Sometimes all I want is to be a small crab inside a seashell, deep emerged under the blue waters of an ocean. But there aren't blue waters in Wisconsin, only the dark waters of a lake filled with clams and mussels.

"Maroney is the perfect guy for you." I hear Meggie say when I finally press the play button for Vampire Diaries on my laptop. "I wish Mike was like that."

Instead of watching the love triangle involving Elena, Damon, and Stefan, I think whether would be more reasonable to pause the show again and tell her the truth about that asshole. "He even said he'd cook me breakfast today, and of course, this never happened. What do you think happened to him? For him to disappear in the morning? Who was that woman with him?"

Damon approaches Elena slowly, looking deeply into her eyes as tears come down her face. He comforts her by making her forget. He'd compelled Elena to forget something she wanted to forget. Wouldn't life be easier if we all could forget our dark past, people we love but don't love us back? Or forget that we even exist?

"I have something to tell you," I begin my speech as I pause the show—the show-stopping with Elena in tears. An emotional hurricane comes with full force inside me, but I don't find the strength to pull the words out of my mouth. Meggie looks at me, waiting, her feet stretch on the reclining chair. How painful will that be for her? And if she doesn't believe me?

"Mike...hum. He..."

"He what?" she asks, her eyes widening as her body tenses up under the loose clothes – the ones she'd borrowed from me.

"He is not a good person......"

We suddenly hear the sound of a key turning inside the locker with TJ coming inside the apartment. He smiles when he sees me sitting on the chair by Meggie and head our way toward us. "What are you two watching? Porn?" he jokes around. He has no idea things had been shitty since last night out.

"Vampire Diaries. Want to watch it?" Meggie invites him to come along.

"Nah. I'm not the Twilight type of guy. I'm not into superheroes, zombies, or aliens eating people across the universe."

"What movie do you like then?" Meggie suddenly sounds interesting in TJ's personal life. I'm happy her hungover has improved in the last couple of hours, even though I was unwilling to convince her to eat the chicken sandwich I'd prepared while Maroney was still here.

"TJ is into the serious stuff, Meggie."

"Hum, let me think. Beautiful mind, Aviator, The blind side, Schindler's List, Men of Honor. There are more. Cristiane F and The Basketball Diaries."

"Oh," Meggie opens her mouth in awe. "Those are sad. How does anyone get involved with drugs, anyway?"

"With a choice," TJ answers.

"Right," Meggie agrees.

"I don't know," I confess. "Is it really a choice? If it was, then how come they can't stop?'

Meggie thinks for a moment, "Because they don't want to."

"Or they can't."

"Well, they made their choice before," TJ adds. "I mean before the addiction happened."

Meggie thinks for a moment, "What about watching The Notebook?"

TJ pauses, "The name rings the bell. Is it good?"

"Are you kidding me? You'd never watched that one before?" She asks in disbelief. I have probably watched this one more time than Titanic. "Love story."

"I swear I'll kill both of you if this movie is a chick flix. I'm going to get myself popcorn. Want some, too?" He offers as he heads to the kitchen.

"I thought you didn't like anything unhealthy," I say out loud.

"We all going to die anyway sooner or later, Cassidy." I see him grabbing a bottle of juice out of the fridge. I go there to get water.

"So how is everything going?" he asks me in a low voice while Meggie searches for the Notebook. "Hum, Meggie, huh?" I see a smile surfacing from the corner of his lips.

"Everything is fine." I know he has a crush on my friends, and this doesn't bother me.

"Cassidy has two guys into her," Meggie shouts from the recliner.

"Oh, really?" I notice TJ's interested expression behind his curious eyes. I know I have to tell him right away when he finally grabs the partially folded popcorn bag and places it into the microwave. I hear the kettle popping inside the bag in less than ten seconds, and the smell of salt buttered popcorn appears into the air.

"I'm assuming that Maroney guy is the number one. Who is guy number two?"

"I don't know if he is still interested. He was."

Meggie movies on her recliner, "Not true, you should see it...Denver follows her like a puppy dog..."

"It is not like that, Meggie," I intervene. "She always tends to exaggerate everything she says. "TJ, you know how she is."

"Make sure to keep your options open. Wait! Did you say Denver?" Just the mention of his name makes me jump.

"Oh-oh. Do you know him?"

He stares at me for a moment, "Yes, we'll talk about him, but not now," his voice is practically whispering, and this time Meggie doesn't hear. I wonder what TJ knows about him that is so important. I grab a bowl from the cupboard as TJ grasp for the popcorn bag out of the microwave. I watch him opening the bag containing the popped kernels carefully, avoiding eye contact from the steam escaping from the wrap. Then he throws fresh popcorn into the bowl. The heated sugars inside the kernels give a toast.

"Popcorn can smell like bearcat's butt, or at least that's what scientists say."

"That's why I prefer popcorn made on the stove or from a popcorn machine," I conclude.

Next, TJ grabs a chair from the kitchen, moving toward the living room for us to watch the movie. "What a shame. We need a couch."

"What's up with Scarlet, by the way?" TJ places his chair by Meggie's recliner and sits down. "I walked past her on my way here, and she appears to be pissed off about something, which isn't something new, of course."

Meggie and I both burst into laughter, "She called the landlord over a cat I'd brought in here."

"You did what? You brought a cat?"

"He is gone now to Cassidy's boyfriend's house," Meggie says. "You know, had no idea, but Mr. Dude is a psycho as much as Scarlet is. And I told you, the guy treats her like a queen. She should date him."

"He never said he wants to date me," I say defensively.

"Humm, that seems interesting. First of all, what type of name is this? What type of person names a cat as Mr. Dude?" He moves toward Meggie with his popcorn, and I have the feeling I'm playing the third wheel.

"Right. My neighbor Vicky is hilarious. She rescued the cat, and it came with this name. By the way, I said shit to Scarlet, and she hates me now. Wow, the Notebook is out of Netflix. We have to look for another movie."

"Find some action then," suggests TJ.

"Shit," Meggie shouts while taking a look at her cell.

"What?" TJ and I ask.

"You... you didn't call the cooperative to tell I was sick to go to that dinner meeting." Meggie looks at her phone she'd placed in silence. "They called me like ten times."

***

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