I hope that you burn...
~•~
~Trigger Warnings - Anxiety Attacks and mention of suicide~

I woke up to my roommate, Virgil, sitting up in his bed, reading a book from the bookshelf, giant black headphones over his ears connected to a small, cheap phone. This was the first time I had gotten a really good look at him, now that the sun was slowly waking from its slumber. He had dark circles under his eyes, which worried me tremendously, I would have to ask him about that later. He wore a black jacket that was lazily zipped up to cover his bare chest, hood blocking the outside world from most of his face. But from what I could see that wasn't completely covered by his hoodie, was his skin which was deadly pale and gave me vampire vibes with many freckles covering his nose and some of his cheeks. His hair was swept to the right side of his face carelessly, and his eyes were slightly red and puffy from last night, but otherwise beautiful, a hazel with flecks of gold and green color mixed into the equation.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer Princy," I blushed, only realizing now that he had caught me studying him. "I'd rather not!" I shoot back. He chuckles softly, pushing his headphones from his ears to his neck. His voice does funny things to my heart. "Your face says otherwise." I feel heat rising up to my face. "S-shut up you emo nightmare," Virgil looks at me strangely before cracking up with laughter.

"Out of all the comebacks you could have come up with, you call me an emo nightmare?"

"Well I'm not wrong am I?" I say, barely holding back the smile that was determined to sneak its way to my lips. He shrugged, going back to his book. I make my way over to his bed. "Whatcha reading?" I ask, flopping onto the medium sized bed, looking over at the book. Virgil rolled his eyes at me.

"If you must know, it's a book my dad wrote to me," He says, eyes still glued to the book. I smile. At least he had something to remember him by. My parents hadn't left me anything but a red sash that I wore around my left shoulder. I never take it off, as it makes me feel closer to them in a weird way.

"So why are you up so early?" I ask, slowly easing into the question for why Virgil had such bad bags under his eyes. "Oh Princy, I was up since about three," Virgil says smoothly, those beautiful eyes still glazing over the book he was reading. "And why were you up so late?" I ask. "No reason, mom." He shoots back. I stare into his eyes. It was a trick I learned from my dad, it usually makes the other person tell you what you want to know.

"Fine. I have insomnia. I have night terrors and nightmares. Hell, some nights I can't even fall asleep due to fear that some nightmare fuel creature will haunt me," He shudders at the memories that  are more than likely flooding into his head right now, looking at anything but me. I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Geez Virge, that sounds horrible-"

"It is."

"I know it is. I had them for a while after my parents died," I admit, still trying to catch his eyes. Virgil fell silent. "Really?" I nod. He whistles in shock, finally looking at me. "I thought I was the only one..." He says. "Welp apparently not," I joke. He smirks, his eyes shimmering in the early morning sun.

Virgil puts the book down into the small bookshelf made in the bedside table. "So... I know this is a weird question, but how old are you?" Virgil asks me, a reasonable question, I had been silently reminding myself to ask him the exact same question for some time.

"I'm thirteen, how about you?" Virgil grumbles under his breath. "I'm twelve." He says unhappily. "Hah! I'm older than you!"

"That means you'll die faster than me-"

"That sounds like a personal problem Virge!" I say, smiling cheekily at him, our faces now a few inches away from each other. Virgil opened his mouth to argue, but was cut off by the sound of the morning bell to signal everyone to wake up.

"What the devil was that??!" Virgil asks, hand clutching his heart in fear. "It's the morning bell, I know, it's terrifying isn't it?" I tease. He playfully punches my shoulder. "Shuddup."

"Well, I don't know about you, but ima go take a shower, I'll be back soon." Virgil rolled his eyes, and slowly left his bed as soon as I got into the bathroom.
~•~

Roman was in the bathroom, and it was my turn to get out of bed. I had already unpacked everything last night when Princy was asleep, so all of my clothing was stored in the closet that the two of us now share. It was located next to the bathroom door, with drawers that held whatever couldn't be hung up.

I picked out the pair of clothes for today, and readied myself for a well deserved shower. Now, I've never had a shower before. I have had multiple baths, most of them were ice cold, but I managed. So to say the least this was going to be a challenge, as I have heard that they're hard to operate at times.

When Roman finally got out of the now steamy bathroom, I walk in, locking the door behind me. I undress before remembering a very important detail as I step into the slightly set shower. I had completely forgotten to ask how to operate literally anything in this complicated hell, sent specially to me from the devil himself. I was in the shower, and I had no idea how to work this system. "Uhh, Roman???" I call out, mentally cursing my idiotic self. "Yes?"

"Um how do I work this???" I hear him faintly laugh through the door. "Put a towel around you I'm coming in," He says. I quickly manage to wrap the stainless white cloth around my torso, and unlock the door before the doorknob turns.

"Sorry! I completely forgot to show you how this works!" He apologizes, walking in the bathroom with only snow white pants on. "No, it was my fault, I completely forgot to ask," I say, taking the blame. I look at his well toned chest, suddenly feeling very self-conscious of my pale, skinny one that exposed an outline of my ribcage. I wrap my arms around my chest, feeling slightly exposed.

"I guess we're even," He says, proceeding to walk to the shower, showing me go two turn it on, how to make it hot, and vice versa. It was a lot to comprehend, but I didn't want to waste any more of his time that he would never get back.

"You got all that?" He asks, pulling me way from my overwhelming thoughts. His chocolate colored eyes bore right into my chestnut ones. I gave him a thumbs up, and he smiles brightly at me before walking out.

Anxious thoughts began to wash over me like a powerful wave, captivating me in its mysterious deep blue hell as I was pulled under. Was he judging me?? He probably thinks I'm an idiot... oh God... I screwed everything up again didn't I? I miss dad... He would have known what to do... Heh... He's probably dead all because of me.. I didn't do a good job at faking it... If only I had-

"Hey Virge, you ok? I haven't heard any running water and I'm getting a bit worried," Romans voice calling from the bedroom. "Y-yeah, just thinking..." I curse myself for stuttering. "Ok! If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask!" He says, and I cringe at his kindness. I knew it was forced. I knew he was just pretending. I knew he was probably told to be nice to me beforehand.

When I manage to get the shower started, I immediately break down in tears, the sound of the water from the showerhead splashing onto the shower floor covering up my ugly sobs. I got this horrible feeling in my stomach, like someone was stabbing me. My tears were like a river streaming down my very pale cheeks.

I know it's bad to get too attached. I know he's gonna be taken away from me. Just like dad was. My breathing hitches at the thought of dad, the pain in my chest getting worse. God, I missed him so damn much. I've started hyperventilating at this point, letting the warm water wash over my numb body.

I should've been a better son. I should've fought the Pais. I should've... Should've... Done better. I've failed and everyone knows it.

I collapsed on the mat next to the shower once I turned off the soothing warm water that had no help whatsoever for the mental war going on inside my head. I was done with my pity party. I was numb. I just wanted to die. I wanted a blade. Something to end my pain. Even for a brief moment. No one would even care if I killed myself. It would be one less mouth to feed. Roman would enjoy his room all to himself, no more of annoying ol me to ruin his fun.

I look down at my scars on my forearm and immediately remember my promise to my dad. I couldn't break his promise. Even if he was dead, I couldn't do that to his spirit. So I got up, whipped the tears from my eyes, and put my regular black hoodie on with skinny black jeans.

When I looked in the mirror, I saw two bloodshot eyes staring right back at me. What do I do about this? I ruffle my hair, making sure it covered most of my left eye, then proceeded to pull the hood over my head, hoping that would be enough to hide my tear streaked face well enough. That's about as good as we're gonna get for now...

I walk out of the restroom dressed in a dark purple shirt with my jacket laying carelessly on top of it with just my ripped black jeans to top it off, immediately seeing Roman on his bed sketching something, stopping when he saw me.

"Whatcha drawing princy?" I ask, a smug smirk on my face. He laughs nervously before closing it. "Wouldn't you like to know panic! At the everywhere?" I barely hold back my laughter. He shakes his head before putting the sketchbook back where he got it from.

As he gets up I get to see his outfit for the day which consisted of a red sash around his left shoulder with a white leather jacket with yellow and red streaks on the collar and down the sides of it, topped off with a fancy written red R with a golden crown behind it on the right side of his chest. He wore white pants to top the look off, his wavy ombre brownish red hair nicely swept to the side (for the most part).

"Well I'm ready to go whenever you are my chemically imbalanced romance," He says, winking at me slyly. I feel my cheeks turn a light shade of pink. "Whatever you say Sir-sings-a lot," I retort. "Hah, jokes on you, I actually like that nickname and am now going to use it more often," he smirks, sticking out his tongue at me, which I oh so gladly do in return.

"So I'm gonna give you the basic rundown of today," Roman says as we exit the spacious room, and I nod, looking at him to signal him to continue. "First on the agenda is to give you some food cause, no offence, you look like only skins and bones at the moment." I chuckle darkly. I couldn't have said anything better myself. See, in the place I came from, we didn't just "get food" just for looking cute. We had to earn it. Most of the time we stuck to trading, cause even though it was a relatively fast process, it took a lot to get even one trader interested in the product you had.

My weight has always been something that I struggle with. It doesn't make me feel good when all I can see when I lift my shirt is ribs. It doesn't make me feel good when I can wrap my entire hand around my small forearm. It doesn't make me feel good when people compare themselves to me. Not that I have any room to complain, many people have it worse than me.

"Next were gonna meet up with some friends of mine to show you where all the classes are located. I don't know your schedule, since Eliza will sort that out with you tomorrow because she didn't want to overwhelm you." He explains as we walk down the stairs and into the cafeteria (as I was informed it was called).

I had started to figit with my hoodie strings with anxiety slowly building its way up in my chest after we sat down in the large space of a room with food on our trays. It was very fancy at this orphanage, with cool toned painted walls, giving off a soothing vibe. The tables and chairs were spread out across the nicely tiled floor, a giant cool pink chandelier hanging above them, making me slightly anxious as the thought of it falling came into my head.

Another thing that made me nervous was the amount of chairs there were in this one space, which gave me a worrying thought as to just how many kids attended this place.

"Hey, it's gonna be ok Virge. I know it's a lot to take in at the moment, but all the kids are super nice here, and respect you if your more on the introverted side." He says as if he read my mind, picking up his fork that was covered in scrambled eggs and lifting it to his mouth.

"So... Just how many friends do you have here Princy?" I ask, head glued to my plate that contained a bit of salted scrambled eggs with a piece of jammed toast. "Oh, I'm friends with almost everyone here! But I'm only introducing you to two of my closest one's." This eases my anxiety a bit to know I would only be dealing with two people and not a hundred like I was expecting.

I pick up a piece of egg with my fork, and immediately my mouth is flooded with a perfect combination of salt, pepper, and egg mixed in one. It was the best thing I've ever tasted, but was nothing compared to the bread, which was fresh out of the oven and rich in flavor, topped off with the best tasting jam I have ever tasted in all 12 years of my short life.

"So.. Do you have any questions about anything? It would be smart to ask now instead of later as we probably won't have as much time." Roman asks me.

"Yeah, a few. So one, why is Eliza so rich??! I mean, most aren't as fancy as this one, or near as good."

"And that's part of the reason that the Pais bring kids here instead of to another one. Believe it or not, the Pais do want us to be successful-"

"Yeah but only for our kingdoms reputation."

"True, but-"

"There aren't no buts in this. We're just puppets for the superior court to use." The superior court is made of two people, one being our king, King Thomas II, and his first advisor. No one really knows his true name, but he goes by Advisor Damien.

Many years ago, in the 'Glory Days' as the people call it, this kingdom was a place where everyone strived to be in, and that was because of King Thomas I. He was by far the best king Tai has ever had, but died due to food poisoning years ago. No one really knows who poisoned the food, but there are many theories speculating that King Thomas II, his son obviously, is the one who did it to gain control.

King Thomas II is, in my opinion, a spoiled idiot who doesn't know what the hell he's doing half the time, even at the age of 78! And his advisor isn't doing much help in guidance either. He just makes random amendments and the king just passes it without batting a single eye.

Half of Damiens face is burned off, due to being in a house fire that cost him his entire family. He was the only one who made it out alive in that house. He messes with the dark arts, and has made a potion that makes him immortal, and that's all that anyone knows about him, as he lives a very secluded life.

"Alright, you win. So back to your question, Eliza has two sisters who you might have heard of, Queen Angelica and Queen Peggy. Rulers of the kingdom of Ski. I'm honestly surprised you didn't know any of this Virge! It's all pretty well known history."

"Well I'm sorry we don't have many free history books just lying around back home Princy." I say, and as he rolls his eyes, I give him the hand signal to continue.

"Anyways, they split the kingdom in two halves, each sister ruling one half. They offered Eliza a share as well, but she declined their offer as she has always wanted to run an Orphanage after her husband died, who was an orphan himself. They respected her decision, and agreed that they would pay to build it for her, she would just have to decide where she would like to have it. Luckily enough, she saw that Tai was having trouble with, well, everything heh. So she met with the king and, with a lot of disagreements, he finally agreed, and the rest is history!"

By the time he was done with telling the story, both of us were finished with breakfast, but I still wasn't ready to leave... To meet these so called friends... To make them leave their important classes just to see me and the mess that I am, cause I don't want them to look at it... But before I can worry any further, I feel Romans hand gently grabbing mine, and giving it a small squeeze.

I slowly look up from my empty plate to see his comforting coco eyes meeting mine. "We don't have to do this right this second, we can wait a couple more minutes." He says, but I'm already standing up, ready to face whatever was coming for me.

"No no no, I'm ready to meet these friends. I'm ready Princy." And with that, he gives me a bright, cheerful smile that could light up my day on my darkest one. "Great!" He takes my hand, leading me into the unknown.

~•~•~

~A/N~
I'm so sorry this took me so long!!! My life's been kinda crazy right now, so I hope you can all forgive me for the slow updates! Anyways, I hope you all liked the rather long chapter lol, and I know it's a little confusing at parts, so if you have any questions about the story, please don't be scared to ask, and I'll do my best to reply to most of you!
And on that note, take it easy guys, girls, and nonbinary pals, peace out!!! ❤

Word Count; 3,294