AN: I don't know what exactly this is. I don't think it counts as a oneshot because it's so short and there's no dialogue, and the thought process is all over the place. I guess it's kind of a character study? I'm not really sure, I just know that I love Julia Trojan and this is what came out of that.

Julia tried not to talk about the things she'd gone through around the guys. At first, she didn't even do it consciously. She just noticed that she was stopping herself any time she thought about missing Michael, or the nightmares that she had, or the thoughts about war that plagued her mind, despite the fact that she hadn't seen it firsthand.

It wasn't as though she thought the rest of the band wouldn't care, she knew they would - or at least, they would pretend to. It all just seemed so trivial, comparatively. She had only lost her husband. She hadn't been shot, she hadn't been held captive, and she hadn't seen half of the things any of them had seen. So, it didn't seem right to talk about missing Michael, when they were dealing with so much more than that.

But then, that night standing on the street corner, listening to Donny describe what she'd wanted to hear for so long, she could see it.

She could see Michael throwing the grenade. She could see Donny dropping his. She could see the explosion.

It wasn't exact, she knew it wasn't. But she could see it in her mind, she could hear it, and it was too much.

She could hardly look at Donny. She didn't know what she was thinking. Even then, though, there was a small part of her that said she was being selfish. That she hadn't been there, she'd only heard about it - after asking to hear about it, no less - and that Donny was probably hurting. No, she knew he was hurting.

But then there was the other part of her. The part of her that was imagining her husband being destroyed. The part of her that was finally hit with the realization that Michael was dead, because he was gone, his body was gone. That part of her that realized that she was standing next to the man who did it.

So, she left. She didn't say anything intelligent, she didn't confide in him, she didn't let him explain himself. She couldn't. Because she needed to cry, she already was crying, and she didn't want to do that in front of him.

So, she left.