Author Note
Hey guys! I did another all-nighter to get them out tonight 😭 Sorry for any mistakes! I hope you guys enjoy them. I had more but they still need some editing so they'll be out next week. Stay safe 🖤🤍

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FUCK ME. Please just fuck me.

Why couldn't I catch a break? Cracked slivers of hot anxiety oozed across my scalp, as I rammed my fist into the rocky wall, dirt and debris sprinkling everywhere. I couldn't do this without her. Tini. I need you. Please.

No matter how much I called her, only emptiness and loneliness answered back. Please.

"I wonder how many times I can make you oink before you cry?"

Every word glissaded across my face like water droplets on melting ice, every syllable making me shiver, bringing me back to our first encounter in the tunnel.

TINI! I screamed for her, putting every ounce of anguish and grief that I could muster into her name. Still nothing.

"Hahahaha — scream all you want, piggy. I'll have you oinking all over my skin later."

They continued to mock and cackle at me, their robotic voice echoing around the enclosed space, consuming every square foot.

The darkness made everything worse, heightening all my other senses, making me feel like they were everywhere all at once. I closed my eyes and punched the wall again, not knowing what to do. "Just f-fuck me," I whispered, sliding my forehead against the dirty wall.

Be careful what you wish for, Betty White. This Porky pig loving pop tart just might try that, and then we have a whole other issue on our hands. Ugh, it was just a figure of speech! And I was leaning toward the thirteenth contestant being a girl.

That doesn't change anything. Have you never seen a sex toy before? Of course, I have!! Aggressive, much? You may have seen one, but you certainly haven't USED one based on your current attitude. Might I recommend — please please please do not finish that statement. I really don't want to know your favorite sex toy. What? Just trying to add some humor to our lives before we die. We're not going to die. If I get Tini back, we'll be fine. 

She wouldn't just abandon me like this. She'd come. She always did.

Closing my eyes again, my mind delved downward like a crisp drill, swimming through my inner cavities, searching for Tini like a scuba diver exploring the Atlantic. Raw hope pearled in my chest, thinking that if I reached the bottom she'd be there, smiling at me. Telling me it was all just a joke, and here she comes.

That fantasy crumbled faster than a sloth's dream to become an Olympic runner. I jabbed at the wall again, thinking the pain would keep me from falling apart completely. Tini. Please come.

A piercing oink ricocheted through the open tunnels, making my heart leap into my pelvis, fingers numbing. I need you, Tini. More than I ever needed you before.

I waited for her to come — to burst into my head and say some rude, funny greeting, but only silence hummed in the blank spaces of my mind. 

Tini wasn't coming.

That cruel realization made every cell in my bloodstream freeze, my breath coming out in short airy spurts.

Tini wasn't coming. I was alone.

The harsh pitter-patter of footsteps stomping on mucky terrain vibrated behind me, causing a sharp sting to slice up my belly. I jerked my back against the wall, staring out into the blackness as sweat poured down my cheeks, my mind racing.

"Now, now, don't look so gloomy, piggy. SMILE! I am."

A demented, condescending laugh resonated through the damp atmosphere, reminding me of static television and thunder mixed together.

Patches of bumps sheeted my forearms from the abrasive static, my body remembering the past inflictions that they did to me — the cutting, the burning, the tortuous agony...

Everything hurt so bad, everywhere. I couldn't go through that again. I couldn't. I wasn't s-strong enough — my chest began to burn like someone let off a feverish sparkler, fresh tears stabbing at my eyes.

"Didn't you hear me, piggy? SMILE! Didn't we have fun together the first time? Well, this time will be even better because it'll be our last time."

A sinister yet joyous tone laced every letter of their statement, emphasizing on the word fun. Digging my nails into my thin skirt, microscopic bubbles bobbed in my throat, knowing everything we did together wasn't fun to me. More horrifying and traumatic.

You're scared. Am not! Just... cautious. You know I'm in your head, right? You can't really lie. Shut up. Just admit you're afraid. You're shaking. It's c-cold. You lost to them before so — so you're rubbing it in? Now?!

Look. Not everything I say to you is an attack. I'm just trying to get you to relax because I don't want to die. If YOU want to survive this, you'll need to have a clear head. They want you scared and overly emotional. It makes you easier prey.

Her words rang true, but I couldn't help it. My insides whipped around in my tummy like loose hair strands in the wild wind, wiggling around with no clear direction.

I was so pathetic. I got myself into this, trudging into dangerous waters alone when I should've waited for my team. I let my curiosity take over, and now I was in over my head.

An inkling of violent shame flushed the back of my tongue. I was done. I lost to them before, and I would lose again.

Don't be scared.

A part of me didn't want her to see my fear — my weakness, my vulnerability, because she might use it against me. I didn't trust her.

But those words of hers sounded so genuine and sanguine like a feather of light in a room full of spooky shadows. It was familiar. It made me feel less alone, which made me involuntarily crack open like a glass cookie jar smashing into jagged brick, revealing my true feelings. 

I'm scared. A high-pitched whimper fluttered from my lips when the heavy thud of steps thumped in the far distance, slowly getting closer. Tini's always been here. No matter what — t-through e-everything. W-whatever I couldn't do, she did and now I don't have her a-anymore, and I do-do-don't don't—... A ferocious sob humped at the back of my esophagus, fingers rubbing against the stony wall.

She may be gone, but you have me. Whether you like it or not, we're — I don't know what to call us. Triplets? Sister wives? We're n-not sister wives. We'd have to be married to the same man. One day we'll be. Unless we all decide to date different people. That just sounds complicated. Well, I nominate Sebbie as our main man then. We don't need anyone else. I'm not — why are we even talking about this now? I'm trying to get your mind off the current predicament and get you to understand that you can depend on me. I can't though. You're unpredictable — dangerous.

You told Yaz that people can change, so why can't I? Cause you tried to kill Jookie like um FOUR DAYS AGO? You go rogue and don't listen. We can't control you. You can't control Tini either. But she's getting better. Chica, stop. Did you not see Gmie? That bony popsicle is all kinds of messed up. And how many times did she fight Bae? Lest not forget her demented lust for Jookie? That alone speaks volumes — okay. That all may be true, but we've been together for years. We're siste — Your sisters. I get it. I'm nothing. I'm just the black sheep stepsister who fucked the horny married pastor and got knocked up and shipped off to a nunnery to have his ugly big-headed baby. I'm the embarrassment. The fuckup. Thanks for confirming that I don't matter. Cheerio.

Even though her tone resembled black diamond, sincere hurt tangled each sentence. It reminded me of the hurt I used to sometimes hear in Tini's voice when I pushed her away all those times, burying her constantly.

Strings of vicious guilt braided the lining of my intestines. I only did that to keep Tini safe though. That's why she created me. I was just doing what she subconsciously wanted me to do. It wasn't personal.

And with her, she just came and took over—...wait. I paused, going back to when she first appeared.

She didn't just come. Tini called to her because she needed her. Because she could protect her. Something I couldn't do at that time. Tini was at her lowest point during the Rucker game, and I wasn't able to provide the security she needed. But she could.

That revelation was like a blinking bulb in my chest. We were one of the same, me and her. Doing the same thing but in different ways. I didn't understand her totally. Probably never would, but I understood enough. I understood how it felt to be outcasted for just being who you are, and I was doing the same thing to her, something I vowed I'd never do.

I'm sorry. Huh? I don't remember much about our past together or even burying you really, but everything I do is to keep Tini safe. And I guess you have the same goal, but you make my goal harder. And that's annoying, and we'll probably never get along, but you're not some stepsister—

"You're boring me, piggy. I think I'm gonna start the fun now."

Shrill booms billowed across the dusty burrows. The rockbound barriers surrounding me shuddered like a weaning heroin addict, the ground rumbling like an angry, hungry beast. The sodium light above kept flickering on and off like it was speaking Morse Code.

All this movement flung my body every which way, clumps of musky earth and stone tangling in my curls. My heart thrashed in my mouth like a trapped hyena. I yelled, ramming my back against the wall, arms wrapping around my body like it was the only thing left to keep me safe.

Everything blurred into one, the darkness and the unknown mixing, making me feel like I was five again and there was a monster under my bed. But this time there wasn't a parent or sibling to turn on the light and tell me everything was going to be okay.

"Scared yet? Oink for me, piggy. OINK! Make it sound wet and delicious."

A piece of rock fell from the quivering walls and smacked me in the head. I dropped to my knees, arms over my head, panting, trying to fight against the overwhelming fear and defeat filling me.

How could I beat someone who controlled everything around me?

Everything I do is to protect Tini too, and I vowed to protect every part of her and that includes bag ladies as well, meaning you. I-I really c-can't take — get up. I can't take over because Tini's not here, but I can give you moral support. I know I make fun of you a lot — I mean it's not hard. You're like a walking loser sign.

I coughed, holding back the tears that were teetering on my lids. Thanks. Make sure you're never a life coach or a therapist. Just being honest. You're book smart, but you lack some common sense. But even so, you're one of the baddest bitches I know. You're intelligent. You see and catch things that others don't. You survived all those challenges — the spinning cake, Big Bertha. You fought Aries and Demo. Gmie tried to jump you and kill you and you made it through that. You can do anything when you set your mind to it, Betty Boop.

Of course, you're still not better than me. Everyone says I'm an A1 fighter and killer who's probably on par with James Bond and Rambo — you're literally the only one who says that.

As I was saying, this toaster streusel peon is manipulating you into acting this way. Where's that cheeky girl who was reading Tiran like a book? Your enemy can only beat you if you let them. Yes, they won round one, but there's always a round two.

I wiped my cheeks, sniffling.

Tim raised us to fight. And....

"I better damn well fight," I whispered, remembering the soreness in my limbs from Tim's training. He trained me for moments like this — moments when he wouldn't be around, and I needed to survive on my own.

You really think I can beat them? Honestly, no. Then why'd you give that amazing speech, going on and on about my strengths? So you'd stop ruining my precious face with your ugly crying. Like seriously? We're going to be seventeen years old with frown lines. My Sebbie can't see me like that.

Seriously? I'm going to — kidding, Betty Ford. When you get angry at me, you stop getting scared. That's true. So you really do think I can beat them? Nope. But we can probably think of a plan to help you escape. You suck at moral support. Never work with children. Ugh, I hate those dirty little chitlins anyway. I got a plan — get naked. What?

A giant bang went off in front of me, sending rocks and other filth flying at my face. I lurched to my feet and stared over the ledge to follow the explosion, the dimming sodium light barely keeping a glow.

Nothing was there. Just desertedness and shadowiness draping everything. But inside, I knew something threatening lingered somewhere down there, waiting to strike.

"Aww who knew piggy was such a paranoid, scaredy baby?"

They cackled, sending another piercing boom through the atmosphere.

"Would a song make you feel better? There once was a piggy named Bet, oink, who owed a really big debt, oink, she thought she could forget, oink, until she heard my threats, oink, she tried to regret, oink, but little did she know, oink, I always collect, OINK."

They laughed again, making the walls shake.

Wow. They really think they're funny. I swear some people really should've just been swallowed by their mom.

"You heard that, piggy? Time to collect."

The way they said collect made my stomach twist, melting away my newly found confidence.

"Fear is nothing but false evidence appearing real," Tim said in my head, carving through my negativity. "Never let it stop you from surviving. Fear nothing, and no one."

I missed him so much. I wished he were here with me. We made a promise when I was fourteen, when he thought he might've had to return to the marines, to never worry about each other. That we'd always find a way back to each other. No matter what.

I would make my way back to him. I couldn't succumb to my feelings. Being afraid wouldn't help me survive this, and there was nothing to fear about them. They were just another person. They could hurt and die just like me. Yes, they had a huge upper hand, but I could still fight or think of a plan to escape. I couldn't give up like this, not after everything I went through.

I also had to get back to my team. We were a family. I couldn't go out like this. We promised we'd leave this place together and that we'd always make it back to each other.

I just hope I was strong enough to keep those promises.

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