I saw him like a solid rock jutting out of a turbulent sea. Someone to cling on to amidst the uncertainty of this strange new vampire life. Micah was here in this world, in my world. He was the familiarity that my unconscious kept reaching out for and tonight I almost touched him. He was there in front of me on Emma’s laptop- how he got on my dead cousin’s laptop didn’t matter- Micah was alive. I had spoken to him and for a few brief moments, I was overjoyed to see him, I had so much to ask him about my home town, my parents, my school, our old friends- I didn’t know where to start but I never got the opportunity.

The laptop lay across Emma’s floor in a thousand pieces, Michael stood solemnly in the corner reeling from the verbal slap I had delivered him after he smashed my little bubble of hope. I knew it was childish, I knew I shouldn’t have said it, but god at the moment in time Michael could have been the devil himself. My whole body was numb trembling with rage. How could Michael do this? Was he jealous? Was he trying to prevent me from breaking the stupid vampire treaty- lord knows why every other vampire in our coven regularly broke the treaty on daily basis. I needed Micah more than I needed oxygen- well technically I don’t need oxygen so I guess blood- I needed Micah more than I needed blood right now.

Michael calmly tried to pacify my fury, taking a single step towards me he said,

“I understand why you hate me right now but you need to take a deep breath and-”

“Don’t patronize me Michael.”  I cut across him my fingers raking through my hair.

My whole body was pumping with adrenaline and I needed to vent somehow, either screaming the place down or attacking the dry wall. But right now I couldn’t be here with him. Throwing my arms up into the air I said,

“I need some air.”

Michael moved in an unexpected blur and blocked the door out of the apartment. He thought I was going to run and he knew if I ran he would not be able to catch me. Fighting to control my temper I tried to explain,

“I’m not going to run, I just need some air.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Michael, please, I’m suffocating here.”

“I know, I can feel your pain as if it was my own-”

“You know nothing about my feelings!” I yelled.

Michael flinched, I saw the pain flicker across his eyes but my own selfish misery cut in so deep into my heart I couldn’t think of anything else. Michael took another step forward.

“I am your mate, your husband-”

“Michael, you said it yourself. You can be anything I want so long as I don’t send you away.”

“Lorna I love you. I’m trying to protect you!”

“From Micah? I trust Micah more than I trust you and every other blasted vampire I’ve ever met.”

Tears were now streaming down my eyes, my voice felt heavy and sore from yelling so much. Michael inhaled deeply and announced.

“Lorna, I’m sorry.”

“It’s too god damn late now! He’s gone!”

Michael shook his head,

“No, not for that. For this.”

Michael lunged forward with supernatural speed his arms caught me crushing me against his chest. For a moment I thought he would kiss me or throw me over his shoulder or tie me up. But he didn’t. Fingers swept over my neck as he pushed aside my hair and I felt his tongue swirling against my neck finding the pulse. I tensed- he was going to bite me. I struggled but it was in vain, like a boa constrictor, Michael’s arms tightened with each attempt to break free. Finally I gave in and stayed very still. Michael’s teeth scraped over my pulse then sank in opening the vein.

Hopelessness washed over me and I closed my eyes and felt Michael sucking the life out of me. He drank deeply because he wanted to weaken me. He wanted to make sure I wasn’t strong enough to elude him. After he had finished with me Michael let go and I fell to the floor not even strong enough to stand. I tried to crawl away from Michael but he caught me and picked me up like a ragdoll. Pressing a kiss against my forehead he muttered an apology and took me out into the car.

The lights of passing cars, streets, signs and lampposts all blurred into one another as we drove but to the hotel. Occasionally I felt the pressure of Michael’s arm around my shoulders or his fingers caressing my neck but most the time I felt like I was on some sort of bad high. Nothing made sense. Carrying me in the back way I remember closing my eyes and then hearing yelling. Francesca and Magda were there staring down at me with fearful eyes. I didn’t understand what they were saying but Francesca snatched me out of Michael’s arms and tore down the corridor.

For a while the world went black but then it came back into focus when I felt the blood filling my stomach. Magda’s open wrist was pressed against my lips, Francesca cradled my head tenderly stroking my hair. I watched her mouth the words,

“My poor baby.”

Michael wasn’t far. I couldn’t see him but I could feel him. Constantly there, watching me. Feeling stronger I stopped drinking from Magda’s wrist and pulled away wiping my mouth. Magda rubbed her wrist and within a few seconds the wound had healed. Blinking but the tears as I remembered what had happened, I buried my face into my hands unable to stop myself from breaking down.

I heard Francesca say,

“I’m so sorry. This is the hardest part of being a vampire.”

Opening my eyes I looked up and met her large brown eyes full of sorrow and grief. Dabbing my tears away with a handkerchief she said,

“The pain passes it always does.”

“I miss my real family.” I cried.

“All vampires miss their human families, Lorna. Your feelings are only natural.” Magda said.

“But-but,” I choked, “I could still see mine.”

“They wouldn’t understand darling. You’ve been dead to them for five years.” Magda replied.

Francesca helped me sit up slowly and propped cushions behind my back. Turning to Magda she said,

“She needs to rest and regenerate.”

Magda nodded and told me to sleep. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep heavy sleep.

The hunger clawed inside my belly as so much fresh meat passed my tiny blacked out cell. I could see nothing but I could hear everything and smell everyone. A woman walked by chatting idly with a colleague the smell of her perfume was overpowering. So many different people walked past my cell everyday but I remembered each of their scents. That one always wore jasmine perfume. I loved the smell of jasmine although I could not remember where from. All my memories were blank. There was nothing. All I had inside me was the hunger. They hadn’t fed us for a week. They wanted to keep us weak because they knew the cells would not hold us for long if we were at full strength. There had been too many accidents with our kind. Feeling dizzy I lay down on the ground and closed my eyes. I needed to preserve energy by lying dormant otherwise I would go berserk like the others did. Closing my eyes I drifted asleep but then a group of footsteps and the scent of unfamiliar people startled me from my nap. Their pulses were hammering in their veins like loud noisy drums as adrenaline pumped through their systems. There was six of them and they definitely weren’t  lab workers. They didn’t have that clinical bio-hazard suit smell about them. I listened carefully to their chatter.

“Stop complaining Lisa!” one snapped, “You shouldn’t have joined an animal activist core if you didn’t want to get your hands dirty. Besides Micah knows what he is doing.”

“Those do not look like bunny cages Nicholas.” Lisa snapped back outside our cells.

“Don’t worry I’ve seen this a million times in animal labs.” Nicholas replied confidently.

My caged brothers either side of me were stirring. The sound of a human heart pumping delicious blood had woken them from their sleep. The strangers were interfering with cell’s locking mechanisms. The girl Lisa was still not convinced,

“This is a mistake, have you seen the warning signs on the doors. What the hell are they keeping behind there?”

“Animals, Lisa! Animals that we are going to free before the scientists use them for horrible tests and experiments.”

“But look at the signs-”

“I doubt we are going to find a lion behind these doors. You need to relax. I’ve seen this a hundred times before. We just open the lock and puppies will come running out.”

The first set of locks were undone triggering the alarm upstairs. The humans couldn’t hear it but it was too late for them. Unauthorized access meant that the entire floor automatically sealed itself. The second lock opened, only one more lock to go. I was so hungry.

“We should open the cell doors altogether.” A new voice chipped in.

“Great idea, Lisa take this door.” Nicholas said then taking my door. His heart beat was hammering in my ears. I was so hungry I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.

“One, two-” Nicholas paused then yelled, “Three.”

The door opened to blinding light then the noise of screaming. The smell of blood filled the air. They didn’t stand a chance against four starving vampires. We ate them and we didn’t even know it. When the doors opened it was just a red haze. Nicholas lay in my arms pale and lifeless. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I was a monster. All six of them lay lifeless on the ground, not a single drop of blood wasted. They came to free us and we had killed them all. At the top of the corridor through the sealed glass door I saw a man watching us. I moved closer. The ground beneath my feet changed and soft green grass cushioned my every step. What happened back there? That wasn’t me. I would remember if that was me. I called out to Micah from across the meadow.

 It was our first anniversary and I had surprised him with a picnic. Micah stayed completely still not moving an inch. I called to him again, but he didn’t move. Frustrated I got up and walked towards him and found he was stood behind a wall of glass. Reaching out I pressed my palms against the glass screen. The meadow from our anniversary had gone and I was now in that corridor again. I tried to open the door but it wouldn’t budge. Micah didn’t seem to care, he was transfixed on something happening behind me. I turned slowly and saw the bodies being drained by Michael, Gabriel, Uriel and one other vampire I didn’t recognise. Michael tore away from his victim and looked up at me blood running down his face. I turned to Micah and hammered on the glass screen,

“Let me out!” I screamed.

Micah did nothing. He stood silently looking passed me at the vampire feeding frenzy. Cold icy fingers wrapped around my waist pulling me closer. Michael’s hot breathe against my skin and the sensation of his teeth scraping against my neck. I struggled but he pulled me closer. I tried to break free but he was so much stronger. My arms jerked and my legs kicked until eventually-

BANG.

I had fallen out of bed but I hadn’t hit the floor. Michael’s arms were wrapped around me tightly as I lay on top of him. He looked sleepily up at me and said,

“Ow.”

I closed my eyes for a moment and told myself, it was just a bad dream. Michael reached up and touched my cheek tenderly,

“Baby, did you have a bad dream, would you like me to kiss all your fears away.”

I can’t lie, his caress sent electricity shooting across my skin but I was so mad at him for last night all I could think of was venting somehow.

“You bastard! You took him away from me!” I thumped his chest.

Michael’s eye went hollow and sad. Furious I rolled off of him and stood up.

“You have me forever Michael! I just wanted to see Micah for a few lousy minutes!”

Michael stood up trying to pacify me,

“Calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down! You have a lot to answer for. Why the hell did you bite me- AGAIN!”

“I thought you were going to run away from me!”

“Damn right I was! You took my only real friend away from me and I hate you! I will never forgive you for that Michael!”

Michael grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look him square in the eyes.

“Yeah I took him away from you but I was trying to protect you.” He said.

“From what!” I snapped, Micah wouldn’t hurt a fly.

“Micah isn’t that good a person Lorna. He’s not the teenager you knew ten years ago.”

Bitterness rose up inside me, Michael did not know the first thing about Micah. This was some sort of jealous macho play by Michael because he couldn’t stand the thought of any competition. Furious I twisted out of Michael’s hold and grabbed my clothes and went straight to the bathroom.

Michael had some nerve inferring in my business. The only reason I was trying to contact Micah was to save Michael’s sorry ass. Part of me wanted to march straight to Duncan’s office just to scare Michael into thinking I had chosen the road of a solitary vampire. I brushed my teeth and put on some jeans and a top and went out into the longue. Magda, Francesca and Michael were all sat on the chairs around the coffee table looking up at me. Magda pointed to an empty chair opposite them,

“Lorna, please sit down we want to talk to you.”

This reminded me of one those dreaded meetings with the parents to discuss undesirable  bad manners or going past curfew. I wasn’t playing ball tonight. I didn’t want to sit round with my vampire family and discuss my feelings and or weird vampire rules. Honestly, I wanted to be left alone. Seeing Micah last night reminded me of the stuff these guys had taken away from me like my family, freedom, love, life, ability to get a suntan.

“I can’t stay here.” I said sharpish, “I need to go out and get some air.”

Michael stood up instantly volunteering, “I’ll come with you.” He was wearing that suit again.

“No, I need some alone time otherwise I’m going to go insane.” I said.

Magda said tactlessly, “You sound really mad darling, I hate to see you so distressed.”

“Well, I am a little pissed off considering recent events.” I said.

Inside me there was a little pressure gauge that’s dial was teetering on overload. If they kept pushing me I was going to snap, I could really feel myself struggling to keep my emotions from exploding. I walked into my room and picked up a jacket. When I turned Magda was in the doorway with an expression that spoke- I want to understand you and I want to help you. The meaning was sweet but I was like a bear with a sore head. I didn’t really want to work out my issues in a group talk. I wanted to find a dark little corner of woe and sulk.

“Please darling, come and sit with us,” she said, “Have some juice.” Offering a toddler cup of blood she smiled at me.

Pushing past I muttered, “I don’t want to eat.” Which was a lie, there was a thirst in the back of my throat that begged for me to take the offered cup and gulp its contents down. The scent of the blood had made my fangs protract down which irritated me even more. The front door was blocked my Francesca who also had that sweet sympathetic  saccharin expression on her face.

“Please Lorna, we want to try and help you.” She said.

Magda appeared at her side, “We want to help you Lorna.”

“We can have a nice sit down and you can have some juice.”

“Lorna, baby, listen to your parents.”

Their voices rattled around my head like spirits in a haunted house. The pressure was building and I couldn’t stop it, Magda shoved the cup of blood in my face one more time and I snapped. Slapping the blood out of her hand it hit the wall and carpet creating a mess.

“I don’t want your help! Don’t you get it! You have already done enough fucking damage. You tore me out my loving family and dragged me into this undead freak circus and destroyed my life! I hate all of you!”

Magda and Francesca were pale their eyes were glassy with tears. Michael hadn’t moved from his spot. Trembling with rage I pushed past them out into the hallway screaming,

“Leave me alone!” and slammed the door.

Rationality and the anger that dwells inside me separated and my usual rational self disappeared with in me unleashing all the pent up anger and rage which wildly explodes into verbal stream of hateful words. When all the fury has subsided and rational thought slowly creeps back I realised that there were things that I had said that couldn’t be unsaid. When the hate left me I truly felt ashamed of myself and the hurtful words I had said to Magda and Francesca. They had stood there quietly as I had yelled at them and they never attempted to defend themselves. I ran along the corridor in floods of tears full of a million emotions until BAM. Hands steadied me and I stepped back. I had run into a tall muscular blonde who was looking down at my red swollen eyes clearly confused on what to say to an emotional female. He glanced to his right looking at a short lanky brown haired guy wearing black jean and black hoodie.

“Sheldon, say something.” The blonde said to his friend.

“Um-hi.” Sheldon replied gingerly lifting his hand to do a short wave.

This wasn’t a good time to be making friends. I wanted to push past and apoligized but then something odd happened. I noticed Sheldon’s hoodie looked strangely disfigured like he was smuggling something strange underneath it. I pointed at his hoodie and Sheldon quickly turned to try and rearrange the lump but it suddenly all slipped out from under his hoodie spilling across the floor. Computer components scattered the floor and Sheldon scrambled down on all fours trying to pick them up. I reached down and picked up one piece and examined between my fingers, it was part of a laptop- it was Emma’s laptop, the one Michael had smashed.

“How did you get this?” I asked them.