[not mine]

Aries: pasty ass noodle

Taurus: demented hamstring

Gemini: fried cuddle nugget

Cancer: annoying ass bundle bun

Leo: twizzlesticks mcgee

Virgo: nerd

Libra: monkey doodoo

Scorpio: illogical rat

Sagittarius: crazy fucking centaur

Capricorn: son of a bitch

Aquarius: bumblebutt

Pisces: flying ass fish pee