When I get to my car I try to think of what to do with Tessa. I don't go out, ever, aside to parties at other people's places. Other than that, I'm on campus or in my room, alone.
I start the car and keep trying to think of something to do. A movie? What type of movie does Tessa like? Something from Nicholas Sparks, I'm sure. I could sneak my arm around her. I could buy her popcorn or overpriced chocolate to impress her. The problem with seeing a movie is that we can't talk during. Someone would complain and I would end up getting into some trouble.

Dating rituals were so much less complicated in the past. If we lived in an Austen novel, I would court her and take her on chaperoned dates where we would walk through the woods and if I felt brave I would brush her gloved hand with mine. She would blush and put a finger to her full lips, looking to our chaperone with a warning in her grey eyes.

Modern dating is much different and now if I felt brave, I would reach down and tease her nipples through her top and she would move my hand to the warmth between her thighs. No chaperone, no rules.

I'm interrupted in my planning by my phone ringing. Does Tessa have my number? Speaking of that, I need to get her number from Steph. When Ken's name flashes on my phone screen, I cringe but I answer this time. I should have known it wouldn't be Tessa, why would she call me anyway.

"Yeah?" I say, turning onto the highway. I tuck my phone between my cheek and shoulder. The only problem with my beautiful 1970 Ford Capri is that it doesn't connect to Bluetooth.

"Um, Hardin, hey," he stutters. He's confused by me answering. He calls me sometimes and I'm convinced that he sees it as his good deed. He calls to "check in on me" because he knows I won't answer and it makes him look good to make an effort with his insubordinate son.

His new girlfriend probably praises him, hugging him tightly and she reassures him, "He will come around one day," she probably promises him. "He's just angry right now."

She would be angry if she had him for an excuse of a dad, too.
"Hey," I press the speaker button and rest my phone in the cup holder.
"How are you, son?" He asks, immediately pressing on my nerves.
"Fine."

He clears his throat, "that's good to hear. I wanted to invite you over to dinner tomorrow night. Karen's making a chicken and we would really love to have you over."

He wants me to come over for dinner? Why on earth would he think I would come to his house to eat chicken with his new family and talk about how much we all just love each other's company.  No fucking thanks.

"I have plans tomorrow." I tell him. I'm not lying this time.

"Oh. Well you could come by after your plans. She's making desert too."
"My commitment is for all night." I tell him. I wonder what the weather will be like tomorrow.

The clouds are grey, as always in this shitty state. The sun must hate it so much here, that's why it's always raining and dreary. 

"Is it supposed to rain tomorrow?" I ask Ken. It's easier than looking it up myself.

"No, it's supposed to warm up overnight and the rain's gone until next week," he says.
If I had a normal relationship with the man who helped create me I could ask him for suggestions. I don't though.

All I know to ask this man about are forms needed for the University we have in common. We have nothing in common and are as far as can be from a place where I would ever ask him for dating advice.

Maybe Vance has some ideas? I'd rather ask him than anyone else, I guess.

"I have to go," I say into the phone and hang up on Ken. I find Vance's name in my phone.

He answers after one ring, "Hardin, what's up?"

"Do you have any recommendations on where to take someone?" I ask him. My voice sounds odd as I rush the words.

"As in a dead body?" He laughs into the phone. I smile. He's a jackass.

"No, not this time." I reach for a way to ask for his help without mentioning Tessa. "Like to hang out with someone."
"A date then?" He assumes.

"No, not exactly. But something like that."
I don't know what to call this meeting with Tessa. It's not a date. We're friends.

Friends until I fuck her, I remind myself.
She's just so prudish. She wears heavy clothing and barely curses. Where could I take her to get her to lighten up? I try to think of my favorite memory since I moved to Washington.
The stream off of Highway 75 is fun. If the weather is nice this could work. The water is pretty shallow and you can see the rocks under the water. Would Tessa swim in semi-clean stream water? Probably not, but I can try.

The first time he spent alone with her he knew something was stirring inside of him. He thought he could fight it, that maybe he was softening a little and it wasn't only for her, it had to involve everyone in his life, he was sure. He had gone his whole life alone and he had mastered the craft of avoiding any form of intimacy beyond sex. He didn't need friends, and he didn't have a functional family to teach him how to interact with people. He liked that hard part of himself, it kept his life simple. He was used to structured solitude and she was wrecking havoc on that.

The morning is here and I barely fucking slept last night. It wasn't even the shitty nightmares that kept me awake, it was Tessa. She was there when I closed my eyes and not in the way I would like her to be. Instead of being naked, making soft noises as I thrust into her, she was furious and bored during our trip to the stream.

In one creepy movie like scene that my sleepless, stalkerish mind made up, she stubbed her toe and complained the entire time. In another, she was bored out of her mind and wanted her lame boyfriend to drive all the way here to get her. It's frustrating the amount of time I have wasted thinking about this girl. None of this is going to matter in a month or so. If this "date" goes well, I'm hoping for less than two weeks, hell, if I can charm her enough tomorrow . . .

My phone rings from across the room and I climb out of bed. Today's the day. My head is already throbbing and I'm annoyed by the pressure I feel to make today work out in my favor.

I'm supposed to  so I should probably take a shower. As I'm getting dressed, I briefly wonder what she's doing right now, is she as stressed as I am? I can imagine so, she's so uptight all the time and she's probably had me literally penciled me into her planner-binder thing since the moment I offered to attempt this friendship thing.

After my shower, I rummage through my drawer to find a clean black t-shirt. It's wrinkly but it will do.  As I start my car, my foot crunches an empty water bottle under my shoe and I decide to stop at a dumpster before I park in the lot on campus. I leave my textbooks, some notes, and my black jumper in the backseat. Despite my distraction, I get to campus a little early.

Tessa and Landon's seats are empty when I take mine and a little part of me feelings pretty damn smug about it. She's later than I am and I somehow know that will irritate her. I find joy in the simple things. I stare back and forth between the door and my missed calls from Molly until Landon and Tessa walk through the door.

They are talking and she looks happy and well rested. No purple shadows under her eyes, no sign of a restless night on her end. 

"Are you ready for our date tonight?" I ask as Tessa's hip grazes my desk. The curve of her hip is very appealing. The curve on the front of a woman's thigh, on the side of her hips is one of my favorite parts of a female body, it's just so sexy.

"It's not a date," Tessa turns to Landon and says, "We're hanging out as friends," while she completely ignores my question.

"Same thing," I look at her and take note of her choice of outfit. She's wearing jeans, tight enough to make out the curve of her thighs and ass. Damn, she has a nice one.

Tessa effectively avoids me for the entirety of the class. I don't look her way either.

"Oh, we're just trying to get along since my roommate is his good friend," Tessa says to Landon. I didn't catch what he said to her, the fucker talks too low. Just trying to get along, huh? I take a few steps closer to the Nerdacula and his nerdy-hot-girl friend. Landon's fucking polo shirt is tucked into his gray dress slacks. Does this man even know he's supposed to be a broke college student? Oh wait, he's not broke. He lives in a nice big house a short drive from here while I call an old fraternity house full of sloppy wanna-be cool guys who do nothing related to helping this wonderful community the way they are supposed to. Tessa's boyfriend would probably be in a frat. Blond hair, blue eyes, loafers, and cardigans. It would be a match made in heaven really.

Landon makes eye contact with me and doesn't try to hide his voice, "I know, you're really a great friend. I'm just not sure Hardin deserves your kindness." Really? And what do I deserve, Landon? A nice new daddy who doesn't love liquor more than his only son?

"Don't you have something else to do besides bad-mouth me? Get lost, man," I kindly say. If I said what I was thinking Tessa would cancel our hangout for sure.

Landon doesn't respond to me, he only frowns at Tessa, saying something too low for me to hear. As he walks away, Tessa turns to me.

"Hey, you don't have to be cruel to him—you guys are practi- cally brothers," she spits out life fire. Practically brothers? What kind of fucked up world does this chick live in where Landon and are anything close to brothers?

"What did you just say?" I ask her through bared teeth. Brothers? Just because my piss-poor father moved him and his mummy into a mansion filled with chocolate chip cookies. Wait, how does Tessa know that? I push my fingers through my hair.

"You know, your dad and his mom?" She answers, looking very confused. She nods to herself and frowns as if she just let out a secret.

"That is none of your business." I look to where Landon disappeared to see if I can chase his ass down. Why does he think he has the right to tell my family's business? "I don't know why the asshole even told you that. I'm going to have to shut him up, it seems." I crack my knuckles and ignore the stinging of tearing skin on my busted knuckles.

"You leave him alone, Hardin," she glares at me. A real convincing Warrior Queen this one is. "He didn't even want to tell me, but I got it out of him." So she knows about my family now? Why is that fair? She doesn't need to know anything about me. This is going too far. The whole thing is. "So where are we going today?" she asks.

She's getting too close to me now, her nosiness went to a personal level and I'm not fucking okay with that. She probably probed him for answers to other things about me too. Why I don't live with Ken and his new family, why I never talk to my dad, she probably even asked how I was as a child and Landon probably spilled those secrets out like beans. She's already judging me, I can tell.

"We aren't going anywhere; this was a bad idea," I tell her. She doesn't need to get any closer than she already is. She's too intrusive, too judgmental. I don't want anything to do with this shit anymore. I need to stay the fuck away from this girl.

By the time I get to my car, my head is pounding and my palms are sweaty. Why did he do that? Why would  Landon tell her about my family? That must mean she knows everything. My father's the Chancellor, he was third in his class in University, he loves sports. What she doesn't know is that he was a drunk, the worst fucking kind, but precious Landon doesn't know that side of him. I wonder if he knows at all? If not, I would love to be the one to break the news to them over coconut cake.

I have to roll the car window down to get some air. The handle sticks and I yank on the metal rod, annoyed that this beautiful car is so fucking ancient. I catch my breath after about thirty seconds and finally pull out of my parking space. If Tessa would have followed me, I don't know what I would have done.

I'm only in my room for less than ten minutes when I get a text from Molly.

*Zeds w/ virginal Barbie in dorm. Better hurry loverboy.*

*What? How do you know? *
I reply, wondering why I'm getting Tessa tips from Molly out of all people, is she fucking with me?

*I don't kiss and tell.*

I can hear the mocking tone in her voice through the screen as I push my feet back into my black boots. The insides are so worn in that they hurt when I walk most of the time but I've had them for years and can't seem to find anything else as comfortable.

I know that I've gotten everything I'm going to get out of Molly so I text Steph before I pull onto the street.

*Is Tessa with Zed?*

Her reply is instant,

*Nope. He's not here *

I immediately know she's lying and press my foot harder onto the gas.

(Author's note: I'm updating again Tuesday :) what are you doing this weekend? I'm basically just writing writing writing lol. )