A/N: okay so I may have stolen the fourth line from an amazing book called 'beautiful to me' (I'm re-reading it for the fifth time) 

Michael's POV (the whole 'Michael in the bathroom thing hasn't happened but Jeremy has been being a dick to him)

I'm lying on my back on my bed in T-shirt and pyjama pants, the only lights in the room coming from my fairy lights lining my mirror and the dim glow of my messily rolled blunt

thoughts of Jeremy swam through my head, his smile, his

I don't want to be alone. I want to in the arms of the only person who has ever loved me... but he's not here. he's probably getting laid or at a party

I sigh and put the blunt to my lips and take a deep breathing inhaling the fumes and chemicals. I feel my breathing and heart rate slow as I close my eyes, not wanting the warmth in my lungs to leave

a soft breeze ruffles my short hair and cools my cheeks and nose. I exhale a hazy cloud of smoke opening my red eye's to watch the light see-through curtains on the eyes of my window rise up and fall down to the lazy pattern that the wind created

I lethargically look over at the small green and black digital clock on my bed side table, 2:45

I lift my legs and swing them off my bed, slowly walking over to my record player putting on 'why ii love the moon' by phony ppl 

I take another hit and feel my body relax as lazily dance around my room, all thoughts of Jeremy melting away

I walk up to small balcony that is attached to my room and step out and let the freezing but fresh air wrap around me

I sighed before even knowing I was holding my breath in, I letting the blurred grey smoke out of my lungs as I looked up as the cloud of smoke fades away into the clear starry sky

the stars scattered across the open sky just like freckles scattered across Jeremy's face... I can't lie, I miss him and tying to forget him will never work

words he's thrown at me echo in my head

..loner...not worth it... kind of sad...stoner...why bother with you?...lonely..

I shut my eyes tight while all I can think is... he's right. He knows me better than anybody and he knows that it's all true 

I let the sound of the crackly record hit my back and take my mind back to where I am now... a small, cold balcony in the middle of the night

I walk back in my room and close the narrow door and thin curtains, goose bumps finding their way up my legs and arms

I turn off the fairy lights but leave the record player on as I put out the end of my badly rolled blunt and lift my thick heavy quilt in the same place I was lying before

I flop down on the soft mattress and let my face fall directly on to the mountain of plushy pillows that line the top of my double bed    

sleep consumes me and I feel my exhaustion engulf me into a deep sleep as I imagine that it's Jeremy who is holding me and not the soft blankets 

..I wonder if he's been thinking about me?

A/N: i'm sorry I don't update this book much but I just lost all motivation for this BUT when I do feel like writing something I will update it (but I don't think it will happen very often tho) 

and yeah, I'm not bothered to proof read this

SIN-CER-LY, ME!

words: 613