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CHAPTER 13

Bella's POV

Ever woken up with a god awful raging headache, and was just like, 'Oh motherfucker, what happened?' Well that's exactly how I woke up today, except soon that feeling changed into, 'Where the hell am I?' I sat up quickly on the bed, causing my head to pound even more.

"You're awake." I let out a yelp of surprise and fell off the bed with a loud thump, pain shooting through my backside. I sat upright, grasping my head as a sharp pang of pain ran through it.

"Here." A hand was placed in front of my face, causing me to jump a little and look up in confusion. After blinking rapidly at the blinding sunlight, I finally recognized who was standing in front of me.

"Jess?" I asked, completely at lost as to what was going on. She helped me up gently, pushing me back slightly so that I sat back down onto the bed.

"How did I get here?" I asked, looking around at her completely pink room. She watched me silently for a couple moments before answering.

"Liam dropped you off. He said he didn't want your parents getting mad at you for being so wasted, so he brought you here. He looked really mad though..." She stared at the ground, a guilty look shadowing her face. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" She bit her lip nervously and looked at me, guilt now completely covering her expression.

"I'm the reason you got so wasted! I should have been a better friend but I wasn't!" She said, her voice no more than a whisper.

My eyes widened and despite my protesting body, I stood up, placing my arms on her shoulders. "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is." She said with a sigh. "You don't need to lie."

"Jess," i snapped, causing her to look up at me. "I drank because of jealousy. I saw Connor with another girl and I just... I couldn't handle it." I whispered the last part, glancing away before looking back at her.

"I'm just glad you're okay and that you remember everything." She said, pulling me into a small hug. I pulled away quickly though, shoving her away. I sprinted out into the hall in a frantic attempt to find the bathroom. After a good five minutes of dry heaving, I leaned back against the cool, tiled, wall and listened to the sound of the flushing toilet.

"Here, take these." Jess said, handing me two aspirin and some water. I took them gratefully, although I would have given anything to have some of that weird drink my mom makes- weird, yes, but it really does work.

"Jess..." I choked out hoarsely, placing the empty glass to the side. "When I say I remember why I drank- I mean that's all I can remember. After that... it's a blur." I felt the slightest twinge of fear begin to fill me as I watched her face pale and a small groan to emit from her.

"Oh no..." She said, sliding down the wall next to me.

"Oh god! What happened? I didn't have sex, did I?" I asked, panicking.

"Bella! Calm down!" She said, her eyes wide as saucers. "It's just... you were so out of it, well then again, so was I..." I stared at her as she spoke, sudden confusion taking over.

"How come you're not hungover?" I asked.

"Bella, its three o'clock and I've already drank 4 cups of coffee and pretty much drank enough water to fill a lake." My heart nearly stopped beating when I realized what time it was.

"Oh my god." I gasped, reaching to grab my phone. Once again, my eyes bugged out. I swear, if it keeps going at this rate, my eyes are going to fall out of my head. "Jess, where is my phone?" I asked, seeing that I was now wearing a t-shirt and pajama shorts over my underwear and bra.

"You had them in your p-" She turned to me in shock.

"It's at Connor's house." I said, confirming the answer to the question that I knew she was going to ask.

"Ok... this is fine." She said standing up. "It's not like anything and happened between you two." I nodded numbly standing up also. We headed downstairs, Jess grabbing her car keys along the way.

"Jess?" I asked after we started driving.

"Yeah?"

"Why did Liam look mad when he dropped me off?" That question had been burning in my mind, yet after everything, I still couldn't find the answer.

"I'm not sure..." She said trailing off as she took a sharp left turn. "He seemed to want to get rid of you as soon as possible." I groaned and lowered my head into my hands. What had I done to Liam?

"Did you guys get into a fight?" She asked, glancing at me. I didn't know what to say, so I shrugged. To be honest, I had no idea what even happened- but slowly, I was remembering bits and pieces. Like the part where I was groped by a bunch of guys... Not exactly my proudest moment.

"Alright, do you want me to go with you?" Jess asked, stopping the car. I paused, thinking over what she said.

"No... I'll be fine." I said, taking a deep breath and getting out of the car. By now my headache and nausea had gone down a lot, making it easier to focus.

Cellphone. That's all I want.My cellphone.

"I hope it worked, Connor." I stopped in surprise as some blonde girl walked out of his house, Connor leaning casually on the doorway. I stared at the girl in confusion- she looked so familiar...

WAIT! She's that girl I saw kiss Connor that time I ditched school. Then my blood ran cold as an unwanted memory rushed back.

I walked in on on her- with Connor.

"Bella?" I snapped out of my trance, looking up in embarrassment to realize I had just been standing there. The blonde had some mischievous glint in her eye, but gave me a warm smile. Connor stared at me with a blank expression, standing in only in boxers. The sight made me sick to my stomach.

Connor fucked some girl last night- well, I guess she isn't some girl... They seem to have history together.

"I-I-I... my, er... my cellphone." I ended up whispering. The girl giggled a little, causing me to snap my head up in her direction. Her delicate hand wrapped around Connor's as she watched me, that same mischievous sparkle in her eyes. I frowned and dug my nails into my hand in attempt to distract myself.

"I don't know where it is." Connor said dully. As if i had left, he turned to the other girl, whispering into her ear.

My jaw dropped as she looked me up and down, giggling and nodding to whatever Connor said. I looked down at my t-shirt and fuzzy shorts, and the neon flip flops I was wearing.

Wow. I looked like an idiot.

Feeling extremely self conscious, and wrapped my arms around my body, biting my lip nervously. Connor pulled away from the girl, an annoyed expression clouding his once happy one when he realized I was still there.

"What could you possibly want now?" He hissed, his eyes dark and angry. I shrunk back a little at his tone, my stomach twisting in different directions.

"M-my phone." I stammered.

"H-her phone." Blondie mimicked me, causing Connor to laugh and grin. The sickening sensation in my stomach quickly disappeared, pure anger and annoyance taking over.

"Yes, you fucking bitch. I am here for my god damn phone." I snarled, shoving past them and through Connor's opened door. I couldn't help but enjoy their shocked expressions by my sudden outburst. I did a quick double take when I saw house trashed his house was. Remembering what I needed, I headed out the back door. Welcomed by the cold gust of air, I shivered uncontrollably as I looked for my jeans.

"You can't callme a fucking bitch." I turned around to see a now pissed blonde, Connor standing behind her.

I scoffed, turning back to look around. "Oh really? Why not?" I asked, miraculously spotting my ripped jeans in a bush in the back. As I reached it, I numbly grabbed my jeans.

"You're just mad because you're jealous." I completely froze. My heart had stopped beating and my mouth turned to cotton.

"Yeah... you're jealous." Amusement lacing her tone. I couldn't speak, only shake my head in a desperate attempt to say no. With shaking fingers I struggled to undo the zipper for the pocket on my pants.

Just get your phone and leave, I told myself, my heart now beating rapidly.

"I'm not jealous." I spat out, gripped my jeans tightly in my hands as I glared at her. She stared at me, her expression blank. Annoyed, I began struggling to get my phone out once again.

"Yes you are." She said.

That did it- I snapped. Flinging my jeans onto the soft patch of grass next to me, I crossed my arms angrily and glared at her.

"I know when I'm jealous- and right now, I'm not." I hissed, my eyes narrowing.

"Maybe so..." She said trailing off thoughtfully. "But you'd be lying if you said you were never jealous- like last night? That was..."

I held my breath, my nails cutting into my skin.

"Priceless." She finished with a smirk, turning back to Connor and wrapping her arms around his neck.

The pain was excruciating.

Jealous? I really wasn't.

Hurt? Beyond repair.

Let's face it- I let myself fall into Connor's charm. And this pain? This hurt? It's just the price I have to pay.

Completely ignoring the fact I was leaving my jeans, I quickly walked back to them, hesitating slightly before walking past them. Just before I reached the front door, I turned back. They were staring at me, unreadable expressions.

"Why?" I asked, hating myself for how weak and dejected my voice sounded. For the third time, my nails dug into my palm, waiting for his answer.

Connor shrugged and with a cold smirk he spoke the five words that had been haunting me ever since... you know who. "You're just not good enough."

Broken.

I felt broken.

Suddenly a sharp pain went through my hand, causing me to gasp. I lifted my hand just as the blood began dripping from my cuts.

"Oh my-" I looked up to see the now shocked expressions of Connor and that girl.

"I'm not good enough." My voice cracked, tears that I had been fighting off were now cascading over my face. Without another word, I flung open the door, sprinting away. Ignoring Jess's questioning yells, I ran blindly through the streets, not once stopping to look back.

Seeing an empty park, I collapsed onto the cold ground, curling into a ball and sobbing.

I hate myself- i hated the way I let Connor's- well Sam's words, get to me.

Looking at the blood on my palm, I realized something.

I deserved this.

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Jess's POV

"What did you do to her?" I snarled, clenching my fists together.

"I-I nothing!" Connor said, his eyes wide.

"Nothing?" I shrieked incredulously. I was breathing heavily after trying to chase after Bella, but had to give up and chose to find out what happened. "You honestly expect me to believe that?" I took a small step back as Connor's eyes narrowed, and anger crept into his expression.

"What makes you think you can just yell at me like that?" He hissed out, taking a menacing step forward. I lost all previous confidence as I took another step back, Connor mirroring my movements. I looked at the girl for help, only to realize she wasn't standing there anymore.

"Well?" He was so close now, my heart was pounding with fear.

I had forgotten how scary he really is- how intimidating he can be.

"You have no right to hurt my best friend." I said in a mere whisper, feeling the pillar on his porch graze my back. Connor scoffed, and looked away for a moment. When he looked back- well let's just say, he didn't look too happy. Before I coulees stop myself, I took another step back, pressing myself up against the pillar. Connor took that to advantage and leaned in, trapping me.

"So when she hurt me, it was okay?" I gulped, and pressed myself closer into the pillar.

"W-what are you t-t-talking about?" I stammered, my heart racing. A cold smile appeared on Connor's face.

"You're best friend isn't as perfect as you think. Seems like I'm not the only one who toys with people's emotions." He said, his voice hard and icy. I stared at him, completely confused- and scared.

"She never did anything wrong." I said, trying to sound confident.

"You sure about that? You know you're talking about Bella, right? The same girl who is playing around with three guys?" I frowned and glared at him.

"Playing around? I thought that was you're specialty. And first of all, she barely even knows Jack so I don't know how she could possibly be using him. And as for Liam? I think he might be the only one she might actually like. You're the player- the bad ass. The one who humps and dumps. Isn't that the term you use?" I asked, my heart racing from all the anger i was feeling. Connor's eyes narrowed and he took a step closer, his body pressing onto mine.

"I only slept with Sammy so that Bella would get jealous." He snarled, his hot breath fanning over my face causing my breath to hitch in my throat.

"B-but why?" I asked.

"Cause I like her!" He said, backing away and throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. My eyes widened as I took this in.

"You should never, ever sleep with someone in order to get someone else." I scolded in, noticing as this Sammy girl stepped onto the porch.

"Listen, Jess. That's your name right?" She asked. I nodded my head slightly, not liking the tone of her voice. "If a girl is going to ignore you and play hard to get, the best way to get her is to make her jealous." She stated, acting like it was nothing.

I scoffed and crossed my arms. "Listen up Connor. Bella has been through hell and back, so making her jealous? You're just hurting her. She's an amazing person and you know what? You're not worthy of her. She deserves better." My voice was venomous. I watched as Connor scowled and took a slight step forward.

"Are you saying I can't have her?"

"Exactly." I said, lifting my head up a little.

A mischievous look sparkled in his eyes. "I get what I want- and for what I can't have? I don't give up." He turned to walk back inside, Sammy in front of him.

"You don't get it!" I cried out in frustration, causing him to turn around in annoyance. "This isn't some game- Bella isn't like the other girls you've gone through before." Once again I found myself trapped as Connor advanced upon me.

"You would know, right?" He said softly, the venom still there. "You were one of the easy ones." I couldn't help but let his words get to me as tears welled up in my eyes and my bottom lip quivered- telltale signs that I was going to cry any second now.

"What's going on?" Both Connor and I were so distracted at the moment, we hadn't even noticed James pull up in his car with Matt.

"Jess was just leaving." Connor said, backing away from me. I quickly wiped my cheek as a tear escaped. Without another word, I walked off the porch, heading towards my car. Just as I walked past Matt and James, a hand grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop. I looked up to see James studying my face, and look of concern on his.

"What did you do?" He snapped at Connor. I continuously wiped away the tears that were now flowing down my face.

"Nothing." Connor said with an uncaring shrug. Something in me snapped as I looked up to glare at him, a short, bitter laugh escaping me.

"You may have been able to get way with all the crap you've pulled over the years, but I swear to god, Connor- don't you dare hurt Bella. She has been through way to much and she doesn't need you to put her through all this emotion pain- she's already been hurt, physically hurt. She doesn't deserve to be emotionally and mentally abused too." With that, I yanked my arm away from James and left without a word. Just as I turned the corner, I couldn't help but glance back at them. Their faces were pale and they looked completely shocked- and only then did it hit me. 

I had just told them Bella's biggest secret. 

More specifically- I had told Connor Michaels. 

I groaned and banged my head onto the steering wheel. 

How was I going to tell Bella?

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Bella's POV

I was being overdramatic. By now my cut had stopped bleeding, yet I still I stayed there, curled up on the hard ground. I had spent what seemed hours thinking over what happened- more like convincing myself that I didn't deserve what happened. 

If there's anything I believe in, it's that 'Everything happens for a reason.' At the hospital and in therapy, a lot of people told me that. It wasn't until after I got out, that I realized it's right. 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 

I shouldn't feel weak or vulnerable anymore. I've been through a lot, so letting Connor get to me- that was ridiculous. I'm better than him. I don't need him trying to fuck up my life, it's barely even been two months of school and already I couldn't have to leave. 

It shouldn't be that way. 

I took a deep breath and stood up, my legs shaking a bit. Then I remembered something- something that happened last night. 

*Flashback*

"Bella you are really drunk." He said. A look of concern loomed over his perfect features, reminding me why I liked him.

"Come on, let's get you a drink." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. He frowned and gripped my arms, lightly pulling them away from his face.

 "I don't drink." He said slowly.

 "Why not?" I asked, my eyes wide and I stumbled a bit. He steadied me, looking upwards before he spoke.

 "My sister was ki-"

 "BORING!" I yelled, giggling afterwards. Liam stared at me in shock, before his expression hardened and he pushed me away, stalking off. I stared at him, completely confused, before chasing after him. I miraculously managed to catch up with him, grabbing his arm and forcing him to stop.

 "What's the matter with you?" I slurred. Liam looked completely pissed as he glared down at me.

 "Leave me alone, Bella." I gripped him arm tightly, refusing to let him walk off just like that.

 "Why?" I asked, confused as to why he was acting so mean.

 "Why? Bella are you serious?" He asked, leaning in a bit.

 "Was this because I didn't want to listen to your stupid story?" I guessed. A look of pain and hurt washed over Liam's face and he yanked his arm out of my grip.

 "You're heartless." He spat out, "I'm done with you. I thought you were different, but I was sadly mistaken." 

*End of Flashback*

I let out a sickened noise and dropped my head into my hands, tears threatening to fall out at any second. 

How could I have said that to Liam? Just the thought of it made me want to throw up. I was disgusted in myself- ashamed that I would say that. I have to go apologize, I thought to myself. Looking around, it was only then did I realize I had no idea where I was. 

I sighed, this was the price of being a drama queen. 

"Limmy! I want to go on the swings!" I turned to see an adorable little girl bound up the hill and towards the playground, giggling a shrieking with delight. I couldn't help but smile as she ran towards the swing set, her arms flailing. I looked around for someone else- a parent or sibling. Seeing no one there, I frowned, turning back just as she tripped, hitting the ground hard.

"Oh no!" i gasped, running over to her, picking up speed as her sobs rang out. I quickly, kneeled down, lifting her slightly so that she was in a sitting position. 

"Honey, are you okay?" I asked, wiping the dirt off her arms, checking for any scratches or cuts. 

"Where's Limmy?" She wailed, standing up. I quickly stood up, looking around once more. 

"Who's Limmy?" 

"M-my uncle! Where did he go?" She asked, holding onto my leg as she sobbed. My maternal instinct kicked in, and I picked her up, holding her to my side. She wrapped her arms around my neck as she continued to cry. 

"Lily! Lily, come back here!" The little girl stopped crying and pushed away from me, causing me to nearly drop her. I set her on the ground as she ran towards another running figure. 

"Limmy!" She cried out, hugging the guy around his legs. He lifted up the little girl, holding her as I did just moments before. 

"Never run away again, okay?" He scolded her, holding her close. She nodded, burying her face into     his neck. The guy looked up at me, finally giving me a clear view of his face. 

"Thank y- Bella?" My eyes widened as he stared at me, disbelief covering his face. I looked from Lily to Liam, completely confused. 

"Limmy! Swings!" Lily said. Liam quickly put her on the ground, allowing her to run to the swing set, slowing down to make sure she wouldn't fall again. 

"Kick you're legs back and forth like I taught you!" Liam called out as she hopped onto the swing, kicking like a professional. 

"So... Limmy?" I asked, amusement shining in my eyes. Liam almost smiled back- keyword almost. 

"I should go..." He said, about to walk past me. I panicked and grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. I felt him stiffen, a hardened expression. 

"Wait please..." I whispered, moving so that I was standing directly in front of him. He frowned and looked down at me. 

"Bella-"

"I'm so sorry." I blurted out, grasping onto his hands in an attempt to force him not to leave. "I was wasted and I know, I know that's not an excuse," I rushed out, "but I-I'm so sorry!" Liam looked away from me before speaking. 

"I get it, you didn't mean what you said. It's fine, whatever." His voice was cold and emotionless, causing me to flinch back. 

"Liam, I am so-"

"Sorry. Yeah, I heard you." He roughly grabbed his arms away, about to side step me. Tears were pricking the corners of my eyes, but I willed them to stay away. 

"I hate myself for what I did to you. I can't forgive myself and you shouldn't either. This is all my fault." My voice cracked at the end, causing me to stare at the ground to let my hair shield me. A warm hand gripped my chin firmly, forcing me to look up at him. 

"So you remember then. Everything." 

"Y-yes."

"Do you know what I was about to say?" He asked, leaning down so that his face was mere inches away from mine.

"I-I don't know." I whispered, trying to pull away. His grip tightened, not enough to hurt, but enough to let me know I wouldn't be able to get away. 

"What do you think I was about to say?"

"I don't know!" I cried out, pushing his hand off my face. He reacted quickly, wrapping his arms around my waist. 

"You shouldn't drink." He stated, his eyes searching my face.

It's pretty safe to say that I'm a stubborn bitch, and I don't like people telling me what to do. 

"Why not? Why do you care so much?" I snapped, placing my hands on his chest, trying to push him away. His grip tightened around me, causing my body to press up against his. His expression was one of: hurt, anger, and pain.

"Because I can't lose you." I dropped my hands and stared at him in shock. He pulled away, taking a couple steps back. 

"What-"

"My sister's friends were wasted and tried to make her drink. She didn't want to so she left the party to go home, where she got in a car crash and was killed on the spot by a drunken driver." My throat tightened and I took a step forward. 

"Is Lily..."

"Her daughter. She was twenty-six when she was killed. Lily is five years old, almost six." He said. I wrapped my arms around his neck, giving him a hug. 

"You're an amazing person... Looking out for me and that." I whispered, pulling away slightly to look him in his eyes. 

Maybe it was the moment- how right it felt to be in his arms. 

I kissed him. 

"Limmy?" We broke apart, me blushing furiously while Liam grinned as if he had just won the lottery. Lily was standing only two feet away from us, her head tilted to the side in confusion. 

"Lily-"

"Can we get ice cream?" She asked excitedly, clapping her hands as and ice cream truck drove up. Liam smiled and grabbed her hand along with mine, leading us to the truck. I grinned and looked up at Liam as he handed the guy the money, laughing as Lily pretty much dunked her face in the ice cream. 

I giggled as he turned around, handing me the vanilla cone. 

"You didn't-"

"I wanted to." 

3 hours later

I pulled away, breathing heavily. 

"Thank you for taking me home." I whispered, staring up into his eyes. He grinned and pulled away, walking off the porch.

"My pleasure."

Opening the front door and quickly closing it  behind me, I touched my lips lightly, enjoying the tingling sensation that was still there. 

"Bella?" I looked up in shock to see Jess standing in my living room. 

"Jess? Oh I'm so sorry for-"

"I did something bad. Really bad."

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