"Why is everyone staring at me?" Kai asked, when he found me at my locker after our second class of the day.

The clang of lockers opening and closing was secondary to the sound of conversation, as kids grabbed their food from their lockers and spoke in hushed voices. There were many hastily averted stares as people clocked our presence. Since homeroom, I'd had the feeling that everyone was talking about me.

And they probably were.

It had only been two hours since I'd given Jameson the ammunition he needed to spread gossip like wildfire, and he worked faster than I'd ever anticipated. Sympathetic smiles had greeted me around every corner, and one girl had even patted my back and vowed to hate Tommy and Sydney forever.

Kai was leaning against the locker beside me—Sydney's locker, though I hadn't seen her at it yet—and frowned as a tall guy from the football team strode past and held up a peace sign that held every ounce of despondency the gesture could possibly convey. "See? It's weird. I didn't realise just hanging out with little Valerie Williams would be such a point of contention."

I pulled a stack of books from my locker to free the backpack beneath them, struggling slightly under the weight of so many textbooks. These suckers were not made with short people in mind. Kai took them easily from me and stacked them casually in the crook of his elbow.

"Thanks," I said, poking him affectionately in the arm. "And I wouldn't think hanging with me would cause so much of a stir usually, no."

Kai raised an eyebrow. "Usually?"

I shrugged. "I may have told Jameson that I was hanging with you because Tommy and Sydney did the dance with no pants at Jack's party. And then given him permission to tell anyone he knows."

Kai gaped at me. "Val, that's everyone."

I pulled my lunch out from my backpack, and turned to him with a satisfied smile. "Oh, I know."

Zara Anderson and Cameron Davenport walked past, their eyes flicking to us with curiosity. I waved cheerfully at them, while Kai was still looking at me with something like disbelief.

He tapped on the metal of my locker until I turned my attention from Zara and Cam, back toward him.

"Yes?"

Kai ran a hand through his hair. "Are you okay?"

I tilted my head. It was not annoyance or frustration that I saw on Kai's face. It wasn't even surprise. He didn't seem particularly concerned that the attention of the whole school was on him; I guess he knew what he'd signed up for, and attention was hardly something he was unaccustomed to. But the concern plastered across his face was touching.

"Yeah," I said softly. "I mean, I was the one who told Jameson to spread the information."

His eyes seemed to pierce through me. "That doesn't mean it's easy."

"I'm not embarrassed by it, if that's what you mean," I said, lifting my chin. "I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of. I'm not worth any less just because he decided I was. It's not embarrassing that he decided two years wasn't worth as much to him as a quick lay with a girl he hates. I was not... defined by that relationship. Or by my relationship with Sydney."

That might not have been entirely true, but still.

"That's not what I meant," said Kai.

I snatched my books back from him and shoved them back into my locker. I didn't deign Kai with an answer. His words had stung; not because he meant them maliciously, or had insinuated that I was embarrassed. His words had stung because if that was what he had meant, he wouldn't have been wrong.

It was a tiny bit embarrassing.

And I knew—deep down—that it shouldn't be. But the sympathetic smiles may as well have screamed you're pathetic, Valerie Williams. Isn't this all so tragic? Who are you without them, really?

When I didn't answer, Kai sighed. "You know, your locker is very messy."

I shut it with a satisfying clang, twisting the lock fast so that the teetering stack of books couldn't fall over and force it open again. It was always a race against time, shutting my locker. "And?"

Kai shrugged. "I dunno, you just seem like you'd be a very neat person. It's surprising."

"Didn't we establish that you don't know me very well?" I said, with an uncharacteristic snippiness. Kai didn't deserve it, but the words came out forcefully. "It's hard to know anything about a shadow, isn't it?"

He just stared at me, quiet. He was surprisingly emotionally mature, Kai Delaney. He knew that I would twist anything he said, and he also knew that remaining silent would immediately send an embarrassed flush to my cheeks. I felt them warm under his stare.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I didn't mean that."

He just smiled. "I know you didn't. You've had it pretty rough, and you get to snap at me at least another half dozen times. But, you know, you're holding up pretty well, as a whole. I definitely wouldn't be."

"Yes, I can imagine you weeping into your sandwich and reciting heartbroken poetry in the cafeteria."

Kai threw his arm around my shoulders. "I wouldn't have made it to school. I'd be singing Taylor Swift heartbreak anthems from my bedroom windows for the birds to hear." I laughed. I couldn't help it. A satisfied smile touched Kai's lips as he looked down at me. But then he placed one finger under my chin to tilt my face up, looking down at me with a certain seriousness. "Honestly though. You're amazing with how well you've handled this. You're... fiery. It's kind of awesome to watch."

"Fiery," I echoed.

"Yeah," he said. "That's why I would never have suggested you were embarrassed. Or, God forbid, worth any less than you used to be. Me? I like this Valerie way more, anyway."

I flipped my hair over my shoulder and batted my eyelashes at him. "Of course, you do." I winked at him. "You're completely and utterly obsessed with me. As your girlfriend, I would certainly hope so."

A locker slammed next to us. It snapped me out of the reverie of Kai's company, and I whirled out of his arms to face the girl behind me.

Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen; not even the carefully applied concealer could hide the evidence of long, sleepless, tearful nights. Glossy hair fell in neat waves; perfect and pristine, but it fell across the side of her face like a shield. White-knuckled fingers clenched around her combination lock, and her face coloured a deep scarlet.

Sydney's sneer was scathing. "Girlfriend?"

I opened my mouth, and snapped it closed again.

Sydney laughed hollowly. "You're going out with Kai Delaney."

Kai's arm fell from my shoulders, falling resolutely to his sides. I looked over at him, my eyes wide. I could feel panic beginning to rise, writhing in my stomach like a live thing.

The carefully arranged pieces of our plan fell apart before my eyes. Date nights and public appearances, curated to tell a believable love story formed in the wake of tragedy. But a relationship started in the days after heartbreak is never anything but a revenge story.

I saw no way to sell this.

Everyone would know about my scheme; everyone would figure out that I had to resort to blackmail to get a date, and would see me for the pathetic, downtrodden figure I was. The girl who was betrayed by the two people who were meant to love her most, outside of her own family. Sydney knew me so well—could probably trace the pattern of my heartbeat—and the shock and disbelief on her face was a puncture in our plan. How could I have been so stupid?

"Hi, Sydney," Kai said at last. He winced when his voice came out as a slight crackle; rough with surprise and desperation. "It's ah..." Good to see you were the unspoken words he couldn't bring himself to say. He settled on a faint, "I, uh, hope you're having a good day."

Evidently, for all of his swagger and charm, effortless segues were not part of Kai Delaney's repertoire. Unfortunately, they were not part of mine either.

Sydney was staring down at us—her eyes like two daggers boring into our chest, heart, head. Fury set her jaw, and I don't think I'd ever seen Sydney mad like this. "So, hang on a second," she said, and her voice was brittle. "You're mad at me for screwing your boyfriend—thanks for telling everyone, by the way—and yet, you were fucking around with Kai behind our backs?" She was squeezing the lock as if it was holding her up, clutching the bag on her back with equal ferocity. "I think the description you're looking for is hypocrite."

"That is not what happened," I said forcefully.

Sydney didn't look as if she believed me. "Oh, so it took you one weekend to find yourself a new boyfriend? You certainly got over the both of us quickly. Shy little Valerie Williams works fast, apparently." She dropped her hand from the lock, letting it fall with a certain stiffness. "You know, I've spent the weekend crying. Feeling sorry for myself, sure, but feeling sorrier for you and what I'd put you through." She laughed darkly. "Thanks for assuaging my guilt, I guess. It's not like I have to feel bad when we both did the same thing."

She turned to walk away, the hair across her face now tucked behind her ears, and her tear-splotched face held hair. Before I could think about the action, I was grabbing her arm and whirling her back around.

"What?" she demanded.

Kai answered for me. "Not that Valerie cheated," he said casually. "But it still doesn't make it the same thing."

Sydney narrowed her eyes at him. It was the first time she'd looked at Kai Delaney with anything other than a flirtatious smile. "Isn't it?"

Kai shrugged. "I mean, sure, if she had cheated, she'd fucked Tommy over, sure. But it wouldn't have been screwing you over." He tapped on the metal of the lockers with an antagonistic smile. "Makes her a bad girlfriend, but not a bad friend. That's still just you."

Sydney's middle finger shot up in Kai's direction, but she couldn't exactly defend herself. She wasn't willing to admit her lifelong crush on him, and even so, a crush is not the same thing as what Tommy was to me.

"Besides," I added. "I wasn't fooling around with Kai behind anyone's back. He comforted me after you turned my whole world upside-down, and we've been hanging out."

"Some hanging out," Sydney said, arms crossed. "So desperate for love that you needed to lock down a boyfriend in two days?"

Her words were knives, and if my relationship with Kai was real, they would've plunged through skin. False insults, it seemed, didn't hurt quite as much. Desperate for love, though, that stung. Because she wasn't wrong.

I wouldn't date a boy like Kai Delaney if it was love that I wanted.

But I couldn't deny that I'd clung to Tommy and Sydney with a single-minded loyalty and devotion. My friendship with this girl had been forged in the wake of tragedy, and she had held me up through the darkest moments of my life. When I'd felt as if the world was caving in, and I would be crushed beneath its weight. As much as I might try, I couldn't deny that her loss was like a void in the centre of my heart. That I wanted to wipe the tears from her cheeks and tuck her head into the crook of my shoulder. That I also wanted to lightly stab her for betraying that friendship. Lightly.

My face remained, thankfully, blank. Casual. "Think what you want, Sydney. I don't owe you anything, anymore. But I know that you know me better than that. Of all people, I would never have been fooling around with Kai and lying to you about it."

Sydney believed me. I could see it in her eyes. I was honest to a fault; in a way she never was. I was her moral compass—I didn't always do the best job of it, but she was only ever as cruel as the bounds of my forgiveness would let her be—and she knew, she knew, that I wouldn't have lied to her about Kai.

"But I'm supposed to believe that you connected and started dating within, what, three days?" Sydney said sceptically.

No, that would be ridiculous. You don't just get to lock down a boy like Kai with that kind of timeframe, especially when someone like you couldn't. I wanted revenge and it is stupid and petty but it's how I'm going to convince myself that I'm totally okay. I don't want to forgive you, but if you can't forgive me, it makes it so much easier.

"Nah, we were just playing," said Kai, before I could say anything. I looked up at him, and grabbed his wrist and squeezed it warningly. I hoped it came off as amiable and loving. Kai looked down at me, and winked. "We've been hanging out, and I don't know, I guess I didn't realise how cool she was. We've never really had the opportunity to get to know each other." Kai smiled softly, and it was an expression of such adoration that I was ready to sign him up for an acting class. "So, I asked her out." When Sydney opened her mouth to deliver a scathing assessment of my morals, Kai added, "Alas, she rejected me."

Sydney and I both stared at him with slightly open mouths. What? No one was ever going to believe that.

"Alas?" I asked.

"Rejected?" Sydney added.

Kai nodded with a solemnness that truly spoke of his acting prowess. He was a natural. "Ah, I mean, I get it. It's so soon, and without Tommy she could really have her pick of the litter. I mean, Jameson is probably ready to throw his hat in the ring as well. Figured I should give it a shot. Unfortunately, Val is mean and makes fun of my obvious infatuation."

"Her sarcastic sense of humour can be like that, yes," Sydney said faintly.

Kai wrapped his arms around my shoulder again, poking my nose lightly as I squirmed beneath his arm. "We're friends, though. I guess we're just seeing what happens."

When I looked up at him, my admiration wasn't false. Kai's innate charm was a lifesaver; like Sydney, he was the kind of person who could convince you to do anything he wished. And if Kai could pretend that he liked me, enough to fool Sydney? I had a feeling this plan might actually work.

Sydney tugged on a loose strand of hair near her ear, her bottom lip tucked beneath her teeth. "Well, okay," she said on an exhale. "I guess its back to feeling sorry for myself again, huh?" The words were vulnerable, said on a small laugh. I could hear how lost she was, beneath them. There was no anger; she just sounded tired. She turned and walked away, down the hall.

But I couldn't forgive her, and she couldn't take back what she'd done.

It was far more fun to play with game with Tommy. It was easier to play up to anger than it was to heartbreak. But Sydney was the one who broke my heart first.

"You," I said to Kai. "Are an excellent liar."

Kai grinned at me. "You know, it's really not that hard."