Chapter 12: To Tell or Not to Tell

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Johnny fell asleep before the movie was half over, sagging onto Clementine's shoulder. He'd tried mightily to stay awake, but it had been long day for him.

Clementine turned her head to smell his incredible hair, letting it tickle her face.

He must be exhausted.

Clementine tried to rise, thinking she should leave, but John stopped her. "No, I'm awake, I'm awake," he muttered, lifting his head with a jerk. "Sorry."

After a few minutes, John pulled her across his front and stretched out his long legs on the sofa so she was lying in front of him as they faced the TV. He enfolded her in his arms and nestled his head familiarly into the dip between her head and her neck. "Mm, this is so nice," he murmured. He could feel the softness of her body through the fabric of her dress, and longed to put his hands all over her.

Down, John, there would be plenty of time for that.

Clementine was in heaven. The feel of his body at her back, warm and firm, and his arms around her, and the knowledge that he wanted this, was making it hard for her to even watch the movie.

John angled his head forward and pressed a sleepy kiss to her temple, and she squeezed his hand in response.

After a few minutes, she could hear his gentle, sleeping breaths in her ear, and once again contemplated leaving. However, John's arms around her were firm in their grasp, and she didn't want to wake him up again, so she lay there, in his arms, and watched the rest of the movie. The dinner, the wine, the kiss, all did their work on her, and she might even have drifted off herself for a few minutes.

When the movie ended, she made a monumental effort and rose to a sitting position. She looked at John, who was in deep sleep, looking much younger than his 25 years. His face was perfect, unlined and unmarked, remarkable eyes hidden by smooth eyelids and gorgeous, curly lashes. His mouth was a work of art, lips a deep red and shaped like a cupid's bow.

She felt bad to wake him, but didn't think he'd want to spend the night sleeping on the couch. "John. Johnny? Movie's over, I'm going home, okay?"

"What?" Again, John came awake immediately. "Oh, bollocks, I fell asleep. I'm so sorry."

"Please, you're obviously so tired, you need to get to bed. What's your call time tomorrow?"

John made a loud exhalation. "Seven AM." He rose to a sitting position and put his arms around Clementine. "Sleeping on the sofa with you was absolutely divine. You're as soft and warm as a blanket."

"I'll take that, I guess," Clem responded with a laugh. She rose, and John rose as well, stretching and yawning, making himself even longer with this action.

He walked with her to the door and kissed her before he opened it, his hand on the side of her face, palm and thumb following the angle of her jaw. He moaned into the kiss, a small sound that made Clementine's toes tingle. She went up on tiptoe to make it last longer.

"Good night, darling, and thanks for coming."

He opened the door and walked her to her car, clasping her hand loosely. "Text me when you get home so I know you made it safely," he requested with a smile.

Clementine nodded and turned her car toward the highway. She looked in the rearview mirror and saw him standing in his driveway, one hand in his pocket, the other raised in a wave.

John turned and went back in his house, dropping his clothes in the hamper and crawling into bed in just his boxer briefs. His head was filled with snapshots of Clementine, from when he first encountered her, sitting in a pool of light from the lamp, legs tucked under her, reading, to her vivacious face at dinner, laughing, to how serious she looked just before he kissed her in he moonlight, to her glowing face as she waved good bye from her car.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd fallen so hard, so fast for someone. She was glorious. He could imagine her driving home, windows down, sea breeze blowing through her hair as she sang along with the radio.

He managed to stay awake until she texted him saying she'd arrived home, drowsing in bed and thinking how happy he was.

John fell asleep with a smile on his face.

*

Clementine quietly let herself into the house, trying no wake her mother. It was after 1 AM, but she knew Kim would be waiting to hear all about "D-day."

She got into her sleep shirt and into bed before texting her friend.

"I'm home."

"Shrieking over here! So, how was it? Was it a date? Are you still a virgin?"

"OMG, did I accidentally text Alan?"

"Shut up! Spill your guts."

"He kissed me."

"O. M. G. I think I just died. Are you still alive?"

"I'm fine lol."

"How was it? The kiss, I mean."

"It was nice. It was outside, on his deck."

"So I hope we're done with the whole 'he just wants to be friends' crap."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"You going to tell Hy?"

"IDK. Should I? Or maybe he should do it?"

"This is serious, she might hate you after."

"IKR? And this could be over next week, why make her feel bad for nothing?"

"On the other hand, you two could end up married, ever think of that?"

"STFU."

"I'm just saying, you don't know what's going to happen. If you wait too long, she's going to be like 'why did you wait so long to tell me,' you know?"

Clem stared at her friend's words on the screen. "Heavy sighing going on over here."

"I'm sorry, girlfriend."

"I don't think I need to tell her yet. Like I said, this one date could be the end of things. He's super busy, all the time, who knows how much time he'll have for me?" But even to herself, Clem had to admit that tonight had felt like a beginning, not an end.

"Can you ask John what he wants to do? If he doesn't want to tell her, then ask him why."

"I could, but I don't even know when I'm going to see him again. We didn't make plans."

"So wait until you see him again, then ask. If you don't see him again, which is v v doubtful, then problem solved, right?"

"Right. That's what I'll do."

"Okay. Night."

"Night."

Clementine lay back, knowing once again that sleep would elude her.

Johnny Darling liked her.

Johnny Darling liked her.

Johnny Darling liked her.

No matter where she put the emphasis, it was still unbelievable. She touched her mouth, where his lips had been mere hours before. Did this mean he'd (eventually) want to have sex with her?
This thought made Clementine sit straight up in bed.

She lay back down, snuggling into her pillows as she laughed at herself. She couldn't have sex with John, she just couldn't. He'd see her naked, and no one saw her naked, not even her mother. Clementine even felt weird if the cat saw her naked, how could she possibly be in front of John with no clothes on?

Maybe she should start an exercise regimen, so that if it ever came to pass, she'd look passable, not the round thing she was now.

Yes, good idea. She'd start tomorrow, eating right, walking wherever she could.

Maybe she'd join a gym.

But that would mean that the people at the gym would see her in exercise clothes, sweating as she attempted to do what everyone else was already good at and in shape for.

Maybe no gym.

Clementine pondered the conundrum of how to get in shape to go to the place where people got in shape, finally shaking her head. It was like that thing where you cleaned your house before a cleaning person came because you didn't want them to see your house dirty.

She thought about her tummy, her thighs and hips, her too large breasts. How could she let John see her? She wouldn't even want to be in a bathing suit in front of him.

He was so perfect.

She finally told herself that this was all stupid, they'd only had the one kiss, after all. Sex was surely way down the road for them? Or would he expect it from her right away? Probably all his other partners just rolled over with their legs in the air the day they met. How could she compete with that?

Her phone dinged with a text. It couldn't be Johnny, he must've fallen asleep long ago?

"Hey there, it's me, Anastasia Ruiz—remember you said you'd make a jacket for me out of one of my old ones? I'd like to get going on that, if you have time. Maybe we can meet for coffee in the next few days to do the jacket hand off? Any particular day or time good for you?"

Clementine considered. Even though she was technically doing something for Anastasia, she still felt touched and complimented, as though it were the other way around. "I'm free most afternoons and evenings," she finally texted back.

"Wow, you're up, I figured I wouldn't hear from you until tomorrow. How about Friday, then? Around 3? The Starbucks on the corner of Wilshire and Santa Monica work for you? It's convenient for me, though of course I can go wherever you want."

"Sounds fine, see you there at 3."

Clementine put her phone back in the charger.

Her life was getting exciting in all kinds of ways.

Neat.

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