© All copyrights belong to StarsAndMoon1447 on Wattpad

*

Hamza

Istanbul Airport is huge. Like, so huge that by the time you exit into arrivals, your feet are begging you to take a bloody break. However, I was surprised to see that after almost six and a half hours of flight time, and despite the long way, Hania was completely energised, and seemed to be practically skipping as she walked. She was seriously excited to be here. I chuckled under my breath as I grabbed our luggage and loaded it onto the trolley.

She slid her arm through mine as we headed out. "We have to go on the dinner cruise! Iman and I weren't allowed to go on it the last time. And can you imagine, I didn't speak to Mama and Papa for two whole hours the next day, as I was so disappointed!" 

I laughed. "That doesn't sound like you."

"I was nine and Iman was seven." She explained. "The cruise was between nine and midnight, and my parents were pretty strict when it came to bedtime, especially Mama. The thing is, every time Iman or I stayed up late, we became really hyper for some reason. So yeah, our parents left us with our Dada Jaan and Dado, who had met us in Turkey, and the two went out on their own. I personally think they just wanted a date night, and used bedtime as an excuse."

"Raising you and Iman, they probably deserved a date week." I teased her. "So, two hours is a surprisingly long time to stop talking to them- at least for you. How did they make it up to you?" 

"They didn't. I needed Mama to find something for me, so I had to break the cold silence." She giggled.

"How did Iman react?" 

"Around four hours without the parents around? What do you think?" She smiled, fondly. "If it was just Dado, Iman would have behaved, but Dada Jaan seriously pampered Iman, so she seriously enjoyed herself that night. She snuck in chocolates from the mini-fridge in the suite and ended up being hyper anyway. She was found by our parents in the living area of the suite, asleep on the sofa, with her face covered in chocolate."

"That's adorable." 

"So, yeah, dinner cruise is a must."

"Anything for you, madam." I glanced around and saw the chauffeur from our hotel, holding a sign board that said, 'Mr and Mrs Hamza Daniyal'. "There's our ride."

It took us around an hour to get to our hotel, which was a boutique hotel near Sultanahmet Square. I have visited Turkey a few times, mostly with friends, but it's completely different when visiting with your wife.

Hania fell asleep on the drive, resting her head against my shoulder. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. Even her scent was innocent, if that made sense- something flowery and sweet.

I smiled at her sleeping form. I'll give you so much happiness, Hania Hamza, that you'll forget about the crap I put you through.

****

After we settled into the hotel, we immediately headed out to the square, just for a quick look around. It was located between the infamous Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia, which until recently used to be a museum and was now a mosque. The area was huge and full of tourists, with plenty of places to sit and admire the famous view of Istanbul, and a large fountain that Hania seemed to love.

"I can't believe that I'm here with you." She said, as we walked hand in hand around the circular fountain, her gaze on the water.

"I'll take you everywhere you want to go, I promise." I stopped walking and put my hands on her shoulders, looking deeply into her eyes.

"I love you so much, Hamza." She whispered. "And not just because you're promising to take me places."

I chuckled. "I love you too, sweetheart." I glanced around. "Come on, let's get coffee or something."

We went to a nearby café, and I ordered Turkish tea, while Hania ordered hot chocolate and a chocolate tiramisu.

"No wonder you're so hyper." I joked as she ordered it. "So much chocolate."

She narrowed her eyes at me in an adorable glare as we sat down at a table in the quieter part of the café.

"Get your own!" She told me off as I tried to steal some of her dessert.

"Your poor, beloved husband is hungry." I said, dramatically. "Can I get a bite?"

"You can go buy some."

"No, I want yours."

"Go away."

"Hania."

"Hamza."

I sat back, crossing my arms over my chest. "Fine, I'll starve then."

"Drama Queen." Rolling her eyes, she pushed her plate towards me. "Go ahead. Take some." 

I grinned. "I was just teasing you."

"Ugh! You frustrate me so much!" She pretended to be annoyed, but a smile broke through.

When we left the café, and I tried to kiss her, she backed away. "Not here, Hamza. I feel disrespectful kissing within the sight of two mosques. I know we're married, but I want to show some respect."

"I adore you, you know that." I whispered, unable to believe that this angelic girl in front of me was my wife. How could someone be this good? "May Allah always protect you from all harm, all evil and everything bad in general. Ameen."

She blushed. "Ameen." She smiled shyly, looking at the ground. "Mama says that one of the best way of expressing love for someone is by making dua for them."

"Your mother is very wise." 

"I think she stole that line from Papa." She laughed.

We talked and laughed, walking around for a bit before we decided that we were finally tired enough to go back to the hotel and sleep. The hotel was a two minutes walk from the main square and we were asleep minutes after returning back to the hotel. 

****

Hania

I hate it when you go on a holiday and the person you're meant to be exploring with is asleep and takes too long to wake up. I was practically bouncing off the walls, waiting for my husband to wake up. I wanted to go and see Istanbul.

I showered and changed into jeggings, a light blue long sleeved lace dress-top and a white sweater. Braiding my hair after drying it with a hair dryer, I then sprayed on some perfume. Using the hotel stationery, I wrote a note to Hamza to meet me in the square, and then I headed out to enjoy the sunny day.

I realised that it was almost time for Asr prayers, and I decided that I wanted to pray it in the Blue Mosque. Using some of the Turkish Liras that we had exchanged at the airport, I bought myself an abaya and a hijab from a stall in Arasta Bazaar, that was located close to our hotel, and then I went to pray in the world famous Turkish mosque.

*Abaya: a long gown that Muslim women wear over their clothes, for modesty purposes.

Hijab: Head covering/Scarf.

The Blue Mosque was beautiful, from the inside as well as the outside. Mosques make you feel humble in general, but there was something about being in this huge place of worship that made me feel that I was just a very small part of something huge and amazing. I honestly can't explain the feeling.

After the prayer, I made duas for my family, my parents, Hamza, Iman, and everyone. I thanked Allah for all the blessings in my life, but most importantly for my family (that now included Hamza). I can live in difficult circumstances, but I can't live without them. 

I went back out into the square once I was done with my prayer and walked around for a while before I saw Hamza coming towards me, looking worried. I jogged over to him, as he hadn't seen me yet. "Hamza!"

"Hania! You okay?" He grabbed my hand, looking at me from head to toe and then back, as if to make sure that I wasn't hurt.

"I'm fine. I went to pray in the Blue Mosque. Ma Sha Allah, Hamza, it's beautiful!" I glanced back towards the beautiful architecture that was overlooking the square.

"Okay, but please wake me up the next time. I get worried about you." The look in his eyes sent butterflies fluttering through my stomach. He was that worried about me.

"I will. I'm sorry." 

****

The gentle evening breeze lifted up my hair and I nodded my head to the Turkish music playing in the background as we sat in the outdoor seating area of the hotel's restaurant for dinner that evening. The hotel staff had provided us with shawls as it was slightly chilly.

Hamza had ordered traditional Turkish food, but I stuck to spinach ravioli. I wasn't too fond of meat items, apart from chicken, fish or the occasional beef burger.

"Hamza?" I looked at him as we ate.

"Hmm?"

"I want to try out one of those costume shops, where you get to dress up as a royalty from the Ottoman empire." I grinned. "I adore those dresses. They remind me of Pakistani bridal wear." 

"Aren't you sick of bridal wear yet?" He teased me.

"Nope. Never."

He chuckled. "Sure, you can be an Ottoman princess."

"Oh, not just me." I said. "You too, Sultan Hamza."

"No frickin' way."

"Hamza, please." I pouted slightly. "I want us to dress us as Turkish historic royalty!"

A mischievous grin appeared on his face. "Only if you dance with me." He nodded his head, indicating to the new faster Turkish music that had started playing. We were alone in the outdoor restaurant, and he stood up and held out his hand.

"I don't know how to dance."

"Live a little, Mrs Hamza." He grabbed my hand himself and pulled me up. "If you're feeling shy..." He draped the shawl around my head like a dupatta and I couldn't help laughing.

He started dancing and pulling me along with him.

"Just don't belly dance, please." I begged him.

His eyes widened with excitement. "Great idea!"

He started belly dancing and I doubled over laughing. This was the most hilarious thing I'd ever seen in my entire life. I noticed the hotel/restaurant staff grinning and even cheering for him.

"Hamza, you're crazy!" I shook my head. 

He bowed and the staff actually started to clap. I joined in because I couldn't have thought of a better entertainment than this. Hamza bowed towards the restaurant staff as well. Then he looked up at me, smiling adoringly. "I love you so much, Hania. And that gorgeous smile is so worth me looking like a fool for."

"I love you too, Hamza." I whispered, unable to look away from his gaze.

****

WARNING: MATURE SCENES AHEAD

We took a short walk after dinner, and tourists were still wandering around the area, and it looked like a generally lively and safe place. Stray dogs roamed the street, and although I would have normally been terrified, they seemed harmless and were basically ignoring humans. However, when a car or other vehicle passed by, they started barking and chasing it.

"Shall we go back to the hotel?" Hamza looked at me, and I noticed the expression on his face which increased my heart rate. It was the way he looked at me on our wedding night.

I nodded shyly.

I was nervous, and I was worried that he could feel how sweaty my hands were as we headed to the hotel and then up to our room. We have already consummated our marriage, so why am I so nervous? I squeezed his hand and as he glanced at me, I smiled. He kissed my forehead before returning the smile.

We didn't say a word as we got back to our room. I went into the bathroom to change into a lace white night dress that barely reached my knees. I felt shy wearing it, but with each time we got intimate, it was surely going to get easier for me. I left my hair loose around my bare shoulders and took a deep breath as I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. It's okay. It's Hamza. You can trust him completely.

I left the bathroom and saw him standing by the bed, wearing just boxers, scrolling through his phone. I almost turned and ran back into the bathroom. Almost. He looked up and his eyes widened slightly as he looked at me, starting with my feet and slowly travelling up to my face. He threw his phone on the bed carelessly, and walked over to me, snaking an arm around my waist and pulling me closer.

"Hania." He pressed his lips against my forehead and remained like that for a short while. "Are you sure you want to do this tonight? You must be tired from the flight."

"I'm sure." I rested my forehead against his shoulder, shyly. "You?"

"I have been wanting to do this since I saw you excitedly walking around in the Square." He chuckled.

I blushed and closed my eyes.

He tilted my head up by the chin, using his thumb and index finger."You're perfect in every single way, Hania. I didn't think it was possibleto love someone as much as I love you, in such a short period of time. I didn'tthink I was capable of it." Again, he kissed my forehead, then my cheeksand then the tip of my nose. "You're pure, you're good, and your heart isas beautiful as you are on the outside." He kissed each corner of mymouth. "I'm crazy about you, Hania Hamza, and tonight I'mgoing to show you how much." He scooped me up into his arms, bridalstyle.

He set me down onto the bed and leaned down, pressing his lips against mine. I lay back against the pillows, pulling him down along with me. The hum of the air conditioning was the only sound in the room, apart from our rapid breathing as we broke apart for air. Before we continued kissing, Hamza turned off the bedside lamps, plunging the room into darkness. We resumed kissing passionately, my hands tangled up in his hair, and his on my waist.

He started trailing kisses down the side of my face, to my neck and then down to my shoulder, while his hands explored my body. As he kissed my lips once again, the intensity increasing greatly, his hands started tugging at the hem of my dress, and I moved to help him take it off. I was grateful for the darkness as I felt his hands over my bare skin, and I clutched the bedsheet because my desire for him was overwhelming.

I let my husband express his love for me in the most intimate ways possible, I had no regret or doubt inside me. I was completely in love with him, and he loved me back. We were married, and we were the only ones who had this right over each other, which made everything even more special.

The night was spent passionately, and full of love. Hamza was sweet, gentle and kept asking me if I was okay, even though it wasn't our first time, which made me smile. 

I was truly Hamza's Hania ever since our wedding night, when he had loved me in a way that only my husband was allowed to love me.

****

I woke up the next morning, feeling like my pillow was too hard, but then I realised that it was Hamza's chest and not my pillow. I sat up, biting back a shy smile. The smile remained on my face as I showered and performed the morning routine.

When I returned to the room, with just a towel wrapped around me, he was up, leaning lazily against the headboard.

"Good morning, Mrs Hamza." He smiled.

I dropped my gaze, feeling shy again. "Good morning." I walked to where my suitcase was, just in a storage area beside the front door, and began to look for clothes to wear. "I want to go sightseeing, so please get ready."

I felt his hands on my shoulders and I jumped, startled. I hadn't heard him get up and come to me.

"Or... we can just get back in bed." He kissed my bare shoulder and then continued along the bare bit of my back that was exposed above the towel.

"We'll miss breakfast, and I'm hungry."

He pulled me into an embrace, and I rested my chin on his shoulder, leaning up on my tiptoes. "Fine. Let me shower." 

I kissed his cheek and he pulled back and headed into the bathroom after grabbing a towel and some clean clothes. I changed into a long dark blue skirt, a white long sleeved layered shirt, and a white cardigan over it, just in case it got cold. Slipping into white wedges that were comfortable for long walks, I waited for Hamza to return.

He came out in jeans, and a t-shirt, over which he threw on his leather jacket. "Shall we?" There was a hint of amusement on his face as he held out his hand towards me. "Looking beautiful as always, Mrs Hania Hamza. Ma Sha Allah. Making the rest of us look bad."

"You can never look bad, Hamza." God, I sounded like a fangirl.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we headed down for breakfast, kissing the side of my head.

****

We spend the first couple of hours on the sightseeing bus that took us on a tour of Istanbul. At one point in the tour, we crossed the bridge that connected the European side of Istanbul to the Asian side.

"I can't believe that Istanbul is in two different continents!" I stared out at the Bosphorus, wide eyed. "I can't believe we're in Asia at the moment!"

Iman always said that I got overexcited about boring stuff, but Hamza found it amusing.

"You're unbelievably cute, Han." Leaning down, he kissed me discreetly. Although Turkey was westernised, it was still a Muslim country, and we still took care while kissing in public. We were at the front of the bus on the upper deck, and his arm was resting on the seat behind me, which gave us some privacy as he leaned low to kiss me.

Needless to say, we took a lot of photos all day. Hamza took a lot of photos of me along the way, and with each photo that he took, he made me feel like a gorgeous model. 

We had lunch at a Turkish restaurant, finishing off with Turkish tea and baklavas. After lunch, we headed towards the Bosphorus again, walking alongside it, enjoying the hustle and bustle of Istanbul. There were a lot of fishermen lined up along the edge of the river, just sitting there patiently waiting for their catch. The river itself was dotted with boats, including cruise boats. We would be coming here later tonight for the dinner cruise, and I simply couldn't wait.

"I could never visit a foreign country alone." I muttered thoughtfully. "I would be too scared."

"It's not too bad." He looked down at me as we walked. "When things get hectic at the office, I love to go away on my own. It helps me clear my mind and relax. But now that you're here, we'll got together."

"How do you not get scared?" 

"The whole fun part is being in a new place and figuring things out as you go along." He shrugged.

"I salute your confidence and bravery." 

He laughed. "We'll get through foreign lands together now, In Sha Allah."

I liked the idea of me and Hamza travelling together. I'd always wanted to go places, and although my parents had taken us on a lot of holidays, it would be a different experience with Hamza. 

****

I wore a long black maxi dress, and a black sequinned cardigan, along with strappy sandals with decent sized heels. I tied up my hair in a chignon bun, a style that I'd learnt from Iman. Wearing silver dangly earrings, I turned to grab my clutch from the bed.

Hamza returned back to the room. He'd gone down to the reception to check on our ride to the cruise. As a part of the cruise package, we were being picked up from our hotel by a chauffer provided by the cruise company, along with other people from the local area.

He stopped in the doorway, his jaw dropping open. "Are you seriously my date tonight?"

"I wanted to look special tonight." I smiled, feeling shy.

"Han, you always look special." He was dressed in black trousers, a white shirt and a black blazer, along with formal black shoes. Hamza was seriously a heartthrob, Ma Sha Allah. He pressed his forehead against mine, lacing our fingers together. "I would say let's stay at the hotel, but I know how much you want this."

"It's actually something I was looking forward to the most." I admitted.

He pressed his lips against mine, then pulled back, brows furrowed. "Why do I taste strawberries?"

"It's my lip-gloss." I giggled.

He smiled. "Let's go." Taking my hand in his, he led us out of the hotel room.

We picked up a few other people from a few different hotels, in the mini bus, before we were taken to the dock where we were going to be boarding the cruise ship. A short walk later, we arrived outside the cruise ship, which was basically a small-scale version of a proper cruise ship.

I was so excited that it was taking me everything that I had to stop squealing. Hamza noticed my expressions and chuckled, squeezing my hand. We were taken onto the middle level deck, and seated on one of the various tables set up inside. The starters were already set up, salad, hummus and potato salad, along with some items that I didn't recognise, and therefore didn't try. We ate and talked, as we set sail. Although it was a mixture of couples and families with kids, the atmosphere was relaxed and amazing. 

"I want to go upstairs." I said. "I heard someone just say that the view up there is great."

"It's almost time for dinner, Han."

"Okay, you wait here. I'll go and have a look." I stood up. "I was looking forward to cruising on the river at night."

When we had visited with our family, Mama had let it slip that it was pretty romantic on the upper deck of the cruise they'd visited, but she'd realised that she shouldn't have said that and had changed the topic.

Hamza stood up as well. "Let's go."

When we got upstairs, I was speechless, awed by the sight in front of me. As bright it was downstairs, it was dark upstairs, probably so that people could truly take in the view of Istanbul at night.  

"No wonder Mama and Papa wanted to come here without me and Mani." I muttered a few moments later, making Hamza chuckle.

*These are a couple of photos that I took myself, and this cruise is seriously, seriously worth going on, especially with a special someone ;). (Before you ask, I was with my entire family, so not the same...)

"Ma Sha Allah!" I gasped.

We walked right over to the edge, which was quite empty. There were light blue lights at the aft, that lit up the water beautifully. A Turkish flag was flapping around in the wind just above it, and literally everything about this was perfect.

Hamza wrapped his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder. "It feels like it's just us on this cruise right now." He kissed my neck.

I turned to face him. "Thank you for bringing me to Istanbul, for bringing me on this cruise, for being you." I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love you so much, Hamza Daniyal."

"I love you too, Han." 

When we kissed, I didn't want to be anywhere else in the world right then.

But the smell of dinner made both of our stomachs growl, making us both double over in laughter. We headed back down to enjoy a delicious dinner that included rice, roast chicken and kebabs. Throughout dinner, there were various Turkish dances performed, and after dinner, there was meant to be a belly dance, which I chose to skip.

"I feel uncomfortable." I admitted. "I'm going to go back upstairs and enjoy the peace."

"I'm going to stay." He grinned at me. I rolled my eyes and left him behind. Men.

There were kids and a few ladies upstairs, but it was still peaceful. I leaned against the railing, admiring the lights of the city reflected on the river. I closed my eyes, and it felt like I was far away from the world, in the clouds somewhere, the gentle sounds of the water lapping against the boat soothing my soul and the general darkness of the night providing a strangely unexpected comfort. 

I felt hands on my waist. "Got bored of the belly dancer?"

"Why would I want to see her when I have such a beautiful date?" He kissed my cheek. "The one who looks gorgeous in literally everything she wears."

I turned to face Hamza, my back pressing against the railing. I put my hands on his cheeks, breathing in his s*xy scent. I softly kissed his lips, wrapping my arms around his neck.

We spent most of the rest of the cruise on the top deck in each other's arms, enjoying the absolutely gorgeous lights. The world is a beautiful place, but it's even more beautiful when you're with the person you love. 

****

We ended the night as passionately as the night before, and I felt our love for each other grow stronger with each moment we spent together.

I woke up right before Fajr, having only slept an hour or so. Hamza was asleep, looking childishly innocent as usual. Well, there was certainly nothing childishly innocent about him a while ago. I giggled softly, before heading to the bathroom for a shower.

As I stood in front of the mirror after the shower, I saw the glow on my face, a glow reflecting the genuine happiness inside me. Alhumdulillah.

I was happy, I was in love and for a while I felt like nothing could go wrong with my life. I slipped on the dressing robe and headed back into the room. I froze in my steps as I heard the sound of him panting. "Hamza?" Through the dim light coming from the open bathroom door, I saw him sitting up in bed, breathing hard. "Hamza, what's wrong?" 

Before I realised what was happening, he got out of bed and began to put on his discarded clothes.

"Hamza, what are you doing? Where are you going?" I was confused and worried.

"I need air." Was all he said, before he turned around and left.

I quickly put on a clean outfit, grabbed the key card and rushed out after him. 

By the time I got downstairs, and rushed out through the entrance of the hotel, I saw him heading up towards the Square. Feeling anxious, I chased after him with rushed steps. What's wrong with him?

I finally caught up to him in the square, as crowds of worshippers made their ways to the two mosques around us. "Hamza..." My words dried up in my mouth, as I saw him in a state that was very familiar to me. "You have panic attacks?" 

He glanced up towards the sky and I could have sworn that I saw a glimpse of tears in his eyes. He chuckled bitterly. "Not very macho, is it?" 

I put my hands on his cheeks, almost forcing him to look down into my eyes. "Deep breaths. You're okay." I softly began to repeat the words that my own parents had often ended up saying to me as they had tried to calm me down after a particularly bad panic attack.

"I didn't want you to see me like this. That's why I rode out on our wedding night." He glanced towards the Blue Mosque. "She's damaged me a mentally, Han." 

I knew that he was talking about his mother, it was obvious. "First of all, there's nothing weak or unmanly about having a panic attack, Mr Hamza Daniyal. We're all humans, and we all have the same minds, and those minds do face trauma after disturbing events in our lives, male or female. You went through distressing things, and this is just your mind trying to cope with the overload of negative memories." 

"I'm sorry." He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.

"Don't apologise. I know how helpless you must be feeling right now, but Hamza, you're not alone. You're married." I took his hands in mine, staring up at him. "Next time, just talk to me, please. I am here to share your problems, your worries, your anxieties. Please trust me that I will support you, and never mock you. You're not weak, Hamza Daniyal, you are one of the strongest people that I know who has just been through a lot." 

"I will never let this state of mine lead to negligence towards you, Han." He looked down at me. "I can take care of you even though I..."

"You need to first get rid of the idea that this makes you weak." I said as a gentle breeze tossed my damp hair into my face, reminding me that I probably shouldn't be out here straight after a shower with almost wet hair. "We'll fight our anxieties and stresses together, Hamza. We will take care of each other while the other person is having a panic attack. I will stand by you every step of the way, I promise." 

"You deserve someone absolutely perfect, babe." He wrapped an arm around me and kissed the side of my head.

"I have that. You were written in my destiny by Allah, which automatically makes you perfect for me." I reached up to kiss his cheek. "Now, come on, let's pray Fajr. Prayer is the best answer to a distressed soul and mind." 

"A girl's parents are often taunted by the husband and the in-laws, but I am saying this honestly, Hania. I should salute Uncle and Aunty for raising a daughter like you. They should be proud of their upbringing." 

I'd often been told that I had Papa's wisdom, and it made me proud. But today it made me even happier, because my words had made my husband feel better. 

"I know that I'm proud to have you as a wife." He added. 

I suddenly realised how marriage moulds a girl into a whole new person. I may be Hania Fawad Ali by blood and my values, but I was Hania Hamza by paper, heart and soul, just within less than three months of Nikah. 

"And I'm proud that you're my husband, Hamza." I kissed his chest. "And I pray that one day you're able to come out of that darkness that she had left behind inside you." 

"With you in my life, Han, I have no doubt." 

****

Sit back for drama now. Enough romance. Lol.

Hania is just going to make him fall harder and harder for her, it seems.

Thoughts and comments?

Thank you for reading and don't forget to vote!