Elli Goulding- Love Me Like You Do

Blood Bank - Bon Iver

James Morrison- You Make It Real

Coldplay- Shiver\

I Knew You Were Trouble- Taylor Swift

Demons- Imagine Dragons

There are so many mistakes to be made in life and he made them all. Every ounce of respect he held for her seemed to dissapear in the confusion of his mind. He loved her and cherished her more than his own breath, but he failed and failed and failed to show it. He toyed with her, played immature games and didn't show her his truth. This truth that he had hidden away, locked away tightly and guarded by his upbringing, by the fact that he coudn't remember the number of times he was hugged and cherished as a child. He wasn't trying to make excuses, he was only used to doing so. He always blamed everyone else, never took credit for what he did or said, it was easier that way. But now, he has learned his lesson.

"Dare." I roll my eyes at the childish game. Like anyone thought I would choose otherwise.

I stare at Tessa, watching Mother Theresa fumble with coming up with a good dare. "I.. hmm. I dare you to .." She stutters.

"To what?" I push her to hurry along with this shit.

The blond still sits in silence, looking around the group in a dramatic panic. It's only a party game but I can tell she's an overachiever, even when it comes to something this stupid.

"Take your shirt off and keep it off the entire game." Molly speaks for Tessa. Tessa's cheeks flush.

"How juvenile," I lift my black t-shirt up over my head and catch Tessa's eyes on my body. She's staring, hard, so hard that she doesn't even notice me catching her. Steph nudges her with her elbow and the girl looks away, cheeks red and eyes downcast.

The game continues and I sit here half dressed and watch Tessa try and keep her eyes off of me. I can't read her, I can't tell if she's disgusted by my tattoos or intrigued by them.

Interesting.

"Tessa, truth or dare?" Tristan asks her.

"Why even ask? We know she'll say truth." I lean back on my palms. Why even ask her, when it's obvious what her choice will be?

"Dare." The stubborn girl surprises me with a challenge.

"Hmm.. Tessa, I dare you to.. take a shot of vodka." Tristan smiles.

"I don't drink." She sticks her chin out in refusal.

I figured as much, but I'm pleased by this revelation. Everyone around this place can't wait for their next high, it's refreshing to have someone who doesn't want that.

"That's the point." Tristan counters.

"Look, if you don't want to do it.." Nate starts to tell her.

"She's such a pussy." Molly says into my ear.

Pussy? Because she doesn't want to drink?

"Fine, one shot" She caves. Little miss, "I don't drink, ever." Caved so easily.

Honestly, I'm a little disappointed. Not sure why, but I thought there was something different about her, I thought she wasn't like the rest of us.

I was wrong, obviously.

"Same dare." Zed says to her and takes a large swig before handing the bottle of vodka over. I'm annoyed by them drinking from the same bottle, but it's disgusting really.

Drink after drink she winces and wipes the burning liquid from her lips. Her eyes are red now, her cheeks matching. She looks lost and off balance, even when sitting down.

She lifts the bottle to her lips again and I find my hand grasping the bottle, pulling it from her.

"I think you've had enough." I hand the bottle off to Nate but Tessa quickly grabs it and takes another drink. The trace of a smirk covers her full lips as she licks them clean.

"I can't believe you have never been drunk before, its fun right?" Zed asks her. She giggles and I roll my eyes.

"Hardin, truth or dare?" Molly asks.

"Dare." Did she have to ask? Maybe I should have done what Tessa did, just to prove a point.

"I dare you to kiss Tessa." Molly's painted lips turn into a smile and I hear Tessa gasp.

She begins to speak before I can get a word in, "No, I have a boyfriend," she quickly says.

"So, it is just a dare. Just do it." Molly says, picking at her nails.

"No," Tessa's voice raises. "I'm not kissing anyone." She stands up and walks away from us. I take a drink of my water and watch her disappear out of the front door. She was looking at me all night, staring at my shirtless chest, yet she was so disgusted by the thought of kissing me that she would throw a fit and run away?

Or is it possible that a kiss could mean more to her than a dare?

"Where are you going?" Molly wraps her hand around my arm as I get up off of the floor.

"Erm, to get some more water." I look down into my nearly full cup, wondering, but not giving a shit if she notices or not.

I glance around the room, passing through the crowd while searching for that maroon dress and blond hair. When I enter the kitchen, she's standing at the counter, a bottle of Jack in her hands. She lifts the bottle and I can feel the familiar ache of need in the back of my throat.

By the gagging sounds she makes when she finishes, I can tell she's never going to be dependent on that burn. She won't crave it, it won't make her forget things and make her mind numb to memories like it does for me.

Does the girl have memories that she would need to be numb to?

I watch her still, as she turns the faucet on, searching for a glass. She opens the counter and glances toward the doorway. I step back, out of view.

What am I doing in here? Following her around and wondering about her past?

I quickly turn away and go back to my group. Molly is taunting Logan about his date last night and Nate is lighting a cigarette when i sit back down on the dirty floor.

"Let's get out of here, I'm bored and I can tell you are too," Molly's breath is hot on my neck as she wraps her arms around my shoulders. I shrug her off and shake my head. She latches on again.

"I'm going upstairs," I tell her. Her arms feel like steel, pulling me down.

"Good idea," she presses her lips against my neck.

She falls back onto the carpet as I stand to my feet.

"Yikes. That was tough to watch," Logan teases her. She flips him off and turns to me.

"Seriously, Hardin?" She growls at me.

"Seriously, Molly." I turn away from her and head up the stairs.

As I reach the top of the staircase, my phone rings in my front pocket. Ken's name flashes on the screen and I press ignore. I'm not in the mood to deal with him. I'm usually not.

I just want to be alone, away from all this music and voices. I want my shitty excuse for a father to stop trying to "connect" with me.

I want to be lost in the world of a novel where the characters have much worse problems than me and make me feel slightly more normal than I am.

The door to my room is open, just cracked enough for me to know something is off. I always lock that damn door, did I forget?

Tessa is sitting there, on my bed, one of my books in her hand when I open the door. My phone buzzes again.

Why is she in here? I warned her before, what is her problem?

"What part of no one can come in my room did you not understand last time?" I walk toward her.

"S..sorry. I ." Her voice fumbles and her eyes grow wide, not with fear, with anger.

"Get out."

"You don't have to be such a jerk!" She yells at me.

"You're in my room," the volume of my voice matches hers as I remind her, "Again after I told you not to be. So get out!"

"Why don't you like me?" Her tone delflates and my pulse quickens.

What would she ask me that out of all things?

"Why are you asking me this?" I ask her, she's glaring at me, I return the favor and glare just as hard. She thinks she can intimidate me? She's in my room, asking me stupid questions, looking at me like that...

"I don't know.. because I have been nothing but nice to you and you are always rude. I thought we could be friends." her bloodshot eyes are strong, holding so much that I don't know about her.. or care.

Friends? Is she actually fucking serious?

"Us? Friends?" I force a laugh.. "Isn't it obvious why we can't be friends?"

"Not to me." The conviction in her voice tells me that she really is serious. She thinks someone like me could be friends with someone like her? Doesn't she know that I can barely stand people in general, even my own group of "friends" ?

How shall I begin the list of reasons why this would never work?

"Well for starters, you're too uptight. You probably grew up in some huge, perfect model home that looks like every other house on the block." I begin.

"Your parents probably bought you everything you wanted and you never had to want for anything. With your stupid pleated skirts," I look at the outfit she's wearing now, ignoring the way the material rests on her full hips. " I mean honestly who dresses like that at eighteen?" Her mouth falls open and she steps toward me. I back away without thinking.

I can tell by the stormy gray of her eyes tells me I'm in for it.

"You know nothing about me! My life is nothing like that! My alcoholic dad left us when I was ten and my mother worked her ass off to make sure I could go to college!"

Is she telling the truth? Is this perfect girl damaged like me? If so, why is she always smiling everytime I see her?

She takes another step toward me. Infuriated. "I got my own job as soon I turned sixteen to help with bills." Her hands wave down at her outfit, "and I happen to like my clothes, sorry if I don't dress like a slut like all the girls around you! For someone who tries to hard to stand out and be different, you sure are judgmental!"

Judgmental? She's calling me judgmental after labeling girls who dress a certain way, sluts? She's staring at me now, waiting for my reaction but I don't have one. I'm rendered speechless by this fiery, judgmental yet intriguing woman.

"You know what, I don't want to be friends with you anyway," she says before my mouth decides to make a move. Tessa reaches for the door handle and I panic.

"Where are you going?" I ask her.

She's confused now and so am I. "I'm going to the bus stop so I can go back to my room and never, ever come back here again. I'm done trying to be friends with any of you." Her eyes fill with tears and I feel like a complete shit. On one hand, having her hate me will be better in the long run, but on the other.. Well, I'm just not sure.

"It's too late to take the bus alone." Looking the way she does and the fact that she's been drinking liquor all night, it woud be a really fucking bad idea to go to the bus stop alone.

"You're not seriously trying to act like you care if something happened to me." Tessa laughs, shaking her head.

"I'm not saying I do.. I'm just warning you. It's a bad idea. You know it is." I tell her. I glance at my bookshelf, comparing her to Catherine, the main female character from the book of mine she was reading when I walked in.

She's a lot like her, moody and has too much to prove. Elizabeth is the same, always opening her mouth to prove a point. I like it.

"Well Hardin, I don't have any other options. Everyone's drunk, including myself!" She starts to cry, I soften a little. Why is she crying? She's always crying, it seems.

"Do you always cry at parties?" I try to cheer her up the only way I know how, with sarcasm.

"Apparently, since these are the only parties I've ever attended," Tessa opens my door and I follow behind her.

"Theresa," My voice is soft, softer than I knew it could be. When my eyes meet hers she stumbles and grips the edge of my dresser. "You okay?" I ask her, she nods. She looks confused, pissed and stunning, mostly pissed though.

Do I care if she's okay? She's sick and drunk and there's no way in hell I'm going to try and gain points against Zed tonight, I don't want to.

"Why don't you just sit down for a few minutes, then you can go to the bus station?" I suggest.

She begins to leave again and I realize that I made it clear she couldn't be in my room. "You can sit in here," I offer her. I don't like people in my room, but at least Tessa will read my books...

"I thought no one was allowed in your room?" Her voice is soft and full of curiosity as she sits on my floor. If she knew all the shit that has been on my floor, she wouldn't be sitting there, I'm sure.

I find myself smiling and the moment I realize what I'm doing, I stop immediately. "It won't happen again." I make myslef clear. She nods and hiccups, looking as if she's going to get sick any second. "If you throw up in my room," I warn her. She will be cleaning that shit up, that's for sure.

"I think I just need some water," Tessa tells me.

I hand her my cup of water. "Here."

Her hand pushes against the cup as she rolls her eyes in annoycance. "I said water, not beer."

"It is water." I say. "I don't drink."

She snorts.

"Surprised?"

"You're not going to sit here and babysit are you?" Tessa asks me. She's in my room asking me if I'm going to babysit her? Hell yes I am. I'm not going to leave her alone in here to fuck with my shit or throw up all over my books.

"You bring out the worst in me." Her voice is harsh, surprising me out of my silence.

"That's harsh." I snap at her. I bring out the worst in her? She doesn't even know me. I continue, "And yes, I'm going to sit here and babysit you. You're drunk for the first time in your life, and you have a habit of touching my things when I'm not around."

I sit down on my bed as she takes a drink of my water. Thought so.

I watch her carefully as she gulps down my water. The way her eyes close and she licks her lips when she's finished, the way she breathes too heavily. I stare at her without her noticing and try my damnedest not to over-think why I'm staring at her in the first place.

There's just so damn much that I don't know about her, so many thing I want to know.

She seems so readable from the outside. She's blond, beautiful in a simple way and I can tell by the old fashioned way she speaks that she spends hours and hours with her face buried in a book yet her temper and the giant chip on her shoulder makes me wonder what's deeper. "Can I ask you a question?" I speak without thinking.

I try and smile at her but I get the feeling that I look like a fucking creep. Her brows push together, "sure," she draws out her answer.

What the hell am I going to ask her? I had assumed she would tell me to go to hell, not say sure. "What do you want to do after college?" I go for the easiest question I can think of. I know that I should've asked something more personal, something to help me win this game with Zed.

Tessa seems to ponfer her answer, tapping her finger against her chin before she answers. "Well, I want to be an author or a publisher, whichever comes first."

I could see that, easily.

"What about you Hardin, what do you want to do after college?" She turns to me, her eyes full of curiosity.

I don't tell her that I plan to do the exact same thing as she does. Instead, I roll my eyes.

"Are those your books?" Tessa waves toward my bookshelves.

"They are," I mumble.

"Which one is your favorite?" Fucking Christ, she's nosy.

"I don't have a favorite." I lie. She's getting too personal and she's been in here a while. Her knowing my favorite books won't help me get what I want.

I need to turn this around, make it less personal. I need to annoy her. "Does Mr. Roger's know you're at a party again?" My smirk matches her scowl. Mission accomplished.

"Mr. Rogers?" She clearly doesn't get my reference.

"Your boyfriend." I explain. He's the biggest square I have even seen."

"Don't talk about him like that, he is.. he is..nice." I can't help but laugh at the way she fumbles for a compliment about her loafer wearing boyfriend. "You could only dream of being as nice as he is," she waves a finger at me.

"Nice? That's the first word that comes to your mind when talking about your boyfriend? Nice is your 'nice' way of calling him boring." I laugh. Nice? Really?

"He isn't boring, you don't know him." She's fearless and pushy with her way of defending him.

"I know that he's boring. I could tell by his cardigan and loafers." I'm laughing now, really laughing and my stomach tigthens. I can't help it. When I look up at her pissed off expression, I laugh harder.

"He doesn't wear loafers." Tessa covers her mouth to hide her need to laugh. I get it. I would laugh too. She takes another drink of my water and I keep going.

"Well, he has been dating you for two years and hasn't fucked you yet, I would say he's a sqaure." As the words hit the air, Tessa spits water back into my cup.

"What the hell did you just say?" Her tone is venemous. Mission accomplished.

"You heard me, Theresa." I smile at her, fueling her anger.

"You're an asshole, Hardin." cold water splashes against my face. I gasp, surprised by the audacity of her. I thought we were having fun, throwing rude comments back and forth. She's overreacting.

She leaves my room quickly, as I wipe the water from my stunned face.

(Hey guys!! I'll be updating again this Thursday! I'm finally home and it's amazing and gives me much more time to write lol! I have a signing this Saturday in San Antonio, then The Grove in Los Angeles Feb 24, (the day After Ever Happy is released, eeeeekk) and then The Mall of America the 26th of Feb! I'll keep you updated on these through Instagram (imaginator1d) and Twitter (imaginator1dx) Where are you guys from and how is your week?? )