"I want to die, I heard there's a chance at an after life."

Pastel!Michael and Punk!Jeremy(oh the irony)

TW: suicidal thoughts, talking about abusive exes, talk about exes who cheated, umm...emotional crap, and swearing

Enjoy

Jeremy Heere and Michael Mell were roommates. That much need not be said. However they didn't really talk much.

See, Michael was what most of his friends, which wasn't a lot, called a "pastel" while Jeremy was a "punk."

The thing is, they're roommates. Ironic right? Yes it's very ironic.

Well it WAS ironic. Until...well that's what this little story is about.

Jeremy had had three girlfriends and one boyfriend. The first ended up coming out as lesbian to him and said they'd be better as friends. He was okay with that.

The second one was cheating on him with at least three people. A girl named Madilyn, a guy named Jake(who Jeremy knew well), and an unknown third.

The third one was the unknown third. Jeremy'd come home to see her in bed with the second ex and from that moment on he refused to have a girlfriend ever again.

The boyfriend...he didn't want to talk about...or remember

He refused to date all together. Until he got to college and got his roommate.

Most wouldn't know about this story, Jeremy just shrugged it off as romance being overrated and left it at that. But that was a lie. It tore him up inside...he'd lost two people to cheating...he'd lost two people to each other for goodness sake.

But...He wanted to believe that if he tried to get with Michael, he could. That Michael wouldn't cheat on him...

Michael had been single his whole life. It was also hard finding a boyfriend when almost every male you knew never talked to you...or your only friends are girls.

That was Michael. He had one friend. Jeremy's first ex, Christine Canigula. And she knew how much he loved Jeremy. Of course, that meant her girlfriend, Jenna Rolan, knew as well.

"You can't tell anybody Jenna...Please I beg Jeremy can't find out or else he'll live the room and I'll be alone again just...don't tell anyone." Michael begged and Jenna nodded, scrolling through Tumblr notifications.

"I won't Mell don't worry. If I did, Christine would've already told him that it was nothing. Right babe?" Jenna kissed Christine's cheek and the shorter female giggled in response.

"Yep. Besides Jeremy likes Michael back....I wasn't supposed to tell you that for-forgetIsaidanythingatall!!" She ran out of the room, Jenna chasing after her.

Michael blinked before processing what just happened...then he turned blood red and covered his face, squealing like a girl.

Jeremy Heere liked him back. Jeremy liked him at all! He could've swore Jeremy never wanted to talk to him from how he acted but no. He liked him back...miracle.

Jeremy was sitting alone in his and Michael's room when the pastel boy made his way in.

"Okay Michael. Don't screw this up...You know he doesn't like talking about love. Just...Just calm down."

"Hey Jeremy?" Michael spoke softly, getting the taller male's (yay smol Micha)attention.

"Hmm?"

"Umm, so I know you're...you don't like talking about romance and all that but I...I really need some advice." Michael wasn't lying, just...hiding some truth.

"Okay, romance is fucking awful and you should stay single if you can." Jeremy stated bluntly, turning away from Michael.

"But..Romance isn't that bad Jeremy. I mean I've never experienced it-"

"DON'T. It's... It's damn right awful. People leave you...hurt you...People act like they care but they don't...They lie. Don't let yourself get lied to Michael." Jeremy'd began tearing up but wiped his eyes and readjusted his sunglasses. "Please..." He mumbled softly, Michael didn't hear it.

He left their room and Michael sighed. He'd screwed up...He really had.

(Meanwhile...Madison is struggling with the fact not everything can be settled with committee....I'm trash y'all)

"Chris he asked me for advice and like...things happened and I...I fucked up I know I probably made him feel like shit..." Jeremy muttered and Christine put a hand on his shoulder.

"Well...Open up to him. Talk to him. Just...show him you care."

"After my sorry display of advice I doubt he'd wanna be my friend..." Jeremy looked down and Christine took off his sunglasses to look at him eyes to eyes.

"Jeremy. I bet Michael sees a beautiful man when he looks at you. Like I did...I bet he understands you're struggling with something and he wants to help you." Christine said softly and Jeremy smiled.

"You sure?"

"Yep. Now go get him." Christine pushed Jeremy gently out the door with a bright smile, waving enthusiastically. Jeremy waved back and left, heading back to his room.

"Michael. You here?" Jeremy opened the door and didn't see Michael. "Fuck he's not." Jeremy muttered before he heard something. "Mell?"

He followed the noise and found Michael in his small room of the dorm. Jeremy froze, seeing the pastel boy putting yellow and red roses in a flower pot.

"I c-can explain!!" Michael yelled and Jeremy blinked in confusion. "I...I wanted to try and be a b-better roommate so I bought you a gift...I know you're not soft like me but I couldn't help myself." Michael turned red and Jeremy silently walked over and looked at the roses calmly. "Are you mad?"

"Mad? Why would I be mad?"

"Well...roses are usually symbols of affection...and you hate love..."

"I...I don't hate love." In that moment, Jeremy broke every inch of his tough guy persona. His eyes were wide and on the brink of tears. "I just...I don't want to accept that I'm in love...because I swore I wouldn't be again..."

"You're in love?" Michael couldn't help but walk closer to Jeremy and grab his hand calmly.

"Yeah. But I dunno how to say it..."

"Well...I'd...I'd bring whoever it is close, caress their cheek softly, and just...tell them how I feel." Michael had done everything he explained to Jeremy. They stared at each other before Jeremy sighed.

"I...I think you're really sweet...and cute and even funny. You're perfect, you never get mad and you're always so calm and optimistic and I love that. When you give gifts you look for symbolism and that's just...adorable." Jeremy whispered sweetly and Michael wiped away the tears forming.

"H-Hey I...I think you're really cool Jeremy...You're strong, you can defend yourself... you're pretty brave compared to me...And... You're beautiful. I've been wanting to tell you for a while but I knew you didn't wanna have another relationship...but I didn't...I didn't know why..." Michael mumbled the last bit and Jeremy heard.

"His name was Eric..." Jeremy was silent. He gently pushed off of Michael and turned away from him.

"What?" Michael was confused.

"The reason I tried to give up love was a man named Eric. He was probably the nicest man I met. He treated me well, he told me how special I was to him, and how much he loved me. He wiped away my tears and sadness and he helped me through a lot of problems...then...he asked me to have...sex...with him. I s-said no...and he got mad. He told me that...that after everything he did...I should trust him...but I said no again...he....beat me...he told me that if I didn't than he would ever love me...and I...I was a fool...and finally said yes...he continued beating me when I told him no or to stop...and I finally left. A year later I came here and now I'm your roommate...and...I never wanted anything like that to happen again so I distanced myself from you...yet...I still fell for you..." Jeremy sadly confessed, crying, voice shaking. Michael held him close and looked up at him calmly.

"Jeremy I'm...I'm sorry about that...I swear I would never force you to do something you didn't want to...I'm all about consent...I always ask before I do anything...I promise." Michael's words were soft and gently, and Jeremy felt himself smile at them.

He thought he'd never trust another...never love another...but that was before Michael Mell, aka the sweetest person he knew, came into his life...

They took it slow for a bit but within a year they were kind of a power couple. But I mean everyone expected it.

Especially the author. Who just broke the fourth wall that probably never existed.