I'm in the mood for the boys just being emotional and stuff. This is probably something that happened like right after they get together in my HC timeline thing...I'm in a mood to acknowledge the crap Jeremy went through ok.

TW: general angst, mentions of the stuff that happened on Halloween(DywH and MitB), Squip induced PTSD swearing, mentions of self harm...I believe that's it

Michael Mell and Jeremy Heere were dating, and had been for a little under a week, but there was something...off...about their relationship.

That was something neither of them liked to talk about, and that was the Halloween party.

Neither of them said it, but they both regretted that night. But they refused to talk about their reasoning behind what they each did...and how irrational they both had been.

Well they finally managed to get the topic up, and that's what this is about.

***

Jeremy had spaced out for the hundredth time that night, and Michael decided to call it quits and he turned his console off, the basement now being dimly lit by the TV.

"Jere you ok? You've been spacing out a lot."

"I-I'm...fine..." Michael heard a small slapping sound and turned to see Jeremy's hand was slightly red. Did he...? No...maybe?

"You... You're thinking about Halloween aren't you?" He muttered and Jeremy let his hair cover his face, and nodded. "You...wanna finally talk about it.. we've been...well blatantly putting it, avoiding the entire situation. And we don't know each other's sides of the story...don't you think it would be helpful to at least get it off our chests?"

"Y-Yeah...you...you wanna go first?"

"Honestly I say you have more right to go first."

"O-Okay..." Jeremy leaned on Michael's arm and sighed. "You... you remember  what I said happened with C-Chloe right?"

"The whole trying to make Jake jealous makeout session thing?"

"W-Well...I didn't tell you the full story. She...she tried to have s-sex with me Michael...full blown sex. And the Squip HELPED...and...and I was honestly horrified and regretting even showing up to the party at that point I c-couldn't even...I wasn't being allowed to move..."

"Shit Jere I...I didn't know you went through that shit..." Jeremy was shaking on Michael's arm, and the taller male pulled a blanket off the floor and wrapped it around him.

"A-Anyways...Jake broke down the door and I bolted for the b-bathroom...and...I was honestly glad to s-see you... I really fucking was...I mean...I hadn't seen you in how long?"

"Weeks...months...I don't know..."

"B-But...When you mentioned the Squip being bad...my brain didn't want to c-comprehend it...so...I basically said to you what I felt towards that part of myself...or as the Squip called it...Jeremy 1.0...and...and I felt like that part...that d-doubtful part of myself...was the biggest loser inside of me...and...I called you that...cause I wanted out of that room, considering what just happened...I was drunk...and I saw myself in y-you...and I didn't want to think the Squip was bad...I wanted to believe it was good...but.. deep down I k-knew it wasn't..." Jeremy had started crying just from thinking back to Halloween. "And I'd become so dependent on the Squip...I honestly didn't know w-what to say...so I just thought of what it would tell me to do..."

"And it would've told you to call me a loser."

"Exactly..."

"Aw Jere it's okay...you know I forgive you right?" Michael tried smiling but he realized Jeremy wasn't looking.

"I don't see how..." Jeremy's head was now hid in Michael's hoodie and blanket, and Michael wrapped his arm around Jeremy, allowing the boy to slump further into him, and began stroking his arm.

"Because...I love you...and...I guess it's my turn to open up?" Jeremy nodded, Michael feeling it under his arms, and he cleared his throat before beginning his spill. "I...I didn't mean to provoke you the way I did...I genuinely wanted to help you...cause...seeing you upset like you were every day made me feel like I was a fucking failure. It made me feel like absolute shit because you didn't smile your smile. I could tell it was plastered...plus.. I didn't want to live to see the day you were put in an insane asylum...like...l-like..." Michael choked up on his own tears and Jeremy quickly pulled out of his nook to wipe them away and calm Michael down.

"L-Like who Micha?" Jeremy asked and Michael's tears kept streaming his cheeks.

"L-Like my brother..."

"Wait...Alec?"

"Mmhm...he got a Squip...I didn't tell you during the party...he's the guy I t-told you about.. that went crazy...Alec lost it...he wrote this long email about it and told me to never let anyone I love get one...he had to drink himself to sleep at night...and I-I didn't wanna see that happen to you...and I know you considered that option...because the play."

"Oh...that..."

"But...I really didn't mean to trigger any kind of negative feelings towards yourself on Halloween...I swear I never meant that...I only wanted what's best for you..."

"And I thought you were jealous." Jeremy scolded himself and Michael grabbed his hand. Jeremy noticed Michael's burnt hand was the one that was holding his and looked up at his boyfriend.

"I was...but...but it was because you actually tried...you aren't held back by social anxiety or dependency issues...I can't even survive without one person in my life...and can hardly make other friends...I have only successfully ever made one..."

"Micha...it's okay...you think I wasn't held back? I thought a super computer could help me...that was the dumbest decision I've ever made...but...I am glad we cleared the whole b-bathroom incident up..."

"I mean... at least you got popularity...I'm still the same loser I was before...and while I'm okay with that...you look happier now that you have more friends...even if they are my friends...I didn't make them myself..."

"Hey, you aren't a l-loser Michael. You're my best friend, my boyfriend, and the coolest person I've ever met. How many losers you t-think can single handedly stop the zombie apocolypse? And how many losers do you know that are as adorable as you?" Jeremy had a hand on Michael's cheek and a smile on his face and Michael couldn't help but blush at the comment. "C'mon, I see you smiling Michael."

"I-I know I am...your dorkiness always seems to carve its way inside of me even when I'm upset...I'll never understand how..."

"Neither will I..." Jeremy repositioned his body so he would be laying down on Michael's legs, and Michael held Jeremy's head up and sat a pillow underneath so he could rest without feeling boney legs all night. "G'night Micha.. "

"Night Jeremy. Love you."

"Love you too...you're my favorite person you know..."

"You're my favorite person."

"No you're my favorite person."

"Why are we doing this Jeremy?"

"I don't fucking know Michael, you're the one who started the chain."

"Nuh uh! You started it."

Lay down and go to bed Micha."

"But I wanna sleep with you. All homo."

"Fine. But only because I don't have any damn idea how to say no to your cute dorky ass face."