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  Seven years ago, on May 15th 2011, at 9:49 P.M., my mother died in childbirth. It's been really hard growing up from the age of seven without a mom. With three little brothers and one grieving father, it seamed like I was invisible. Though there's always been one person I could count on. One person who I knew would always be there. My best friend and older sister, Cassie.

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It's November 28th 2018, some people might think it is too soon to start thinking about Semi, but I'm already on Pinterest, trying to find the perfect dress. It is my freshman year of high school and I want my first Semi to be perfect! “Omg! That dress is so cute!” My bff, Nala, squeals over my shoulder as she catches a glimpse of the ivory dress I'm looking at.

“Ya, I know it's early but I'm already looking for Semi.” I laugh, as my other friends from the lunch table gather around my phone and look at the pins I have saved.

“The dress is really cute, but are you sure you want to order it online? I mean you never know how it will turn out when it arrives.” My other friend Ava pointed out.

“Ya, it's a big risk, you sure you want to take the chance?” Mollie comment.

To be completely honest, I didn't want to order my dress online, I mean it could look great on camera, but look horrible on me. Plus, I've always wanted to go dress shopping for a big and fancy dress. I've always dreamed about doing so with my mother, only she's not here anymore. Going with my father would just be hard, not to mention awkward. He's not the best at dress shopping. “Ya, I really like this dress and I hate shopping anyways.” I lied.

“Alright, but our moms were talking about taking us to go dress shopping in a big group, if you change your mind your more than welcome to come.” Mollie said. I could see the symphony in her eyes. It was clear she knew I was upset and wanted to include me in some mother/daughter things.

Just the thought of going dress shopping with my friends and their moms, without mine, just sounded painful. “Thanks, but I think I'll pass.” Mollie just knodded and let me return to my phone in silence.

I know it's been seven years, I know I should be used to not having a mother. And some days I am. Though there are other days were it's really hard. I miss her and miss the things we used to do, but even more, I miss the things we could've done but never got to. All those memories we could have had, but don't. More than anything I miss her. Her smile was contagious, when she smiled the whole room did as well. I miss her blue eyes, her and my sister are the only two in our family with blue eyes. They sparkled when any glimpse of light hit them. My mother laughed at the smallest things, she was just always so happy, and that made others happy too. I miss her smile, I miss her eyes, I miss her laugh. I just miss, her.