Ek Adhuri Daastan by Sparkly_penned

Style: 13.9/20

Characterization: 7.5/10

Emotions- 7.5/10

Creativity- 12.5/20

Structure- 7.9/10

Grammar- 13.8/20

Title- 6.8/10

Total:- 70.6/100

Filled with just appropriate amount of mysteries, I love how the story took off. The suspense just kept increasing, building the interest of the readers. So, basically I loved how you kept the readers hooked to the story from the very beginning.

But there were few disappointing errors also present, that were hard to neglect.

One; the characters were not explored to their limits. I understand that Swara's character is a mysterious one and will be explored in the coming chapters but even Sanskaar's character was not given much importance. All along the four chapters, I just came to know that Sanskaar is a famous, 'Architect', and nothing else was described.

So, you need to get a firm grip on the descriptions and character development. Take it slow and continue exploring the characters as the story moves forward.

Two, the story lacks creativity. An abandoned mansion, a locked room and a ghost girl/boy or a ghostly vibes from a girl/boy is everything that needs to kick start a horror story.

So yes, there were many things that needed to be changed or maybe some unique things needed to be added.

You need to pay a lot more attention to the grammar aspect as well. All throughout the story the tenses were not placed correctly. You kept on changing the tenses. If one sentence will be in the past, then the bottom sentence will be in present and then again in past... and this mistake kept on repeating.

In short, high amount of editing is needed.

But if I have to describe this book in single word, I'd say it is a captivating story.

Since the beginning it had me hooked badly and I enjoyed reading every bit of it.

Eagerly waiting for the further chapters to unleash!

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Forbidden Crush by thatabayagirl

Style: 13.5/20

Characterization: 4/10

Structure: 5/10

Emotions: 5/10

Grammar:15 /20

Creativity: 12.5/20

Title: 8/10

Total:- 63/100

The title ‘Forbidden Crush’ suits your story and gives a quick little insight in a reader’s mind. It is thoughtful of you. The cover doesn’t properly go with the story and the title. The background of the story starts with college and it’s about sweet teenager crush of a girl on her senior which is quite a common read.

What your story lacked was development of characters and their characterization. I felt the story was rushed, forgetting to give a brief detail on the characters. Not only characters, but I felt even the little detailing that you should add to some scenes were missing. Like in the first chapter itself, the scene between the bus and the class was super-rushed that I had to give it a few reads to clearly analyze the situation. As the characters were not developed, the emotions were highly falling back.

It even lacked a bit in the concept of creativity and originality. I found it quite similar to other college stories and it didn’t seem a bit realistic. The collisions and the meets between the male and female protagonists were quite frequent to be real. The campaign part was good but I think it does need a little editing. I was looking forward for some new twists or some good spice to the story but I was disappointed.

I felt wrong use of paragraphs and I think it could be improved by a little more practice.

The story is easy to read but I’d suggest it needs some new vocab. The grammar was good. Too much names seemed really confusing and hard to remember so I’d suggest use of less names with a proper characterization.

Key points to remember:

•A good characterization is needed to develop your characters and bring their personality out.

•Scenes must be described properly without rushing.

•Some creativeness is definitely missing which does needs some new and mystery element.

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Flawlessly Flawed by amaya_kashaf

Style: 13/20

Characterization: 7/10

Creativity: 11.8/20

Structure; 6.7/10

Emotions; 6/10

Grammar 15/20

Title: 6.5/10

Total:- 66/100

Amazing storyline filled with twists and turns which would leave anyone awestruck with the amount of suspense present inside it.

But then again, few things needed to be constructed and revised.

Beginning with, the story was creative, but somewhere it was representing the typical cliché society. There were many instances where characters as well as the plot were pulled off in a dramatic manner. In short, originality as well as narrative voice was lacking.

Even the structure of the story seemed unbalanced at certain parts. I felt the story lose it charms in the middle half as family scenes were dragged a lot. Even the emotions of the characters were not displayed much. Mainly, I felt that when Nandini was taken (sex) by Manik, at least her emotions, her feelings... should have been displayed properly, instead of rushing with Nandini accepting her fate.

Grammar was okay but you need to revise punctuation rules and tenses. There were many other grammatical errors such as, change in narrative voice from active to passive and back to active and few awkward pronunciations.

When you start with the chapter, the start needs to be grasping and attentive that would directly pull the readers in. Even the ending should be intimidating enough that would leave readers asking for more and more.

Overall, it was a great read and I think the characters were the best elements in the story, they were different and unusual. But somewhere they could be explored more.

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Stars by StarsAndFireflies_

Style - 18/20

Characterization - 10/10

Creativity - 18/20

Structure - 9/10

Emotions - 10/10

Grammar - 19/20

Title - 9/10

Total - 93/100

I'd like to start off by saying how much I enjoyed reading this story. I actually fell in love with this one. Then there is the title, which I absolutely like. Plus, I am a little biased towards short titles so that's a bonus point for you.

Honestly, I didn't get the connection between the title and the storyline but as I read further, I will say it fits the story very well. You really have
amazing skills in choosing a title.

You have a very firm grip on writing and I love your writing style. It easily draws the reader. The chapter length is in the right amount. Neither too long nor too short. Your creative attention to the descriptions is really refreshing and emotions are conveyed so well. I could connect to the characters. And I think it's a great achievement for the writer if the readers are able to connect with the story and feel the emotions the writer wants to convey. You've definitely achieved that phase.

One thing, I'd like to mention you have crafted the storyline so well. No cliche character, no cliche plot. Everything has a touch of realism. Character development of each and every character in your story is clearly evident.
From college going, fun loving teenagers to mature adults with real life and tough experiences, they all have grown so well physically and mentally both.

Readers mostly like the leads of a story only but after reading Stars, I must
say every character has claimed his/her presence remarkably. You have done justice with each one of them. Like for example, you can take me. I'd really love to read another perspective of Stars through Aryaman and Alia.

These two really need a beautiful reunion now. There are so many emotions in the story but your use of humour to loosen up the serious moments did make the reading enjoyable and more fun to read.

And there came the twist which hooked me real bad. Inaaya's pregnancy, Amms death, Abhimanyu's death and of course, his sudden reappearance.
They all fell apart. I might be wrong but I feel Mukti's disappearance is related to Abhi. But still not sure, because it's your story and since I have
read your other stories, who knows you might twist it in something
unpredictable. I couldn't really guess the reason behind all this is Harshad until you revealed.

I tried my best to find any plot hole or mistakes in the story but all in vain. I couldn't find anything major to point out except some minor grammatical mishaps. More like typing errors.

Your grammar is pretty good. You just need to do a quick edit. Plus, I love the way you mixed some hindi words in the dialogues. It felt like something I'd do. Also, because of this Icould relate your version of characters to the original KYY characters, especially Nandini.

The thing I adores the most in Stars is the friendship bond they all share whether it's AbhiNi, Fab 5, CabiNi, Manan or even Manik and Abhi :p

Sentences are structured beautifully and titles of each chapter are so apt. Oh and also, I really love reading the quotes you put in the end of the chapters. They have a deep meaning and also they are related to the chapters too.

Tbh, I loved every part of the story. 'Stars' is a must read book and I didn't vote while reading but will do it soonish.

Overall, it's an amazing plot, splendid storyline, well-planned scenes, good grammar, solid development in the characters, smooth pace, and is beautifully written.

You really have nice imagery.

Well done!!

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All the books were amazing and worth a read.

All the best for your future.

Love, Rapunzel
#starlights