I anxiously waved my hand in the air, trying to get the attention of a taxi driver but no one seemed to notice me.

I gulped.

My foot continuously tapped on the ground to the rhythm of a song I just now remembered to distract myself from his thoughts.

Finally, a taxi stopped next to me, smiling.

I rushed into the car, not even putting my luggage into the trunk but stuffing it in the seat next to me.

"Please. I need to head to Hell's Pass Hospital in South Park immediately. I'll pay extra if you drive faster."

"Sorry, sir, i'll have to follow the law but I'll try my best to get you there as fast as possible."

My foot began tapping again. The silence made me nervous and even more aware of my watch's ticking than before.

Nervously, I put my thumb and index finger on my nose bridge, squinting my eyes in pain.

Funnily enough, I wasn't heading to the hospital to ease my own pain but to see an old friend so to say.

Everything was so different now, I thought to myself after taking a glimpse out the window.

After my little sister Tricia died, I couldn't bear to stay in South Park and left, only telling my parents.

I didn't even say goodbye to any of my friends and continued to cut them off by blocking their calls and ignoring their messages.

Yes, I felt bad but being close to anything or anyone I could associate with Tricia was too hurtful.

Even though it was still hard, I decided to come back after a year in Peru to see how my friends were doing.

One particular friend.

I was informed immediately after it happened but just recently decided to actually read the messages.

And that was something that I could never forgive himself.

Because after Tricia's death the thing I was supposed to learn was that the time with somebody was always limited.

That life was cruel, unpredictable.

There it was, the hospital I hadn't seen in ages.

I wondered if Dr. Doctor was still in employment.

It didn't seem busy.

A few nurses were running around in light green outfits and masks while the front desk manager filed her long neon pink nails.

"Excuse me?", I asked.

She looked up and stared at me with an annoying undertone asking "What?".

"Is Tweek Tweak here? In which room does he stay in?"

"Are you relatives?"

"No!", I frowned. "Friends! We're friends."

"196."

Even though I ran my whole breath away, I stopped right in front of the white slide door with the black, thick writing '196'.

I sighed and slowly slid the door open.

Tweek Tweak was on a hospital bed, a white hospital gown with a few light green spots, needles stuck in his arms and multiple monitors showing numbers and graphs I didn't understand.

I was looking outside the window with a light breeze rustling through his blond, still messy hair and a small ray of sunshine right above his blue eyes.

Our relationship was complicated.

We were still together, technically. Because we never broke up and I just left before they could.

Actually, we wouldn't have anyway. It was going well. We liked each other.

I never really understood the difference between platonic and romantic feelings for Tweek because I never gave them a second thought.

I liked being with him, I felt comfortable and was happy around him and that was all that mattered to me.

The question of real love was never discussed. Not between them, not in my mind.

But in this moment, when I saw Tweek's lifeless eyes staring outside this even more lifeless hospital room, I felt like I was looking at Ophelia's painting.

"Tweek..", I lightly whispered.

He turned around in shock, being torn out of his daydream.

Even though his pupil was shrinking, he seemed unfazed.

Like part of him was in disbelief but another part of him was angry.

"Craig", Tweek said in a voice he's never heard before.

I gulped in regret after hearing not only how much deeper Tweek's voice had gotten but also how much weaker.

"Hey.. How are you?"

Tweek clicked his tongue.

Looking outside again he replied:"You leave for one year and then come back and try to act like nothing happened? Do I look like I'm doing okay?"

I didn't know what to say and looked at the ground in shame.

Of course I had reasons to leave but I had to admit that it was much easier to leave when I didn't think about anything.

Consequences, feelings..

Now all of these were catching up to me.

"I'm sorry. I don't think I'll ever be able to make it up to you. Just.. In that moment it was what I thought was right.. For me."

Tweek's eyebrows softened as he had to think about Tricia's death and how that probably made him feel in the past, probably right now too.

"I know", Tweek sighed. "I know you had your reasons. It was just unfair to hear them from someone else, you know? I don't forgive you. Especially for no replies to my attempts to reach out."

Now that I took a good look at Tweek, I saw his eyebags, his constant coughing and his pale, pale face.

I bit my lip.

"I heard you have some heart problems. Kinda. I don't know, I only heard a bit from your family and stuff.."

Tweek looked at the needle rammed into his right hand:"My heart's failing. There's no heart donor, I've been put on a list but no one ever volunteered so.. It's pretty much too late for me."

"How long have you been waiting?", I asked, concerned.

"A while", Tweek said in an accepting voice. "So long that it's clear that I'll die soon."

"What?"

"I'll be transferred into a hospice soon. I can feel myself dying, Craig. God, I'll just call it terminal."

Tweek's acceptance and calmness disturbed me.

Even though I knew that it was serious, I didn't expect Tweek to die anytime soon.

After all, we spent so much of their childhood together, it was surreal to imagine a world without him.

But I did feel a part of Tweek already dying by the way I spoke to him.

"At least you don't twitch around anymore", I joked in hopes to make Tweek laugh even though it was hard to evaluate if it was appropriate or not.

Fortunately, Tweek chuckled:"Right. I don't have any energy or power to do anything like that anymore. But honestly it's probably because they don't serve drugged coffee in the hospital like my parents did for years."

"You knew?"

"Obviously. But what could I have done, I was already addicted. They don't let anything slide in here though. First few weeks were hard, trust me."

I felt the shame crawling on his back again after realizing I wasn't even there in Tweek's first weeks in the hospital.

I felt guilty for not knowing. For not supporting him and imagining how scary it must have been.

The silence was rather uncomfortable.

I had so many things to say but just.. stayed silent.

"How come you're so calm about dying?", I finally spoke up.

"What's the point in fighting? The doctor says I have six months maximum, then I have six months maximum. I'm not God."

Six months maximum hit me like a bus.

He didn't expect his time to be so short but then again it would have been longer if I showed up earlier.

"Anything you wish you would have done? In your life, I mean."

"Not really. I don't know. I never thought about it, dude."

The 'dude' made me smile. It reminded me of old times and assured me of Tweek's slowly gaining his trust again.

"Hey. I'll visit tomorrow again. I'm gonna stay for a while, in South Park, I mean. Just.. write me a list with ten things you want to do before you die. Bucket list, you know?"

Tweek grinned at the many things that immediately came up in his mind:"Yeah. Not like I have anything better to do."

I wanted to hug him, take his hand and squeeze it tightly but was actually still standing at the entrance.

When I left the room, I realized how Tweek's eyes lost their sparkle again and made it my goal to give him back at least a little bit of hope.

Which was ironic in a way because a year earlier, I was the less emotional person in the relationship.

Maybe that was what hurt me even more. How one person could change so much to the point where they were truly unrecognizable.

And the fact that I wasn't there to prevent it.