Jakes’s P.O.V

I enter my room while my fingers run through my hair as I let out a frustrated sigh. Steadily, I push myself to my body length mirror and peek at my reflection “what’s wrong with you man?” I murmur as I direct the question to myself. I can’t control myself, I couldn’t even have a normal conversation with her because every time I try, she’s going to look into my eyes, and I will lose control of myself. I just can’t believe that I let her see me cry, I hate it that I hurt her, and I don’t think I will ever forgive myself, ever.

Well, it turned out that the breakfast was not special but humorous, maybe I should buy her flowers or I don’t know because I am not good at this and I had never been. I have never gotten a chance to date even in my high school years because my dad told me that women will use you for their pleasure and your money. Once they are done with you and bored already, they move on to another better guy than you may be with the physique or maybe more money.

A shower will do at my state right now, plus I didn’t take one this morning before I rushed out to buy her clothes. I am inside my shower and the water is calming my tensed muscles due to the current situation, my dad, Samantha as a missing person who is in my house right now. When I was out earlier this morning, I heard the radio’s news reporting a missing 20-year-old black girl from Kempton park with both her parents, and they were last seen on the second of this month which makes them miss for three weeks full since today it is the 23rd. When I was trying to ignore that I bumped into posts on every corner at the mall, reporting the same thing.

Regret was plastered on my face the entire time when I was choosing clothes for her as I prayed not to be suspected since I was wearing black and buying girl's clothes. a smile sees itself on my lips as I think about what I would have said if I were to be stopped by police and be asked why I was buying a girl’s clothes “it’s for my girlfriend” but luckily I finished buying her clothes with no distraction from no one and I quickly left without daring to glance back. I get out of the shower and grab one of the bathroom towels on the hanger and wrap it around my waist after I had ruffled it on my hair, just to wipe off the droplets on the edges.

I am back to my room ad drying my hair using my hairdryer, once I’m done, I go inside my walk-in closet and pick up an outfit for the day. Since I am not planning on going anywhere, I had decided on wearing sweat pants, a long sleeve T, and fluffy sleepers after I had moisturized my body and brushed the sides of my hair, and ruffled the rest before I see my way out of the room to get a coffee or something to keep me warm. When I get in the kitchen I panic when I don’t see Samantha, I trail to the living room, but she is not here either.

I panic, thinking that maybe she has escaped but when I hear her sweet voice from behind I get to pacify my breathing “oh, was looking for you” I murmur unexpectedly she only snort as she takes a sit on the couch and stretches her arm to reach for a tv control remote. She can be sassy sometimes, I kind of like that though, it doesn’t sit well with me when she seems to fear me. I don’t like it when she flinches or backs away from me while wearing a scared expression. Now that she is comfortable, and she is being herself I am just fine. “where were you?” I didn’t mean to sound insecure but by the stare, she is giving me I sure did. “no, no I’m only trying to” she cut me off “trying to keep me by your side, see” she says as she rolls her eyes and shrugs her shoulders dramatically then swirl her head back to her boring show on the tv.

“Sam” I trail and clear my throat, I do this a lot when I’m nervous especially when being intimidated by a pretty girl’s stare. I am a total opposite of my dad, maybe I have taken most of my genetics from mom even though I don’t know her, but something always tells me that I am like her because honestly, I am far, far away from being like my dad. “yes!” she screeches in front of my face as her five fingers are waving on my face which causes me to clear my throat again “wanted to say something? Jake” she asks with sarcasm in her words. I nod then take my seat next to where she has been sitting the whole time before she decided to stand up and snap her fingers on my face.

“I got here, and you were nowhere to be found” I let out a quiet sigh before I add “not that I  want to know your every move it just that ‘sigh’ I don’t want anything to happen to you” I complete and she gazes at me with one eyebrow raised “you mean more like, keeping me by your side so I won’t escape and go to the police station?” she speaks with sarcasm as she fixes herself on the couch to face me directly but I swirl my head to the opposite side, avoiding her piercing gaze “no, look at me Jake, is it true?, you are keeping me here because you are ‘protecting’ yourself and your father” she accentuates on the word ‘protect’ using air apostrophe which caused me to look deep into her eyes where I found an attitude but hate and sadness at the same time.

I don’t know how to make her understand that it is not the only reason I am keeping her here, but I am out of words “Jake I’m talking!” she shouts as she stands up to look down at me. “Sam- “I halt she hums, she is waiting for me to proceed “it’s not that, but” I don’t get to continue when she snaps “you know what? I don’t want to know but I want you to take me to my home RIGHT NOW! You said you were helping me to escape not to keep me hostage again!” she emphasis on her words as she points an accusing finger on my chest which is hurting me deep in the heart.

“Samantha! Stop it” I snap at her and she swiftly stops talking but her eyes are still staring deep into mine. “you see what I am talking about, you brought me here to torture me then kill me!” she states with confidence as she spreads her hands around, proving a point with her words and she is hurting me in the heart with all these accusations if only she knew that I am not keeping her by my side only because I don’t want her to report us but because if she happens to step out of this place my dad will found her before she even gets to the police station.

“you need to listen to me Sam, my dad is out there looking for the both of us. If you leave this place you wouldn’t like what he will do to you when he founds you of which he will” I simply inform her, she takes a seat next to me on the couch as she let out a frustrated blow through her nose. “you. not keeping me in here because you. You think I’ll report you?” she stutters a bit her eyes full of regret and sadness. I nod to her as my answer, she buries her face on the nape of my neck and starts sniffling as she fists my T from behind. “let it all out, it’s ok to cry and I fully understand” I tell her trying my best to be gentle and be soothing right now.

“I want to trust you, but my mind wouldn’t let me. but then my body does, which is just so confusing to me” she speaks in between sobs and sniffling as she is still in my embrace, all I do is to pat her back or stroke her messy beautiful African hair, soothing her. What does she mean about that? Whatever that supposed to mean I like it coming out of her mouth it brings joy into my soul, I know I sound a bit dramatic right now, but this is what I am feeling right now. What she just said says something to me and she didn’t sound like she was making it all up but sincere, but wait, what if she is playing those games she was trying to play yesterday before we escaped, no she means it, I don’t know what to think. I think the feeling is mutual between us, my mind won’t let me trust her, but my body does which is also confusing to me. “I understand Samantha, if I were to be in your shoes, I will feel the same,” I tell her while rubbing my palms on her back.

We pull back from the tight hug and stare at each other for a while before I decide to stand up from the couch just to be far from her, if not I don’t know what I will do to her or what she might do to me. My mind is starting again with all these thoughts. I clear my throat as I think of what to say to her now that she is done crying and I am awkwardly standing in front of her as I look down at her. Her brown eyes are twinkling as she looks up at me, reminding me of yesterday before I took her out of the dungeon when she was trying to manipulate my brain and seduce me, with all those sweet talks and her eyes eyeing me in magical ways. I want her to do it again, this time around I won’t think twice but jump on her like a hungry lion, she is like a flower that just blossomed in the summertime and needs to be plucked out. I feel things I had never felt before, yes I had laid my eyes on a beautiful girl but not like her, she is different, she is strong, she, oh she is something that makes me want to jump on and devour with my lips and squeeze in my arms as my life depends on it.

“how about we set up the fire“ I suggest breaking the awkward silence motioning to the fireplace, she gives me a smirk as she nods her head up and down like an innocent child. I stretch my hand towards her for her to grab as she stands up from the couch with my help, I led us to where the fireplace is at and start, we continue setting up the fire with small talks exchanged and a little bit of humor. “have you ever had roasted marshmallows before?” I ask as I put in the last wood inside the place as I am grabbing the gaslight to light up the fire after I had sprinkled the firelighters, she gives me a confused look I can’t help but chuckle at her reaction. “uhm, no” she finally speaks after a few seconds of thinking her answer to my, maybe stupid question I shouldn’t have asked her, what if it brings memories of her family and friends, no, she said no, which means she has never had them meaning there are no memories with no one.

“well today is the day,” I say excitedly as I pick myself up heading to the kitchen to get a pack of marshmallows to roast and impress a girl, she is sitting on the couch with her legs curled on top, a thought pops in my mind, with that thought, I swiftly place the marshmallows on the coffee table and walk out of the living room to my room upstairs, I grab one fleece “what if she won’t be comfortable to share it with me?” I mumble to myself, with that I grab another fleece in my closet for myself before I head back downstairs and impress the girl. “here take, it chilly not to cover yourself up” I tell her as I hand over the fleece to her. “oh, thanks to Jake” she flickers her brown eyes as she acknowledges, I nod as my acknowledgment.

“come and roast the marshmallows with me” I suggest, I don’t look back at her but focus on the marshmallows on the sticks as I roast them in the fire. I had never had anyone in this house before and to have Samantha as the first girl in my new house is overwhelming, if she only knew, I smile as I recall the time when she asked me who was the original owner of her room. I had fixed that room just for her because I had planned this whole thing of escaping, I had planned to take her out and come with her here I just pray that she’s going to stay longer, she can always continue with her studies online, but what if she wants a job, I mean no one will enjoy staying at home and do nothing with their life and I wouldn’t allow that either.

As I think of all this, I am distracted and I can’t think straight, what if she brings it up “Jake!” she yells my name, why is she yelling while I am a foot away from her “huh” I respond as I flinch from her screaming. “you are thinking, tell me what” she says as she takes the sit on the wood stump which plays a roll of a chair. “oh yeah marshmallows” I say as I bring my brain back to where I am rather than thinking things that ruins my mood, she takes the stick from me as she sniff on the sweet and exhale “wow, smells even better, you know I had really never done this before tell me is it a white thing?” playfully she asks, as she stuff her face with the second hot yummy marshmallow. “you’re racist you know that” I tease, she tilt her head and gaze at me above her long dark eyelashes “no I’m not, it just that us blacks don’t really do stuff like this, but they are really nice hey,I had always knew that white people are weird and I agree, I mean who thought of roasting marshmallows” she simply say, as she rolls her eyes playfully and carelessly.

I lick my fingertips after stuffing in a roasted marshmallow of my own as I shake my head at her comment as I think of a throwback “roasted marshmallows are better than roasted mealies” I carelessly say as I throw in another marshmallow inside my moth, I hear her gasp when I turn my head to her I see she have her hand on her chest signaling heartbreak. “oh, is the baby gonna cry?” I tease with a pout she smacks my shoulder with a tiny fist, ‘hey easy” I say as I rub the invisible pain on my shoulder making her chuckle, I shove her with my side she squeaks, when she tries to smack me again I stand up quickly, running away for my life. “I’ll get you silly,” she says with a grin.

“What type of movies do you like?” I ask as I head to the couch, I grab my small fleece and wrap myself in as I browse on the tv on my Netflix app. “Sam” I call her when I notice that she is still sitting next to the fire with her back facing me, she hums as her response. Her voice sounds down and unhappy “hey, are you alright, is it something I said?” I inspect but she only stays silent, from that I stand up and go back to sit on my wooden chair next to the fire. “Sam” I whisper as I place my hand on her shoulder, she doesn’t flinch which is a good sign but then why the change of mood, why the sour atmosphere now.

“I’m a student you know” she murmurs more like a question, her voice sad, I knew it was coming to this but not now or even today, not when the mood is so warm, not after the playful moment we just had “oh Samantha, I was thinking about that, how about we get you to do that online?” I suggest, causing her to suddenly turn her head to look at me, she is sad I can tell by the darkness in her gaze, she is holding tears back, she can cry at any time soon, I want her to know that  I am here as a shoulder to cry on “you mean I am going to be locked in this place forever?, what if I want to go out to socialize, what if I want to meet my friends and family to let them know that I am still alive-“ she rants but I cut her off “I understand Sam, that is not going to happen, you will go and see your friends and family but you can’t stay in your old house anymore, and if you’re not comfortable staying here with me, for free it fine with me I can get you another place” I say, my voice rusty.

“it not about staying here for free Jake, it about feeling like I am being imprisoned, I know you’re protecting me and all but can I at least see them, my friends and a few of my relatives I promise I won’t tell a word about this,” she says her shaky voice, she is being strong, she is holding those tears back “I will sleep on it, by tomorrow morning I will have a plan, ok” I assure as I tilt my head to an assuring nod, she nods as a sign of understanding. “now can we watch a movie, please” I murmur and drag the word please as I stand up and hold my hand out for her to grab. I like how strong and understanding she is, and tonight I must come up with a plan on how she can go out without being seen by any of my dad’s guards whom I know are out there in every possible corner they assume I might be. She finally stands with my help and walks to the comfortable couch as she crouches on it and covers her whole body with the fluffy material as I do the same on the other side of the L-shaped couch, how I wish I can be inside that blanket with her and keep her even warmer.

After a few moments of silence watching the first movie in peace, She snorts I frown at her then pay my attention back to the movie again, maybe that part where the lady on the movie sipped on her tea tickled her which will be weird if that comes out to be true “what?” I dare to ask out of curiosity  “you know when I thought of ‘special’ that was not in mind so when I laid my eyes on it I just couldn’t-“ she doesn’t finish explaining herself when she starts laughing at the reminiscence, I am more than confused right now, what is she talking about exactly, I smile, I like the sound of her voice when she laughs it sounds melodic to my ear, “what are you referring to exactly?” I bring out a scowl, “oh, do you really want to know?” she makes a face as she teases me with her one eyebrow arched, I hum as my answer, this is not a good idea, but I want to know anyways.

One thing I have realized about her is that she likes laughing a lot, when she does, I just stare at her beautiful facials amused. I am happy to see that she is slowly getting comfortable around me, she is sitting on my far left and I so want to be sitting closer to her and wrap my arms around her tiny body and run my fingers on her brown skin, and whisper to her soothing words and tell her how much of a beauty she is and how much I want her to be mine but I can’t, at least not now. I want to give her some time to adjust to the scenario.

I turn my head in her direction, she is grinning ear to ear, I smile and shake my head. I’m glad that she is coming along, “you forget so quick don’t you, don’t you remember the special ” she doesn’t get to finish until I understand what s she referring too, “don’t say please, not fair at all, I was trying to be a gentleman” I fake a heartbreak but she doesn’t care but laugh out loud this time, her voice echoed in the living room, she is happy and I am glad I like it and I want it to stay just like this. “what’s for dinner” I ask when I hear a groan and notice that it comes from me, my stomach is now empty since we have been sitting at the living room for a couple of hours, she only stood up to make lunch for us as we spent the whole day watching a movie after another at least I got a chance to choose this last one which is finished now as I think of what to have for dinner, if we weren’t on a run or hiding I would have suggested to go and eat out but that will risk her life, mine too.

She turns her attention to me, her lips twitch like she is holding a smile back I raise a confused eyebrow “what?” I simply ask as she is grinning now. “how about scrambled eggs and brown slices of bread and a cold tea on the side, you know just for a wash down” she says with mockery and I place my hand to my heart and gasp “you’re hurting me you know” I tell her as I wipe invisible tears she only chuckles as she pulls the fleece off of her and stands with a stretch, she needs that it has been hours since she moved. “come on let’s see what we got to make for dinner, do you know how to cook first? before I even think that we will prepare dinner together?” She raised a dramatic eyebrow with her hands rested on her waist as she asks. “yeah, but just simple meals” I chuckle as I tell her nothing but the truth. She rolls her eyes before exiting the living room without any further questions.

“hey!” I call out but she waves a dismissive hand as she keeps walking towards the kitchen. “I’ll be just fine without you, thank you!” she yells, I shake my head before pulling up the fluffy warm thick cloth off me and stretch before I trail up the stairs. It’s just crazy how gratifying and sad moments could be but still turns out to be the most memorable ones, I don’t think will ever forget my even today, after a long time in my life I had to share a laugh with someone. Back at school, I didn’t have friends because my dad had always said friends are a waste of time while girlfriends are there only for their pleasure then leave you once satisfied, I think he was wrong, what am I saying? I don’t think he was wrong I know that he is wrong, what I feel when I am around Sam is priceless.