain from her face like I was calling her out on something. "Your cheeks are red a lot and you touch your hair. You also look at my body multiple times during the day. I've heard those are the signs of attraction."

Her eyes barely twitched with something before returning to their usual state, scoffing softly in amusement before she caught up to me.

What—what was that? What does it mean?

Are people always this subtle and mysterious? I never cared or noticed before.

"You've heard?" She chuckled, suddenly becoming aware of how high her shirt had risen up her body.

It felt like I should have looked away when she grabbed the bottom hem and pulled it down quickly. I felt guilty when I didn't. I don't know why.

"Mhm. My brother Natsuo explained it to me once." I said, admitting more than I was expecting.

The Woman hummed in suspicion, walking closer to me as we were about to pass an older couple walking on the boardwalk. "Okay, but is that what you truly believe?"

She gave a small nod of greeting to the couple as we passed them. She didn't create extra distance once she had the opportunity to, veering closer and closer until our shoulders continuously knocked into each other's.

"I think so. I've never really noticed it before." I said, causing her to look at me.

"But, you suddenly do now?"

I was vaguely aware of the way our wrists bumped together every so often, the tips of our fingers barely brushed, too. I wonder how warm her hand is. I bet it's soft.

"I guess so." I shrugged, meeting her gaze with an instinctive response. "Don't worry, I find you attractive, too."

Once again, her pink eyes widened to the size of saucers, slapping a hand over her mouth like I'd just admitted something ridiculous.

I didn't mean to say it, but is it bad that I did? I'm just stating a fact. Surely, everyone's preferences about attraction are similar. No one's told me different.

I can't imagine anyone looking at her and not thinking she's attractive. Look at her. Now that I realized it, I can't un-realize it.

She's got the type of face you would see on billboards. I bet all the guys want her wherever she goes.

Actually. Wait...

Does she have a boyfriend?

I never thought to ask. Has she ever had a boyfriend? What was he like? What did he look like? Why did they end things?

Which guy is she interested in right now? Which guys are interested in her?

She laughed and it sounded nervous, I think. But, even so, she didn't back away from me, looking ahead to the boardwalk instead.

"Wha—you—you find me attractive?" She asked in disbelief, causing me to shrug and answer honestly.

"Sure. You have a very symmetrical face."

A small breath of air bubbled past her lips and she face planted the side of her head into my shoulder.

She was really close now, sending her scent of oranges and lilies straight through my nostrils. My heart was pumping with the adrenaline and my stomach felt jittery.

The feeling was addicting and I wanted her closer to feel it more. I wanted her closer to see what she would do and where things would go.

There's a sense of unknown when it comes to her. She's not predictable and I never know what to expect.

That doesn't usually interest me when it comes to others. It actually is usually the thing that makes me shut down.

But, she has a way of keeping me....not shut down. She knows how to talk to me and I feel comfortable.

"Jeez. Really making me go weak at the knees with that compliment." Her voice grumbled softly, muffled as her face remained planted in my jacket.

But, I could hear the smile in her voice, which means....she does like the fact I think she's attractive?

"Oh? Are you saying you feel faint? Do you need some water?" I asked in light concern, hearing her quiet, little laugh.

Her breath puffed out warmly onto my shoulder, and I barely even noticed the way she grabbed onto my arm now, holding it so effortlessly as we continued walking.

Momo always tried to do that when we went out places, and every time I had to tell her I didn't like it.

But, The Woman's touch is different. And right now, I wish she'd hold my arm like this forever because of how good it feels. It's warm and safe.

She waited a few moments to see what I would do, humming and melting closer when I didn't push her away.

"Sooo..." Her voice came out with a little more prying mischief. "You've never had a crush and you weren't attracted to your ex. Does that mean you've never been intimate with someone either?"

"I have been." I answered plainly, watching her press her lips together to wet them.

She nodded and went a bit quiet, seeming lost in her own thoughts about my answer.

I wonder what she's thinking about—I'd give anything to know what she's thinking about right now.

"And did you....you know....like it?" Her hand around my arm curled just a little tighter.

It felt like she wanted to come closer or do something. I wanted that, too.

But, back to her question. Did I like it? Sex?

The only woman I've had sex with was Momo. I lost my virginity to her when we were seventeen, and I didn't think there was anything memorable about it. I don't mean it in a rude way. Is that rude? Midoriya might think so.

The very first time Momo kissed me, I saw my entire future flash in my eyes. And it wasn't in a good way.

Everything was dull. Life with her would also be dull, and that was the moment I truly realized it.

The kiss itself was bland and just...normal, I guess. I didn't feel the desire to continue or take things further, but I figured that's just what people are supposed to do when they enter a relationship or arranged marriage.

The first time we had sex, she initiated it.

Biologically speaking, I did get hard and I did ejaculate. That's not too much information, right?

But, it didn't have anything to do with her. I didn't think of her when it happened. I didn't think of anything. I didn't pull her closer or feel the need to touch her body, or say her name.

It just...happened. And I didn't feel any closer to her afterwards. I felt fine.

It continued, and I could have done without it. I didn't hate it or dread it. Physically, it felt good to get that release. My doctor said men are supposed to ejaculate frequently for their health, so I was doing my health a service by having sex.

But, it did nothing for the relationship. And every time it happened, it was because Momo led us there.

Sometimes, she would cry afterwards because she would try to 'cuddle' with me as she said it, and I couldn't.

Those times, I felt guilty. I didn't want her to cry. I just didn't like her touching me. It wasn't anything personal, but I don't think she saw it that way.

But, I'm getting off track now. The original question was a lot more simple than this, I think...

"It was less about 'liking it' and more about obligation." I explained, feeling the temperature drop a few degrees as night slowly set in. "Sex is a natural cycle of life and reproduction. So are urges. I simply acted on them."

A soft whistle trickled past her lips for my explanation, not seeming surprised by my thinking.

"Wow. You even make sex sound literal." She huffed, giving her head a soft shake.

Is it not supposed to be literal? The only way she could know that is if she's...

...done it.

Has she done it?

Why do I find myself so curious about it now.

"Um. What about you? Have you.....you know...." I trailed off naturally.

Momo always became embarrassed about the topic, so it couldn't ever be brought up clearly.

But, The Woman just chuckled at my insinuations, turning towards me with much more confidence and comfortability about the topic than I was used to.

"Have I had sex? Sure." She shrugged, melting closer to my body. "Many times, in fact."

My eyes barely widened before returning to their original state, taking in each word as she said it.

It shouldn't be surprising. But....these are topics her and I haven't addressed yet. I guess we're addressing them now. I haven't met a woman so open and willing to talk about things like this before. But, then again, the only women I know are the ones I've known since high school.

My curiosity only rose, never having been this interested in someone's sexual history. It made the questions in my brain come out easier and eager. "How....how many times-"

"But, unlike you, I never saw it as an obligation." She followed up, looking at me knowingly. "I did it for pleasure. Because I wanted to. I wanted to feel good."

She wanted to feel good, she said.

So, she's enjoys having sex. But, what does she enjoy about it? The person she's doing it with? Or the feeling it gives her? Or both?

Even if I was silent, my mind was racing a mile a minute now, filling with question after question I couldn't get out in time.

"That's....well, you know, that's how it's supposed to be used, right?" Her voice came out a little softer, kicking a pebble down the boardwalk. "To feel good. To have fun."

Feeling good. Having fun. Those are things I never once associated with sex. But, she does.

Once again, she took my silence as her answer, playing with a loose thread of my jacket as we walked.

"I dunno. I'm just saying that if it feels like an obligation, maybe you're not having sex with the right people." She alluded, causing my brows to furrow in confusion.

"Is there a right person to have sex with?" My mouth finally moved, feeling my pulse starting to spike.

The tip of her tongue toggled with her lip ring in thought, looking up at the darkening sky and ocean.

"It depends on your preferences, but think of it this way—good sex stems from desire. In order to enjoy it, you have to desire that person." She said, gently gliding her fingers up and down my arm. "You have to find them attractive and be able to imagine it. Where even the simplest touches from them have you wanting more."

Her touches were simple, but alluring. Every single one left a trail of sweetness in its wake, wondering when she'd touch me again because I needed it. It made my head spin and my knees feel weaker, but for some reason, I just needed it.

Her hand glided down my arm before grazing my wrist, fingertips barely brushing against the palm of my hand.

"Where being close.....just isn't close enough." She said in a whisper, resting her head on my shoulder. "And you want to feel their body and taste them, and...."

And........and...?

I didn't realize how deeply she pulled my brain along until her tongue clicked and she quickly changed the subject.

"Well, you get the idea, right?"

I wasn't sure when my eyes became this hazy or dazed, blinking them a few times when she lifted her head from my shoulder.

When did I get so lightheaded? When did we walk this far on the boardwalk without me even realizing. When did it get fully dark?

"I...I think I need more examples." I practically stumbled, instinctively melting my body deeper against her warmth.

I've never been one to have a vivid imagination. But, for some reason, my mind decided to come alive at her words.

The way she's talking about sex—and so casually—it's something I've never experienced from any woman. It's not the same as locker room talk at work in the morning, listening to my male coworkers speak of their fun nights.

There's something different about this. Different about her words that makes my stomach hot, and my collar feel tight. It feels like her and I are the only ones on this boardwalk, in our own little box.

Feeling her touch my arm and talk like this has my heart racing more than it ever did during any other experience—any experience.

Her voice was addicting. I wanted to hear everything she had to say. About sex. About herself. About every little secret of mystery involving her that I can't figure out.

And then my mind traveled even further than that, truly thinking about something I'd never thought about with anyone else for the first time...

What would she be like during sex?

My breath caught in my throat at even thinking the question, instinctively running my tongue and thumb along my bottom lip in intense thought.

Would she....would she-

I didn't get to imagine it as her voice broke me from my thoughts before they really started.

"Some things can't always be explained." She sighed with mystery, closing her eyes as another ocean breeze ran through her. "Sometimes, it's just a feeling, you know. One you gotta figure out for yourself."

One I have to figure out for myself...

How can I figure it out when I don't understand it?

"But, enough about that. I'm starting to wonder if you ever let loose." Her words came out coy, releasing my arm and walking a few steps ahead of me. "If not during sex, then when, is the question."

Her familiar scent blew back into my face thanks to the wind, making me dizzy as I blindly followed her down the boardwalk—that had somehow become empty without me noticing.

"I don't really have time for that." I said, shoving my hands into my pockets.

She chuckled and turned around to face me, walking backwards just out of my reach.

"What about if its for....uhhh...let's say.....work purposes?" Her smile was sly, seeming like it wasn't really for work purposes like she implied. "Part of being a heartthrob is taking a break and making memories, right?"

Since when aretaking breaks and making memories a work requirement?

But, if it's with The Woman, I couldn't refuse. I told you, she should be required to see me every day.

"Did you have something in mind?" I quirked a brow, looking down at the cracks in the sidewalk without interest.

I just think I'm looking at her too much, and she'll start noticing.

"My best friend Kai is throwing a party tomorrow night to celebrate her new achievement as junior writer for the hero commission." She smiled, stopping her walk until I came closer. "I'm allowed to bring a friend."

"Oh? Which friend are you gonna bring?" I asked genuinely, causing her to sigh and chuckle.

"How about you just pick me up at eight?"

*****

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