CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR:
THE IMDB

(Once again, I couldn't find a gif so this ain't a gif! Don't wait for it to load!)

After hours of inappropriate but very much appreciated pets and coos, Ray decided to leave the house.

Unfortunately, it was to take out the dog for a walk.

It meant peeing while looking into the eyes of his lover's sister's husband awkwardly, something they'd both rather not do but there is no escaping it. While they were at it, Jason left a big present for Ray which he picked up with a plastic bag while cursing Jason. He knew his gift would be well received!

When they came back Allison had already left for work and so with a pat on the head and instructions to not destroy the house followed by a sigh which Jason translated to 'I'm talking to a dog! He's not gonna get it' (offensive) Raymond left the house to go do his own thingy.

Jason —Chew-Barka— sat behind the door while wagging the tail, before he shook his head and snapped out of the longing for bestie dog phase and turned into a human (naked of course, how else).

"Gosh," he said as he cracked his back and fingers, and wow, so many cracks, "I would do anything for a pizza right now."

Which is how a pizza delivery found its way to the chestnut house and was met with a very happy naked child watching Gerald Mcboing-Boing. He ran away before he could get his money and shouted for him to just leave him alone and have mercy.

Jason only shrugged and picked up his pizza —no pineapple on top— before going back inside to watch tv.

Gerald Mcboing-Boing's IMDb was 7/10 which Jason —and the narrator— found outrageous and demand that it gets at least a 10.

No one knows how Jason got internet and a smartphone and Gerald Mcboing-Boing but we're not going to question him or the writer.

Allison was the first to arrive, she took one of the remaining pizza slices and patted Jason on the head before going upstairs. Shortly after, Raymond came home to find the dog innocently sitting next to an empty box of pizza that had 'the dog didn't order this' written on the inside of it and Johnny Bravo playing on the tv. The human male looked from one thing to the other before blinking and moving on. He would fit perfectly in the chaotic Hargreeves household.

Chew-Barka followed him in the kitchen as he shouted if Allison had seen the paper today --which was very rude, at least say 'hello honey, I love you' first-- and sat patiently as Allison came down the stairs like the fucking Queen she is in a nice yellow dress.

They started being grossly in love.

Jason was Allison's biggest fan and he would fight anyone who claimed they were her biggest fan because she was an icon and he had a PowerPoint ready in case someone disagreed.

Anyways back to Ray-ray and Ally, apparently, he got her a book with 'moon' in the title. Ouch.

He can't wait for Raymond to leave.

—ᴥ︎—

Five landed in the past only to be met with the sight of a war going on and his siblings plus lover wrecking havoc and absolutely destroying the enemy. Unfortunately, they couldn't do much about the bomb that went off resulting in yet another apocalypse.

Thankfully it was a Monday (I looked it up) and as we're all aware, small miracles do happen on Mondays. Occasionally.

The small miracle came in the form of a not-so-small but older Hazel, who told Five to shut the fuck up and take his fucking hand because if you haven't noticed, we don't have much time.

Five took held the hand.

Hazel told him what was going on, and Five said "I'm not good at history but I don't remember the world ending in 63."

Yeah dude, neither do we. History books need to update their books asap this is some serious shit they're sleeping on.

Long story short, Hazel died. Some Malfoy wannabes came in and shot him but not before he shoved Five away but also not before the briefcase turned into a Colander.

(F)

And now Five had to stop yet another apocalypse and he had like ten days. And a dude who was obsessed with the alley he landed in.

Elliott nearly had a heart attack when the teenager trying to sell him an encyclopedia not seconds ago appeared in his house and started spouting nonsense about time travel and powers and the end of the world.

He should just start walking around like a lunatic and scream 'The end is nigh!'
F\

From what Five gathered, All of the siblings plus a weird dog had landed at random times. He found out Diego is now considered a lunatic -no surprise- and has landed himself a place in the local asylum.

Saying the meeting went horrible would be an understatement.

Where is Jason, he's very helpful in these kinds of situations.

Anyways, Diego tried to play time-traveler and prophet and people looked at him and said 'Yup, he's crazy.'

After hours of looking, Five finally found Luther.

He gave a beautiful speech about friendship, about knowing how bad it was to be alone, in a time and place where you had no one and how the world was going to end and they had to save everyone-

"I don't give a shit."

Well, okay. Fuck you too.

—ᴥ︎—

Allison and Raymond left him alone at home with strict orders to not do anything bad.

Define 'bad'.

They had an important thing to attended to and so Jason was free to resume his legendary marathon and started watching the original Scooby-Doo.

Huh, thinking about it, he was kinda like Scooby-Doo. Solving mysteries and saving the day. He also used one percent of his shaggy power for all of this which made him better than Scooby-Doo.

They came back late at night, and without any word, they cuddled in front of the tv. Jason sighed and joined them and snuggled against Allison, both for comfort and warmth.

He could be a dog for another day or so.

But please, for the love of every god out there, let him and Allison have a moment so he can finally eat those yummy cheeseburgers he ordered.

—ᴥ︎—

BONJOUR!

How y'all doing????
Hopefully you're doing good and staying hydrated.

Sorry for the late update i writen't
UwU

[Memes]

Anyways I watched suicide squad and it was dcs best movie yet (besides the holy trinity)

Also, I have two links in my bio
One is a server for the umbrella academy
And the other is my own which is dead but eh join if you wanna and let's chat or sth