As mentioned, she was not online at all. Maybe once or twice a month for few minutes. We barely talked unless it was in our server where I mess around with a good bunch of people. I have had everyone that I needed..eomma, appa, granny, grandpa, siblings, my jimin, an angel, dada...wow, the list is never ending.

I actually never felt her absence much unless I saw my granny Hobi flirting with grandpa Yoongi. How funny? It kind of made me feel empty but then I didnt even know Jungkook much to make memories that I could miss. I was always competitive, opposite of real Taehyung.

I wanted to be the best in whatever I do so even being a husband was a competition. An unknown battle to prove I was the best out there but unfortunately with no partner. That continued for some time but then she showed up after few months. Still it was just random conversations in the server and few messages in inbox which were random.

I easily made friends, more like many people were curious about me back then in 2021. I have no idea, but if you scroll down my conversation box in wattpad, you can see a lot of people asking me to be their friends and wanting to know me. I am literally way too extroverted when in character as Taehyung/ Taetae. I enjoyed making friends and goofing with them.

Things escalated quick, maybe her absence was one of the many reasons. I am uncapable of saying a 'no' to anyone for anything so all I do is go along with the flow. Randomly one day, a certain someone from the server who is apparently good at flirting around caught my attention. No mentioning name or going into details.

It was me, who took that flirting to another dimension in the dms. I am keeping no filters here, many of the people who are active in discord might know this too or else, be ready to be caught off guard! The other dimension was 'sexting' (sex chat) as in rp. You use your role play to do that which means nothing related to your real identity. It was common back then, I assume or maybe like having the identity of Taehyung brought the Demon out in me.

It started with that one person, but gradually it spread like wild fire. One became two, two became three, three became four. I dont have counts of how many people were there but I clearly remember each one of them. They all seriously loved me a lot. It was maybe the kind of dominance which they allowed me to enjoy.

I enjoyed it, not having Jungkook online only made it easier for me. Not like she didn't know, she just didn't bother or care much about it. She was not possessive at all, which honestly triggered me.

"Doesn't she care? Why doesn't she stop me? Why is she so normal about this?"

Ofcourse me fucking around with all is also roleplay and being with Jungkook was also roleplay. So shouldn't it be a concern for her? I had a lot of questions but then I knew...

I AINT A SAINT AND SHE ISNT A JERK!

I continued it for so long to the point, it was impossible to find a way out of it. The dominance and power I had over them was kind of an addiction to me that I never stopped to think about the mess I am going in.

I secretly wished, it was all Jungkook...How good it would be to have this bond with your wife? Someone whom you can call as yours.

Her absence brought the worst out in me even without even realizing. I admit, it was my fault. I was a jerk, a manipulative sex freak back then. In that process, I did hurt a lot of people too. Some people fighting over who was more important to me, some admitting that I was better to be with even if its for this 'sexting'. It was going out of my control.

(I am not bragging here. This is nothing to brag about, this is just how I fucked up a lot of people. It was all fun but little did I know there will be more depth to this. I realized it the hardest way.)