ALANA

"I think you burnt the French toast."

Minnie's low voice snapped me back to the kitchen. I stared back at the half-burnt looking bread with disgust. It wasn't like me to function an entire morning with a feeling of daze hovering over me. It was safe to say that the little confrontation the night before with Rowan was one reason for the toast half-blackout.

I started to dump the over toasted bread in the garbage bin.

"Wait!" Minnie called out to me from the countertop.

"I'll make you a new one," I told her.

She hopped down from the counter stool and closed the distance between us, snatched the toast out of my fingers, and placed it on her Winnie the Pooh plate. She grinned at me. "I like overcooked toasts. They taste better."

Minnie is a strange kid but she was sweet and I found it hard to say no to anything she wants.

I rolled my eyes.

She took a large bite of the toast which now dripped with some criminal amount of chocolate syrup, strawberry syrup, and sprinkled with m&m's. It looked like a poisonous concoction, and definitely not a healthy breakfast but I allowed it to her once in a while.

Considering how Rowan was sometimes over strict with what she was eating and forcing down the healthy stuff down our throats.

The kid needed a break.

"You suck at cooking." She said bluntly. She got that from her father and then went to smashing fruits on her iPad which was an early birthday present from Uncle Dwight.

Minnie had turned seven this year and she practically begged for an iPad because Andrew broke the last one. Her daddy had waved a straight red neon sign with a NO printed on it, so her uncle who had a combination of a generous heart and a foul mouth, took the liberty to grab the green flag and spoil her rotten.

Minnie was looking straight at the scrambled eggs I was attempting to make. Her features, the glow in her hair all reminded me of that woman who'd screwed up my husband's life in the past. Lauren. I never let that get to me though, because if she wouldn't have left at all maybe my chances of being with this family were slim going on none.

As I watched Minnie each day, I saw pieces of Rowan in her. His Mocca colored eyes, the boisterous smile that could convince you life was still alright even with the complications.

I loved her too much to let someone like Lauren come in the way. It did not matter that she was the one who gave birth to her because she had lost her right of being called her mother the day she walked out of Rowan's life leaving that infant baby in his arms. That man who never looked towards the light of redemption had taken slow steps into becoming the perfect single father.

I went to stand close to Minnie; she was mildly surprised to find me in such proximity. I ran my fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head. "I love you."

She laughed, "I love you too, and I'd love you more if you could hand me over that one."

Something smelled weird. Minnie pointed at the frying pan. "Overtoasted bread number two." she declared.

I pushed it into Minnie's plate. I eyed it suspiciously as she began decorating the toast in a chocolate crooked smiley face. "Are you sure about this?"

"Positive." She responded biting into it. I guess I felt a little lucky that my daughter found my worthless food worth consuming. She continued. "Maybe you should stick to the laundry. If you were in my school and if you were in Mrs. Janet's cooking class, you'd fail with a big fat E."

I gaped at her. Did she just lay the fact that I sucked at cooking on the platter with sheer politeness?

The sound of the door stopped me from coming back with a retort. Instead, I said, "You can't talk about this in front of your father, okay? Now finish that fast."

Minnie sniggered. "Scary, isn't he?"

She chomped the entire remaining portion of the half-burnt toast. Rowan sauntered into the kitchen area, his hair still soaked from the shower. He was all dressed Sexy Professor in a crisp blue button-down shirt that highlighted the bulge in his biceps, the shirt matched the dark slacks, tie hanging loosely around his neck. And the scent of his familiar spicy ocean cologne made me weak in the knees.

Rowan ran a hand through his hair and smiled at me. I knew that smile, it was the Look, I wore your favorite shirt that you bought me last year smile. That shirt was so not going to get him out of the lies he'd been telling me for the past two months nor was the fact that he was looking drop-dead gorgeous. One look at him now and I really wasn't in a mood for another fight. I was in a mood for something else, like having his skilled hands all over me, and his mouth. Definitely his mouth.

But, I'd cut my tongue before admitting that.

"Good morning." He leaned in and claimed my mouth in his; I tasted the familiar mint toothpaste. The kiss was slow, and I think he did that mostly to irritate Minnie.

I was on my tiptoes, my arms circling around his neck, "Morning." I greeted him pulling back. That didn't mean I wasn't mad at him. But we could kiss now and fight later.

Minnie's mouth was stuffed with the toast from earlier. "Goss." She managed to spout.

"How many times did I tell you about chewing your food, Minnie? Never talk while you're eating, and why are you in such a hurry?"

"Mom...well, she said...she said..."she started to say with a mouth full.

"I told her to hurry up with breakfast already. The school bus is going to be here any minute." I completed for her, throwing a glare in her direction.

Rowan took a sip of his hot coffee, passing us a skeptical look. "Thanks for the coffee and are you girls cooking something behind my back?"

"Mommy said not to tell you about the two half-burnt toasts I had for breakfast."

"Looks like someone got busted." Rowan teased as he settled down on the barstool near the island for breakfast. He had a pile of papers and files sprawled across the surface.

"You'd rather not talk about my ass getting busted when you already restored the Mr. Busted title yesterday the minute I caught you sneaking in a few drinks." I said, pushing an apple and a flavored yogurt into his lunch bag. She was having leftovers from the night before for lunch because she'd rather eat Rowan's leftovers than what I cooked in the morning.

"Break my bones baby; don't break my heart."

I handed Minnie her lunch bag and began tying her shoulder-length hair into pigtails.

"Ouch. Ouch. Ouch." She rambled on until I was done, then she picked up her backpack and started to make her way out into the door, "Bye."

"Are you forgetting something?" Rowan asked her.

She hurried over to his side and kissed his cheek. "Bye, daddy."

"Have fun."

Minnie grabbed a snickers bar off the counter as she tried to slip away from my hindsight. "Hey. Hey. I'm gonna fix you a dentist appointment in two days, no less if you're going to keep ingesting that sinful amount of candy."

"It was for Drew."

"Do you realize Drew is only a year old with two milk teeth and does not go to your school?"

She shrugged. "Uh...Uhm...I think I'm going to miss my bus if I don't hurry up."

That kid took off out the door like a storm; I even heard the elevator bell ring.

"She's a born liar and no wonder her sneaky skills are so bad. I know who she takes after." I laughed. "Like father, like daughter."

I was aiming to get Rowan mad, and from the looks of it, success was not out of my reach.

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty?" he asked. I noticed the pair of black-framed glasses that rested on his nose.

"I'm not trying darling, I'm stating the obvious."

"I admit I was wrong, Alana, I apologized to you yesterday. What else do you want me to do?"

"I don't want your apology. I want the reassurance that you're not going to drink again." I said without breaking eye contact.

"I'm sorry I can't do that."

"Excuse me?" I asked him. The nerve he had to say he couldn't.

"You've been keeping an eye on me for the past two months; I've been drinking for four months give or take. Did you ever realize that I never relapsed during the time? Isn't that proof enough to prove that I can stay under control?"

I remained silent.

"I love you, Alana, I love our kids. I would never let you guys down." I knew he meant every single word of that sentence. "I'm just doing this because I can't function without it. I promise you it's going to be one occasional drink under your supervision."

I was staring at the beige plush carpet on the floor. I knew what was to follow after I made a small revelation. "I spoke to Sofia this morning."

He rose from the couch so fast and grabbed me by the shoulders, spinning me around to face him. "Why the fuck would you do that?!"

"I didn't tell her anything."

Sofia was Rowan's psychiatrist in Denmark. A good, strong-willed woman in her early fifties. She was like a second mother to Rowan.

"I don't fucking care if you have to lie, but you're going to tell her exactly what I tell you. I don't want you to go talking about how I have started to drink again. I'm under control and I could pass on the psychoanalyst trying to monitor each and every second of my life." he was waiting for an answer. "Do you understand?"

"I'm not going to say anything as long as you don't give me the chance."

Rowan piled all the files back in a folder and into a briefcase, "From here on, this chapter is closed and not up for discussion anymore." I hadn't moved from the spot. "You have classes, don't you? Where's Drew?"

I have no frigging clue how this argument which I'd started bit me in the ass.

"I'm waiting for Cindy," I said. "Why don't you go ahead and I'll take the bus."

Rowan picked up the briefcase; grabbed for his coffee thermos and stormed out, practically stomping his way out, leaving me, wondering how the argument had blown up in my face.

Cindy arrived a few minutes after Rowan was out of the door. Andrew's new babysitter and victim of his evil scheming and a few other tricks he pulled with Elsa's help who never let Drew away from her sight for a second; Elsa was under the impression that she was his imperial bodyguard. Cindy had told us numerous times how tough the job was. Rowan and I had raised her pay. She'd stopped complaining eventually.

In case you're wondering who Elsa is, she is a golden retriever, another birthday present for Minnie. A gift from the father to his loving daughter.

"Please don't hesitate to call me whenever it is necessary. I will come back as soon as I can. Make sure Drew eats the soup I made for him. It's in the fridge; you just need to warm it in the microwave."

"Rest assured. I will do that, Mrs. Masters." Her assuring smile is what kept me from cutting class.

Later I stepped out of the bus and walked towards the university gates.

A sense of déjà vu hit me.

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