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Hey, guys! I'm back...kind of. I go back home tomorrow. As those of you who follow me on Instagram know, I'm in Edinburgh, and my holiday ends tomorrow. I thought I'd try to release an updated today.

I can honestly say that I missed you guys and your comments :(

****

PRECAP

Hamza had called Fawad about his father not responding.

Taif and Iman had met, and he had unintentionally said harsh words against Fawad.

****

A FEW HOURS EARLIER

Hamza

Within a day, I had arranged for the best carers in London for him, that included physiotherapists and counsellors to help him deal with the mental impact of the stroke. I'd done my best for my father...but things went wrong anyway.

Hania stood behind me, looking anxious. This was the first time that I was returning to work after Papa's stroke, and I know that she felt as worried as I did. She had been amazing, and extremely supportive, showing an incredible amount of strength. She cooked all the meals herself and she made sure the carers had everything that they needed.

"It'll be fine." I turned and pulled her into my arms. "They're experts. They'll look after him just fine. You just need to keep an eye on things." 

Growing up sucked. Your entire life you expected your parents to do things for you, and then when responsibilities suddenly fall onto your head, it feels like when an anvil falls onto someone's head in cartoons. It all feels heavy and almost painful. I felt lost, travelling down unknown paths without a GPS. This felt overwhelming, but I had to stay strong, for Papa's sake.

"Hamza, I have called Mama over today." She helped me put on my suit jacket. "Is that okay?"

"The mistress of this house doesn't need my permission." I smiled weakly. "You know that Uncle and Aunty, and Iman, are always welcome here without any restrictions." I looked down at her. "Look after yourself as well, okay?" I kissed her forehead. After a quick kiss on her lips, I headed to Papa's room to say goodbye to him.

I knocked on Papa's door and entered. Since the stroke, we had moved him to the downstairs bedroom, to make it easier for him. At the moment, he was alone in the room, sleeping. The medicines he had been receiving were strong and caused drowsiness. "Papa, I'm going to work, but Hania's off today, and the carer will be here soon. Let them know if you need anything, okay?" I ran a hand over his head, like he used to do over mine when I was a child. He had lost a considerable amount of weight in days, and it made my heart break as I saw him lying there weakly. "I'll try and come back as early as possible. Allah Hafiz." Something made me lean down and kiss his forehead. "You have to get better for my sake, Papa. Rabia and I both need you."

A part of me was greatly hesitant to leave him, but I had to focus on his company for his sake as well. It was Papa's pride and hard work, and I would not be negligent towards it.

Hania walked me all the way to my car. "Don't worry. Just focus on your work. The carers are really good. And I'll do all I can to help."

"I'm scared, Han." I admitted. "Every time I leave, I feel like I'm making a huge mistake. I just want to stay by his side all day." 

"I can understand." She whispered. "But this company means everything to him, and you're the one he completely trusts with it. You are the one who needs to handle it."

"I know." I ran a hand through my hair. "That's the only reason that I'm leaving. Otherwise wild horses wouldn't have dragged me away from him."

She put her hands on my shoulders and leaned up to kiss me. For a while, we just leaned against my car, but this kiss seemed to be more to give me strength, than about romance. Hania made me stronger, and I was really glad to have her support in these difficult times.

"Allah Hafiz." I said, kissing her forehead again before I got into my car.

"Allah Hafiz." She replied, standing there and watching as I pulled out of the driveway and drove down the street. 

****

I was stuck in meeting after meeting, and my throat was severely dry from talking so much. In my last meeting of the day, as I grabbed a glass of water, I noticed my phone light up with a message, which is when I noticed the notification for five missed calls from Hania. My phone had been on silent mode during the meetings. My heart almost stopped. Ya Allah.

I excused myself and headed out of the conference room, dialling Hania's number. "Han, what's going on?"

"Iman's outside your office building. She'll drive you home." She said, softly. "We have called an ambulance, Hamza. Uncle has stopped responding."

"W-What do you mean?" 

"His pulse rate is very weak, and he's not waking up." She replied. "Come home, Hamza."

Forgetting the meeting, I ended the call and ran towards the lifts. So many emotions were whirling around in my mind, and my heartbeat was loud enough to drown out all other noises. I dashed out into the lobby as soon as the lift doors opened and the moment I headed down the steps outside the front of the building, I saw Iman waiting in her car. I jumped into the passenger seat beside her, and she pulled out of the parking space. We drove towards my father's house wordlessly. The only sounds were the low hum of the car, or the sound of the indicators when Iman had to make a turn. 

When we got to my house, the ambulance was parked in the driveway. Iman had barely stopped the car when I opened the door and jumped out. I ran faster than I ever had in my life, through the front door and towards Papa's room. The paramedics were blocking my view of my father, leaning over him, talking quietly and quickly to each other. Hania stood at the end of the room, her arms crossed over her chest, tears filling her eyes. "Hamza!"

I ran to her, and she grabbed my arm. "Hania, what happened? He..."

"He had a cardiac arrest. They gave him CPR, but it's..." She stopped talking as her voice broke.

I looked towards the bed, where Papa looked pale and lifeless. "How did he have a cardiac arrest?" 

"From what I've gathered, the stroke had gradually started to affect the part of his brain that was responsible for the heart or something..." She shook her head as tears rolled down her cheeks. "He's a heart patient, which made the situation worse for him."

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't lose him. Until Hania, he and Rabia had been the only ones I'd ever had. Papa had been always there for me, no matter what. I needed him even now.

"We're going to take him to the hospital." The paramedic's voice made us look towards the bed. "We'll have a doctor look at him." 

I nodded, before turning to Hania. "I'm going in the ambulance with him."

"Okay, I'll drive right behind you." She replied. "Keep reciting whatever duas you can remember. May Allah bless him with good health. Ameen."

"Ameen." I said, although looking at Papa, I was slowly losing hope.

"I'm going to perform wudhu, and when I come to the hospital, I'll make duas as well." She said.

I left with Papa in the ambulance then, praying harder than I've ever had that Papa would survive.

****

PRESENT

I paced around the hospital corridor nervously as the doctor tried to save Papa's life. Hania had arrived twenty minutes after I had, and we stood huddled together, waiting for positive news. I had called Fawad Uncle from the hospital, and he was on his way to the hospital, along with Hania's mother. 

 A part of me had already given up hope that I'll ever be able to see Papa alive and well again, but Hania kept a strict faith in Allah, because she was constantly reciting supplications using a tasbeeh (prayer beads). 

If you wish, you can even put life in a stopped heart, Allah. I took inspiration from her and began to silently pray, eyes closed. Please bring Papa back to us. Please cause a miracle that will help him recover from this. Please listen to the dua of this desperate son. He's the one parent who has always genuinely loved me, and I can't bear the thought of losing him. He's yet to see his future grandchildren, In Sha Allah. Please, Allah. Let there be a miracle. A tear fell out of my eye and ran down my cheek, and I felt Hania slide her hand through mine, supporting me as always.

****

Islam teaches us to have a full and complete faith in Allah's mercy. It is said that the love He has for his creations is more than the love of seventy mothers combined*. It's endless and unconditional. When you ask Him for something with tears in your eyes, and with full faith, you will get it, unless it's not good for you. At the end of the day, while praying for something, we must also be ready to accept whatever decision He has made for us.

*I know this in Urdu, but I don't know the number 'sattar', and I'm guessing it's seventy, so please correct me if I'm wrong.

Here, I would like to remind you how Hania and I really got to know each other. Papa was Fawad Uncle's former patient, and former or not, he was also informed by the hospital staff that Papa's cardiac condition had taken a turn for the worst, caused by the stroke. And although, due to conflict of interests, he couldn't actually be directly involved in the treatment, being a well reputed cardiothoracic surgeon, he was there to guide and advise the other staff, as it seemed that the situation with Papa had gotten more and more complicated by the minute.

Hania and I hardly spoke as we waited, our hands clasped tightly. Aunty had arrived as well, and was trying her best to comfort us. It was the most difficult time of my life.

After what seemed like hours, when we saw some nurses rush towards the room where Papa was, my heart almost stopped. Seriously, the last few days had been terribly emotionally draining on me, and I just wanted to leave Earth and fly off to another planet just to catch a break. But before I left, I had to be certain that Papa was going to be okay.

Fawad Uncle came out of the room, looking grim. "Being his former doctor, I am going to be stepping in to handle your father's case. It will require me signing a legal declaration to remain unbiased and performed my duties according to the rules and regulations." He looked hesitant before he spoke the next words. "We would also need you to sign a form, Hamza. We're going to have to perform surgery, and for that we need your consent and..."

"And to protect the hospital from any legal actions?" I guessed. "This surgery is really necessary?"

He nodded. "It will definitely improve his chances." 

Aunty looked a little worried, and I could guess what she was thinking. This was going to be a huge responsibility, with Uncle performing surgery on my father. If anything goes wrong, God forbid...

"If you're performing the surgery, I'll sign the form." I smiled at him. "At least I know that you'll do your best. The rest is up to Allah."

"All the best, Papa." Hania gave him a hug. 

Aunty also gave him a quick hug. "May Allah help you succeed, and may He give Daniyal Bhai a quick and easy recovery. Ameen."

"Ameen." We all said, before Uncle returned inside.

Hania continued with her supplications, and we waited once again.

****

Iman bought some coffee for all of us, and we sat in the waiting room drinking it. I kept repeatedly glancing at my phone to check the time, and it was one of the times when each moment felt an hour long.

Despite the tense situation, I couldn't help appreciating how much Hania's family was supporting me. I felt better just knowing that I had people with me during this hard situation.

"Papa's an excellent surgeon, Ma Sha Allah." Iman reassured me. "And I'm not just being biased, but he's been recognised nationally for his work. In Sha Allah, he will succeed."

Another hour passed by, and Iman was falling asleep leaning her head against her mother's shoulder, while Hania was just repeatedly reading the pamphlets posted onto the notice board in the waiting room, while I was messaging Rabia and Ismael back and forth, discussing Papa's condition with them. During this hour, I had also spoken to Arhaan and Ahad Mamus, as well as Zoya Mumani, and they all had inquired about Papa's health. When I hung up that call, I received a phone call from Fariha Phupho, and I also spoke to Hania's Dado, who was endlessly praying for Papa's good health. I was overwhelmed by all the support I was receiving from Hania's side, whereas my own Phupho hadn't even called once. 

I was just about to doze off when Fawad Uncle walked into the waiting room.

We all stood up, and Iman also woke up when her mother got up.

"Uncle?!" I asked, hopefully.

"Hamza..." His expression and tone gave away nothing, being completely professional. 

Parents are experts at heart attacks.

Currently, Fawad Uncle was about to cause me one by not telling me how the surgery went.

"Uncle, please tell me before you end up having another heart patient in front of you." I said.

"The surgery was successful." He seemed to be in shock himself, as if he couldn't believe that he had succeeded. I swear, I've never seen a man this humble before.

"Fawad..." Jasmina Aunty walked over and hugged him, resting her head against his chest. For a few moments, they just stood like that, and I was in awe at how she seemed to be feeling his stress and tension. They were serious couple goals, and I hoped that one day Hania and I could be even half as close as they were.

As soon as she let him go, I rushed over and hugged him. I actually felt like I was hugging my own father. I certainly respected him like my own father, if not more. He just had saved Papa's life, after all. With the grace of Allah, of course. "Thank you, Uncle."

"There's no need to thank me, Hamza. I was just doing my job." He replied.

I pulled away. "You 'just doing your job' resulted in my father's life being saved. So, even a thank you is not enough."

"Allah willed him to live, Hamza. I was just a means to fulfil His decision." Humble as always, he seemed adamant not to take credit. No wonder Hania's like that. I can see that it's inherited.

"Mere saath itnay saal rehkay bhi aapne credit laina nahin seekha, Fawad!" Aunty rolled her eyes.

*"Even after living so many years with me, you haven't learn to accept credit."

We all laughed lightly, as Hania and Iman hugged their father simultaneously.

"Can I see Papa?" I asked.

"He's just been taken to the recovery room, and you'll get to meet him soon." Uncle replied.

I nodded, relieved.

Hania then hugged me, and I sighed. Alhumdulillah. "I'll go and pray the Shukranay kay nafl."

I headed to the multi-prayer faith room that was located in the basement level of the hospital. A separate area had been built for ablution for Muslims. I took my time to pray and then afterwards raised my hands, thanking Allah endlessly for saving my Papa. 

****

Hania

Iman and I were sitting in the waiting room alone. Mama and Papa had gone down for a coffee, while Hamza was meeting his father. Only he was allowed to meet him right now.

"So...how's life?" I asked casually, trying to attempt a conversation with my own sister.

She was too busy scrolling through her phone. "Well, my sister's father-in-law just recovered from a serious cardiac issue, with the surgery performed by our father. Just another miraculous day in our medical household." 

I couldn't help laughing. "Yeah, Alhumdulillah."

"Alhumdulillah." She repeated. "Allah! I'm hungry." She locked her phone and tucked it away into her bag. "I should have asked Mama to get me a sandwich or something." She rummaged through her back and pulled out a small bag of raisin biscuits. "Ooh! I forget I had these." She tore the bag open and held it towards me. "Want some?"

Normally, I hated raisins...I shuddered at even the sight of them. But today, they looked very tempting, maybe because I hadn't eaten in a while. I grabbed a biscuit and took a bite and close my eyes as my taste buds suddenly seemed to fall in love with the taste of something they'd always hated. It was like one of those hate to love romances that I always read.

"Wait." Iman glanced at the packet, confused. "You do realise this contains raisins, right? You hate raisins!"

Even I was confused, so I simply shrugged. "Tastes can change, Iman. Like you had a taste for trouble, which has now changed into a taste for behaving yourself."

"Ha ha! You're hilarious." She muttered.

I chewed on the biscuit, and realised that I wanted more. I looked at Iman who was happily chewing away, as she resumed scrolling through her phone. Poor girl was hungry. I couldn't ask her for more. "You want something from the shop downstairs? I'm hungry too." 

"Sure, grab me a bag of crisps and a bar of chocolate." She paused. "Oh, and Ribena Strawberry! I'm craving it!"

Craving. That was the word I could use to describe how much I wanted something with raisins right now. Allah! Craving! My eyes widened. No. It couldn't be...Right?

I got up and casually walked out of the room, and the moment I was out of sight, I dashed towards the lifts. I had no idea what I was going to do and where I was going. I didn't want to get any false hopes up, and I just wanted to go and buy a test now to check if my theory was right or not.

The moment the lift doors opened, I raced out into the lobby, towards the shop. First, I had to satisfy my craving. I entered the shop and went to the biscuit sections, and eventually managed to find a packet that contained raisins. Then I got things for Iman, as well as extra things for Hamza. Paying for the items, I came out of the store and immediately took out the bag of biscuits, tearing it open to take a bite. I must have looked like I hadn't eaten for days, but the biscuits were so delicious.

"Han?"

I looked over my shoulder and saw Hamza jogging towards me, eyebrows raised.

"Somebody's hungry!" He grinned.

For a few seconds I just stared at him wide-eyed, but managed to compose myself and retain some of my dignity. "H-How's Uncle?"

"Well, he's still in a post-stroke state, but his heart is healthier." He said. "I literally owe Fawad Uncle my life. He may say that it was just his duty, but for me it meant everything."

I smiled.

He reached out for a biscuit.

"Did you wash your hands after coming out of the ward?" I asked, keeping the biscuits away from him.

"Sahi doctor ki beti ho tum." He laughed. "No, I'll just go and wash them."

*"You really are a doctor's daughter."

He left and I stared down at the biscuits. I was so tempted to go down to the pharmacy and buy a test, but I was too shy, with all my family close by.

When Hamza returned, I blurted out. "I am suddenly loving raisins."

"Congratulations?" He looked confused.

"Hamza, I hate raisins!" I said. "I literally used to feel sick at the sight of them! I once had them as a kid, and then just as I popped the cake or whatever into my mouth, somebody pointed out how the raisins made it more delicious, and I started gagging and spitting the cake out. Mama thought I was throwing up due to food poisoning or something. That's how much I hated raisins, and now I want them!"

"Okay, why are you freaking out over raisins?" He looked bewildered. "Are you coming down with something? Did you catch something in the hospital?"

"Allah! Hamza, you can be such a...raisin!" I couldn't come up with a word in time. 

"Why, because you hated me at first and loved me now?" He teased.

"You are so clueless!" I snapped. "I'm craving raisins!"

"You're craving me?!"

I don't know if he was pulling my leg, or was he genuinely that naïve. "Hamza! Cravings!" I looked at him pointedly.

"Hania, I'm going to get a nurse to wheel you inside. You don't..." Finally realisation dawned on him, and I could almost see the light bulb light up over his head. "Cravings?! As in pregnancy cravings?!"

"I'm glad you realised before the birth of our potential child." I said, sarcastically.

"I'm going to be a Papa?" He grinned.

"Well, I..."

Before I realised what was happening, he jumped in the air, whooping loudly.

"Hamza!" I was mortified. "It's a theory! Calm down!" I looked around and saw people looking at us weirdly, including the hospital security.

"What are we waiting for? Let's get you tested!" Grabbing my hand, he rushed me towards the pharmacy.

"So...I'm guessing you're happy?" I panted as we were jogging.

"No, I cheer loudly in a public space when I'm angry." He chuckled. "My Hania about to give me a human Hamia! How can I not be happy?"

"It's not confirmed." 

"There's hope." He smiled. "I'll take that for now." We stopped outside the pharmacy.

"And what if it's a negative?" I asked, worriedly.

He shrugged. "We have plenty of time to keep on trying."

I blushed at his words and we headed inside, hand in hand, the bag of snacks hanging off my other arm.

Ya Allah! This could be such a huge thing for our family! Mama will immediately run off to buy baby clothes, I have a feeling. And Iman's going to threaten to spoil the baby rotten, as its only Khalla. Ya Allah, no matter what happens, let it be the best for us. If it's negative, please don't let me see disappointment on Hamza's face. And if it's positive, please protect our family from an evil eye. Ameen.

****

Hamza and I returned upstairs after almost half an hour since I'd left Iman.

"I was going to send out a search party!" She stood up, glaring at me. "Knowing you, you'd get lost in a hospital, Appi." 

"I was with Hamza." I replied, sheepishly.

"Whatever." She said. "I'm going home, if that's okay? I need a shower and some sleep." She picked up her bag and as she began to walk past us, she glanced at the bag of snacks in Hamza's hand. "Oh! You got my snacks! Thanks. I'll take them." She reached into the bag and pulled out her crisps, chocolate and drink. "Allah Hafiz." She walked off.

"What are we going to do?" Hamza asked, once we were alone.

I looked at him. "I have to tell Mama, no matter what."

We looked at each other, both of us clueless as to what to do next. I definitely needed my mother, but it won't be easy to tell her this.

****

Iman

I was just exiting the hospital, when I saw a board that listed the names of the doctors around the different wards. Papa's name was there, and I closed my eyes, pressing my finger against his name. I imagined my own name written somewhere underneath his.

Dr Iman Fawad. 

In Sha Allah.

I couldn't even believe myself that I was the same Iman who'd just wanted to annoy her parents all the time. Now, I would do anything to make them smile.

The way Papa had heroically saved the day, with the help of Allah of course, I wanted to do the same one day. 

As I was making my way to my car, I saw a familiar figure walk towards the hospital building.

Taif Bukhari.

And, Allah, he looked like he'd already started doing thirty-something hours shifts, with his hair all messy and his shirt all wrinkly and untucked. 

But then again, he was a medical student and that appearance is a part of who we were.

I ducked my head and quickly made my way towards the car, pretending that I hadn't seen him. It didn't seem appropriate for me to just approach him. 

Maybe one day we'll be colleagues, and then I would just have to face him. 

****

Hania

"Iman's gone home." I told Mama.

I had used the excuse to go to the bathroom, and had practically dragged her along with me.

"Okay..." She looked at me, frowning. "Why did you kidnap me and bring me here?"

"Mama." I sighed, looking at her nervously.

"What happened?" She looked concerned. "Are you unwell? It's not about Daniyal Bhai, right? Because Fawad said that he's in a much better condition now."

I shook my head. "Mama, I need to tell you something." 

"Of course, jaan. What's going on? You're worrying me."

I dropped my gaze to the floor. "Mama, I took a test earlier, and it came out positive. I'm pregnant." 

****

Yay! A Hamza-Hania baby!

Looking forward to see Jasmina's reaction? After all, she and Fawad are going to be Nano and Nana Jaan, possibly!

Is Taif the imaginary future doctor that Iman and Hania once joked about?

This chapter was a very family-based chapter, hence the title.

Thoughts and comments?

Thank you for reading and don't forget to vote!