Rate: 8/10

Thoughts: I LOVE your writing. I wish I could write well as you but I suck at it so bad... but I just love it and hope to become as good as yours.

Others: I know it's the first chapter but you might want to put in a bit more dialogue. It's what keeps the story going and have readers keep in an interest rather than descriptions. But it all depends on the readers interest.

Author: AuthorBeauty