epiphany (n.)

a sudden, profound realization; a moment when you suddenly feel that you understand or become conscious of something very important

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TEN minutes later, I arrived at the trailhead to Eli's secret spot—the only place in town nobody (save for Eli) would find me. The chances of him showing up here on Christmas were very slim, so I felt confident in my choice of a hiding spot.

I stumbled down the barely-there path, getting scratched by stray bush branches along the way. My right hand acted as a windshield wiper for my eyes, clearing away the tears that continued to fall freely.

I tripped over a rock—due to my lack of proper footwear—and fell down into the untouched snow. Laying surrounded by the cold, white powder, I started laughing hysterically.

There was no humor in my situation, but I couldn't control my body. It was like I teleported to an alternate dimension, where left was right and down was up.

My brain's command on my body left the chat, allowing my dwindling sanity to take over.

After much effort and concentration, I stood up and continued floundering down the path.

Taking shuddering breaths, I took a seat on the largest rock.

The ocean below me provided a welcome distraction. Its waves were violently crashing into the rocks, spraying saltwater into the air.

I shivered as the wind picked up, but made no effort to keep warm; at least I was feeling something other than anger.

That thought alone caused the tears to reappear in full-force, and my vision quickly blurred. And I preferred it that way—it was yet another distraction from the ugliness of the world. I didn't have to look around and see the dying trees, the brownish snow, and how utterly alone I was.

My salty tears acted as a buffer, softening the harsh blow of reality. My life wasn't a fairytale. I wasn't a princess who would be saved by a prince and whisked away for a happily ever after.

Instead, I would be whisked away to Chicago by the villain, living miserably ever after.

A gut-wrenching sob escaped my mouth. More followed as I became a blubbering mess on that dirty rock.

I was so caught up in my pity party, I didn't even hear the footsteps and snapping twigs behind me.

"Um, hi," a familiar voice said.

I whipped my head around, startled by Eli's sudden appearance.

In hindsight, it wasn't all that surprising, but I had completely brushed off the prospect of him finding me. I should have known that he would show up sooner or later—even though it was Christmas, it was still his spot.

Maybe on some level, my brain directed me here on purpose, knowing that only his presence would heal me.

"Hey," I sniffled, swallowing the lump in my throat. "H-how did you... find me?"

Looking at his blue dress shirt and khaki pants, I inwardly groaned.

He had to be dressed up when I looked like a pile of shit. Snot was oozing from my nose. My crying eyes were assuredly puffy and bloodshot. I would also bet good money that my hair was a rat's nest too. Why did I have to be such an ugly crier?

"Uh, Ethan called. Everyone's out looking for you... Can I sit?"

Accepting defeat, I reluctantly nodded my head.

Eli came all this way, and I wasn't going to turn him away simply because I wanted to be alone. I surely wanted to be alone, but his stubborn ass wouldn't listen if I turned him away.

"So, um, is everything alright?" Teeth gritting into a grimace, he sighed, "Well, obviously something is wrong. Do you wanna talk about it? No pressure—only if you want to... And I should just stop talking," he chuckled.

"Alright," I said hoarsely, pressing my face into my palms. "Ugh, sorry I'm such a fucking mess. I usually don't cry this much. Sorry."

He scooted closer to me, tentatively taking my hand in his. "Hey, don't apologize. I think you're gorgeous. You always are."

"I'm definitely not, but thanks," I said, wiping the tears off my cheeks. 

He opened his mouth to argue with me but wisely thought better of it. "Wow, your hands are freezing." He started rubbing circles on the back of my hand, giving me some of the warmth he always seemed to be radiating.

Avoiding his concerned gaze, I shrugged. "I don't really care."

"Well, I care," he said softly. "Do you want to go somewhere warmer? You're shaking."

I wordlessly shook my head.

He shook his head, a small smile on his lips. "At least take my coat."

Before I could argue, he took his coat off and draped it over my shoulders.

"Thank you," I whispered, burrowing into its warmth and amazing minty smell.

"So what happened? Ethan said that he saw you storm outside and leave."

I let out a harsh breath, a puff of air escaping my mouth. "He showed up."

"Piece of shit Mark? I thought he lived in Chicago?"

"Yep," I spat, bitterness replacing my despondency. "He flew halfway across the country with his fiancée to come talk to us."

"Shit," he whistled. "Why? I thought your mom was divorcing him?"

I took a deep breath, dreading his reaction to the news. "H-he wants me to come back to Chicago... He said it's the only way he'll let my mom get a divorce... A-and he won't pay for my college either. It's either moving to Chicago or going to college."

Eli stiffened. "You're giving into him?"

"Well, not everyone has a full-ride," I said harshly. "Sorry. You didn't deserve that... It's just that the accounts are in his name, so there's no way I can get to them. And he threatened to tell the police that my mom ran off with me. She'd... lose custody and I'll... be forced to live with him." My voice cracked at the end.

Eli's grip on my hand tightened. "C-can he do that?"

"I don't know," I sighed, squeezing his hand. "He seems to think so, which is all that matters."

Mark would probably get away with it, too. Why wouldn't a judge vote in favor of a rich, white man over a poor woman? It was just the way the world worked.

A lengthy silence descended upon us.

"You're not going, are you?" he asked, voice hesitant.

"I don't know."

All I knew was that my father was a dickhead, and he could be taking me back to Chicago—the prison I used to call home. I'd be shackled to a loveless home and be friendless again.

Worst of all, I'd never see Eli again.

Unless—No. I wouldn't sacrifice a college education for a boy.

"Do you want to go?"

"No, of course not," I huffed. "But, it might not be up to me anymore... Even my Grandmother told my mom she should get rid of me. She said it was a great opportunity ."

Eli made a sound of contempt. "Don't listen to her. She's a fucking terrible excuse of a human being." He mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, "I never liked that fat bitch anyway."

"I know... It's just hard to listen to her. I mean, you should have heard the bullshit she was spewing today. She criticized me for everything. Peeling potatoes, resembling my mom, even for being friends with you."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Me? What did she say?"

"Uh... it wasn't anything bad about you. She seems to love you, actually. But me? She, uh, just said a few hurtful things about our friendship," I fibbed, not wanting to explain that she thought we were dating.

He glanced at me curiously before looking back out to the water. "Grandparents are the worst, especially on Christmas. Just ignore them. Whatever she said isn't true."

"Yeah, you're right... Oh, shit."

His head quickly swept around the area. "What happened?"

"It's Christmas!"

"Yeah, I know," he chuckled. "Did you hit your head too?"

"I mean, it's Christmas and you're out here with me. Shouldn't you be with your family? I didn't mean to ruin your day with my stupid problems."

He turned and looked right into my eyes, "Hey, you aren't ruining my day... Do you really think I'd let you freeze out here alone? There's no place I'd rather be."

"That was an ice cream sundae of bullshit with a cherry on top," I muttered.

"I'm being serious," he laughed. "I just like  hanging out with you. If anything, this made my day better, just 'cause it was an excuse to see you."

Despite the frigid winter air, my insides turned to mush. "Thank you."

"No problem, Char," he replied, placing a feather-light kiss on the top of my head.

We fell into another content silence as I gazed off into the distance.

The crescent moon was rising in the late-afternoon sky, peeking through the gap in the clouds. I desperately wished for it to be nighttime, so I could gaze at the stars and the moon's radiance. Even though it wasn't full, it still looked beautiful to me.

"Hey, Char?" he asked a few minutes later.

"Yeah?"

"Your moon is out there. I know it."

"Huh?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him shift to face me. "That thing you said months ago at Delaney's... You know, the good things out there that you can't see? The thing that'll overcome the darkness and light up your life? It's out there, I pinky promise... Right now, it might not seem like it, but count on it being there. Okay?"

I silently considered his words.

He was right. This was just a mere eclipse in my life. The light was covered, but darkness was ephemeral; the sun would re-emerge brighter than ever. I wouldn't be alone and shrouded in darkness much longer.

All I had to do was hang in there and wait out the storm.

"Yeah. You're right." I scooted closer to him and leaned my head on his shoulder. In response, his arm hesitantly wrapped around my waist, tightening as I took a shaky breath.

Breathing in his comforting minty scent, I had an epiphany, realizing that I already had my moon and found love in the process.

My moon was Elliot Cameron, and it always had been Elliot Cameron.

He had been there the whole time, but I stupidly hadn't noticed it until now.

And how on Earth did I not realize it sooner?

He was always there to cheer me up, crack a corny joke, and make me feel this new emotion—love. He was the person who turned my grey skies blue. He was the light in my darkest times. He was my moon.

The real question was how could I not be in love with Eli?

Eli was everything good in the world. He was the spring green color that signaled new life and an end to the long, bleak winter.

He was my first thought when I woke up, and my last thought before falling asleep. I even dreamed of him.

He never failed to make me laugh, even when I was crying.

He—most of all—didn't run for the hills when my past came back to torment me; he stayed and helped me through it.

They say 'ignorance is bliss,' but I found true bliss in acceptance. I knew the depth of my feelings, and no longer needed to doubt myself.

"Everything okay?" he asked, concern shining in his eyes. "You've been really quiet."

"Everything's perfect... I- Thank you for saving me." I almost dropped the love-bomb, but reminded myself that I needed to gauge the depth of his feelings before announcing mine.

My heart was too fragile to be rejected. It would be in my best interests to wait for him to make a move.

"Anytime, Char. It's what friends are for."

Well, it was a good thing that I stopped myself...

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A/N: Thanks for reading chapter 26! 💚
Before you come for me, remember that Char finally realized that she loves Eli! There won't be much more waiting, I promise. The pining and anticipation is half the fun of a slow burn!

QOTC: Do you believe in soulmates?

My Answer: I don't think that there's only one person out there who we're perfect for. I like to think that there are a bunch of people out there who we are compatible with and the timing just needs to align. Kinda like saying it's the right person at the right time.