"Why are you shivering, what's wrong with you?" Samuel asked even as he held me tightly in his embrace. The colors around him were darkening to a virescent shade as the previous hues of reds tumbled and scattered as if in the vicinity of invisible winds. Worry? I cuddled closer to him, the darkness around Alessandro was scaring me. How ironic!

"Nothing," I said. What was there to say? Your second in command is dark? I didn't even know what that meant.

"Need help?" a female vampire said. Her voice was harsh. She was holding something flat and long in her hand. Maybe a tray? Samuel had said they were bringing me some food. But, it was hard to decipher the edges of the object, the black was washing everything in absolute nothingness. When the others joined Alessandro one by one, blocking the exit, I had a hard time breathing. The darkness was suffocating me. This was not just a color, it was a void pulling you to its center like a vortex. The air felt chilly, frigid. The temperature had dropped a few degrees. Samuel seemed unfazed. Was it just me? I staggered on my feet, to be straightened by the firm hold of Samuel.

"Leave," Samuel ordered. The greens over his head and body turned into a darker shade, spots of greys catapulted in the air to be sucked in and drowned in their midst. He was getting irritated, but the worry was still the main emotion. Based on the emerging colors of grey, I thought his order was meant for me. I braced myself for the challenge. Took a step forward, I could do this, walk past them. They couldn't hurt me, not in front of Samuel. But, a hand grabbed me by the elbow. I recognized its owner. The foot I'd lifted stayed up in the air, unable to land.

"Not, you, Di," Samuel said. The greys exploded in the air like fireworks. I didn't care if they exploded in his head. Ass! I was the aggrieved one here. The only one who could see these creatures. The only who couldn't breathe because of them. The one chilled to her bones because of them.

When I saw the blackness ebb away, the warmth seep back into my body, I knew the order was intended for the vampires. Soon, the dark shadows were replaced by a myriad of colors: the pink of the room was back, there was an infusion of green tinted with lighter greys, compliments of Samuel, onto which a sickly brownish yellow was added, a color resembling the dirty water in a gutter. I assumed that was thanks to me. I couldn't help it, I was scared.

Though I'd been blind all my life, I felt like I was slowly given access to a wisdom that didn't belong to me. I didn't know how, but now I knew the difference between the dark blues of the midwinter night versus the transparent blues of the lagoon, the deepest green of the midsummer leaves versus the brighter dewy greens of the grass after the rain washed it anew. I knew about the sulfur yellows, autumn oranges, maroon reds, emerald greens, scarlets, and golds. I knew all this even if I'd never seen them before. And, just like that, I knew that the pitch black I had just seen was that of a starless night, of a world long deserted by the moon and the sun. It was death. Despair. It was hopelessness. It was soullessness. It was frigid cold. It was all that and more. And, I wanted to be as far away from it as possible.

"C'mon, Diana. Back to your room." A slap on my butt urged me forward. What? How dared he? "This room belongs to a newly mated couple and you're trespassing."

Sarcasm. How nice! He had no compassion in his bones. Hoping there was no dark vampire lurking in the corners, I left the room. Hurried strides took me to my room. Had they defiled it? I saw the familiarity of the colors that belonged to me. They had not entered inside. There was no evidence of a lingering blackness.

Wrong. It took me only a few seconds to change my opinion. There was something. I could feel it. It was breathing. Waiting. Rejoicing. The vibes were strong on the floor. I knelt down. Started crawling. I would get the vile creature out. Was it a vampire? Or maybe a bug? I was losing my mind.

"Geez, Di? What's happening to you?" Samuel snapped. I didn't need to turn around to know that the greyscale had long taken over the greens. I would be looking at a monochrome bundle of irritation.

"If you are looking for your cane, it's right here where I put it."

My cane?

I saw him pass me by and head to the bed which was now a few steps away from me. Wow, I'd basically raced on my knees. Who knew? The colors preceded Samuel at every step. I heard him curse. "Where is it? Damn it! I'd put it right here, next to the bed."

"Can't believe the things I'm doing," he muttered. He bent his huge body, trying to see underneath the bed. "Damn, somehow it's rolled underneath it." He flattened his body on the floor. And, though I couldn't see the details, I assumed he was stretching his arm. Well, it was time for the truth. Did the bed house spiders, trash, and dirt or was it pristine clean underneath it? I prayed for the latter. He was teetering on the edge of a rage. In either case, he was going to get mad. When the hand came out, I hoped he had not pulled out some cobwebs.

I was still on my knees when I saw it. Its color. The shock kept me frozen.

"I don't want it," I said.

"You sent me back to the bottom of that deathly pit just to get this." His aura was turning from grey to black. The black clouds sprawling around Samuel carried real emotions, with thick streaks of reds and silvers splitting it. I heard the anger in his tone crack in the air like the rolling boom of thunder. He was angry, very angry. Yet, I was not afraid. There was no mistaking him as one of the Soulless Ones.

It was just too bad that he still remembered that episode.

"I could have died. Yet, I brought it to you. Why? Because you insisted. You said it was important. You shed tears over it!" The shrill loud thunders of his anger pierced the air. "And, then when I found you outside running from whatever... all you could think about was your stupid cane. And, let me get this right...." His pause chilled me more than the darkness. This wasn't going very well. "Now you don't want it? Is that right?"

I kneaded my hands like I was working a hard dough. How did one answer this question? I couldn't explain what I didn't know. "Uhm... yes, I got over it. You were right. It was a bad habit."

He left the room, taking the cane with him. I heard him break the cane into pieces outside the door. Then he came back and placed the tray on the bed. The very tray one of the Soulless had carried. No way, was I having any of that.

"Eat up," he said in a low tone. He was barely holding it.

Damn, he wasn't going to like my answer.

"I'm not hungry," I said.

I saw him come to me in a haze.

He held my shoulders in a vice. "Stop acting like a child. And, decide what you want, Di." He leaned forward as if he'd kiss me. His breath warmed my face. My heart stopped for a few seconds in anticipation. I sucked in a breath, held it, waiting. His lips were so close. I could almost feel the kiss. Taste it. It never came. Instead, the lips wandered on my neck with the touch of soft brushes. He licked the wildly throbbing pulse at the base of my throat. His tongue skimmed over and over it leaving a trail of sizzling embers along its path. I was burning. What a shock but I wanted him to bite me. Drink my blood. The reds of passion flew over us like blotted vivid inks. The sickness was upon me. It was probably the mating starvation Samuel had warned me about. It was all true. I couldn't control it. I cradled his head and pressed myself towards him.

He drew back and whispered, "I will not bite you, not unless you say it. I won't break my promise." His thumb drew exotic circles on my skin.

"Ask me." His voice washed over me. I tilted towards him. He stood immobile.

Just do it, damn it! I couldn't think, I craved.

But, pride blocked my words. I wanted him to bite me. I wanted him to give me the pleasure. All without me asking for it. In the end, silence was all I could give him. My damned silence.

"I see," he said and walked away. Just like that. I'd learned never to ask. Never to beg. As a young blind girl left on her own, I'd relied on myself. It was not a habit to be broken on impulse.

Pride had just closed the heavy door to my face. My heart felt heavy.

Lying in bed, I was miserable. I wondered, what if I bit him instead? After all, I hadn't made any promises. And, my thirst was back with all its force. I got up. I would bite Samuel. 

As always, thanks for reading

Alena