CHAPTER TEN:
THE COFFEE

When Jason woke up, he was hangover. Years of drinking without any real consequence made it so his tolerance for alcohol was high and his hangovers weren't as severe as they should've been. But he still had hangovers. And he didn't like them.

So that's how he found himself in his dog form — not ready for the big reveal — hangover and laying on the table near Klaus, who was absentmindedly petting him while his other hand held a guitar.

"Where's Vanya?" Allison, who Jason has come to know is a big Hollywood star, said as she entered the kitchen.

"Oh, she's gone," Klaus said and booped his nose and then resumed his petting.

Five stopped his search for decent coffee, "that's unfortunate."

"Yeah." Allison agreed.

"An entire square block, 42 bedrooms 19 bathrooms but not a single drop of coffee," Five finished his earlier sentence, looking Allison straight in the eye.

Jason lifted his head and whined, which translated into something like 'dude! You're rich!'

Klaus hummed, "I guess."

Jason looked at Klaus weirdly, does he speak dog?

"Dad hated caffeine."

"Well he hated children too and he had plenty of us!" Klaus set his guitar aside and tugged on Jason until he was in the human's arm, being held tight.

Jason felt content and closed his eyes, willing his hangover to leave him alone.

He wished he could pepper spray hangover.

Five looked at him, not impressed with how comfortable he was being with his brother but then rolled his eyes and gave him a quick pat and received a small lick.

Allison looked between them.

Five sighed before looking at Jason, "come one, we're taking the car."

Klaus opened his arms so Jason could jump on the floor and follow Five, "where are you going?"

"To get a decent cup of coffee," he said it like it was a very known fact, and whoever didn't know it was stupid, — like not knowing the earth went around the sun.

"Do you even know how to drive?" Allison asked skeptically.

"I know how to do everything, besides I'm not driving, Jason is," he said before he opened a portal for himself and Jason, who followed happily.

Klaus stood up, "I feel like we should stop them, I don't think it's wise to let a dog drive. But then again I kinda wanna see what happens."

They heard a car starting and Five's sarcastic comment, "I see you remember how to turn on a car!"

And then the car left.

Allison looked at Klaus, "I think he really decided to let the dog drive."

For their information the dog was a great driver when he had human hands —he once tried to drive as a dog, but they don't talk about that— and they safely arrived at their destination.

Five had grabbed some clothes for him and he changed in the car so he wasn't walking around naked. Five thought about everything.

They went to Griddy's Doughnuts with Five acting like his GPS.

It was empty and when Five rang the bell another man walked in and shortly after a woman who Jason presumed was the owner walked in, "sorry, sink was plugged, so, what will it be?" She directed her question at the man, which Jason found offensive.

He was clearly the most handsome man in this room and he deserved to be asked first before everyone else.

The man ordered something which Jason didn't notice because he was too busy being offended but he did hear the woman then saying, "Can I get the kids a glass of milk or something?"

Milk?!

Five smiled, "The kid wants coffee. Black. "

Jason grinned, "Can I have hot chocolate with whipped cream? And some chocolate pieces in it? Please?"

The lady looked between them before turning to the man and chuckled, "cool kids."

Five did a very creepy smile showing all -and I mean all of his teeth. Jason grimaced and then scooted away from Five for safety.

You never know if the person sitting next to you is a serial killer or not.

The lady was as creeped out as Jason, maybe even more, and left to get them their orders.

"Don't remember this place being such shithole, we used to come here when we were kids, eat donuts until we puked." Five said and looked around.

"It's nice, don't be rude!" Jason slapped him lightly on the arm and then sat backward, leaned back on the counter, and popped his arms on it, "it has a very nice murder-y vibe to it. Like I can kill 15 men here with nice music on."

The man looked at them with wide eyes, the paper in front of him long forgotten.

The lady came back with their orders and then went back for the man's order.

Before Jason could ask how they were gonna pay, the nice man next to them paid for it, "I got theirs."

"Thanks."

"Thanks!"

Five then proceeded on asking the man some questions which Jason blocked out and instead focused on the hot heavenly chocolate in-front of him. He started lightly licking the whipped cream and then despite it being burning hot, took some sips, "Ah! Who's a good chocolate? You are!" He took another sip and then moaned.

Five ignored him, used to his weirdness but the man side-eyed him while he continued to talk to Five.

Jason sipped until nothing was left and when he looked up he saw the man had left. So he shrugged and then tried to sneakily take Five's coffee while he was distracted.

And distraction came in the form of men walking in the diner with guns.

"That was fast, thought we had more time before they found us."

Jason completely ignored them and side-eyed Five, looking for the opportunity to steal the mug.

"Okay let's all be professionals about this, yeah?" They had guns pointed at their heads, "on your feet's and come with us."

"Can I order another hot chocolate before we go?"

He was ignored. Typical.

He huffed and crossed his arms. He even pouted for good measure.

They wanna talk."

"I have nothing to say."

"It doesn't have to be this way, you think I wanna shot some kids? Get all that on my conscience?"

"Oh I would worry about that," Five took a hold of his mug making Jason frown.

So close...

Five then looked up at the man, "you won't be going home. He then took a knife and portal-jump killing the dude.

Jason, happy with the disturbance going around him, quickly took the mug and started sipping happily, "heaven."

Behind him men were dying, but who cared? He had his subject of dreams.

Five spread on the table next to him, in the draw me like one of your French girl's poses and called out, "hey assholes!" And portaled himself and Jason away before they could be shot with bullets.

Would Jason be like Tom and Jerry? Just leaking coffee everywhere? How sad. Jason thoughts as he sipped the coffee mid portal jump.

Five left him behind the counter before jumping outside, knocking on the glass, and gaining the attention of the men.

One of them screamed as he was impaled with the handle of a broom like a vampire and another one when he was impaled with a pen to his very sensitive parts and then screamed louder when the pen went in his eye.

Jason peeked over as he drank the coffee and could faintly hear Istanbul (Not Constantinople) by They Might Be Giants playing in his head. A banger.

He bobbed his head to the rhythm and sipped his nectar; all while watching Five being a total badass and killing everyone with cool moves.

Not that he couldn't be cooler, between killing and drinking hot bean juice? Yeah, coffee will always come first.

Besides, he had Five here to kill them for him. No need to dirty his clothes.

Soon, no one was left and the once nice diner was a total mess.

Five came over and looked down at a grinning Jason, then sighed, "come one, we're leaving."

Five, took out his tracker and mentioned for Jason to do the same and then walked normally to the door while Jason skipped, stopped looked at a man who was alive, snapped his neck, and then started skipping again.

They dropped their trackers outside the diner.

And walked away like badasses.

—𖧷—
Bonjour!
How have you all been?

(Has Anyone from invisible noticed how I don't talk here as much as I do there? Weird)