H I M

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i m a g i n e d r a g o n s

amsterdam

❝ I'm sorry, mother. I'm sorry, I let you down. Well, these days I'm fine. No, these days I tend to lie ❞

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c o n t e n t

in a state of peaceful happiness.

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     Dipper's fingers flew across the phones screen as he hurriedly searched for Mabel's name. His heart thundered as panic began seeping in him along with guilt. He felt awful for insulting Gleeful. Worry began crawling up his veins, his eyes held a look of concern as he held the phone next to his ear.

     "Dipper, it's okay, I forgive you," Mabel's soft voice was heard through Dipper's phone. Dipper gulped, feeling more guilt, this call wasn't to hear if Mabel forgave him or not.

     "Thank you," he breathed. "I've got a problem," he said quietly.

     "Dipper, I can't hear you, speak louder, Jesus," muttered Mabel. He could already imagine her rolling her eyes.

     "I've got a problem," he said louder, biting his lip, he began tapping his foot against the grass, the feeling of hurrying up growing.

    "What is it?"

    "I may have insulted Pines," Dipper began to ramble, "I didn't mean to, I mean I was already filled with so much crap from before, with me being a complete butt to you, and then Cipher, and then her? I didn't mean to hurt her, I never would have, what do I do? I didn't want to! She looked so hurt, I feel horrible, I mean, I shouldn't, but I do? What the hell am I supposed to do now? 

     I mean, forget the Journal for now, am I just going to lose a part of my humanity everyday? First with this, then what? I can't hurt her again, or anyone, I don't want to – I can't, Mabel, oh god, you have to help me with this, please, please," he whispered the next sentence, his voice breaking, "I can't bear to inflict hurt."

     Embarrassment had flown out of his body, and in place was a pool of guilt and protectiveness. When he saw the look of hurt on Pacifica's face, it felt like his heart was ripped to shreds, and stomped on, maybe spat on too. He wanted to hug her so bad. These feelings were messing up with his head, and he didn't want to sort them out. At least, not now.

    "Dipper, you've enslaved a demon, you got him. You've caused hurt more than ever, and now you're saying you don't want to hurt anyone? Dipper, what's wrong with you?" said Mabel, anger sizzling in her voice.

      "I've just realized, Mabel, I'm sorry."

      "Oh, so now you've realized you've hurt others? Damn, we should've brought this girl earlier to you. Jesus, you are so whipped," giggled Mabel, her tone switching like tides.

     "Now is not the time for your silly jokes," snapped Dipper. He heard Mabel laugh more, he raked his fingers through his hair. "Now, please, tell me what to do?"

     "This is like, the most please's you've ever said in a sentence, or paragraph? Well, jokes aside, you should probably go say sorry now, or you could wait a day?"

     "No! I can't wait, the guilt will kill me," hissed Dipper.

     "Well, then you know what to do, bro, goodnight, tell me how it turns out tomorrow," chuckled Mabel as she ended the call. Dipper gulped again, suddenly feeling nervous as he jogged to the doors of the school. Taking a deep breath, he tried to keep quiet as he rushed up the stairs to stand in front of the room.

     Should he knock, he thought. Shaking his head, he knocked. Waiting for a minute, he heard shuffling and sniffing. Sniffing. Panic burst inside of him. Had he made her cry? Worry began etching its way in.

     He heard the door unlock and when it opened, he saw the Pacifica's red, tear rimming eyes widen. Dipper put his foot next to the doors corner incase Pacifica shut it on him.

     "What do you want?" said Pacifica quietly, looking down at his shoes.

     "I – uh, I wanted to say that I didn't mean to snap at you the way I did, you didn't deserve it," replied Dipper in a soft voice. He put his finger underneath her chin and made her look up into her eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

     "It's okay," Pacifica said, averting her eyes from his. Dipper thought for a moment, he knew it wasn't okay. Not now, she couldn't forgive him this easily. He knew it. 

     It felt odd to ask someone for forgiveness, or even admit he was sorry. Never did he ever think he'd be in this position. This odd BLONDE made him do strange things.

     "No, it's not okay, but I just wanted you to know that, I had some... issues, if you could call them that, beforehand and I was - I don't know why I'm telling you this, but I was in a bad mood, and you were the only one there and I had to take it out," he quietly said. 

      "You didn't have to explain, but thank you, and thank you again. For understanding. So, how about next time, you don't be a #1 butthole again?"

     "Unless you want me to be," winked Dipper. Her cheeks flushed red and Dipper thought it'd be okay to smile. He grinned at her.

     "So, am I forgiven?"

     "Earn it, Gleeful," she replied cheekily, a smile finally forming.

     "And what would help me earn it?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe, crossing his arms as he looked down adoringly at Pacifica. At least, he didn't know he adored her. At that time, no, he just felt happy that she was. 

     And for that time, that moment, that was enough.

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b l o n d e

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Dedicated to: Mabel--Pines

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i ' m

o b s e s s e d

w i t h

t h e

t h o u g h t

o f

m e

b r e a k i n g

y o u r

h e a r t

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