CHAPTER TWELVE:
THE EGG

"Well, this is not good."

The eyeball was a total bust. Meritech was shit.

"Woof!"

"Yeah, I'm hungry too," Klaus petted the dog and they share a look.

Klaus and Cookie Monster were on their way to becoming besties. They were doing telepathy talks now!

"I was pretty good tho right?" Klaus asked after a moment and turned his back on Cookie Monster.

Jason decided telepathy was cool, but have you ever talked like a human? much easier communication. So, with Klaus' back to him, he used the opportunity and became human.

Five who was looking at Klaus didn't even blink, he just opened a portal and took out the Dog Bag out of it, and tossed it to Jason, who quickly started dressing.

Klaus didn't even notice, he was waiting for Five to agree with him being awesome, "Yeah what about my consent, bitch!"

"It was pretty cool!" Jason said and grinned.

Klaus looked at him and then looked around, he did the math (no dog+some boy= the dog is a boy) and oh-ed, "Dam, gotta thank my dealer."

"Klaus it doesn't matter," Five said and moved a little closer to Jason, who had crouched down to tie his shoes.

"What- what, what's the deal with this eye anyway?"

"We took it from a dude in a bar fight!"

"Really?" Klaus sounded excited.

"Yeah, we're trying to track them down and take their other eye-"

"Jason!" Five said making the other member of the 'yay-we-survived-the-apocalypse-now-kill-me' shut his mouth, "There's someone out there who's going to lose an eye in the next seven days, they're going to bring the end of life on this earth as we know it."

"Can I get my twenty bucks now?"

"Your twenty bucks?"

"Yeah, my twenty bucks."

"Am I getting twenty bucks?"

Five stared at them, "The apocalypse is coming and all you can think about is getting high?"

"Well, I'm also quite hungry, tummy's a-rumbling -- grrr" he imitated his stomach growling and then grinned at Jason and Five.

Five stared at him with cold, dead eyes, "You're useless."

"Hey!" Jason protested, "He's not completely useless, he just did something in there!"

"You're all useless!"

"Oh come on!" Klaus groaned, "You need to lighten up old man."

Five went and sat down on the stair and Jason and Klaus followed him.

"Hey, you know," Klaus pointed a finger at Five, "I just realized why you're so uptight. You must be horny as hell!"

Jason looked at Five and narrowed his eyes, "You horny?"

"All those years, by yourself, with a dog, It's gotta screw with your head, being alone."

Five looked at Jason and then at Klaus, "I wasn't alone and I'm not a virgin."

"You're not?" Klaus sounded like he could barely believe his ears, "Who?"

"Yours truly," Jason said and grinned.

Klaus grinned back, "Nice! Who topped?"

Jason opened his mouth to answer but Five stopped him by putting his hand against Jason's mouth, "No."

Jason grinned and-

"Did you just- you licked me!" Five said in disgust and wiped his saliva-covered hand on Jason's shirt.

"Not the first time I've licked you, and if you wanted to feel me up you just had to ask."

"Why do I like you again?" Five asked with a sigh.

"You don't-"

"yeah."

"-You love me!"

Five shoved him away causing Jason to bump into Klaus and made them both laugh like idiots.

"You're useless." Five said again, this time sounding defeated.

"egg-" Jason said

Klaus grinned, "-actly!"

"Besties!"

Five facepalmed, "We're leaving," and without waiting for an answer he took Jason's hand and wooshed into a passing taxi.

"Don't stop, just keep going," Five calmly said to the panicked driver, who nodded and kept driving.

Jason grinned, "That's eggsactly what you said last night-"

"You're sleeping on the couch tonight."

Jason pouted, "But Fiorello-"

"No."

They drove by where Klaus was and Five waved at Klaus who was shouting at them.

"His twenty bucks-"

"No!"

—ᴥ︎—

After some alone time, they sat and thought about what to do next and found their next mission.

So, that night, when every normal person would be asleep, they wooshed into their local store-thing.

They looked at some clothes, Five stole a flashlight, they looked at mannequins until-

until they found Dolores.

"Dolores."

"Dolores!"

She stared at them, not impressed.

"We missed you," Jason tried to soften her up, but she was not going to change her mind, she's mad at them and she's not going to talk-

Gunfire!

And they're suddenly under attack.

Five pushed them to saftly, wooshed them somewhere else in the store before he wooshed to go fight the bad guys.

Jason shifted and went right for the legs.

"The dog!" one of the baddies shouted and tried to kick Jason, but He in an act of awesomeness avoided the kicks and the bullets.

Suddenly, Five was there, he wrapped a hand around Jason's collar and wooshed them a little further. He had a bag over his shoulder with Dolores in it.

She was not enjoying this at all.

Jason changed back, not caring that he was naked when two masked baddies were shooting at them, "Get us out of here Five."

Five gripped his hand tightly and went to portal away, but a moment after they were still where they were, being shot at.

"Five!" Jason whisper-shouted, panicking. They were caught off guard, they were tired both emotionally and physically, and they were weaponless.

They had no chance of defeating the masked duo like this. They needed to leave.

"I- I can't!" There was a hint of panic in Five's voice, he tried to hide his panic but he couldn't hide anything from Jason.

"Okay- that's-- that's okay we can-" And then they were once again, under attack.

They jumped over a stand but before they could do anything the duo stood on the other side of the stand with their guns pointed at them.

Jason and Five stilled, holding their breaths and waiting to be filled with bullets when they suddenly heard sirens. The masked duo took their eyes off of them for a second and when they looked back Jason and Five were gone.

They had vanished.

"Fuck," one of the masked duo said before they left.

On the other side of the stand, crouching down and holding each other's hands, Jason and Five breathed in relief.

"Let's get out of here, now," Jason took control and helped Five to his feet. He took the bag from Five and lead him outside. Careful of the police on the lookout.

"You're naked," Five said softly and then took off his jacket and handed it to Jason.

Jason smiled at him before giving him the bag and putting on the jacket. It wasn't long enough to cover the important parts, but it kept his shoulders warm.

It wasn't a long walk to the academy-- or maybe it was and they in their haze didn't notice the distance-- but they went inside and headed straight for Five's room.

On the way, They saw Luther and Allison, headed-- somewhere. Jason was dead on his feet and Five was even worse.

"Five? You okay? Who's that?"

One of them asked, Jason's brain couldn't tell the difference. So they ignored the two and walked to Five's room

—ᴥ︎—

Yes.
I finally updated.

Let's all thank MoodyElena for the egg idea.

She was to be blamed for my late update but she helped so now I guess we can't blame her.

Maybe some other day.

No fuck that-
Blame her
She just PRESSURED ME TO PUBLISH-