"I'm sorry about earlier, Raph. I didn't mean for that to happen." His eyes widened and his heart pounded in his rib cage. What was she talking about? The kiss? Did she regret it like he feared she would?

"You mean-?" He began nervously, but was interrupted as Madi realized what he thought she had meant. She chuckled slightly and shook her head at him. Silly love-struck turtle, jumping to conclusions when he's confused. He was adorably out of his comfort zone and it made made a small smile gently fall onto her lips.

"I'm not talking about the kiss, Raph." She assured him. "I meant Mikey interrupting us." A subconscious weight lifted from the poor guy's chest and he felt like he could breathe again. He hadn't done anything wrong when it came to that part. Good. That was a good sign. But if he hadn't done anything wrong, then what was up with her?  Why hadn't she stayed and talked with him at the manhole before going back into the sewers?

"But if it wasn't me, then why-"

"It's complicated." Madi sighed and ran a hand over her slightly frizzy braided blonde hair. "It's not about you, well, not really. It's just that... the last time we were close, you ended up in a coma and I went away for half a year to ninja-rehab."

"Madi, that wasn't because of us being, well, us." His cheeks were turning crimson as he glanced at the floor and his three-fingered hand rubbed the back of his neck. But even as the words left his mouth, he knew that he wasn't speaking the whole truth. A large portion of that drama was caused by Shredder and his personal hatred for everything involving Hamato Yoshi. But those remaining pieces that were Shredder-free... Raph wouldn't have jumped into that river if he didn't love her. She wouldn't have needed to leave if the guilt she felt for putting him in such a life-threatening situation hadn't closed in on her like a constrictive snake.

"Raph..." She sighed once more and followed his gaze to the floor, where her eyes stayed locked on. "Do you really want to go through that again? Because I can't. I don't..." Madi took a deep breath and he looked up at her. She had a brave, stoic expression on her face, but he could see the tears threatening to fall in the corners of her eyes. "I don't want to put you through the same thing that happened to Leo and Em."

Raph thought a moment, then scoffed and put his hands on her shoulders, making her look up at his face. 

"That's stupid," he started. "Being with Em was- and hopefully is- the best part of his life. Do you know how happy they were together? They were inseparable which, now that I look back at it, was pretty annoying, but..." Here came the hard part. But it was now or never. "But I understand now. I completely understand. I get it."

"Raph-"

"No, just hear me out." He continued, speaking a little too fast for his mind to fully think about his words before he said them. "You make me miserable." Madi raised an eyebrow and a horrified expression crossed the red-masked turtle's face. "No, I didn't mean it like that. What I mean is whenever you're around, whenever I'm with you, I am completely and utterly miserable. But in a good way."

"That really helps clear that up." Madi couldn't help but laugh slightly. This was just too cute. 

"And now you're laughing." Raph groaned in defeat and let go of her shoulders.

"I'm not laughing at you, you're just adorable." She smiled before kissing his cheek. "I understand what you mean. And you make me miserable, too." At that, they both couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't a loud, obnoxious laugh like Mikey did whenever he heard something funny. It was small, slight, barely there, only noticeable by the tiny smirk it left after. Simple. Innocent.

It was then, it that moment, that they realized just how close they were, just how silent it had gotten, just how perfect the scene really was. Here she was, a broken girl under the illusion that she was repaired, and a fragmented boy looking straight at the only thing in the world that could make him whole again and finally realizing it. Those three words he said all those months ago, that early morning when she was barely awake, too tired to recall any of it, echoed in his mind. He wanted to say them again. He wanted her to hear it. He ached for her to hear each one on repeat. She deserved someone who cared about her. 

She wanted to say them, too. Just as badly as he wanted. But it was just too risky. She was setting herself up for another heart-break, even worse than the incident with Daniel. Worse than it all. She couldn't do it. The vulnerability of the mere concept of this, of them, together. It would make them weak. And if Raph was weak, he was more likely to get hurt. She couldn't do this. Not to herself. Not to him.

"Madi, I-"

"We should go back out there before people start getting suspicious." She interrupted him.

He'd never seen anyone leave a room so quickly.

* * * * * * * * *

The day was long and exhausting and Madi ended up sorer than sore when the sun finally went down on her first full day back. Over the months in solitude with only the peaceful Master Splinter to keep her company, she'd forgotten what it was like to be crazy and energetic and full of anything but peace. Mikey was like a wake-up call for a bear hibernating through winter. His spirit, his contagious laughter and squeals of delight, even his wide-eyed smiles put a bolt of energy through her that she'd lacked severely over her time away.

She'd barely had a single moment to catch her breath within the last twelve hours.

It was after the sun sank below the horizon when, finally, she was given an opportunity to distance herself from the over-excited mutant turtle. Mikey was a sweetheart, really. He was a delight to be around and could light up a room with a single clever phrase. But there was only so much hype one person could take.

"I volunteer," She was the first to speak up when Leo started assigning people to different areas of the city. The current section that was up for grabs just so happened to be where Shredder's lair was located, and Madi was curious to find out what the evil mastermind was up to lately. "I'll take the Southern section and meet up with Mikey and Donnie in the Eastern when I've finished. If I go alone, I can be quick and cover more ground." She added that last sentence at the end when Raph and Mikey began to object.

"She has a point. She's faster than all of us combined. And definitely more skilled." Donnie pointed out as he leaned on his bo staff. Face determined, he sheathed his weapon onto the back of his shell and nodded. She nodded a subtle thanks in  reply. Donnie knew what she was thinking, he was clever like that. And he understood her. "Mikey and I will see you in a few hours."

That's what brought her to the large dark window of Shredder's lair, peering into the throne room he obnoxiously used to make himself feel more important. No one needed a throne room, he would've been fine if he kept to his office like he'd done when she was a child. But no, he needed to make himself feel like he was the ruler of everything- therefore, adding a throne to the mix. Self-absorbed monster.

The kunoichi squinted her eyes, glaring into the gloomy room before her.

Shredder himself sat at his majestically boring and glorified chair, completely uninterested in whatever his fish and dog mutant lackeys were telling him. Madi recognized Karai's figure standing next to her father, and Daniel slightly off to the side. Her blood starting boiling at the sight of her ex, that snake. That jerk. That stupid sonvua-

She was caught off guard when four foot soldiers suddenly rolled a large white board into the chamber. On the white board were two enormous maps scattered with red dots- one of New York, and the other of... Madi's heart caught in her throat and she fumbled with her cell phone to take a picture before she was caught. It couldn't be, but it was.  

Japan.