VIDEO above - IT'S RAINING MEN Pride 2015

It was the smell of bacon that awoke me.

I was alone in the den. The afghan was folded neatly on the back of my mom's chair and the book she'd been reading was on the table under the lamp, which was no longer burning. Sunlight was subtly lighting the room through the sheer curtains and Colt was no longer at my side. The hands of the clock on the shelf above the big-screen TV pointed to ten o'clock.

I turned to look and saw that the door to the hall was closed. Even so, I could hear the TV in the kitchen, a man talking with the rapid tones of a reporter. Obviously my mom was in there cooking breakfast and watching a morning show, with Colt sitting nearby eyeing her every move and hoping to get some of the bacon.

I smiled. Yah, totally like it was just another everyday morning in the Landon household.

I tossed the throw I'd been snuggling with onto the back of the couch and grabbed the remote from the coffee table in front of me. The Pride parade in Columbus was supposed to start at ten. I turned the TV on and scrolled over to CNN to see if the parade had started.

There was a split-second picture of Daniel Random sitting in a media booth on the bleachers in front of the capitol building, then the screen changed abruptly to a scene showing a windy night on a remote country road. A group of dark figures could be seen clinging to the shadows as one of them broke away and made its way up to the front door of a lone farmhouse set in a dark copse of trees.

Eerie music was playing as the scene shifted indoors where a geeky-looking college dude was sitting in front of a computer gaping wide-eyed and open-mouthed at a horrific live feed on the monitor. It showed a shadowy room, dimly lit in red, where hooded figures were violently assaulting helpless bound victims as they screamed and shouted in terror.

I sat back in surprise, not having expected to see such a sight. The next moment the words DO YOU DARE ENTER THE FORBIDDEN RED ROOMS? flashed onto the TV screen, accompanied by a sinister male voice speaking them out loud.

Then, immediately, the words were replaced by new ones, THE DEEP WEB: THE DANGERS AND THE DAMNED, in bigger bolder letters, once again spoken with intensity by the announcer.

I felt my heart begin to pound and my hands balled up into fists. The words faded away from the TV screen and one of the hooded figures suddenly appeared in front of the writhing action in the room on the monitor feed, and he looked directly into the camera, startling the dude sitting there. Glowing eyes could be seen within the slits of the hood as they stared right at the boy.

"Dare you answer your door?" the sinister figure said directly to him. "So the night visitors can bring you here to the red room?"

The scene shifted to the front door outside. The figure there, hooded like those in the feed, was reaching out a gloved hand to the doorbell. A long forefinger pressed the button.

The college boy at the computer inside cringed at the chime of the bell, and he turned in his chair to look at the door, eyes wide with fear.

"Tonight at ten, CNN presents an in-depth report on the dangers of the Deep Web," the announcer spoke as the scene in the house froze in that tableau. "Daniel Random shares his shocking investigation of the hidden web that lies beneath the Internet we all know and use. Is it truth or just urban myth? The terrifying red rooms where missing people are tortured and killed, sometimes cannibalized, their organs harvested. Illegal websites where arms and weapons can be purchased, drugs too and even paid assassins. And the most frightening of all, the night visitors who find their way to users' homes via information grabbed by the secret browsers the users download to navigate the Deep Web ...

"Do these ghouls of the night really abduct users, their family members and friends, and take them to the real locations of the red rooms on the evil Deep Web sites of terror?"

I pressed the button to shut the TV off and almost threw the remote at the screen.

"Assholes! Goddamn bastards," I growled, pushing myself up to my feet. "I can't believe Daniel would actually make a documentary about that shit."

Angry, creeped out by the suddenness of that unexpected commercial, I pulled open the door and walked into the hall. I used the downstairs bathroom and freshened up a little, then walked back to the kitchen, jittery now and wary of seeing my mom. I had no idea how I was going to tell her what happened last night.

No need to worry, however.  As usual, she had the situation totally under control.

"Good morning," she said to me from her position at the stove. She was cracking eggs into the frying pan she had just emptied of bacon strips. Colt was sitting attentively nearby watching her and his tail started thumping when he saw me, although he stayed put, the food being of utmost importance.

"Look." She pointed over to the small TV on the counter. "Daniel Random's on and the parade is about to begin."

The spooky commercial for his documentary over with, the camera was now back on Daniel in the media booth. The crowds were cheering, marching band music was playing, and there was a general air of excitement in the crowd lining High Street.

"A few minutes ago he showed some film from last night, people celebrating at that night club," she went on. "There was quite a lot of you and Johnny and your friends. My goodness. Ernie too, huh?"

"Yah, Ernie too." I smiled at her as I plopped down in a chair at the table where she had a couple of plates set out. "I guess he'll be the talk of the town today if he was that easy to recognize."

She chuckled. "Yes, he was. We don't have any other boys around here who look quite like Ernie. And people will be talking about all three of you today, especially Johnny, the way he was dancing up on that stage, shirtless. Lord, but he's sexy. You must be so proud that he won the Mr. Ohio Pride contest. Didn't you enter it yourself?"

They obviously hadn't shown the part when Johnny exposed his butt, so at least I was spared hearing about that.

"I entered the contest but wasn't picked as a finalist. And yes, I'm crazy proud of Johnny. He definitely was the hottest dude in the whole place."

I figured here's where she asks why I came home, but she didn't. She carried the dish of bacon over and a platter of toast and placed them on the table, then gave me a quick kiss on the forehead.

She went back to the eggs cooking on the stove. "I'm sure he was. Johnny is quite the beautiful boy. And I won't even ask how you managed to get into a night club. As far as I know, you have to be twenty-one to get in those places these days."

I gave her a little smile. "You'd be surprised what you can do when you actually are a celebrity," I quipped, noticing that she'd put her pill bottle back into the cupboard.

Without looking at me, she said, "I guess so, huh? But I would really like to know who that blond boy is you were hanging all over. Except for being a little thinner and his hair longer, he looked just like you."

I could feel my heartbeat quickening again and I knew it'd be easiest to just blurt it right out. So I did. "He's my brother, mom. His name is Cabel and he's twenty years old. Dad is his father."

I can't describe the look she gave me, it was so intense and filled with every kind of emotion possible. But it let me know that she'd known about Cabel all along and had to keep it a secret, something she desperately regretted.

I looked away from her over to the TV. Daniel Random was talking as the camera panned down High Street at the thousands of people as far as the eye could see. He was saying, " ... hundreds of thousands of people are expected to attend the parade today. The crowd here is incredible and extends all the way out to the trendy Short North arts and entertainment neighborhood. Columbus is one of the most gay-friendly cities in the United States and its Stonewall Pride Parade is one of the biggest Pride parades in the world with over two hundred marching contingents this year. That's a far cry from the first parade in 1981 when there were less than 200 participants and many of them wore disguises and even bags over their heads to hide their identities."

My mom placed a platter of eggs down in front of me. "Let's eat and watch the parade a while, okay? I can't wait to see Johnny. Mr. Random said he'd be on the Xanadude float and that it's early in the parade. Would you like some coffee?"

I nodded. "Sure. I could use some to wake me up. I didn't get to sleep till late."

It was so fucking awkward. She'd known all along I had a brother and never told me. But I wasn't angry at her. No way. I knew she'd been forbidden to tell me, and I couldn't imagine how horrible she must have felt about it.

I watched her walk over to the coffee maker and pour me a cup, add some cream, and then place it in front of me as she sat down. Colt scooted over to us and plopped down on his stomach, whining as he looked from her to me and back again, hungry.

My mom managed a smile. "We'll talk about Cabel later, okay? After we see Johnny."

I grabbed her hand and squeezed it, tried my best to smile back. This was not the kind of emotional scene a dude like me likes to have with his mother. I'd rather have skipped the whole thing and just gone on with our lives. But, of course, we had to talk about it.

Daniel was sitting with a woman from the parade committee who had transitioned some years ago from male to female, and they were introducing and commenting on the advancing floats and marching contingents. A local gay marching band led off the parade. It was followed by open cars carrying local government officials and celebrities, and the parade's grand marshal, openly gay actor George Takei who had starred as Sulu in the original Star Trek TV show and some of the early movies.

The Ohio State University contingent of students, athletes, and teachers followed, led by Brutus Buckeye, the student mascot, a cartoon-like character wearing the university colors with a huge buckeye nut-shaped head. I was glad not to be wearing that headgear in today's near-ninety degree heat.

Next was a local woman's football team, then a marching group of cops, gay and straight, from the Columbus Police Department, a couple of them riding in their patrol cars with their German shepherd canine partners. I quickly noticed that Conner the motorcycle cop was not the only hot daddy on the force.

Then there were firefighters marching with one of their big fire engines, EMT workers with an ambulance, gay veterans of all the recent wars including octogenarians from World War Two, carrying United States flags, veteran group flags and even rainbow flags. The crowd gave them a rousing welcome.

Fitness club groups followed. Hot hunky bodybuilders flexing their muscles as they marched on by. Lady bodybuilders too, some as muscular as the men. And hockey, baseball, basketball and other sports clubs, all happy and proud to be carrying the rainbow flags and other Pride banners.

The crowds were cheering them all on. People were lining the sidewalks and sitting on the curbs and folding chairs they'd brought from home. Music was blaring everywhere and, best of all, it was a perfectly sunny day, not a cloud in sight.

A trans group marched by, about thirty of them, each dressed in the fashion of the gender they were transitioning to. Groups of bears and daddies followed, high school marching bands and even religious groups. One, a Methodist Church choir, was led by a huge banner stating that 'Jesus Loves Queers'.

Another, surprisingly Presbyterian, had its lead contingent members carrying a banner that read, 'Jesus Had Two Dads'.

My mom got a laugh out of that. "Oh dear. The Christian Ladies Guild members should see those banners, huh?"

I agreed, wondering what she'd think if I told her about their devil-worshiping up in the hills at Roundwood Manor.

Then came the Colt Studio float, a plain flatbed truck with some bails of hay on it and a dozen dancing and prancing nearly-naked Colt musclemen. Daniel was informing the viewers that they were famous throughout the world for their hot gay X-rated movies and Internet video.

"Wow, look at them," my mom said.

I chuckled. "That's how me and Johnny will look when we're older."

"And you'll probably be porn stars too, just like them, at the rate you're going," she huffed.

Oops. I didn't have the balls to ask if she'd watched our sex video. I totally did not want to hear what she'd have to say about it.

Next came the Xanadude float, and the thought of Johnny being so close to all those Colt studs and terminally hot daddies made me so jealous. I absolutely knew that every one of those dudes had their eyes on him and would be hitting on him like crazy when the parade was over.

"Ooh! There he is," my mom cried, pointing.

The float was quite a production, done up to look like a setting for an Arabian harem. A dozen of the Xanadude go-go boys, all wearing skimpy Speedo swim suits, were dancing around its perimeter to the wild song we'd heard last night, It's Raining Men. Johnny was in the center of them on a slightly raised platform dancing away like he was a go-go boy himself. He, too, was wearing one of the hardly-there swim suits and he looked so hot I got another one of my instant boners.

"Oh my," my mom laughed. "Doesn't he look yummy?"

"Tell me about it." I almost started crying. I fucking missed him. Cabel too. And Ernie and Shondo. Even Channing. We'd been having such a great time in Columbus last night, and then ...

Oh crap, I didn't want to think about it.

As the camera closed in on Johnny, Daniel was telling the viewers that he, Johnny Sands, a high school football player from Kenton, had been chosen Mr. Ohio Pride last night at Xanadude night club. He urged the viewers to watch the after-parade show which would feature yesterday's Headline News interview with Johnny and his partner Jason Landon, and video of them celebrating the Supreme Court same-sex marriage ruling last night at Xanadude.

Johnny grinned up at the camera boom, raised a fist in the air and pumped it mightily. Ohmygod, there was such a pang in my heart! I knew he was saying hello to me and there was no way I could greet him back. I couldn't call him. He obviously didn't have his phone on him. That Speedo was so tight it showed every line and contour, even his wonderful junk.

"You boys certainly have made a name for yourselves," my mom said in tones of wonder.

"Random wants to do a documentary on us," I told her. "Maybe a series of them following us through our senior year and into college."

"That'll sure fit into your celebrity plans." She got up and went over to the TV to lower the volume now that the Xanadude float had moved on. When she sat back down, she said much too brightly, "Now tell me about Cabel, okay?"

I was so uncomfortable, I should've been nauseous and unable to eat. But I was starving, not having eaten since yesterday afternoon at Jocko's. I kept shoveling the food into my mouth and reached for a second piece of toast.

"We picked up Ernie and his boyfriend Shondo, then drove to Columbus," I told her. "Then we stopped for a late lunch at a sports bar in the Short North neighborhood near the campus."

I told her how we met Cabel, how he and I looked so much alike and got on so well with each other, and that he met us at the club later in the evening. No, I didn't tell her we went to the bath house after that. That'd be way too much information she definitely would not want to hear.

"We figured we had to be long lost twin brothers, mom, or something almost as awesome. We look just about as identical as the Connors twins." I told her the rest of what I knew about Cabel, how his dad had rejected and abandoned him when he told him he was gay.

"So he's gay too?" She was taking a sip of her coffee and I could see the cup shaking in her hand.

"Yes. Dad has two gay sons. I was the second one to come out to him. It's no wonder he went so crazy."

She placed the cup down. "Is that common, two brothers both being gay?"

"Maybe not exactly common, but it happens. Brothers who grow up together are sometimes both gay, sometimes even both of a set of twins or all three of a set of triplets."

She leaned an elbow on the table and covered her mouth with her hand. "And how did you boys find out that you have the same father?"

That got me to stop eating. This was getting so difficult I'd actually lost interest in the food.

"I'm sorry, mom. I hate to tell you this."

"Just tell me, Jason. Get it over with."

So I told her how we'd met Rachel earlier, who and what she was, and how we ran into her and my dad in the elevator when we got back to the hotel.

"When we saw him I cried out 'Dad!' and Cabel did too. At the very same moment. And as shocked as we both were to see Dad, and me to see him with another woman, Cabel and I were so freakin' happy to know we're brothers. But Dad was incredibly angry to see us together." And I gave her a not so triple-X rated version of what he'd said to us.

Now she had both elbows on the table, both hands clamped over her mouth, and she started making squealing noises and I thought she was going to start crying. She began to shake, then suddenly roared with unexpected laughter that shocked the hell out of me.

"Oh," she cried out, "of all the ironic things that could happen." Her hands balled into fists and she banged them on the table. "That son of a bitch! I know it must've been awful for you and Cabel ... but your dad deserved that, seeing you two boys together, knowing that his two sons he'd abandoned and never wanted to know each other now do."

She was shaking with laughter. She really thought it was fucking funny. All I could do was gape at her.

"I'm sorry, honey," she said to me. "I know it wasn't funny, but he needed a good slap in the face for what he's done to you boys. I'm sure it was really effective."

Yes, a real slap in the face for him, the bastard.

"So you knew about Cabel all this time?" I asked her.

"Of course I knew about him and I'm sorry I kept it a secret from you, but I had to. I knew about your father's other life in Columbus, his Jay Cabel life with the girlfriends and hookers and his other son. But I couldn't tell you, Jason. I wanted you to love your father and have a good relationship with him. Which you always did. Until now."

"But mom, I would've loved to know Cabel while we were kids and growing up. To have an older brother would've been so awesome."

"I know. I know, honey. And there were times I suggested it to your father. But he didn't want to hear it. When Cabel's mom died, I begged to let him come live here. His grandmother too. I would have loved to have them here, but your dad wouldn't even talk about it. When men are philanderers and live secret lives, they don't ever want their two lives to mesh together. It freaks them out. That's part of the attraction for them. The secrets! Believe me, I know all about it. I've had years of therapy to help me deal with it. For him to see you and Cabel together and obviously loving each other is the most powerful blow the man could've gotten."

"What a sicko," I muttered. "He totally ditched us both, and just because we're queer."

"I didn't know that's why he cut Cabel out," she told me. "He never explained it to me, only that they'd had a falling out and that he was through with him. I worried so much about that boy, all alone on his own like that, and with his grandmother to help too."

I grabbed her hand again. "Why'd you stay with Dad all these years? Obviously it wasn't easy. It was so damn hard on you."

"He's a sick man, Jason. I couldn't just abandon him like he did you and Cabel. And I didn't find out about his other life till we'd been married several years and you were a little boy. At that point my main concern was that you had a good home. That's why people keep secrets and live with them sometimes, for the greater good of the ones they love. I don't see myself as a martyr, honey. I made a choice. I wanted a family and a good home for myself too, or at least the illusion that everything was okay. Sometimes the illusion that we're happy and things are okay is the best we can do."

That made me shudder. I knew exactly what she meant. The fucking illusion that everything was okay and that it all would be all right.

Ha, I was working hard on that too. Way fucking hard!

She placed her other hand over mine. "I did what I thought was best, Jason. Maybe it was a mistake. I don't know. I know it's affected you. You're having trouble with panic and anxiety now but you're basically a wonderful young man. If I'd left your father when you were little and we had to live on our own all these years, who knows what the results would have been?"

"You did the right thing," I assured her. "I wouldn't be who I am if Dad hadn't been around. He was my idol and inspiration and I like the person I've become." I shrugged my shoulders. "I sure as hell don't like the panic and anxiety, but I guess we all have to have something to struggle with."

I told her about the panic attack after the incident on the elevator, how intense it had been. How I'd been worried about her and had to come home.

"Of course you wanted to come home," she agreed. "When anxiety is that powerful, instinct tells you to go home where it's safe, even if things are not going so well there. I knew your dad was in Columbus, probably with another woman, and I was worried sick you'd run into each other. But I kept telling myself the odds of that happening were pretty slim."

That made me laugh. "I guess we totally beat the odds, huh? One thing I do know for sure, it'll definitely be a night that Dad will never forget. Me and Cabel either."

**

I helped my mom with the dishes, watching more of the parade as she washed and I dried. Then I gave the leftover food to Colt, who'd been doing his usual whining as if we'd forgotten all about him. When he was done slopping it up, I took him outside for a run around the neighborhood. Back home a few minutes later, I checked on my phone for Narcotics Anonymous meetings in the area and found an open one at the library near the high school at noon. Open meant the addicts could bring along someone as a support person, which meant I could go along with Braden.

I needed to be doing something. No way could I just sit around and wait for Johnny to come home.

I called Braden. "Hey hot stuff, there's a NarcAnon meeting at the library at noon. Want to go?"

"Jason! Man. sure I'd like to. Are you in Kenton?"

"Yah, something came up last night and I had to come home."

"Is everything okay?"

I almost laughed at that. "Sure. Good as could be expected. It was nothing serious."

"That's good. I saw you and Johnny on the news last night and all the video of you guys at the club. That was so cool. And I just saw Johnny in the parade. Mr. Ohio Pride! I can't believe it. You should've heard my dad – 'Get those queers off the TV! Good thing that boy's parents are both gone. They'd be so fuckin' ashamed.'" Braden snorted, adding, "He can't believe all those people went to see a parade of queers, the jerk. But anyway, I sure need to get my ass to those meetings, huh?"

"Either that or in a nice cozy bed with me," I joked.

"Hey, don't start talking like that to me ..."

"Why not?" I interrupted him. "It's the truth. I miss Johnny and need to be with somebody I love. You're the perfect substitute."

"Oh come on, dude. How could I sub for Johnny? He's Mr. Ohio. Did you see him in that Speedo bathing suit? He was hotter than the Colt models in the truck ahead."

"I know. That's why I miss him. And you could sub for anybody. If you were here right now I'd grab you and kiss you so hard you'd break. And you're a pretty tough dude, not easy to break."

I heard him suck in a deep breath. "Man, Jason. Don't tell me shit like that. I'll get so turned on I'll have to wear an athletic cup around you to hide all the boners I'll get."

I hooted at that. "Braden baby, you can get all the boners you want around me. I'll take real good care of every one of them. Meet me by Starbies about ten to noon, okay? We can walk up to the library. My mom needs her car to go to the beauty shop."

I had to take a cold shower after having seen Johnny on TV and talking to Braden on the phone. Ohmygod. I was so fucking horny for every hot guy there was. I probably needed to wear a cup too if I was going to sit next to Braden at a 12-Step meeting. No way could I not be turned on. Even my current state of high anxiety was not cutting in on my being horny.

Or maybe it was making it worse?

I pulled on a pair of denim shorts and an old Kenton High tank top, told my mom I'd be gone a couple hours, then walked over to Starbucks. On the way, I called Cabel.

He answered right away. "Jason! Damn, you oughtta be here. This parade is amazing. Best one I've seen. And we really miss you!"

It was so good to hear his voice. I couldn't get over how much I loved my brother. I could hear the music and cheering and Ernie and Shondo and Channing in the background shouting 'Yo dude!' and "Miss you babe.' and 'Get your ass back up here.'

"I miss you guys too," I sighed. "Where are you?"

"We've been following the parade alongside the Xanadude float. Right now we're in the Short North by my street. Did you see Johnny?"

"Yah. Jeez, he looks hot in that swim suit. Wait'll I get my hands on him."

Cabel laughed. "Those Colt daddies on the truck ahead keep whistling and calling and hooting at him. They're threatening to jump him when the parade is over."

"Tell 'em I'll fucking kill 'em," I growled.

"Haha. You're not even here, dude. Is your mom okay? Did she know about me?"

"She's all right. And, yes, she knew all about you. Wanted you and your grandma to come live with us after your mom died. But our Daddy Dearest nixed that idea."

"That would've been really cool, Jason. We could've been teenybopper bros together."

"Right, and we would've been a big sensation here in town like those Connors twins I told you about."

"How about you?" he asked. "You okay?"

"Oh yah. I'm meeting our bud Braden and going with him to a NarcAnon meeting. He's having trouble with drugs and needs to stop using."

"That's nice of you. Is he a real hot dude?"

I snorted. "Yes. He's beautiful. Slim and tight like you and he's a cheerleader. I got all aroused earlier just talking to him on the phone. Like I am right now talking to you."

"Whoa! You're a sex fiend. You're getting all turned on just talking to me?"

"Yup, I'm terminally horny. I think I need to be locked up or something."

"Fuck that, Jason. It's perfectly normal for guys our age to be horny all the time. Mother Nature made sure of that. And you can't fight Mother Nature."

Right then I saw Braden walk out of Starbucks. He was carrying a to-go cup of coffee and wearing a pair of tight jeans and a Rolling Stones t-shirt, and he looked sexy as hell. When he saw me, he flashed me a happy smile and my already chubbed-up dick went throb throb throb.

I hurried over to him saying to Cabel, "Here's Braden. Say hello to him."

I handed Braden the phone. "Here dude, it's my long lost brother I met in Columbus yesterday. His name's Cabel. He looks just like me and he's queer too."

Dude's brows shot up in question as he put the phone up to his ear. "Hey, hi Cabel," he said, not knowing what to expect.

I watched his expression change from one of uncertainty to surprise to wonder and then downright embarrassment. He was actually turning red.

"Jason said that?" he asked into the phone.

Then his face went through several more expression changes as Cabel talked on. Braden looked so cute and hot I wanted to grab him right there and then.

"Well, I sure hope he does," he chuckled into the phone. "And I hope you come down to Kenton so I can meet you, Cabel. Nice talking to you."

Braden handed me back the phone hardly able to look me in the eye, he was so embarrassed.

"Whatd'ja tell him?" I asked Cabel. "He's as red as a tomato."

"Just what you told me. That you're ready to bust your nuts over him because he's so freaking hot."

"Yes, totally ready and willing. Tell Johnny I can't wait till he gets home. I'm literally dying to see him. Okay?"

"I sure will. I'll talk to you soon, bro. I love you."

"He sounds like you, too," Braden said as I slipped the phone back into my pocket. "Are you twins?"

"Nah, he's two years older than me. He's my dad's illegitimate son." I threw my arm around his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll tell you all about him on our way to the ..."

There'd been a sudden eruption of clicks from all around us and my head whipped back and forth looking. Oh no, I'd forgotten that it was lunchtime on Saturday and we were standing in front of Starbucks. This was the very center of civilization here in Kenton, and it was teenyboppers-on-parade on the patio, about thirty of them, mostly girls. And they were photographing us with their camera phones.

For a moment I felt ridiculously paranoid, my eyes darting around looking for strange men, strange faces. And I did see one, just turning into the alley between the Apple Store and T. J. Maxx. But he was gone in a flash and I moved to go after him but fortunately got my senses back. Damn it. I was the one who asked for all this attention by going global on social media. I needed to stop getting so fucking paranoid!

"Shit, Braden. I'm sorry," I said, pulling him away with me. "I didn't even notice all those girls. Those pictures will be all over the place in a minute."

"You don't have to apologize, Jason. You can kiss me as much as you want." The way Braden was looking at me, I knew he meant it.

We had to stop for the traffic light so I kissed him again, this time on the lips. A couple car horns blared out at us. He got so excited he almost dropped his coffee cup.

I grinned at him. "Want another one? I got a whole shitload of kisses for you."

"Maybe later," he parried, breathlessly. "These jeans are tight and I'm getting a big boner. At this rate, when we get to the meeting they'll redirect us to a Sex Addicts Anonymous group."

"Puh! Which I definitely need," I grunted. "Oh no, I hope your dad doesn't see any of those pictures."

"Screw him, Jason. He doesn't know anybody who'd send him pictures or anything else, he's such a bastard. I'm proud to be seen with you, doing anything. And I gotta stop worrying if people think I'm queer. That's why I have the problems I do."

The light changed and I pulled him along with me into the crosswalk.

"Stick with me, buddy," I told him, "and everybody will know what the real story is."

**

"Hello everybody. My name is Braden and I'm a drug addict."

"Hello Braden," the thirteen other people in the circle of chairs responded. "Welcome to Narcotics Anonymous."

He was standing in front of his chair next to me, his turn now to introduce himself to the others and share his story with them. He was blushing red again and his voice was a little shaky. He looked down to me for support and I grabbed the back of his thigh with my hand and squeezed him reassuringly.

That seemed to give him a boost.

"I've been using drugs for about three years now," he continued. "I smoke weed almost every day and take lots of pills. Oxys and soma, percs, vikes, even meth if I can get it. I know I have to stop, and I'm really trying. I've been totally clean one whole day. I hope I can learn how to keep going in the right direction at these meetings."

He was speaking really well and the others were riveted by him. He looked like a hot Hollywood boy hunk doing an audition for Teen Wolf or the latest Zac Efron fraternity comedy, not a teen drug addict in a small hidden-away Appalachian town. I had to look away from him. I was too emotional and I was still way too sexually aroused.

The others had all spoken, shared their backstories or recent anecdotes from their road to recovery. I hadn't said anything, of course, I was here only as a support person. But most of the others knew me from playing football at Kenton High and the notoriety I'd acquired in the last week. They'd all said hello when we walked in. There were three girls from our school who knew us both, and I could tell they were totally dying over Braden as he spoke.

"... and that's how it all started," he was saying, "when I was little and my mom dressed me as a girl. It made me so ashamed around everyone, embarrassed and even scared. I grew up with a complete lack of self-esteem. I hated myself. I was such a freak! I really believed I was no good. My mom had rejected me as I was and my dad hated me the way I was becoming."

Oh jeez. He was really laying it on them. Two of the older women were crying, swiping away at their tears. The high school girls were just about falling off their chairs, aching to get their hands all over him, to comfort him, same as I was. The men were looking at him like they wished he was their son.

"I got bullied a lot," Braden told them. "The other boys wouldn't let me play with them and they often made fun of me and called me names. Even my buddy here." He turned to me and smiled. "I so badly wanted to be his friend and be one of the boys, but he'd always call me 'sissy' and tell me to get lost."

They all looked at me like I was one of the Walking Dead. I properly hung my head in shame. There were already enough reasons for the people in town to dislike me, this was just one more. I wanted to tell them how much I loved Braden now and how I'd do anything to help fix him. But I didn't have to. Braden did.

"Aww, don't look at him like that," he said. "Now he's my really good friend and he's helping me to get better. It's because of him I've managed to stay clean a whole day, and he suggested I come here to this meeting today."

Their expressions softened a little bit – just a little, and a couple of them nodded in approval. Two of the teen girls were looking from Braden to me and back and forth again, smiling knowingly, and I sure knew what they were thinking.

"So thank you so much for listening to me," he concluded. "I hope I can experience some of the recovery I heard all of you talking about today. It sure is inspiring and gives me a lot of hope for the future."

The way they were looking at him, I thought they were going to applaud. Low self-esteem? If only he could see himself the way others did. I'm sure if they held a Mr. Ohio NarcAnon contest, he'd win it hands down.

I had to really seriously pray during the following closing prayer. We were all holding hands around the circle, and I was holding Braden's hand on my left. I don't think I ever said the Our Father with such concentration. And I made a mental note – whenever doing anything with Braden, wear a damn athletic cup and baggy pants.

I went off to the men's room after the prayer because I knew they were going to pounce on Braden as soon as it was over, and I didn't want to be in the way. I was right. More than half of them rushed over and surrounded him, all chatting away excitedly.

I went out into the hall and found the bathroom feeling confident that Braden would have a really good chance of finding the help he needed here. I planned to call Carey later in the day and tell him all about it. There was no reason he couldn't keep on seeing Braden now that Braden was serious about stopping his drug habit. Carey would be all the more incentive for him to stop. And he could go to the meetings with Braden too.

Like really. Carey Connors or drugs? Fuck. That's a no brainer. Carey's the only possible choice.

When I walked back into the meeting room, the three high school girls were just about doing what's called 'heavy petting' with Braden. Totally all over him. So I figured I'd give them a little more time to ... um ... get acquainted, and walked over to the back windows. They looked out over a park-like area and a grassy slope that led down to a ravine where it was heavily treed along the creek at its bottom.

Far to the right I could see the stadium and practice field at Kenton High, and I got a strong sudden stab in the heart remembering that my football days at that school were over. Yow! It was hard to imagine how I was going to feel come Thursday morning when all my buds, including Johnny, would jog off to practice and I'd be at Johnny's all alone with a ton of memories and his PC in front of me where I'd be setting off on my new life.

I flinched when I saw a shadow move out in the trees by the ravine.

A man? Was it a man, a dark-haired man like by Starbucks, watching the windows here in the meeting room?

My head whipped back and forth as the shadow moved. Fuck. What the ...? Nah, it couldn't be. Who the hell would be watching me? Who the hell would follow me to the library?

My fists balled as I looked up to the sky. It was windy and cloudy now. Big fluffy clouds were racing across the sun and making shadows. That's all.

Stop being so damn jumpy, I told myself. Nobody's watching. Focus the fuck on being horny. That's hot. Way better than paranoid.

I made a face at the shadows in the ravine and turned around to go join Braden and his newfound adoring fangirls.

**

 Thanks everyone for reading and keeping this book going strong.

Final chapters ahead ...