Life in Edward's sleepy neighbourhood was a vacation. Waking up to the sounds of birds chirping, breathing fresh air with a scent of green leaves, looking outside through the big window, starting at the beautiful the light blue clear sky, was the highlight of my days. I woke up to steaming breakfast waiting for me in one of the living rooms, chosen for its back-patio deck overlooking the beautiful swimming pool. Through the morning, I resumed the book I was reading the previous night before drifting away. In the afternoon, the cook, the landscaper and the house cleaner, all selected because they are the best at what they do, kept me company until Edward came home from work.

There was much more substance behind the fine cut suit and the snarky one-liners. Edward owned a law firm in the Parklands area- Abuchi and Associates. He had one of the most intelligent minds I had ever met with the work ethic of a supernatural machine. The way he talked about life made the stars twinkle in perfect moonlight. The way he spoke of the things he loved like they were childhood dreams come true, made my heart dance like a ballerina. We would talk about anything, debating about everything. Anticipating him to get home, I would have a list of things in my head I needed to say to him. I found that I was talking to myself at night, no one in the room just me and the light, coming up with argument points for his next questions. I needed to, given how good of a lawyer he was. He was remarkable, intelligent and kind. He was, just like Ken, the worst thing that ever happened to me.

I wasn't prepared for the man who changed his entire schedule for in order to keep me company. I was not ready for the man guy who checked up on me every evening. Or asked for my opinion on topics I had no knowledge in. So, for the past week, I avoided him. Deep down I knew that women like me didn't get men like him. I had nothing to offer him, just like I had nothing to offer Ken.

11:30 arrived. I was dozing off softly to the tingly sensations of the breeze sipping through the window. Edward hadn't been home yet, but I knew it was just a matter of time. Quickly, I limped to the bathroom in order to get ready for bed before he got home.

Unfortunately, he barged into my room just as I tucked myself into bed. "Good, you're awake."

My stomach churned.

"I don't sleep all the time," I answered too quickly, trying to match my tone with my beaming expression. "Our schedules just happened to have clashed for the past week."

I was forever a blabbing mess anytime I was nervous.

"Really? Or have you been pretending to be asleep every time I come to check on you?"

I clutched my sweaty hands underneath the covers. "Why would I do that?"

"You aren't avoiding me, are you? We don't have a problem?"

Yes! God, yes. I'm avoiding you. "None at all."

Every time I was within a fifteen-meter radius of this man, no matter how hard I scolded myself, I'd find myself standing dangerously close to the edge again. Consequences be damned.

He loosened his tie and pushed back the sleeves of his shirt. "We should go and see the doctor. Your heart needs to be checked."

"My heart is okay; you don't have to worry about it all the time."

"This isn't up for discussion."

I schooled my expression into a stern one. I disliked the version of Edward with the inflated ego and pride. The one who thought that his word was gospel. No matter how high up on a pedestal I had him, this version of him knocked him too many notches.

"I'm not your wife," I sneered.

"You'd like, that wouldn't you?" He sat on the bed with the back of his hand on my forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"

I knocked his hand away in frustration. Defiantly, I held his gaze. "I'm not the one suffocating you."

"You're really good at arguing with me."

"I'm not arguing with you. All I'm asking is for you to respect me and my space. I understand that you're worried, but I ..."

Everything happened in an instant. One minute, I was setting clear boundaries and the next his mouth covered mine in a rough, fervent kiss that robbed me of all the air. Commanding and adept his lips guided mine. Pausing. He tasted of cinnamon. I felt all the blood rush to the surface, like a million butterflies piercing my skin. I returned his kiss ardently, and when he pulled his head back, I gazed up at him.

He stood a safe distance away and was the first to break the awkward silence. "About the doctor, I'll feel a lot better if we get your heart checked. I'll call Dr Singh and book an appointment in the morning."

There's a bitter aftertaste to his kiss. Is that regret in your eyes? I lacked the brilliant qualities of discernment of my impulsive, jovial father, possessing instead, in a high degree, my mother's compensating virtues of moderation, sobriety and self-control. I took a deep breath trying to control myself.

"Can we please visit my doctor instead; I haven't been to my workplace for a while now and I'm sure everyone is worried sick about me."

Slowly, I soothed my swelling lips. He stared at my mouth for a minute longer, as if he hadn't heard a word I just said.

"Edward?"

"Fine, see you in the morning. Have a good night."

Lord! I fell back on the bed. There was a problem with my heart alright. Never in my life had it been so attracted to a man like him – so totally out of control in his presence.

***

The next day couldn't come any faster than it did. Other than the hum of the engine, it was excessively quiet inside the car as we drove to the hospital. I tried not to let the silence bother me. I felt stupid for changing my appearance, hoping Edward would take notice. I had taken out the cornrows on my head, washed my hair and let the curls run wild. I wore a short, long-sleeved floral dress I bought on the street that I saved hoping that one day Ken would ask me out on a date. I looked almost beautiful. Maybe he wouldn't feel so ashamed of kissing me if I looked better. But apparently it wasn't good enough for Edward. Was the kiss that much of a mistake to him?

AMI hospital was in Langata along the Southern Bypass about two hours away from Edward's home in the traffic. We pulled into the clinic's parking. By then my irritation had disappeared and I looked forward to seeing everyone I worked with.

Edward studied the surrounding with disdain.

"It's a good clinic. Dr. Ken is one of the best surgeons in the country," I reassured him. "He started the clinic to treat patients in low-income households around this area. He got his medical degree from the Brighton & Sussex Medical School."

"I haven't said a word."

I snapped off my seatbelt and stepped outside the car. "You don't need to; your eyes speak what your mouth is trying not to say."

"So, this is where you work?"

Edward followed me in as I struggled to walk. "This is where the magic happens."

"What magic?" he asked flatly. Asshole.

Carol, the receptionist was delighted to see me as soon as we walked in. "Anna banana, what happened to you?"

Horrified, I rubbed at my temples at that ridiculous nickname she got from a movie she watched. I hated it so much.

"Anna banana?" Edward leaned in and whispered. "I like that."

I tried to answer the endless questions that Carol asked about my whereabouts and the accident. She scolded me for an unnecessary period about the dangers of not being careful on the road. She lectured me about what could have happened had I not been so lucky. As if I didn't know that myself. But just when I thought it was all over, Naomi joined with questions of her own.

"He's so fine," she mouthed pointing to Edward who sat across the reception desk, in the waiting area, head buried in his phone.

My cheeks warmed. "I guess."

"I guess," Naomi mocked, her voice getting louder. "Does this mean we're over Ken?"

Edward's head snapped up and our eyes met. Looking away from him, I sighed. "Can we just see Dr. Ken? Is he in? Is he available?"

"Mhhh," Carol dragged the sound on her tongue. Her eyes moved up and down my body, as she slumped hands on her waist. "We all know that he's ready to see you any time you want him to."

Their audacity and lack of consideration left my mouth hanging.

"Go," she said, pointing toward the doctor's office. "He's alone. Make sure to pass by my desk before you leave and give me all the juicy details."

Ken crouched down on his desk, flipping through a stack of papers. I hadn't seen in him in such a long time that I forgot what it was like to be near him. At that moment, Edward seemed to have faded away into the background. For two years, I looked for Ken's eyes in everyone I came across. I looked for his smile in the guy who sold me roasted maize every evening on my way home and his voice with every switch of the radio. I tried to make him the villain in our story but couldn't. I ended up creating a fantasy of our lives together in a house far from the city, like I knew he wanted, away from the bustle. We would have a dog or a cat, because we'd be in a penthouse suite looking over the rainy cityscape up high in the thin air, dancing drinking mocktails and laughing. It was just a fantasy, a novelty afforded by imagination so that when I heard his voice, it didn't hurt not to hear what I wished he said to me.

"Good morning, doctor?"

"Maria?" His brows drew in together as he stood, stoically studying me. "I've been looking everywhere for you, what the fuck happened?"

Never had I heard a word so crass come out of those perfect lips. The worry that outlined his perfect face wasn't just my imagination, it was real. I allowed a grim smile, inwardly steeling myself from the fuzzy feeling.

"Maria..." He adjusted his glasses with a smile. Oh Lord, his smile could end wars. "What happened?"

"I got into an accident. I'm sorry, I should have contacted you sooner... but I don't really know what happened to my phone and I lost your number. I didn't even think about looking for it online because ..." His eyes were on me. "...because I've been very distracted by..."

Edward slammed the door close, irritated. With a straight face, I made the necessary introductions as if my insides weren't crumbling into themselves. They shook hands but Ken barely looked at him. We sat.

"I prefer it when you call me Ken," he said with that charismatic smile again. I couldn't help but smile back. "It's good to meet you, Edward. This accident, tell me more about it."

I explained everything in very brief detail.

"It's very kind of you to still take care of her after everything you have already done." Finally, Ken acknowledged Edward's presence by looking at him. The tension was thick, their heat filling the empty space between them.

"It's not a problem at all." Edward grabbed my hand into his. "I was more than happy to take responsibility."

Why did he make that word sound so dirty?

"I came to get my heart checked, he insisted on it, but I feel fine."

"She claims that she's fine, but I'm worried," Edward chimed in.

The doctor looked between us quietly. He had questions to ask, but I knew better than anyone that Ken was not the type to pry. "Let's get your heart checked before we jump into any conclusions. Shall we? I'll make some arrangements."

He got up and left Edward and me alone in his office. I pulled my hand away. "What was that?"

"What?"

"You know what."

His eyes narrowed at me. "You mean the flirting going on between you and your boss?"

"Excuse me? He's my boss."

"Is that why you insisted on seeing him? You even went as far as to dress up for him..." I felt hot when his eyes dropped to my thighs. "That dress is very short, you realize, that don't you? Just because he's your boss doesn't make the fact that you're trying to sleep with him less obvious."

He noticed the dress.

"Are you jealous?"

Edward laughed and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Don't get things confused just because I kissed you last night."

"Operative words being that you kissed me."

He leaned into me with his signature smug look on his face. "Yes, and you were so quick to stop me, weren't you?"

At that moment, I was paralyzed, staring at the impossible man who gazed at me with some unfathomable emotion. I was never one to hold my tongue. I have always been fiercely outspoken, even when people took away pieces of my personality. The freedom to speak my truth always remained and I was proud of it.

"You can be one thing or the other, Edward," I said with finality. "You're either interested and jealous, or you're uninterested and indifferent. You can't be both. I'm not the least bit interested in playing games."

He pinned me with his bright gaze for a moment. "What? You don't want your boss to misunderstand what's going on between us?"

"Which is what exactly? Enlighten me."

As suspected, Edward didn't have a rebuttal for me. As if the question I asked wasn't essential figuring out why he was acting like a jealous boyfriend one minute and a guy who couldn't get rid of his ex the next. I didn't have the energy to push the discussion further so when Ken returned to ask me to join him, I couldn't have been happier.

***

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