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Hania

Why am I thinking about him so much?

He spoke to Mumani so politely, so respectfully. He helped us out by bringing us home. Yes, he is very good looking- is it alright to say Ma Sha Allah when complimenting a non-mehram in your head?

Ya Allah, please keep me on the straight path. Ameen. I don't want thoughts like these to stray me and to make me do something that would disappoint my parents.

****

I was scribbling away my thoughts in my diary, constantly thinking about that handsome biker who had taken over my thoughts.

"Hania!" Mama's voice made me jump.

"Yes, Mama?" I got up and raced out of my room, and down the stairs. 

Mama was making lunch. "Jaan, please help me out a little. I'm a little delayed with lunch preparations."

"Sorry, Mama. You should have called me earlier." I immediately headed into the downstairs bathroom to wash my hand, before rushing back to the kitchen.

"Yeh kya haal banaya hua hai apna, Hania? Dupehar ho rahi hai aur night suit main ghoom rahi ho aap." She shook her head in motherly disapproval.

*"Look at your condition, Hania! It's the afternoon and you're still in your night suit!" 

I glanced down at my  pink flannel night-suit trousers and a white Minnie Mouse nightshirt. My hair was in a messy bun, pushed back by a pink headband. 

Mama smiled sadly. "You remind me of myself when I was a teenager. Ammi used to give me grief about it, but I had been equally stubborn and refused to listen. See? What goes around does come around." 

"I'm sure you must never have spoken to your mother the way Iman speaks to you." I pointed out. "The woman who gives so much respects to her mother-in-law could never have been that insolent to her own mother, I'm sure. You don't deserve to be spoken to the way Iman spoke to you." 

"I don't know what I deserve or not, Hania." She turned the stove off. "All I know is that meri apni ghaltiyan hi samne aarahi hongi mere."

*"I'm facing the results of my own mistakes."

"Okay, do me a favour, meri jaan." She said. "I'm going to your Phupho's house, but I have prepared lunch for everyone. If necessary heat itup, okay? Make sure Dado eats. Your Papa is sleeping as he had been up long into the night with tension." 

I tried to lighten the mood. "That's more than one favour, Mama." I stood beside her,wrapping an arm around her and resting my head on her shoulder. While both me and Iman were Team Papa overall, I was closer to Mama. I couldn't managewithout her, which was why she'd been worried sending me all the way toEdinburgh. Papa had actually joked that Mama should move to Scotland with me.

"What about you and Iman, then? You two can't manage without me either." Mama had teased him.

"You're the heart and soul of my family. Of course we can't." He'd replied, making her blush as usual, and making me laugh and silently say 'Ma Sha Allah' in my head.

"Hania, I'm not getting any younger. You need to help me out a little sometimes." Mama sighed. "I can't handle everything alone, you know."

"You've been doing it pretty well though." I said, lightly. I was just joking. I knew what my responsibilities were towards my parents, and I hoped to fulfil every single one of them.

"That doesn't mean that I should." She turned to face me. "After lunch, sit with Dado for a while, okay? Talk to her."

I nodded. "I'm going to tell her stories about my life in Edinburgh. She loves hearing those." 

"Good girl. You don't know how happy it makes your Papa to see you look after Dado so much." She kissed my cheek. 

"Mama?" I asked a few moments later as she was wiping down the counters. I had no idea why she did all that when she had all the help here in Lahore, but she kept saying that she loved to keep herself busy.

"Yes, Hani?" 

"H-How do you know when you have a crush?" I whispered.

She froze, before turning to look at me, frowning. "A crush?" 

I was blushing so much and I couldn't even look up at her.

"Hamza?" She guessed.

I had no idea how she had guessed so quickly, since I barely knew him. Maybe I was attracted to his good lucks? That's all that could be because, as I said, I didn't know him.

"Maybe." I shrugged. "I can't stop thinking about him." 

"Hania, sweetheart. We've all been there, okay? Crushes are uncontrollable. We can't help ourselves. The main thing is how we act when we have a crush." She gave me a small smile. "I trust you completely, and so does your Papa. I know you would never do anything to go against us or to disappoint us, so I'm telling you now, don't act upon your crush yourself. If you want things to go further, you talk to me and I will talk to your Papa, okay?" 

"That's what I would have done anyway, Mama. I would never take a step on my own regarding this matter. I want to start a relationship with the blessings of Allah and my parents, and not their anger and disappointment." 

"Thank you. We love you, Hani, and we just want what's best for you." 

"I know, Mama." I gave her a hug. "I love you both more than life itself." 

I would never do anything that would hurt my parents. That was a promise that I made to myself every single day.

****

Iman

I had already disappointed my parents so much, and now I was participating in another act that would probably make Papa disown me.

At Edinburgh Airport, after Appi had boarded the plane, I had lagged behind, excusing myself to go to the bathroom quickly. The truth was that I just wanted to talk to that Rayaan guy. 

I exchanged numbers with him that day. It was harmless to chat to him through messages, right?

I had been in constant touch with him since.

I'd found out that he was a policeman in Edinburgh, and he was twenty-eight, nine years older than me. My parents were going to freak out completely.

<Iman: Hey, Rayaan. What's up?>

Mama was gone already, and Papa had gone to the mosque after lunch. Hania Appi was spending time with Dado in her room.

A part of me knew that I was wrong. I didn't care for dating, or even marriage at the moment. I wanted to focus on my education and on starting my career. At every parents' teacher meeting my parents have attended, they've been told that I acted up to get their attention. I know that my parents tried their best, and they were incredible parents, and I was being a complete b***h by always worrying the heck of out of them, but my blood boiled whenever they chose to focus on Appi rather than me. We were sisters, weren't we meant to be equals?

I wanted to do something behind their backs that I knew would p**s them off. I don't know why I wanted to do that, but knowing that they would finally give a s**t about what I was up to gave me some satisfaction. Yesterday, I had crossed a limit with Mama, and I was sorry about that. But I wanted to do something that would make them realise that I was important too.

<Rayaan: Hey, Iman. I didn't think that I will hear from you again!>

<Iman: Sorry, I'm in Lahore, and I didn't get a chance to message you. I just wanted to see if you wanted to talk?>

<Rayaan: What can we talk about?>

<Iman: I don't know. Things in general...>

We messaged each other back and forth for a long time. I told him that I was nineteen and a first year university student, studying Biomedical Sciences. He told me that he was originally from Karachi, and his family had moved to Edinburgh ten years ago.

<Rayaan: So, why are you in Lahore? Any particular reason, or just for the summer holidays?>

<Iman: My Dada Jaan passed away. :(>

The same Dada Jaan who would be ashamed of me right now, for going against everything that Mama and Papa had taught me.

<Rayaan: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. May Allah grant him a place in Jannah.>

*Jannah: Paradise.

<Iman: Ameen.>

<Rayaan: Whereabouts in Lahore are you? I'm quite familiar with the city.>

<Iman: I'm not sure exactly. All I know is that we're in the Defence area.>

<Rayaan: The wealthy people are? Lol.>

<Iman: Yeah, our family is pretty well off. Our grandparents were all top doctors and surgeons.>

I had a sappy smile on my face as I messaged him.

There was a knock on the door. "Iman?"

I sat up quickly. "What is it, Appi?"

"Ibrahim and Noor are here. They want to see you." Appi's voice came through the door.

Papa had forbidden me from meeting them because of my behaviour with Mama, but I couldn't refuse guests, could I?

I got up and opened the door and looked at my sister. God, Appi was so simple. Her hairstyle was boring and plain, she hardly wore make-up apart from eyeliner, and she always dressed in plain, casual clothes. I'd often encouraged her to dress up more, she was gorgeous after all, but she never listened to me. "Oh! I forgot! We were meant to head out."

"Didn't Papa tell you not to?" Appi looked worried.

I rolled my eyes."Ugh, he's not here. I'm sure he'll go and see Arhaan Mamu, or he'll also go to Phupho's house from the mosque. He won't know unless you tell him. Will you tell him, Appi?" I gave her a challenging look. "In fact, why don't you join us?" 

"No!" Ibrahim and Noor called out in unison from downstairs, clearly having heard us.

I burst out laughing. "See, Appi? You're so good that nobody wants to take you anywhere fun. They know you'll always tell Mama and Papa." I grabbed my phone and purse from my room. "I'll be back soon. Don't have a heart attack if I don't come back on time." I jogged down the stairs, leaving her standing there, uncomfortably.

My phone pinged, and I glanced down on the screen, pausing in the stairs.

<Rayaan: It's funny that you're in Lahore, while I'm in Karachi.>

<Iman: Really?! That is a huge coincidence!>

<Rayaan: I can come over to Lahore, and we can meet?>

My heart skipped a beat, but I also felt kind of anxious. I hadn't intended on meeting him. In fact, how will I meet him? I couldn't just ask Papa to drive me to see a guy who was nine years older than I was. I definitely couldn't invite him over.

<Iman: I don't think we can. I'm with family.>

<Rayaan: Maybe I can drive up to your home and meet you outside?>

Okay, whoa, slow down, dude. What the f**k? Why was he so eager?

<Iman: Maybe we can just stick to messaging each other for now? We can meet when I'm back in Edinburgh.>

And then I remembered that I wasn't going back to Edinburgh. I was transferring to a university in London.

<Rayaan: Sure. I suppose that'll work.>

Maybe this was a mistake. 

****

Hania

"Kyun pareshan hai meri gudiya?" Dado asked me as I sat beside her, leaning against her. Her arm was wrapped around my shoulders in an almost comforting manner.

*"Why is my doll worried?" 

"Dado, can kids still stray from the right path, even if their parents gave the best upbringing possible?"

"Unfortunately. Parents can't always protect their children from coming across bad influences, because they're everywhere: in schools, colleges and workplaces." She sighed. "The parents can only raise them right and hope that the upbringing can keep the kids on the right path." She laughed weakly. "Why? Are you planning on doing something that goes against your parents' upbringing?"

I shook my head. "I'll never intentionally do anything like that. I know that my behaviour, my manners are all examples of what kind of people my parents are, and I would never make them look bad."

"Meri gudiya." Dado kissed the side of my head. "I trust Fawad and Jasmina's upbringing completely. I know that you and Iman won't ever let them down."

*"My doll."

"I'm a little worried about Iman." I admitted. "She tends to act recklessly sometimes." I probably shouldn't have told her that; Dado was already a little against Iman, but my parents were already so worried, and I needed someone to talk to.

"Look, beta." Dado stared out of the window, thoughtfully. "Iman has a good heart, and even I can't deny it. I have faith that ultimately, she'll always do the right thing. She just needs a little love, care and attention. I remember when Fariha was a teenager, we were focusing on Fawad a little too much because he was about to start his higher education, and we were eager for him to succeed. Fariha started acting out a little because she felt that she wasn't paid a lot of attention."

"Are you saying that I'm the reason Iman feels bad?" I was worried.

"No, meri jaan. And I'm not saying that it's your parents' fault either." She said. "But for multiple reasons, your parents have become too overprotective of you, through no fault of their own. I guess they unintentionally act in a way that makes Iman feel like she's less loved." 

"That's not true, though! Mama and Papa love us equally and unconditionally!"

"I know, sweetheart." She grabbed my hand. "Look, Iman just needs to be reminded of her importance in her family, that's all." She kissed my hand. "But know that Iman's upbringing will always pull her back from crossing her limits. I have faith in her, and in my son and daughter-in-law."

"In Sha Allah." I said. 

****

I paced the foyer nervously. 

My parents might be back soon, but Iman wasn't here yet. 

Ya Allah! Help! Please let Iman come back before them.

I headed out of the front door and towards the gates. I stepped outside the house, covering my head with a dupatta, hoping to spot Ibrahim's car.

Instead, a familiar bike appeared around the corner and parked right in front of me. "Waiting for me?" I glanced wide eyed as Hamza pulled off his helmet. "Assalam Alaikum, Miss Hania."

"Walaikum Assalam." I dropped my gaze. "Papa's not home." 

"I'm not here to see him." He gave me a smile, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out the small butterfly charm from my bracelet. "You dropped this in my car." 

I frowned. I hadn't even realised that it had fallen off. "Thank you, but next time just contact Papa and he'll pick it up." 

"Next time?" He grinned. "You planning on getting chauffer service from me again?"

My cheeks warmed up. A gentle gust of wind lifted up my dupatta and sent a lock of my hair flying across my face. "Allah Hafiz." I turned to head back inside.

I heard him chuckle.

I bit my lip, shyly, before rushing back inside. If my parents or Iman had seen this, I would have had to answer a lot of questions that I wasn't prepared to answer.

****

He came to drop off a small charm from my bracelet!

I squealed in excitement, but not too loud. I had no idea why I was so excited and I couldn't stop myself. It was wrong but my heart was going crazy inside my chest. 

"Hania!" I heard Mama call me from downstairs.

"Coming, Mama!" I raced outside, and down the stairs.

"I'm making tea." Mama told me as I entered the kitchen. "Would you like some, babe?"

"I'll make the tea, Mama." I offered. "You go and relax inside with Papa."

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Why are you blushing?" 

"I'm not." I muttered, shaking my head. "I just ran down here, maybe that's why..."

"Who're you kidding, Hania Fawad?" She grinned. "I know you better than you know yourself."

"What, because you gave birth to me?" I giggled. "Mama, that statement isn't always true."

"You're thinking about Hamza, aren't you?" 

My eyes widened and I looked at her, my mouth hanging open slightly. Okay, so maybe that statement is always true. "Shh!" I suddenly realised that Papa was around.

"Are you telling your mother to shut up?" She pretended to be horrified. "Ya Allah! My karma has created a monster!"

"Maybe you should have treated Nano better then." I laughed harder.

"You cheeky little..." She lightly pinched my cheek.

I sighed. "Okay, theoretically speaking, I wanted to get to know Hamza better. Papa will never agree. I'm his little Hani."

"Theoretically speaking," She played along. "Dating is not allowed, but if Papa allows it, you can meet with him with a mehram present nearby. And the only mehram around for you that you would feel comfortable with, is your father. I'll try and help you convince him, but if he says no, I can't go against his word, you know that. I respect him way too much." 

I smiled at her. "I won't go against his word either. I respect him too."

"My baby." She gave me a hug. "Come on, let's get some of his favourite snacks to soften him up a little."

"Allah! Are you telling me to bribe my father?"

She winked at me and continued preparing tea.

****

Hamza Daniyal

It was close to midnight, and I was in the kitchen, searching for a midnight snack, while talking to Papa on the phone. He had flown back to England earlier, due to business, and I had stayed behind because I wanted to tour around the tourist sights of Lahore and capture photos.

"Hamza, you're twenty-eight." He was saying. "It's about time you settle down. Look, I have to be blunt. I really liked Dr Fawad's elder daughter, Hania. She's a sweet girl, and very well mannered, and you seem to like her as well."

"That mousy girl?" I laughed. "Papa, she's sweet, but I was just being friendly. She's not my type."

"But the way you were talking to her..."

"I talk to everyone like that, you know that." My gaze ran over the items in the fridge. "Hania's too shy, Papa. She's not wife material."

"Hamza, beta, I have seen the world, my boy. You're still young so you don't understand, but she is exactly the type of a life partner that you should choose. Confidence can come with time, but look at her personality. She has a heart of gold, she's respectful, polite and well-mannered. And I know Fawad, he is an incredible man, so I am sure that his upbringing would be remarkable, as well as Bhabi's." 

"You're trying to marry me off to a good girl so that she can 'improve me', right?" I shook my head. "But I don't want to marry a mouse, Papa. I'm sorry." 

"So, what exactly is your type?" He sounded irritated.

"Confident, gorgeous, modern." I shrugged. S*xy.

"We should choose partners based on their values and personality, not materialistic things." He paused. "I won't force you into marriage, because marriages aren't forced. But as your father, I can only advise you. Trust my experience and knowledge of this world. Hania would be a good life partner for you, Hamza. And yes, if she 'improves you' by bringing you closer to your religious values, there's no harm in that. A spouse that brings you closer to your religion is a blessing, my boy." 

I was not a heartless man. Hania was beautiful and cute, but if I married her I wouldn't be able to keep her happy. She and I were from different worlds. I like socialising and partying, and she seemed like the introvert, awkward type.

On the other hand, there was only one person in the world I trusted this much, and that was Papa. And if he thought that Hania would be a good wife for me, I needed to take that into serious consideration.

I glanced up at the ceiling. Ya Allah! Please help me in making this decision.

****

Iman

<Rayaan: I'm in Lahore.>

My eyes widened. I looked up and saw Mama and Fariha Phupho chatting about something or the other, while Papa, Zafar Uncle and Omar Bhai were talking about cricket, and Dado sat in an armchair with Hania Appi sat on the ground beside her, talking to her. Saad Bhai and Zaid were both scrolling through their phones, while Saad Bhai's wife, Madiha Bhabi, was trying to feed her one-year-old son, Shezan. 

Fariha Phupho's family had turned up unexpectedly as our family was having tea, and everyone had been really happy to see them.

<Iman: Did you take the first flight out or something?>

There was no reply, but now I was creeped out. I'd made a mistake. I shouldn't have contacted him. I shouldn't have told him that we lived in the Defence area. What if he found me here? I felt sick to my stomach. Why do I act impulsively, without thinking logically?

"Mama?" I called out. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course." Despite what had happened between us, Mama noticed my expression and got up immediately. The two of us walked into the kitchen.

Once we were inside, I turned to face her and burst into tears. "Mama."

"Iman, what happened?" She looked alarmed.

"Mama, I made a mistake." I began to sob quietly, my shoulders shaking.

"Ya Allah! Iman, what did you do?" Mama looked anxious.

I explained the entire situation to her about Rayaan. My whole body felt cold and I was trembling terribly. I was terrified out of my mind.

"A twenty-eight-years-old man?" She looked horrified. "What is wrong with you?!"

"Mama, don't tell Papa." I begged her.

"I have to tell him, Iman. What if that creep turns up here?" Mama looked like she was about to have a panic attack herself. "Where did we go wrong with you?" The next moment she started crying. "Were we really that terrible at parenting that you leave no chance to hurt us?"

"No, Mama. This is all my fault, not your and Papa's." I wrapped my arms around her. "I messed up, as I always do. Please help me, Mama. I'm scared."

She pulled away, but held me by the upper arms. "Iman, of course I'll help you, meri jaan. Just promise me one thing, for the sake of my sanity: you'll stop this behaviour. You'll stop trying to hurt us. If we unintentionally do something to hurt you, you tell us. But if you keep doing this, I'm not sure how much more I can take." 

The thought of anything happening to my mother, especially because of me, made me freak out. "Mama, may Allah give you a long and healthy life. Ameen. I promise. I'll follow your rules now. I'm done being a rebel."

"I have to tell Papa. This whole situation is out of my control." She said. "You will get in a lot of trouble, Iman, I can't stop that. But you need to accept your mistakes and vow to never do them again."

"Papa can yell at me for hours, I don't mind." I whispered. "I just want to be safe from predators like Rayaan."

Ya Allah, don't punish my parents for my mistakes. Please help me out of this situation.

****

Innocent Hania has developed a crush on Hamza, but would she suffer heartbreak after hearing his real opinions of her?

Iman has potentially gotten herself in huge trouble, and would her parents be able to protect her or would things just get worse for her?

Thoughts and comments?

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