Shouto POV:

Sweat began to prick the back of my neck as I approached the stage with Midoriya and Bakugo, but maybe that was just from the bright lights.

They were so bright, I was barely able to see the steps ahead of me, following Midoriya blindly the way I usually do. My speaking card had crinkled in my perspired hand so tightly, I was sure it ripped a little bit now. Would I still be able to read the words on the card? Would I still remember what I was supposed to say?

I...I didn't care. My heart was pounding too hard for me to care. The other hero contestants and I stood along the stage—near the back so whoever would be speaking up front could have their proper turn. Shoulder to shoulder with Midoriya and a hero I didn't recognize, the cameras began to flash brightly.

The people with the 'paparazzi' badges began to yell things at me, and the others. Questions. Comments. I wasn't even sure, really. They all jostled each other, trying to get their own microphone or camera forced to the front, and in this moment, they seemed no different than the villains I fight everyday.

It was overwhelming, but my thoughts were worse. My knees felt ready to buckle at the amount of noise in my head, and immediately, I searched for Lani in the crowd. But, the bright lights didn't allow me to see her. They didn't allow me to see anything, and I...I....

I need to do this. For her. For Lani.

So, even though my chest fell, and everything within my stomach told me not to, I sighed heavily and finally lifted my speaking card into my vision, trying to actually read it this time and absorb what I was required to say—what would apparently change my life after tonight.

I didn't know what that meant. Did it mean there would be no more Lani? Or, if she was there, did it mean she would no longer be there as often? Did it mean we would no longer be alone without Momo in between us? That I'd no longer be able to spend the night at her apartment, or feel her touches? Did it mean she'd stop complimenting me? And running her hands through my hair? And telling me how handsome I was?

Did it mean....

...that she'd no longer have time for me?

I exhaled and this time my breath came out shakier. I've always been a reliant person. Well, actually, I was un-reliant on people for so long, that once I got my first taste of it, I didn't know how to handle it. I've had the same best friends since my first year of high school, and I rely on them a lot. Even if they don't realize it sometimes—even if I, myself, don't realize it sometimes.

Because it's not something I had a lot of experience with growing up, I never know how much to give to people. I...I thought I was giving a lot of myself to Midoriya, and to Bakugo. But, it wasn't until I met Lani that I realized...

There's more to me. This...this whole other side that I didn't know about. That, all this time, I had a lot more to give than what I was sharing with people.

And...I think...because of that...and because of who she is....I've become very reliant on her company. So...the thought of no longer having it...of no longer having the one person who really understands me...

It makes my vision close in like a tunnel. It makes my lungs tighten, and lightheadedness consumes me. Everything feels too big and too small all at the same time. And my heart is pounding so hard that I hear it in my eardrums.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I was too overwhelmed to tense, hearing Midoriya's voice in my ears even if it sounded like I was underwater.

"Shouto...are....okay...?" His words came out choppy and unclear.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened to me. This feeling where....it feels like I'm about to die. I used to get this feeling a lot as a child, whenever I knew I had to train with dad. Whenever I was done training with dad, too. The times became less over the years, but it was never something I....I don't know....outgrew? I still wake up this way sometimes. And...at random times....I feel this way.

And, it usually goes away after a few minutes. But, right now, it's....it's just getting worse.

I opened my mouth, and it felt so dry as I responded to Midoriya. I wasn't even aware of what I said, but it must have been enough to satisfy him as he took his hand off my shoulder and turned to Bakugo.

The microphone tapped again, and the sweat was dripping from my forehead all the way down my temple now as Present Mic spoke.

"Alright! Let's hear it for this year's hero season nominees! Whooooo!!" He exclaimed, gesturing to the row of heroes at the back of the stage.

The stage lights shifted slightly, but not enough as I still couldn't see Lani, only able to see the faces of the hungry paparazzi people as they shouted questions at me.

"These heroes are the finest that Japan has to offer! But, don't take my word for it. Hear it from your favorite hero yourself!" He said to the loud crowd, turning his eyes in our direction now, "Starting with the incredibly amazing hero...DEKU!"

Midoriya let out a garbled sound from next to me as the crowd clapped, and he immediately stiffened like a board, causing Bakugo to scoff and shove his frozen frame forward.

"Good luck." I said to Midoriya, watching his legs walk tensely as if he was on stilts.

Midoriya approached the front of the stage, and with the bright lights, I could only see his feet now, watching them shift back and forth as the clapping continued.

"Alright, Mr. Deku, what is it that you're just dying to tell the lovely people of Japan?" Present Mic asked, causing my face to twist in a bit of horror.

"Dying?" I uttered to Bakugo in question, watching him sneer and grunt at me.

Midoriya was handed the microphone and the clapping quieted down. A ten second silence followed, and Bakugo and I waited to hear him speak, furrowing our brows in confusion when nothing happened.

The microphone made a harsh sound a few moments later that made everyone cringe in ear pain before Midoriya's voice was finally heard, "I-I....s...ss...socks." He stumbled incoherently before his voice cracked and went four octaves higher. "They're..."

Bakugo's face went blank, and I was more confused as I tried to decipher Midoriya Language. Usually when he starts talking about socks, it means he's going to projectile vomit. It's like a code.

The room went quiet enough to hear people's breathing before Midoriya abruptly—and very loudly gagged into microphone, causing Bakugo and I to instinctively flinch at such a violent, sudden sound. He immediately slapped a hand over his mouth—probably to contain the vomit from projectil-ing, before handing the microphone back to Present Mic. After that, he turned on his heel quickly and walked back to his place.

"Ah. That was so scary." Midoriya croaked out quietly when he was wedged between Bakugo and I once more.

"Nice going, dipshit." Bakugo huffed, before I chimed in honestly.

"I thought you did well, Midoriya. You captured their attention, and that's what we're meant to do."

The room was silent for a long time before hesitant claps filled the space, causing Present Mic to clear his throat and smile, "O-Okay! Let's give Deku a hand...for whatever that was. Moving on!"

My stomach filled with something I can only imagine is similar to dread as I knew who the next contestant was, accidentally tearing a bigger line down my speaking card as Present Mic spoke again.

"While it's still early into hero season, this next hero is turning out to be a real favorite already. He's gained over 500,000 followers on instagram in this last month alone!" He said, and now my heart could be felt pulsing throughout my entire body. "And he's already breaking the hearts of many men and women out there. Let's hear it for the cool, calm, and collected hero...SHOUTO!"

With that, the spotlight shifted, and I had to wince my eyes as it became impossibly brighter, trying to shield my vision. My legs felt like anchors as I hesitantly walked towards the stage, and the white noise grew louder when the paparazzi people began yelling at me. It's only instinctual for my mind to shut down when people start yelling at me. It reminds me of my younger days, training with dad. I always used to shut down then, too. And I guess...I never really stopped doing it.

The only thing I could hear now was my own breath and the blood running through my body as the camera flashes went off every millisecond. It felt like time had slowed in motion as I approached the stage, with the lights no longer blocking the view of the audience now that I had moved.

People were standing. They were standing for me and clapping even though I couldn't hear them, but none of it mattered to me. There was just one person I wanted to see. One I ached for within my chest, and I searched the crowd for her immediately.

And I was positive that time stopped altogether when I finally found her, letting out a breath from my trapped lungs at the sight. I...I'd never seen someone so pretty. I've never felt calmed at the simple sight of someone in my whole life, and it was definitely the first time everyone else in the room disappeared like this.

Lani was standing, too. She was standing, and smiling at me, and clapping for me. And then...I realized...

Her presence didn't calm me like I thought it would. It just hurt my chest more. She never seemed so far away at this moment.

I was in front of the microphone now and my hearing hadn't returned to me as the crowd sensed I was preparing to speak, ceasing their clapping before sitting back down. The speaking card trembled in my sweaty hand, but I needed to do it. I needed to do this for Lani. Because it was important to her, and that's all I care about.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. It was the only thing I could hear in my eardrums as I looked away from Lani, trying to ignore the dullness I felt in my future when I directed my gaze to Momo now.

The words had left my throat, but I just needed to read the card. So, with a hard swallow, I looked down and lifted the paper into my vision, speaking into the microphone as best I could.

"Um-" I started out before the microphone made the same grating sound it made with Midoriya. "Thank....thank you...for the honor of...speaking at the Fresh Heroes Banquet."

I could hear my own voice, but somehow I didn't recognize it, alternating my gaze between the speaking card and Lani, "I go by the hero name of Shouto, and...uh....I hope you'll consider me to be your...favorite hero of the year?"

The last part came out more like a question because it was really the first time I was reading it. But, the crowd erupted into loud cheers again and clapped. My heart rate skyrocketed to a dangerous rate as I realized I was getting closer to that part. The part about announcing Momo as my girlfriend. With dizzying vision, uneven breath, and a trembling hand, I continued.

"I....I won't let you down." My voice grew more raspy, realizing there was only one more sentence separating me from my future. "I-I'd like to thank the incredible hero commission for this amazing opportunity, as well as..."

Momo Yaoyorozu. My beautiful girlfriend. That's the last line on the card. The line that's probably going to tie me to Momo for a long time—if not, the entire duration of my hero career.

The banquet venue went so silent, I heard someone drop their napkin, and I opened my mouth to speak, yet no words came out. I feel like I'm going to die.

Lani's words from earlier echoed into my head, and so I lifted my gaze from the speaking card and found her again, seeing she was staring right at me.

Her smile was gone, and this time I was certain her eyes were filled with tears as she waited for me to say the last part. She blinked quickly and looked down at the table once she caught me looking at her, and her brows furrowed like she was.....like she was.....

In pain.

Momo and the rest of the crowd had scooted to the very edge of their seats as they waited for me to finish, but...I couldn't take my eyes off Lani. Because she felt so far away, and I couldn't have her so far away. I couldn't....I couldn't...

I couldn't.

Exhaling a shaky, heavy breath straight into the microphone, I quickly backed away from it without saying the last part, crumpling the speaking card in my hand completely as I briskly walked off the stage. The audience gasped, and I heard Midoriya calling for me, but I didn't stop. I couldn't. I felt out of control, and I was incredibly shaky. I needed to leave the banquet hall. I just needed to go somewhere quiet. Somewhere there was no noise.

Somewhere it wasn't so loud.

Lani POV:

Without looking at anyone, Shouto immediately brushed past our dinner table and out of the banquet hall, causing me to stand up quickly.

"Shouto?" I called out, feeling my heart jump when I realize I hadn't called out for him alone.

Momo had called for him at the same time I did, and she was standing as well, looking back at me in surprise.

I wanted to go after him. I wanted nothing more than to follow him. But, there were too many watching eyes, and most of all, he wasn't my date.

So, feeling the last of my heart breaking in two, I gave Momo a silent, hesitant nod, slowly sinking back down into my chair as she left the table to go find Shouto.

"Ah, two in a row." Present Mic huffed under his breath, not intending to be loud enough for everyone to hear as he quickly laughed it off. "A-Anyyyyways, moving on! Again! Let's introduce our next hero—the, uh, cowboy hero?—if his outfit is anything to judge by. Dynamight!"

Bakugo approached the stage in his cowboy hat and ripped up the speaking card the hero commission provided, causing Mai's face to pale as he gripped the microphone aggressively, "Alright, losers. Listen up!-"

Bakugo began speaking—or, rather threatening the audience and yelling, but I was no longer listening. My heart began to flutter nervously. I didn't know what happened to Shouto up there. I didn't know what he was thinking. All I know was that I felt horrible. Because he saw it, I know he did, and that was never my intention. He saw how I really felt just now. He saw that I wanted to cry. Over him and Momo. He...he looked right at me.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I've always had such a good poker face when it comes to everything else. But, Shouto is my weak spot. I can't hide anything from him, and god, I wanted to go after him. To hug him, and caress him, and tell him everything's going to be okay. To touch his face....and to kiss him. Until he's breathless. Until he knows how much he truly means to me. Until he knows how much I don't want him to be with Momo.

Shouto failed the main objective of tonight, and my career as a publicist was now ruined. But, at this moment, I couldn't care less.

Right now, I just wanted to know if Shouto is okay.

More heroes graced the stage and gave their speeches, and even if it had only been a few minutes, it felt like hours as Shouto, and also Momo never came back. Perhaps they ended up repairing their relationship after all. To be honest, I don't want to think about how I'd feel if that were really the case.

After another agonizing minute of silence, I caved, pulling out my phone and navigating to Shouto's number, intending to text him before I heard a voice behind me.

"Um..." Momo said hoarsely, and I turned around abruptly, seeing her eyes were bloodshot red like she'd been crying.

She spoke quietly as not to interrupt the speeches that were still going on, lip quivering as she said to me, "H-He's in the bathroom at the back of the venue, and....he's asking.......for you."

And, I didn't have time to think about Momo's crying, or how unprofessional it might seem if I'm the one to go after him. All I could think about now was how Shouto needed me—how he asked for me. So I stood up immediately and brushed past Momo, not looking back as I walked out of the banquet hall and practically ran to the bathroom.

The speeches from the stage faded the further I got out of the banquet hall, and they disappeared altogether a few moments later. My heart pounded as I walked down the hallways, thankful they were empty, and I reached the bathroom at the back of the venue like Momo had explained.

Not giving a fuck about the gender labeled on the door, I walked into the men's restroom, hearing the heavy door slam closed behind me as I immediately called out for Shouto.

The place could barely even be called a restroom. It was nicer than the entirety of my apartment with spotless floors, crystal chandeliers on the ceilings, fancy rugs, lavender scented candles—and it was also big enough to hold several expensive sitting couches.

There was even one side that separated the toilets and sinks, and another side with mirrors, embroidered towels and other things, clearly intended as an area for guests to freshen up.

And there was Shouto, on the 'freshen up' side because he tends to take everything so literally. But, right now, he couldn't have looked more unkempt. His suit jacket was discarded on the floor, and he was hunched over the gold sink, with the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. The faucet was running as he splashed his arms and face with icy cold water, panting heavily in a way I recognized very well from my own experiences.

Shouto was having a panic attack. And I feel horrible to know this speech was probably the cause.

God, I'm heartless. I should have known this was too much for him. I should have paid more attention to the silent signs he'd been giving me all night, knowing that speaking in front of all those people was too much—too much for anyone. He probably gets stage fright. I bet that's why he ran off the stage.

"Shouto." I called out again, quickly walking over to him when he didn't look up. "Hey, Shouto."

It was only when I touched him did he finally register my presence, quickly looking up into the mirror and seeing me. I remained touching his shoulder, realizing his muscles were shaking. He was also having a hard time breathing, and his skin was pale.

"Um, Lani..." He panted out softly, and even if his face was still stoic, his eyes were absent and out of control. "I...I think I need an ambulance."

He grimaced slightly and breathed shakily, gripping onto the sink with white knuckles. He squeezed it so tightly, the porcelain cracked a bit, and the last thing he needed was to cut up his hands from shattering it.

I came up directly behind him now and snaked my arms around his shoulders, tracing my fingers down his wet forearms until I reached his painfully clenched hands around the sink.

"Let go, Shouto." I whispered, gliding my thumbs along his knuckles that felt ready to split if he gripped any tighter. "You need to relax your hands."

He shook his head and continued to hyperventilate, and even so, I've never seen someone so calm while having a panic attack. If I didn't know him better, I might not realize it at all, just attributing him to being a little out of breath. It's impressive, really.

"No, I'm....well, I think I'm really having a heart attack this time." He uttered, hunching over a little more. "I...I can't really breathe. And the room....it's, um.....it's spinning?"

From the slight waver in his voice, I could tell he was confused and concerned. I fed off that, not caring about the professional boundaries I continued to break as I gave Shouto everything I currently felt, draping my hands over his own before resting my forehead against his sweaty cheek.

I didn't care about staying away right now, or not exposing my true feelings. I'm too worried.

"It's okay. You're not having a heart attack, Shouto." I whispered, gliding my hands back up his arms until they circled around his midsection. "You're having a panic attack."

His abs clenched under my touch, but I noticed his breaths were coming out just a little less tight from the touches. Even if he was still hyperventilating, his lungs were starting to loosen back up. "Panic?" He asked in confusion. "But...I-I'm not....in fear?"

"You're overwhelmed. And that's a big way to trigger panic attacks." I explained, feeling his abdomen heaving under my light hug. "I get them a lot. I'm going to help you out of it, okay? But, you have to let go of the sink. You have to trust me."

It took a few moments of patience and silence, but Shouto complied and released the sink shortly after—with the porcelain creaking slightly from such intense pressure.

Damn. He's a lot stronger than he looks. Not the time to ogle, I know. But, like....c'mon. That's hot. Alright, I'm done. And those abs—okay, now I'm really done.

He turned towards me now, with his previously styled hair now messily draped over his forehead. I hated the way my stomach fluttered with butterflies from his gaze. It was so honest, so intense, and so focused on me. He made me feel like I was the only person on this planet. That was simultaneously unnerving and exhilarating.

He's the only person who could make me feel small as I uncharacteristically swallowed heavily, dropping my gaze down to his body. But, that didn't help much as his white dress shirt was completely translucent now from the water he poured on himself. The material stuck to the outline of his abs and showed each sculpt of definition.

Focus. This isn't about your hoe-ish needs. Shouto needs help...

Without a word, I draped his arm over my shoulder and hugged his waist tightly with my other hand to make sure he didn't fall, guiding us further into the 'freshen up' side of the room. Instead of the couches, I opted for the fuzzy white rug in the corner, slowly helping Shouto sit on the ground with his back against the wall.

"Ah, there you go." I coaxed softly, taking a seat on the floor right next to him.

But, I didn't stop there as I placed my arm around his shoulders, pulling him into me until his head lulled against my shoulder. He didn't protest, and his breath continued to gradually slow down as I ran my fingers through his wet hair, caressing it and his face.

Like I said, I'm no stranger to panic attacks. But, I never have anyone to help me through them. It's a rough feeling, going through that alone. And I don't want Shouto to feel like that. I want to give him everything I always hoped for during these moments. Everything he deserves.

I inhaled and exhaled deeply, hoping his breath would sync up to mine. It took time, but I was patient, resting my head into his own as he took minutes to calm down. I felt relieved when he finally took a big breath, exhaling heavily, but not shakily anymore.

His body began to uncoil from the tight prison it put itself in, and his head rested more naturally against my shoulder, with Shouto's eyes falling closed as he was nearly recovered now.

"Think of something good." I whispered after the long pass of time, continuing to stroke through his hair even once it was no longer necessary.

His head shifted slightly as he attempted to look at me, but his face only ended up in the crook of my neck. He didn't move it.

"Huh?" He uttered uncharacteristically soft, clearly worn out from the exhaustion his body just went through.

It made him sound so vulnerable, and selfishly, I pulled him in closer, letting my head fall back against the wall in thought, "When I have panic attacks, I try to think of something good." I said. "It helps your mind stop spiraling out of control. Sometimes."

Shouto nodded slightly, with his even breaths continuing to puff softly against my pulse point, "What....what do you usually think of?" He asked.

I looked up at the fancy chandeliers pondering, stroking my fingers along the curve of Shouto's jaw absentmindedly. The truth was, I didn't used to have a lot of good things to think of when I was younger. So, I had to create them myself. I had to go places, and try things, and find peace in areas where it didn't used to exist. Of course, Shouto doesn't need to know all that.

"I think of the ocean because it's peaceful. I think of strawberries with whipped cream because they're tasty." I smiled softly. "Writing because it's fun. My bed because it's cozy. Just...think of something that can bring you peace in times where you think you'll never find it again."

Shouto was quiet for a few heartbeats of time as he pondered, and I was starting to wonder if he was falling asleep from my touches, until he finally spoke.

"Well, I...I think of this moment then." He said, and my heart couldn't stop itself from fluttering.

I knew I shouldn't ask why. I knew in the back of my mind this conversation could lead to something dangerous. But, I was too vulnerable for him right now to care.

"How come?" My voice came out soft and foolishly hopeful.

Shouto's breath was light now, taking a moment of silence to ensure his words were said exactly how he wanted them, "Because....whenever you touch me....I feel....better."

I nodded and tried to hide the smile that crept onto my face, surprised when he continued, "And whenever you speak....it...it makes my head quiet down."

He started shuffling now, and the warmth against my neck vanished as he slowly sat up. I could feel his gaze on me, and he was so close. But, I couldn't bring myself to look at him for fear of what I'd do, keeping my eyes straight ahead.

"And when you're here...." He uttered, voice going just a little more quiet at the sight of my face, "I realize...I have everything I want."

His words simultaneously hurt and healed me.

It was getting impossible to deny what Shouto did to me without even knowing it. The weaker I felt for him, the more insecure I became....the more genuine I became, causing me to laugh him off in a soft scoff and keep my eyes away from him.

"Hah. And people think you don't know how to charm a woman with words." I mused, looking down at my lap now.

Endless heartbeats of time passed as if the two of us had eternity to spend inside this washroom. Shouto scooted closer until his leg nudged against my own. I didn't move.

"You were sad." He said. "When I was on stage, you were sad...and...I didn't know what to do. So I..."

He trailed off, and I furrowed my brows as the pieces started coming together. "Wait. Is that why you had a panic attack? Because I was sad?"

He swallowed heavily and looked down at my lap with me, once again trying to find his words mindfully before saying them aloud.

"Well, I had the....panic attack...because I didn't want to lose you. And...I realize that when I'm around Momo, I....I do lose you." He said, and I felt myself instantly feeling vulnerable.

Jesus, it's not normal for someone to care this much about me—to think so highly of me, and put so much effort into me. And because I don't have experience with it, it's harder to control my feelings. It's harder to say no, to truly reject this human desire of being wanted.

But, I can't do this to him. I'd only hold Shouto back from success. I'd only ruin him. If only I was a better person. Then maybe....just maybe...we might've stood a chance.

I sighed, and now my breath was the one to quiver, starting to pick at my thumbnail nervously. "It's for the best that way. Trust me." I said, but this time, my voice didn't sound as convincing.

Shouto shook his head no and kept his gaze to my lap, watching me pick at my finger absentmindedly.

"It's not, Lani. It's not...for the best." He said, never sounding more certain about anything.

I picked at my thumb harder until he gently placed his hand over mine to stop me. Now my nervous energy didn't have a place to go, but I couldn't find the strength to get up and leave him. I felt even smaller under his gaze, yet it was only because I felt the truth between us starting to slip.

"Shouto..." My voice wavered in a whisper, closing my eyes to hold my resolve.

His hand remained over my own, gently and respectfully, and once again, I could feel his eyes on me even if mine were closed.

"Why were you upset when I was onstage?" He asked, but for once, it seemed like he already knew the answer. "Why...are you always upset...when I'm around Momo?"

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut tighter, "You already know why." I blundered with genuine words, and now my heart began to pound again at the boundaries I knew we were crossing.

But, Shouto didn't seem to care, and for someone who was always such a rule follower, it was so tempting...that he was willing to continue this inappropriate conversation all for me—for us.

"I need to hear it from you." He said, before my eyes finally opened.

I looked at him now. In his eyes. And at his face which was so close to mine. So soft in the dim lighting of the room. It was all I needed to cave, unable to hold back what I've felt for what seemed like ages.

"Because I'm jealous of Momo, Shouto." I said, blunt and clear to ensure he perfectly understood. "I'm jealous and hurt by Momo. Because she has you. And I don't want her to have you."

He's never been able to read social cues well, but for once, he didn't seem surprised by my words. It seemed more like he was confirming them for himself. He immediately shook his head in response, letting me know that it wasn't true.

"She doesn't have me, Lani." He said, letting his gaze alternate between my lips and my eyes uncontrolled.

It was an action he couldn't restrain anymore, and seeing him look at me like that was making it harder for me to restrain myself.

He slowly hovered closer and I looked down at his mouth, feeling my own water so desperately at what I craved.

"S-She needs to..." I trailed off, and suddenly my breath hitched.

Because Shouto had lifted his hand, letting his fingers cup my jaw. He was hesitant and uncertain, not having experience with wanting and showing affection. But, somehow the action still came out so naturally, so genuine as he said...

"She can't."

My lips parted softly, and the breaths from my mouth puffed onto his face now. I lifted my hand to his own, intending to remove it from my face, but the moment I felt his fingers on my cheek, all I could do was intertwine mine with his, gently push his hand closer to my skin, feeling him respond and cup my jaw now.

My eyes went half lidded and he watched me so closely, seeming as if he wanted to memorize the look on my face that was certainly so vulnerable and too honest.

"Shouto, don't do this to yourself..." I croaked out, feeling my resolve crumbling to the floor.

"She'll never have me like you do." He whispered, speaking to my heart in a way no one else ever had.

It was instinctual. I was the one to lean forward, pressing my lips into his own. Because I needed to. Because I physically couldn't have gone another moment without doing so.

And, once again, the electric feeling returned. The cliche one from romance books that I always laughed at—the one I was now certain did exist. Because, my god, it really was a spark, a physical one that ignited just like my lighter, only this was stronger.

It jolted throughout my entire body when I felt the soft warmth of his lips on my own. It took my breath away, blossoming heat and overwhelming passion into my veins.

Shouto's mouth stalled for no more than a second before his lips pushed back, and immediately, a low sound slipped from his throat, one that had my stomach pooling with insurmountable amounts of heat. Because, he's always so stoic, and it was a sound of pure wanting as if he's been thinking about this for ages. It was....it was a moan. A soft one, but a genuine one. And it was the first sound of pleasure I'd ever heard from him.

I was no stranger to kissing, but my heart was pounding into my eardrums like it was the first time. His lips were so soft against my own, his breath dewy as it gently rolled against my skin. Already, it was the sweetest kiss I'd ever experienced.

There was no groping, or an immediate invasion of tongue down my throat. He was so respectful. So sweet. His lips moved slow, but not with a lack of effort. It was to savor the moment. It was to make sure he was doing it right. It was to please me, and that was the thing to make me melt.

I wasn't used to this. To something so slow, and innocent enough to make me fluster.

We had two different energies, but it didn't take long for them to sync together as one.

I matched his pace and went slow with him, because he's only kissed one person before, and it was never because he actually liked her. I wanted him to explore what he liked, and how his mouth naturally moved when he kissed for pleasure. When he kissed because he wanted to—because he wanted me. I wanted to see what that felt like, because I've been dreaming of it for a long time.

His hand cupped my jaw a little tighter as he molded his lips to mine over and over again, breath so heavy as his top lip connected to my bottom one. He was nervous and overwhelmed, I could tell. But, it didn't deter him as he glided his parted mouth along mine, grazing my lip ring with a shudder.

He almost seemed unsure of how far he should take it, and I thought that was adorable.

I snaked my arms around his neck when I sensed he needed direction, taking the lead as I kissed him more sensually now. 'Like this,' my lips told his own, molding to his for longer periods of time, hotter and harder. He followed direction, leaning in until we couldn't get any closer, adjusting his speed a little faster to move perfectly with mine.

My fingers buried into the back of his hair, and I craned my neck to kiss him deeper, letting my tongue swipe out of my mouth now.

Shouto's breath stumbled when the tip of it lashed across his bottom lip, and I tightened my grip on his hair, lightly grazing my tongue into his open mouth and getting my first real taste of him.

I let out a breathless moan at how hot the inside of his mouth was, tasting the hints of champagne and jealousy on him from dinner. The two of us had been watching each other back and forth all night, unable to take the sight of one another on the arms of other people. It was a release that felt so good, bordering orgasmic at finally indulging in what we wanted.

I know he heard my sound, and he clearly liked it based on the gasp that hit my lips, letting a small moan of his own slip to accompany it. His stoicism was failing him as the emotions crept onto his face and into his body language. His reactions made my stomach flip, feeling his hand fall from my jaw until it grazed my outer arm.

Goosebumps dotted my skin. It was the first time an innocent touch like that affected me so much, and my brows visibly furrowed in pleasure, panting my desires into his lungs. He was so perceptive, and his throat hummed a little more unrestrained at my responses to him, holding onto my arm to ensure I stayed as close as possible.

He was so into it, and that only made me feel the same way.

My mouth dropped open further to release another scalding breath into his mouth, gripping his hair until my fingers dug into his scalp. He sighed pleasurably at having his hair pulled, and I couldn't help but hover away momentarily to look at him through hazy eyes, feeling my core pooling with heat at such a pretty sight.

I'd never seen that look from him before. With his mouth parted, and his cheeks flushed, his hair a mess from my fingers, and most of all his eyes rolling back so sensually and lustfully, even if he didn't fully understand it.

Who knew corrupting Shouto Todoroki would be the hottest thing I'd ever seen?

He wasn't trying to be sexy, and he wasn't trying to make a mess of me. He did both of those things naturally, by just being himself. And, if I was being honest, I couldn't believe I had a man like this so down bad for me. He was way out of my league, and I couldn't comprehend it. Regardless, it made my core melt pools of desire into my panties.

"God, you're so attractive, Shouto." I breathed out hotly against his mouth, letting my teeth graze against his bottom lip as I began to get carried away.

His breath hitched at the sharp graze, as it seems that was the first time something like that had happened to him, letting a surprised gasp escape his lips. He gripped my arm tighter like he was trying to ground himself and stop the room from spinning again. Except, this time, it wasn't because he was panicked.

"Ahh. L-Lani...please..." He uttered softly, letting his eyes roll closed as he eagerly hovered back to my lips.

'Please' because he needed more, too. Because it seemed he couldn't take another second without kissing me. I never thought that having someone want me like this would turn me on so much.

He was in a euphoric daze, and I was right there with him.

I met his distance and kissed him again, and this time, his kisses were less sweet and more desperate. And how could that be even more attractive? He was so perceptive of my lips and my actions as his mouth was already more synced up to mine this time, memorizing the way I kissed and adjusting his own technique to match what he was figuring out I liked.

Typical Shouto, probably analyzing this moment to the absolute max inside his head, trying to keep up, trying to improve and follow every instruction my body gave his.

And, he succeeded. He kept up better and he was more fluid with his lips, arousing me further and knowing it. He let his mouth part more and more each time my tongue flicked inside his own, slowly starting to mingle his with mine once he understood better.

His hand slipped from my arm and landed on my waist, and I was the one to move it even lower, absolutely needing him to grab my outer thigh. He listened and grabbed my thigh—gently, as he was still trying to stay respectful in this public place.

My legs shifted into a bent position, causing my dress to unintentionally glide up. I felt the cold air hit my legs, and my lips remained parted against his own as I grabbed his hand, using it to pull the rest of my dress up until his fingers glided along my bare, upper thigh.

"Like this.." I mouthed against his lips patiently. "Don't be afraid to touch me, Shouto. You can do whatever you want with me. I like it rough."

"Like this?" His half lidded eyes gazed into my own, gripping my bare skin still so politely. "I don't....I don't know how to be rough."

I nodded encouragingly to his touches, yanking Shouto closer by his tie until he was practically on top of me. "Don't worry. I'll teach you. I'll teach you everything."

My hand slowly fell from Shouto's as he glided it up my bare skin on his own, feeling me for himself. His brows furrowed like he was about to cum just from feeling up my thigh, and both of us gasped once he reached high enough up my hip to graze the outer waistband of my panties.

I pulled on his tie harder, letting my head fall back so his lips were in line with my throat.

"Fuck. I want you so bad, Shouto. If we were at my place, I'd let you finger me right now." I whispered, chuckling soft and mischievous. "Actually, I'd let you do more than that."

The words alone had Shouto breathing heavier, and he slid his hand higher until the rest of my panties were concealed by my dress, placing his hand on my waist.

"I....I want that." He admitted, and I don't know how such a dirty confession sounded so innocent. "I want to make you feel good. Um—really good, actually."

I bit down on my lip, and he indulged himself more comfortably this time, pressing his lips back to mine of his own accord now. My heart fluttered as he took initiative, feeling his own tongue flick against my bottom lip for the first time. He mimicked it exactly how I showed him, and he did it perfectly. Maybe even better.

He's always been a fast learner.

Now I was the one to moan as I let my mouth fall open, barely feeling his tongue slip inside-

Knock-knock-knock!

Shouto and I both jumped this time at the loud knocking that sounded from the door, and it was enough to startle me out of my haze, immediately looking up in panic.

"Shouto?" Momo's voice came out muffled from the other side of the closed door. "Shouto, are you in there? I-I can't come in because this is the men's bathroom—are you okay? You've been in here for almost forty-five minutes now."

Oh. Fuck.

*****

A/N: finallyyyy! Been wanting to share this chapter with you for months. Hope you enjoyed the kiss! Plenty more where that came from 😉

As a little treat, I posted some free ART on patreon of shouto and Lani at the banquet. Check it out! Link to it will be in my most recent announcement. You can also look in my bio for the link.

For Wattpad and ao3, Bad Habits WILL be on break next week.